Critics » Simon Weaving » Rotten
Simon Weaving

Simon Weaving

Agrees with the Tomatometer 77% of the time.

Biography:
Simon grew up all over the place and worked in the theatre before attending Film School. He's made a few award winning short films and is currently completing a PhD in film noir.
Publications:
Screenwize
Critics' Group:
Film Critics Circle of Australia
Total Reviews:
185
Location:
Australia

Worst Reviewed Films

Showing 1 - 50 of 185
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
0.5/5 14% Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (2010) " A dog's breakfast." — Screenwize
Posted Sep 16, 2010
1/5 11% The Benchwarmers (2006) " In the last line of the film, as the final credits thankfully disappear, Richie casually says "that was a waste of time wasn't it?" Yes. Definitely." — Screenwize
Posted Oct 10, 2009
1.5/5 44% American Reunion (2012) " Sitting somewhere between nostalgia and limp sex romp, this is for fans only - squeezing a few more dollars out of the American Pie franchise with plenty of reminiscing, bland titillation and bad behaviour. " — Screenwize
Posted Apr 5, 2012
1.5/5 12% The Darkest Hour (2011) " Uninspiring and insipid, this contemporary take on the zombie genre sees a group of gorgeous twenty somethings trapped in Moscow trying desperately to get away from an endless attack launched by nasty id-like blobs of energy." — Screenwize
Posted Apr 3, 2012
1.5/5 27% The Sorcerer and the White Snake (2013) " With the mushometer maxed out, and a score that starts on overdrive and heads for overbearing, this ridiculously melodramatic tale of forbidden love tries to bury its narrative flaws with a colourful coating of CGI - but ends up a shiny glutinous mess." — Screenwize
Posted Sep 29, 2011
1.5/5 49% The Losers (2010) " A ludicrously flawed, over-saturated, B-grade, hyper-action flick that sees a group of ex-CIA operatives getting revenge on a crazed man with a nuclear device. Beware of casual destruction and Gen-Y coolness. " — Screenwize
Posted May 27, 2010
1.5/5 38% Saw VI (2009) " No longer just gruesome but also morally bloodied, this franchise about games of death aimed at those who need to understand the value of life - grinds along, wringing out whatever cash is left in the original idea." — Screenwize
Posted Oct 23, 2009
1.5/5 26% Land of the Lost (2009) " Somewhere in a distant corner of the near infinite universe there must be a life form that finds Will Ferrell funny. Come and take him. Please." — Screenwize
Posted Jun 11, 2009
2/5 52% Jack the Giant Slayer (2013) " The cast seem stilted, even a bit surprised, to find themselves in the fictitious land of Cloister, dressed in panto regalia with dreadful hair-dos, no doubt under orders to deliver their lines with a touch of deliberate theatricality." — Screenwize
Posted Apr 23, 2013
2/5 0% Blinder () " This story of AFL, mateship and sex scandal is let down by a clunky screenplay and some misguided morality despite the presence of Jack Thompson and an enthusiastic cast of talented young Australian actors. " — Screenwize
Posted Mar 11, 2013
2/5 2% One for the Money (2012) " Light and fluffy as a cupcake, Katherine Heigl's many talents are truly wasted in this story based on the first of eighteen best-selling Stephanie Plum novels. " — Screenwize
Posted Apr 3, 2012
2/5 11% Gone (2012) " A psychological thriller lacking in both psychological complexity and thrills." — Screenwize
Posted Apr 2, 2012
2/5 6% The Devil Inside (2012) " Despite a clever - if not particularly original - idea, this pseudo-documentary horror movie is let down by an immensely frustrating ending and some less than convincing performances." — Screenwize
Posted Apr 2, 2012
2/5 50% The Rum Diary (2011) " Feels like its been squeezed out of a tube rather than shot out of a canon." — Screenwize
Posted Apr 2, 2012
2/5 26% Wrath of the Titans (2012) " It's a fathers-and-sons affair as epic music, computer-generated destruction and bad one liners combine to provide a sequel of similar style and standard to predecessor - Clash of the Titans." — Screenwize
Posted Apr 2, 2012
2/5 70% The Flying Swords of Dragon Gate (2012) " A disappointing martial arts fable with Jet Li spinning and leaping to avoid the swords of powerful Eunuchs and nasty treasure hunters at the famous Dragon Gate Inn" — Screenwize
Posted Dec 15, 2011
2/5 83% Warrior (2011) " This tale of two brothers competing in a mixed martial arts contest is gritty, laboured and totally devoid of suspense or surprise, despite the best efforts of actors Tom Hardy and Joel Edgerton. " — Screenwize
Posted Nov 24, 2011
2/5 54% The Inbetweeners (2012) " Crude slapstick and off-colour humour accompany four 18 year-old London lads as they head for Crete in search of girls. Based on the TV sit-com of the same name, everyone but fans will find this quickly tiresome." — Screenwize
Posted Nov 24, 2011
2/5 73% The Adjustment Bureau (2011) " With the exception of a few cute lines from Emily Blunt, it's a bureaucratically grey and decidedly empty tale about very little." — Screenwize
Posted Mar 3, 2011
2/5 43% Faster (2010) " A soulless revenge movie where the uber-slick, uber-hackneyed design takes precedence over story, character and theme may stir a few looking for a flick with fast cars, slow men and the rule of the gun, but it's mostly laborious and often ludicrous. " — Screenwize
Posted Feb 3, 2011
2/5 41% 44 Inch Chest (2010) " A verbose exercise in profanity that wastes the talent of a bunch of fine actors who sit around and discuss how best to restore the bruised ego of one of their hardened gang. " — Screenwize
Posted Apr 27, 2010
2/5 68% My One and Only (2009) " A road-movie with a flat tire, this is a dull journey that follows the teenage George Hamilton as he and his mother set off to find a new life along Route 66. It's a lifeless comedy, long on trivial adventure and short on drama and energy." — Screenwize
Posted Mar 10, 2010
2/5 43% Dorian Gray (2009) " If it was Oscar Wilde who said that experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes, then this Dorian Gray is quite an experience!" — Screenwize
Posted Nov 12, 2009
2/5 29% The Final Destination (2009) " The final (really?) film in this lifeless franchise about the inevitability of death, which typically comes in the form of some grisly three-dimensional accident." — Screenwize
Posted Oct 14, 2009
2/5 48% My Sister's Keeper (2009) " What starts as an exploration of the ethics of organ-donation and genetic selection, rapidly disintegrates into a sloppy, unstructured, tear-jerking mess." — Screenwize
Posted Jul 30, 2009
2/5 14% Mirrors (2008) " Clunky dialogue sets up the film, unlikely backstory drives it along, and it all concludes in a ludicrous cataclysm of cinematic hyperbole." — Screenwize
Posted Apr 4, 2009
2/5 16% Max Payne (2008) " Based on a Finnish shoot-em up video game, Max Payne is all style and little story, cheerless detective Max (Mark Wahlberg) drifting through a washed out and snowy New York in search of his wife's killer." — Screenwize
Posted Mar 24, 2009
2/5 20% Passengers (2008) " An uneven and lifeless film that shifts from saccharine romance to supernatural thriller as Anne Hathaway helps a handful of survivors of a plane crash deal with the strange effects of their trauma." — Screenwize
Posted Mar 21, 2009
2.5/5 58% Snitch (2013) " An unbelievable tale of a good dad who has to work with the bad guys to save his son from jail. " — Screenwize
Posted May 14, 2013
2.5/5 55% The Company You Keep (2013) " You may be in the company of an all-star cast, but this is a run-of-the-mill affair with few surprises." — Screenwize
Posted Apr 23, 2013
2.5/5 59% The Last Stand (2013) " Mindless, dumb fun as Arnie grunts a few one liners and tries to terminate an escaped drug lord who's in a fast car and heading for freedom." — Screenwize
Posted Feb 20, 2013
2.5/5 20% The Lucky One (2012) " You get just what you'd expect from this Nicolas Sparks romance - good-looking people, ever so soft lighting, and music just tender enough to stir your soul while you watch the inevitability of soul mates finding true love." — Screenwize
Posted Apr 19, 2012
2.5/5 50% Fighting Fear () " A documentary that reaffirms the hard-drinking, hard-partying, hard-fighting values of good old fashioned mateship, as Bra Boys director Macario De Souza follows the friendship of two friends - one a Big Wave Surfer and the other a cage-fighter." — Screenwize
Posted Nov 24, 2011
2.5/5 60% Real Steel (2011) " A well made but instantly forgettable robot-boxing movie that dishes out clichĂ©s blow-by-blow for its 12-year-old-boy target audience. " — Screenwize
Posted Oct 6, 2011
2.5/5 43% From Time to Time (2012) " This family film - that mixes Regency ghosts and a rambling, secret-filled mansion - lacks oomph and charm despite its top shelf cast, including Maggie Smith and Timothy Spall." — Screenwize
Posted Jul 7, 2011
2.5/5 11% Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs Evil (2011) " A crazed, attention-deficit disordered blitz of one-liners that sees Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf chase evil fairy tale characters through a mad world in search of a secret truffle cake recipe." — Screenwize
Posted May 5, 2011
2.5/5 83% Potiche (2011) " A fluffy soufflĂ© starring two of the biggest names in French cinema, Potiche is dated and theatrical but provides a few gentle laughs for those who don't mind frothy French farce." — Screenwize
Posted May 5, 2011
2.5/5 83% The Lincoln Lawyer (2011) " This slick but uncharismatic cat-and-mouse game between maverick lawyer and rich client, is courtroom drama far too fascinated by its own sense of cool to be anything more than easy on the mind television" — Screenwize
Posted Mar 31, 2011
2.5/5 47% Hereafter (2010) " This melancholy tale - not so much about the afterlife as about its teasingly morbid lure on three people in different countries - is far from director Clint Eastwood's best, and comes with a particularly dull performance from Matt Damon. " — Screenwize
Posted Feb 10, 2011
2.5/5 74% Shaolin (2011) " Evil warlords and nifty monks battle it out physically and spiritually in this epic and histrionic tale of how the most nasty of men can find enlightenment. " — Screenwize
Posted Jan 27, 2011
2.5/5 53% Agora (2010) " Ambitious, sprawling and melodramatic, this sword-and-sandal epic lacks subtlety and struggles to provide much charm - ultimately dissolving into a rather obvious morality tale about the rise of fundamentalism. " — Screenwize
Posted Jan 12, 2011
2.5/5 69% Heartbreaker (L'Arnacoeur) (2010) " A light and fluffy internationalised French rom-com, stripped of any quirkiness and with little heat generated between Vanessa Paradis and Roman Duris as romantic leads. " — Screenwize
Posted Dec 15, 2010
2.5/5 —— 14 Blades () " Over the top, over saturated and overly melodramatic, this wuxia action adventure follows an outlawed swordsman in Ancient China who has to save the Emperor, fight off deadly assassins and restore his dignity. " — Screenwize
Posted Dec 1, 2010
2.5/5 73% The Last Exorcism (2010) " A perfectly acceptable, rather low key addition to the horror-mockumentary genre, following a fraudulent Pastor who's decided to allow a camera crew to film one last job extracting the devil from an innocent girl. " — Screenwize
Posted Nov 25, 2010
2.5/5 55% Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010) " Oliver Stone's grandiose and sprawling sequel to Wall Street - a much anticipated film that glitters with the spoils of greed but - perhaps like money itself - doesn't really satisfy. " — Screenwize
Posted Sep 23, 2010
2.5/5 45% Creation (2010) " Jon Amiel's film about Charles Darwin is a poorly structured and frequently drab affair focused on Darwin's daughter Annie, with occasional bursts of energy thanks to the wildlife cinematography and bouts of Victorian bonhomie. " — Screenwize
Posted Jul 15, 2010
2.5/5 42% The Rebound (2009) " An utterly predictable entrant in the Cougedy genre sees a yummy-mummy (Zeta-Jones) and her 25 year-old babysitter (Bartha) tumble into love after she takes her two young children to a new life in New York." — Screenwize
Posted Mar 18, 2010
2.5/5 68% Shutter Island (2010) " You can almost feel Martin Scorsese straining to create some magic, given the pounding music, ominous cinematography, jaw-clenching close-up performances and overblown gothic flashbacks." — Screenwize
Posted Feb 19, 2010
2.5/5 57% 9 (2009) " Grown from a superb 10-minute animation, this feature length version runs out of steam despite its stunning visual design." — Screenwize
Posted Dec 10, 2009
2.5/5 78% The Informant! (2009) " Director Steven Soderbergh is desperate to make us laugh, but can only make Matt Damon podgy and bland in this underwhelming and unfunny tale of deception and whistleblowers in the food industry." — Screenwize
Posted Dec 3, 2009
Showing 1 - 50 of 185
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