|
0/5
|
10%
|
Dr. Seuss - The Cat in the Hat (2003) |
—
rec.arts.movies.reviews
Posted Jan 22, 2013
|
|
0/5
|
11%
|
Pathfinder (2007) |
"
I was so irritated that I paid money to see this that I snuck into two movies afterward to feel better about my investment. Boooooooooring."
—
rec.arts.movies.reviews
Posted May 6, 2007
|
|
0/5
|
10%
|
Dr. Seuss - The Cat in the Hat (2003) |
"
Ever catch a family member sniffing your underwear? I haven't either, but I suspect it feels something like how I felt leaving the theatre...Argh!"
—
Cinerina
Posted Dec 1, 2003
|
|
0/5
|
45%
|
Spy Kids 3-D - Game Over (2003) |
"
I was too bored to be properly angry, and too disgusted to be properly lulled to sleep. Robert has betrayed us all."
—
Cinerina
Posted Aug 8, 2003
|
|
0/5
|
61%
|
I'll Do Anything (1994) |
—
Cinerina
Posted Oct 11, 2002
|
|
0/5
|
0%
|
Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002) |
"
If only Maxwell Smart had been here to foil KAOS yet again - avoid at all costs"
—
Cinerina
Posted Sep 19, 2002
|
|
0/5
|
54%
|
Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002) |
"
For every brilliant moment (for example, casting Michael Caine as Austin's father), there are wads of blecch barring your finding it."
—
Cinerina
Posted Jul 25, 2002
|
|
—
|
11%
|
The Musketeer (2001) |
"
Te script rewrites were done by Koko (the gorilla). I swear I heard Richlieu at one point say "drink drink apple me kill D'Artagnan?""
—
Cinerina
Posted Sep 14, 2001
|
|
—
|
57%
|
Dr. T & The Women (2000) |
"
It's a bummer, it's got no story arc, the lead is unsympathetic and uninteresting, and the women characters are a wee bit over the top as well."
—
Cinerina
Posted Jun 14, 2001
|
|
0/10
|
2%
|
Battlefield Earth (2000) |
"
Clearly, at no point did anyone say, "Man, this is a steaming pile of hangover dung - why don't we fix it?""
—
Cinerina
Posted Jun 14, 2001
|
|
—
|
16%
|
The Avengers (1998) |
"
Oh, I am so angry I paid full price! Don't make the same mistake I did! I can save you the trouble and pain and bitterness. Listen to me. Don't go see it!"
—
Cinerina
Posted Jun 14, 2001
|
|
—
|
33%
|
Vampires (1998) |
"
I [need a] thesaurus for words to describe this execrable,detestable, fetid,stinky,crappy,ghastly, monstrous,wretched,rancid mess."
—
Cinerina
Posted Jun 14, 2001
|
|
—
|
66%
|
The Devil's Advocate (1997) |
"
I could have sat in the parking lot eating room temperature cheese ravioli and had a better time. Three hours of my life were wasted."
—
Cinerina
Posted Jun 14, 2001
|
|
0/10
|
12%
|
Sphere (1998) |
"
We snuck guiltily into the almost-empty theatre, already prepared to hate it. But we were ill prepared, all the same...We have nothing to sphere but Sphere itself."
—
Cinerina
Posted Jun 14, 2001
|
|
.5/5
|
57%
|
Transformers (2007) |
"
Horrible! Hey, I didn't poop on your childhood. Michael Bay did."
—
rec.arts.movies.reviews
Posted Jul 5, 2007
|
|
1/5
|
92%
|
Drag Me to Hell (2009) |
"
I really can't recommend it. Despite the fact that I support the idea of comedy horror, I do generally ask that it contain at the very least either comedy or horror."
—
Cinerina
Posted Jul 14, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
33%
|
Knowing (2009) |
"
Some producers sat in a screening room and thought, "Wow, this is gonna be great!" I give the filmmakers kudos for fully committing to an ending that others might have tried to mitigate or avert. They also fully committed to the immensely stupid surprise"
—
Cinerina
Posted May 31, 2009
|
|
1/5
|
16%
|
Max Payne (2008) |
"
The moment of the film when you should be going "oh my god I can't believe it," you're thinking, "I wonder if we could sneak into the end of Beverly Hills Chihuahua.""
—
Cinerina
Posted Nov 9, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
14%
|
Made of Honor (2008) |
"
My only consolation was that I saw this alone and no one else had to suffer these indignities with me...a baseless romance yearning to force itself into existence."
—
Cinerina
Posted Jul 17, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
62%
|
Diary of the Dead (2007) |
"
Diary of the Dead, even for zombie diehards like my little group (we watched Shadow: Dead Riot, for pete's sake), was not very good at all. I mourn."
—
Cinerina
Posted Jul 17, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
——
|
Farewell Darkness () |
"
Keith Compton has a lot asked of him in this movie, required by the script and/or the director to make his consuming rage varied and interesting for 96 minutes. Soon, however, the intensity gets exhausting and then tedious, until the anticlimax."
—
Cinerina
Posted Feb 19, 2008
|
|
1/5
|
82%
|
Pink Flamingos (1972) |
"
People complain about shock cinema and how far it has to go now to penetrate our jaded, desensitized sensibilities. Come meet the grandfather of it all!"
—
Cinerina
Posted Sep 2, 2007
|
|
1/5
|
34%
|
Reno 911!: Miami (2007) |
"
Disappointing for those of us who love the show..."
—
rec.arts.movies.reviews
Posted Mar 5, 2007
|
|
1/5
|
——
|
The War of the Worlds (2005) |
"
I am as big a supporter of the little guy as possible, but these folks need to step back and learn how to tell a story."
—
Cinerina
Posted Nov 9, 2005
|
|
1/5
|
3%
|
Cool World (1992) |
"
nice animation & design but - shudder"
—
Cinerina
Posted Jun 24, 2004
|
|
1/5
|
4%
|
The Whole Ten Yards (2003) |
"
Don't compromise yourself or your happy memories of the Whole Nine Yards by seeing this one."
—
Cinerina
Posted Apr 18, 2004
|
|
1/5
|
18%
|
The Medallion (2003) |
"
Jackie Chan has finally jumped the shark - and he needed wires to do it."
—
Cinerina
Posted Aug 21, 2003
|
|
1/5
|
31%
|
Head of State (2003) |
"
It's not political satire, and it's also, unfortunately, not very funny."
—
Cinerina
Posted Apr 6, 2003
|
|
1/5
|
29%
|
Nothing to Lose (1997) |
"
Too embarrassing for Robbins"
—
Cinerina
Posted Apr 6, 2003
|
|
1/5
|
14%
|
View from the Top (2003) |
"
We're supposed to cheer for her success, but she's shooting so far below her potential that it's depressing instead. That, and the huge lack of jokes."
—
Cinerina
Posted Mar 26, 2003
|
|
1/5
|
90%
|
Cidade de Deus (City of God) (2003) |
"
Incredible editing, but leaves an awful taste in my mouth - and I am totally desensitized to violence!"
—
Cinerina
Posted Mar 6, 2003
|
|
1/5
|
20%
|
Communion (2000) |
—
Cinerina
Posted Dec 18, 2002
|
|
1/5
|
4%
|
Mr. Wrong (1996) |
—
Cinerina
Posted Dec 7, 2002
|
|
1/5
|
31%
|
Every Which Way But Loose (1978) |
"
Clint and an organgutan...."
—
Cinerina
Posted Sep 19, 2002
|
|
1/5
|
67%
|
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones 3D (2013) |
"
A tale full of sound and fury, sucking the life out of cinema."
—
Cinerina
Posted Aug 15, 2002
|
|
1/5
|
——
|
Cadillac Ranch (1997) |
"
Boring, but I am in it!"
—
Cinerina
Posted Aug 15, 2002
|
|
1/5
|
29%
|
Curse of the Pink Panther (1983) |
"
Just not the same"
—
Cinerina
Posted Aug 15, 2002
|
|
1/5
|
59%
|
The Omega Man (1971) |
—
Cinerina
Posted Jul 25, 2002
|
|
1/5
|
81%
|
Mulholland Drive (2001) |
"
The film is performance art, it's masturbation - apparently very fulfilling for the doer but pretty dang tiresome for the watcher."
—
Cinerina
Posted Jan 15, 2002
|
|
1/5
|
40%
|
Vanilla Sky (2001) |
"
Bad enough the butler actually did it - have the butler wipe the victim's blood on the stumped inspector's face, & confess for 10 minutes.."
—
Cinerina
Posted Jan 15, 2002
|
|
|
44%
|
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (2002) |
"
Not as good as the book it is based on..."
—
Cinerina
Posted Sep 16, 2002
|
|
|
39%
|
Men in Black II (2002) |
"
If you have seen the preview, you have seen literally every funny moment."
—
Cinerina
Posted Jul 10, 2002
|
|
3
|
15%
|
The Affair of the Necklace (2001) |
"
It is a pleasant, but forgettable film, worth seeing for the tale itself and for Baker's and Price's performances."
—
Cinerina
Posted Dec 30, 2001
|
|
2
|
82%
|
Ocean's Eleven (2001) |
"
It's merely OK, but it is completely watchable, and equally forgettable."
—
Cinerina
Posted Dec 18, 2001
|
|
2.5
|
65%
|
Heist (2001) |
"
Despite Mamet's extensive experience, it is both sloppily written and surprisingly unpolished."
—
Cinerina
Posted Nov 10, 2001
|
|
2
|
14%
|
The One (2001) |
"
What little good that can be said about The One is easily summed up in this sentence: Jet Li fights himself."
—
Cinerina
Posted Nov 10, 2001
|
|
3
|
39%
|
Hannibal (2001) |
"
The weakness of Hannibal is not only its source material (Starling becomes a sniveling victim?!) but also in not reveling in the deliciousness that is Hannibal Lecter."
—
Cinerina
Posted Oct 30, 2001
|
|
|
80%
|
Waking Life (2001) |
"
My companion did enjoy it, and my friend with a degree in philosophy will also probably enjoy it, but overall I found it pretentious, tiresome, pedantic, and one-note."
—
Cinerina
Posted Oct 30, 2001
|
|
2
|
——
|
Breaking Up (1997) |
"
Crowe was at the screening of the movie and I wished someone would have asked him "How could you do this movie after doing LA Confidential?""
—
Cinerina
Posted Oct 24, 2001
|
|
1.5
|
64%
|
Zoolander (2001) |
"
My two companions and I definitely laughed at certain points, and we generally admired the shrewd production design, but something important was missing."
—
Cinerina
Posted Oct 24, 2001
|