|
1/5
|
6%
|
Exit to Eden (1994) |
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Jan 21, 2004
|
|
1/5
|
5%
|
Cocktail (1988) |
—
Creative Loafing
Posted May 2, 2003
|
|
1/5
|
32%
|
The Relic (1997) |
—
Creative Loafing
Posted May 2, 2003
|
|
1/5
|
37%
|
Last Man Standing (1996) |
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Apr 30, 2003
|
|
1/5
|
35%
|
Young Einstein (1988) |
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Apr 30, 2003
|
|
1/5
|
13%
|
The Glimmer Man (1996) |
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Apr 30, 2003
|
|
1/5
|
44%
|
Tommy Boy (1995) |
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Apr 30, 2003
|
|
1/5
|
33%
|
Chasers (1994) |
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Jul 29, 2002
|
|
1/5
|
0%
|
Zapped! (1982) |
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Jul 29, 2002
|
|
1/5
|
46%
|
King Kong (1976) |
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Jul 29, 2002
|
|
1/5
|
57%
|
Street Trash (1986) |
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Jul 29, 2002
|
|
1/5
|
74%
|
The Indian Runner (1991) |
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Jul 29, 2002
|
|
1/5
|
16%
|
Son of the Pink Panther (1993) |
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Jul 29, 2002
|
|
1/4
|
——
|
Scanners III: The Takeover (Scanner Force) () |
"
Scanners II features a weak script, poor acting and middling effects; Scanners III contains an even worse script, even worse acting and even worse effects."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Sep 21, 2013
|
|
1/4
|
4%
|
Paranoia (2013) |
"
Paranoia is so ineptly made that the ride home from the theater will be more suspenseful than anything that took place on the screen."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Aug 17, 2013
|
|
1/4
|
14%
|
R.I.P.D. (2013) |
"
Funeral services are already under way at the nation's multiplexes, so the easily entertained might want to pay their respects before this one gets buried by newer releases."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Jul 26, 2013
|
|
1/4
|
14%
|
A Good Day To Die Hard (2013) |
"
Unbelievably, this great character has made a complete transformation from a likable, sympathetic Everyman in 1988 to an arrogant, insufferable jerk in 2013."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Feb 16, 2013
|
|
1/4
|
4%
|
Movie 43 (2013) |
"
If approached by friends to see this disaster, feel free to repeat what a wise George Clooney reportedly said when asked by its producers to take part: "No ****ing way.""
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Feb 1, 2013
|
|
1/4
|
25%
|
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) |
"
4 stars for bad-movie buffs, 1 star for the rest of humanity."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Dec 22, 2012
|
|
1/4
|
12%
|
Batman & Robin (1997) |
"
I've seen colonic X-rays more visually appealing than what Schumacher throws up on the screen."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Oct 4, 2012
|
|
1/4
|
——
|
Fugitive Alien (1987) |
"
Deadly dull."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Aug 8, 2012
|
|
1/4
|
——
|
Samson Vs. The Vampire Women () |
"
Santo and Blue Demon Against the Monsters and Santo vs. Frankenstein's Daughter were just two of the Mexican wrestler's many feature productions, yet among stateside bad-movie buffs, Samson vs. the Vampire Women is arguably his most recognizable work."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Aug 8, 2012
|
|
1/4
|
34%
|
Battleship (2012) |
"
Could be mistaken for a Transformers sequel except it's missing Shia LaBeouf's distinctive hairdo ... To tag it a worthy popcorn flick is the equivalent of spitting in the faces of Spielberg, Zemeckis or anybody who used to expertly do this sort of thing."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted May 19, 2012
|
|
1/4
|
——
|
Mimic 3 - Sentinel (2003) |
"
Illogical and sloppily constructed, and not even a villainous role for Lance Henriksen can elevate it."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted May 8, 2012
|
|
1/4
|
38%
|
Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie (2012) |
"
About as funny as discovering that you have cancer, AIDS and a brain tumor all on the same day."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Mar 30, 2012
|
|
1/4
|
11%
|
Atlas Shrugged: Part I (2011) |
"
To quote: 'The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often [leads] to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Jan 16, 2012
|
|
1/4
|
3%
|
Passion Play (2011) |
"
This often risible mood piece stars Megan Fox as a circus sideshow attraction who has actual angel wings growing out of her back. Rather than doing the sensible thing and joining the X-Men, she instead decides to make out with Mickey Rourke. Go figure."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Jan 16, 2012
|
|
1/4
|
12%
|
I Melt with You (2011) |
"
Former porn star Sasha Grey turns up in a small role, and I daresay that the blunt, single-syllable scripts employed in her erotic films were Oscar-worthy compared to this drivel."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Jan 16, 2012
|
|
1/4
|
3%
|
Jack and Jill (2011) |
"
A clear sign that Sandler and director Dennis Dugan aren't even trying anymore, safe in the knowledge that fans will emulate Divine in John Waters' Pink Flamingos and chow down on whatever dog **** is presented to them."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Nov 12, 2011
|
|
1/4
|
24%
|
The Three Musketeers (2011) |
"
Break out those No. 2 pencils, cuz it's time for a pop quiz. Which line of dialogue is NOT spoken in the latest screen adaptation of The Three Musketeers?"
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Oct 22, 2011
|
|
1/4
|
24%
|
Conan the Barbarian (2011) |
"
A humorless endurance test from the director who previously desecrated horror staples both good (The Texas Chain Saw Massacre) and bad (Friday the 13th) with so-what? remakes, this Conan fails in practically every respect."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Aug 26, 2011
|
|
1/4
|
14%
|
Zookeeper (2011) |
"
Leave it to Zoolander to have the foresight to succinctly sum up Zookeeper. In that 2001 comedy, Owen Wilson's Hansel blares, "Taste my pain, b****!" - a declaration that Kevin James was directing at me for the duration of this ghastly film's 100 minutes."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Jul 9, 2011
|
|
1/4
|
36%
|
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) |
"
Bay's fascistic tendencies aren't quite as pronounced as in the last installment, but there isn't anything this man won't do for the sake of arousing himself."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Jul 2, 2011
|
|
1/4
|
48%
|
Mr. Popper's Penguins (2011) |
"
Putrid, puerile and painful."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Jun 18, 2011
|
|
1/4
|
15%
|
Something Borrowed (2011) |
"
I suspect most of us would cross a crowded highway barefoot and bleeding to avoid any contact whatsoever with the insufferable twits populating this gruesome rom-com."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted May 7, 2011
|
|
1/4
|
27%
|
Your Highness (2011) |
"
God almighty, this is one awful movie."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Apr 15, 2011
|
|
1/4
|
9%
|
My Soul to Take (2010) |
"
The best thing about My Soul to Take is that it may force folks to revisit Wes Craven's past works and finally realize that he's always been nothing more than a hack in the horror field, a Uwe Boll with a better sense of where to place the camera."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Oct 22, 2010
|
|
1/4
|
33%
|
Starcrash (1979) |
"
This isn't a bad movie like The Switch or Grown Ups, where even once is too much; this is the type to be savored again and again, like a patented Ed Wood mess-terpiece."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Sep 13, 2010
|
|
1/4
|
4%
|
Vampires Suck (2010) |
"
While I've seen worse movies than Vampires Suck this year, I doubt I'll see another as lazily constructed -- even a homemade YouTube video capturing a dog chasing its own tail displays more effort and imagination than what passes for entertainment here."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Aug 21, 2010
|
|
1/4
|
51%
|
The Switch (2010) |
"
Did none of the filmmakers -- or the (mostly women) viewers at my screening -- not realize that Wally's action of implanting his unwanted sperm into Kassie qualifies as a form of rape? We're supposed to cheer Wally on -- shouldn't he be going to jail?"
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Aug 21, 2010
|
|
1/4
|
10%
|
Grown Ups (2010) |
"
Director Dennis Dugan is to screen comedy what the atomic bomb was to Nagasaki."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Jun 26, 2010
|
|
1/4
|
11%
|
Killers (2010) |
"
Just how wretched an actress is Katherine Heigl? Ashton Kutcher has delivered his own share of poor performances, yet whenever he's asked to share a scene with Heigl, he comes across like Laurence Olivier by comparison."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Jun 11, 2010
|
|
1/4
|
15%
|
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) |
"
The bottom line is that it isn't just Elm Street that's affected; you'll find a nightmare on any street that's housing a theater with the misfortune to be playing this monstrosity."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted May 7, 2010
|
|
1/4
|
19%
|
The Back-up Plan (2010) |
"
This isn't a motion picture so much as it's a new form of Chinese water torture."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Apr 30, 2010
|
|
1/4
|
13%
|
The Bounty Hunter (2010) |
"
Gerard Butler once again demonstrates that his comedic instincts are roughly on par with those of a great white shark."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Mar 19, 2010
|
|
1/4
|
28%
|
Remember Me (2010) |
"
The ill-conceived climax will strike the easily manipulated as deep but will cause most discerning viewers to recognize it for a cheap trick that should come with some sort of trigger warning before it unfolds."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Mar 12, 2010
|
|
1/4
|
5%
|
Old Dogs (2009) |
"
The movie is never remotely funny, but it excels at being creepy."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Dec 16, 2009
|
|
1/4
|
13%
|
The Ugly Truth (2009) |
"
Look, it's only fair. If impressionable frat boys can enjoy The Hangover this summer and impressionable teenagers can enjoy Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, then why not give impressionable women their own imbecilic film?"
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Jul 24, 2009
|
|
1/4
|
20%
|
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) |
"
A perfectly dreadful sequel that's the filmic equivalent of a 150-minute waterboarding session."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Jun 26, 2009
|
|
1/4
|
14%
|
Year One (2009) |
"
Far too witless to even be considered distasteful or disturbing -- it's more like watching with pity as a dorky fifth-grader tries to shock adults with a string of profanity."
—
Creative Loafing
Posted Jun 23, 2009
|
