|
B
|
34%
|
Battleship (2012) |
"
The best part of Battleship's lackluster opening is that it immediately puts other game-based projects into turnaround: Easy Bake Oven: Apocalypse and My Pretty Pony: Rise of the Lycans, I'm talking to you."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted May 28, 2012
|
|
C
|
40%
|
Dark Shadows (2012) |
"
I knew we were in trouble when the cops drew a chalk outline around the box office."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted May 14, 2012
|
|
C
|
93%
|
Marvel's The Avengers (2012) |
"
What could be more effective against interstellar battle than a bow and arrows? 'You never know when an alien invader is the Sheriff of Nottingham,' warned Samuel L. Jackson."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted May 8, 2012
|
|
A-
|
78%
|
The Innkeepers (2012) |
"
Interview with Director/Writer Ti West. I liked this movie!"
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Apr 23, 2012
|
|
D
|
90%
|
The Cabin in the Woods (2012) |
"
...enough unemployed characters from Whedon's failed series Dollhouse to staff every Abercrombie & Fitch in Beverly Hills."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Apr 21, 2012
|
|
D
|
25%
|
Wrath of the Titans (2012) |
"
Ralph Fiennes returns in his ever-to-be-typecast role as the personification of evil - Hades, ruler of the underworld and, from the looks of it, ruler of the Doobie Brothers."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Apr 4, 2012
|
|
A-
|
85%
|
The Hunger Games (2012) |
"
The Hunger Games features names that are like color palette rejects at the Dior counter."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Mar 25, 2012
|
|
F
|
52%
|
John Carter (2012) |
"
John Carter will be hanging from those man-teets alongside animators for Treasure Planet in the new Disney World attraction: Hall of Disappointments."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Mar 12, 2012
|
|
C
|
56%
|
The Lorax (2012) |
"
I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees. I'm a creature whose hair is like Wilford Brimley's. 'But the trees have no tongue, and neither should you...' Unless Liberty Medical buys it, that's true!"
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Mar 4, 2012
|
|
F
|
42%
|
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (2012) |
"
'I used to serve in the Navy,' Rock explained, by which he meant the Village People song of the same name."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Feb 12, 2012
|
|
A
|
79%
|
The Grey (2012) |
"
'I don't see this movie ending well,' said a member of Liam's tribe, 'unless the wolves start talking to each other with the voices of Ian McKellen and Jeremy Irons.'"
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Jan 30, 2012
|
|
D
|
28%
|
Underworld Awakening (2012) |
"
'One day,' Kate assures her daughter, 'you, too, will grow up to dress like a restaurant server in San Francisco.'"
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Jan 26, 2012
|
|
D
|
33%
|
Joyful Noise (2012) |
"
'My face hasn't moved since the concrete set in 1978,' Dolly explained. 'If my face were gold you could find King Tut entombed in it.'"
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Jan 14, 2012
|
|
A-
|
77%
|
War Horse (2011) |
"
War Horse is the kind of evergreen holiday movie that will play annually on TV like Judy Garland in Easter Parade - except with dead horses and poison gas."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Jan 7, 2012
|
|
A-
|
94%
|
Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol (2011) |
"
Something goes wrong and the entire Kremlin blows up. 'The wattage of my smile has overpowered the antiquated Russian electrical grid,' explained Tom."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Dec 27, 2011
|
|
D
|
25%
|
Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011) |
"
How else to explain a wedding gown designed by Carolina Herrera in a town where the average gown is designed by Cooter and Otis Herrera."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Nov 28, 2011
|
|
D
|
36%
|
Immortals (2011) |
"
'Our headgear is fabulous!' says Apollo, the god of music and poetry and the hottest club in West Hollywood."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Nov 13, 2011
|
|
D
|
70%
|
Footloose (2011) |
"
'I believe that any town where Dennis Quaid can wear pleated trousers should also be a town where kids can dance,' says Ren. 'But first, I will prove my bona fides by racing a school bus encrusted with stuffed animals!'"
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Oct 18, 2011
|
|
C+
|
60%
|
Real Steel (2011) |
"
'I was the only boxer who knew every song to Rodgers & Hammerstein's Carousel and had my own Tommy Tune tribute band,' said Hugh Jackman, whose career has taken him from Wolverine to glucosamine."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Oct 12, 2011
|
|
C-
|
84%
|
Contagion (2011) |
"
Elliot Gould!? What, were George Segal and Ryan ONeal unavailable? Was it "free cheese day" at the celebrity shelter?"
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Sep 26, 2011
|
|
C-
|
59%
|
Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark (2011) |
"
'How many quarts of Haagen-Dazs can I throw up into that bottomless hole?' Katie asked."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Aug 31, 2011
|
|
C-
|
83%
|
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011) |
"
I thought apes in the future were hairy humans with walnut shells for mouths! These look too much like monkeys. If I want to watch monkeys take over the world I'll watch the Jersey Shore."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Aug 14, 2011
|
|
A-
|
96%
|
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2 (2011) |
"
'The wand chooses the wizard,' says John Hurt, whose own wand hasn't made any choices since its scaffolding collapsed after Bea Arthur died."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Jul 18, 2011
|
|
D
|
35%
|
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) |
"
'I am the enemy of Decepticons and body hair, and I intend to remove both with lasers!' said Rosie."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Jul 9, 2011
|
|
C-
|
27%
|
Green Lantern (2011) |
"
Ryan Reynolds is a fearless fighter pilot famous for wielding his stick in many a starlet's cockpit."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Jun 21, 2011
|
|
B
|
82%
|
Super 8 (2011) |
"
'Did that train just hit a car or a Michael Bay retrospective?'"
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Jun 14, 2011
|
|
C-
|
34%
|
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011) |
"
'Aye,' said one scurvy swab, 'Did ye notice that Penelope is dressed like she be commanding the S.S. El Torito?'"
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Jun 1, 2011
|
|
B+
|
77%
|
Thor (2011) |
"
I knew there was a planet of Frost Giants, but I always assumed the neighboring planet of Heat Misers would keep them in check."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted May 6, 2011
|
|
D
|
26%
|
Arthur (2011) |
"
Russell buys Abe Lincoln's stovepipe hat and wears it for the rest of this movie despite numerous autograph seekers requesting the guitar licks from Welcome to the Jungle."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Apr 10, 2011
|
|
D
|
35%
|
Battle: Los Angeles (2011) |
"
'Don't fire until you see the whites of Anderson Cooper's hair!'"
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Mar 14, 2011
|
|
C-
|
72%
|
The Adjustment Bureau (2011) |
"
'Help, I'm being followed by super-human salesmen in cardigans and hats!'"
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Mar 5, 2011
|
|
D
|
20%
|
The Rite (2011) |
"
Our hero has a vision: It's a jackass with red eyes. No, not Charlie Sheen, a different one."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Feb 2, 2011
|
|
C-
|
44%
|
The Green Hornet (2011) |
"
3D, 4D. You can throw double-D's at The Green Hornet, and you'll still end up with C-minus."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Feb 1, 2011
|
|
F
|
10%
|
Season of the Witch (2011) |
"
This is the puffy-faced Nic Cage. The one who fights for Christ and Little Debbies and not necessarily in that order."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Jan 9, 2011
|
|
A
|
96%
|
True Grit (2010) |
"
'Is your every utterance to be indecipherable, Marshall? Your vocalizations are less words than outhouse rumbles after overconsumption of whisky and chicken wings. Does your throat retain an unfortunate tumbleweed?'"
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Jan 2, 2011
|
|
C+
|
79%
|
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1 (2010) |
"
'With a name like 'Lovegood' I'm the luckiest woman with a profile on Match.com,' said Luna. 'The second-luckiest,' said Moonraker's Holly Goodhead."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Nov 27, 2010
|
|
C
|
86%
|
Unstoppable (2010) |
"
'Yes, I've moved to the station master chapter in my career,' said Rosario Dawson. 'It's the chapter that comes right between ingenue and Law and Order.'"
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Nov 14, 2010
|
|
C
|
59%
|
Paranormal Activity 2 (2010) |
"
'This camera has your eyes,' said the illegal nanny, as she placed it in a high chair and tried to feed it cheerios."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Oct 25, 2010
|
|
B-
|
55%
|
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010) |
"
Transformers alum Shia is the protege of Decepticon Megatron Douglas - who is looking rather Megatranny these days."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Sep 27, 2010
|
|
D
|
51%
|
Devil (2010) |
"
Who's the devil in the elevator? I vote for the guy who farts or the rugrat who considers the pressing of fifty buttons indistinguishable from play."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Sep 20, 2010
|
|
B
|
73%
|
Machete (2010) |
"
Check out that cast of all-stars and never-were-stars and certainly-no-longer-stars. This must be what it's like when the Sheens and the Baldwins have a barbecue."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Sep 5, 2010
|
|
C
|
40%
|
The Expendables (2010) |
"
Wow, I haven't seen this much over-the-hill action since Don Ameche and Hume Cronyn did laps in Cocoon."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Aug 30, 2010
|
|
A-
|
62%
|
Salt (2010) |
"
So Angie disguises herself as Mario Cantone for whom the White House evidently has an open door policy. 'Some White Houses are more Chris Noth, others are more Mario Cantone,' explained the helpful White House gate guard as he ushered the Salahis and thei"
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Jul 26, 2010
|
|
D
|
64%
|
Predators (2010) |
"
'What planet is this?' asked Adrien. 'Wherever it is, my iPhone 4 keeps dropping calls,' said Danny Trejo."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Jul 17, 2010
|
|
B-
|
49%
|
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010) |
"
'If I'm going to marry someone who's dead, at least he should have a job,' says Bella. 'Although,' Bella's friend reminded her, 'who wouldn't prefer a dead boyfriend to one you wish was dead?'"
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Jul 6, 2010
|
|
C
|
53%
|
Knight & Day (2010) |
"
Cameron Diaz has turned to PIXAR to create the perfect CGI manifestation of a face. 'It has been a long time since the sight of me has evoked both Buzz and Woody,' explained Cameron."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Jun 30, 2010
|
|
D
|
35%
|
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010) |
"
'It is said some lives are linked across time%u2026.' begins the ponderous narration. And it is said that some movies should only be seen on TNT and with Noah Wyle in the starring role."
—
MovieJuice!
Posted Jun 11, 2010
|
|
B
|
43%
|
Robin Hood (2010) |
"
'In this version of the tale,' said Ridley Scott, 'Robin Hood fires a desk telephone at a bullseye from 100 yards and hits it square on.'"
—
MovieJuice!
Posted May 16, 2010
|
|
D
|
15%
|
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) |
"
This is what happens when Gossip Girl has a character with a blemish problem and a stripe-savvy fashion sense"
—
MovieJuice!
Posted May 2, 2010
|
79%
33%
54%
52%
