Steve Newton

Steve Newton

Agrees with the Tomatometer 74% of the time.

Publications:
Georgia Straight
Total Reviews:
293

Listing Of All Reviews & Articles

Showing 1 - 50 of 293
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
.5/5 9% A Haunted House 2 (2014) " I almost laughed when Wayans pulled out a pair of nunchucks to stupidly battle a swarm of dark moths and nunchucked himself in the nuts." — Georgia Straight
Posted Apr 18, 2014
4/5 67% Trailer Park Boys: Don't Legalize It (2014) " ...a crazed road trip to Chuckleville." — Georgia Straight
Posted Apr 15, 2014
2/5 72% Oculus (2014) " After viewing Oculus I'm gonna agree with my boy that haunted-mirror movies suck-just like the last one I saw, 2008's Mirrors." — Georgia Straight
Posted Apr 9, 2014
4.5/5 85% In Fear (2014) " A masterful example of lean 'n' mean outdoor nightmare-making that resonates with the same power of Wolf Creek, but without all the torture and gore." — Georgia Straight
Posted Mar 28, 2014
1.5/5 43% Pet Sematary (1989) " Without any real scares, there's no reason at all for this movie to exist." — Georgia Straight
Posted Mar 3, 2014
3.5/5 68% Paranormal Activity 3 (2011) " The latest installment isn't quite as terrifying as the second, but it's still extremely creepy and engrossing and everything you'd want in a 21st-century nightmare maker." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 28, 2014
4/5 72% Stuck (2008) " Stuck is not only the most entertaining horror flick to hit North American theatres this year, it's arguably the top Canadian shocker of all time." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 22, 2014
3/5 35% Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990) " Horror fans-particularly those who enjoy the Tales From the Darkside TV show-should be content with this two-out-of-three." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 22, 2014
3/5 22% The First Power (1990) " When you get right down to it, make-up and masks aren't nearly as scary as a human countenance hiding a black heart." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 20, 2014
2/5 35% Nightbreed (1990) " The only really strong aspect of Nightbreed is the 'breed itself-there are some truly bizarre and imaginative monstrosities on display." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 19, 2014
1.5/5 38% Night of the Demons (1988) " It's hardly worth seven bucks to see Linnea Quigley, in the flick's wildest scene, thrust a lipstick into her own breast." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 19, 2014
3.5/5 33% A Nightmare on Elm Street 5 - The Dream Child (1989) " Don't wait for this one to come out on video-see it in the theatre and sit close to the screen. Roller coasters are always better at the front." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 19, 2014
1.5/5 9% Friday the 13th Part VIII - Jason Takes Manhattan (1989) " The makers of the Friday films wouldn't even consider stopping the series till they hit that magic number: Part XIII." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 19, 2014
2.5/5 83% They Live (1988) " Carpenter should stick to what he's good at-scaring folks-and leave the political satire to Spitting Image." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 19, 2014
3/5 83% Dead Ringers (1988) " In a weird variation of the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde theme, the Mantles are drawn relentlessly and frighteningly towards an inevitable and appalling fate." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 18, 2014
2.5/5 54% Alien Nation (1988) " With the sci-fi and horror aspects toned down, Alien Nation becomes little more than a cop show with a twist-and one that will satisfy only the most gullible of action fans." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 18, 2014
3/5 59% The Lair of the White Worm (1988) " A totally strange, gore-drenched horror/comedy about ancient pagan rituals that leaves you with only one certain thought in your head: that Ken Russell is one very bent fellow." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 14, 2014
4/5 69% Child's Play (1988) " With equal portions of frolic and fear, Child's Play is a hilarious hair-raiser that is highly recommended for horror fans." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 14, 2014
2.5/5 49% RoboCop (2014) " All the eye-popping gadgetry in the world can't forgive the fact that RoboCop is rife with filler and drags on way too long." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 12, 2014
0/5 —— Watchers (1988) " Watchers is a real mess, and it's only a couple of steps up from the dismal Maximum Overdrive, the last Stephen King story to be slaughtered on the screen. " — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 10, 2014
3.5/5 36% The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) " It's R. Lee Ermey of Full Metal Jacket fame who deserves most of the credit for this remake earning its mutilated thumbs-up." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 9, 2014
1/5 4% House of the Dead (2003) " The novelty of seeing rampaging zombies get shot in the head wears off after 40 minutes or so. " — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 9, 2014
.5/5 12% Cold Creek Manor (2003) " There are no surprises at all in this totally predictable mistake of a movie." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 9, 2014
2.5/5 63% Cabin Fever (2002) " If you take away the shocking makeup-effects work of KNB EFX Inc. there's not much there at all." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 9, 2014
1/5 8% The Order (The Sin Eater) (2003) " You'll be wishing you'd gotten your satanic-flick fix by staying home and renting The Omen." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 9, 2014
2/5 23% Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003) " Of course, the thing doesn't actually die. It just folds up its face and hibernates for another 23 years, or at least until the inevitable Jeepers Creepers 3: More Goo for You." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 9, 2014
1.5/5 15% Gothika (2003) " The same story was told much more skillfully-and with a lot more scares-three years back, when it was called What Lies Beneath." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 9, 2014
0/5 41% Freddy vs. Jason (2003) " You'll shake your head in disbelief at the nonsensical plot machinations and idiotic character motivations required to bring the two terror titans together." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 9, 2014
2.5/5 30% Dreamcatcher (2003) " As soon as Morgan Freeman's alien hunter/military commander turns up, a riveting movie starts morphing into a predictable villain-on-the-warpath action flick." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 9, 2014
3/5 41% Wrong Turn (2003) " This horror flick about young campers stalked and slaughtered by gruesome backwoods barbarians is a fairly decent crossbreeding of Friday the 13th and Deliverance." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 9, 2014
2/5 62% Identity (2003) " My eyeballs were doing some serious rolling of their own at the general ineptitude of this failed mating of Friday the 13th and Ten Little Indians. " — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 9, 2014
3.5/5 19% House of 1000 Corpses (2003) " This in-your-face homage to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is the most unrelentingly sadistic flick to come out of Hollywood in quite some time." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 9, 2014
2/5 64% Willard (2003) " The vengeance-driven plot creeps along at a snail's pace, and all the teeth-gnashing and cheek-quivering in the world-courtesy of Glover's demented Willard Stiles-cannot save the day." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 9, 2014
3/5 48% Final Destination 2 (2003) " Just the fact that it manages to keep the viewer involved despite the plot's general ridiculousness makes it the most effective Vancouver-shot horror flick in years. " — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 9, 2014
1/5 9% Darkness Falls (2003) " It's only slightly more enjoyable than having army ants gnaw at your privates." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 8, 2014
1/5 38% They (2002) " How someone who could helm a film as relentlessly creepy and suspenseful as The Hitcher could deliver a dud like They is beyond me." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 8, 2014
1/5 14% Ghost Ship (2002) " The folks at Hollywood's Dark Castle Entertainment are polluting the high seas with this dead-in-the-water combo of The Shining and Titanic. " — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 8, 2014
1.5/5 12% Halloween - Resurrection (2002) " Myers shows up and slaughters almost everyone until martial-artist Harris and Sara Moyer team up to shock him in the nuts and say things like: "Trick or treat, motherf***er!"" — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 8, 2014
4/5 40% Reign of Fire (2002) " Reign of Fire is one of the most intense and enjoyable monster flicks I've ever seen. " — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 8, 2014
1/5 3% fear dot com (FeardotCom) (2002) " I figured feardotcom was gonna be bad news when I saw the trailer and noticed it was promoted with the line "From the director of House on Haunted Hill". " — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 8, 2014
2.5/5 48% Eight Legged Freaks (2002) " What it lacks in scares, however, Eight Legged Freaks makes up for with gallons of gooey-green spider guts." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 8, 2014
0/5 20% Jason X (2002) " Whatever they paid Canadian horror auteur David Cronenberg to appear in this godforsaken mess, it wasn't enough. " — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 8, 2014
2/5 73% Frailty (2002) " Frailty is disturbing, all right, but then so is sticking needles in your eyes. And I wouldn't recommend either." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 8, 2014
2.5/5 83% The Others (2001) " It's obvious that AmenĂ¡bar is trying to subtly build layers of ghostly tension, but man, till it nears the climax, this movie crawls." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 8, 2014
2/5 33% Resident Evil (2002) " This routine video-game spinoff borrows heavily from James Cameron action flicks and George Romero zombie epics but doesn't do much else." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 8, 2014
1.5/5 17% Queen of the Damned (2002) " It's mainly an excuse for director Michael Rymer to unleash his arsenal of flashy, MTV-type visuals and Moulin Rouge costume designer Angus Strathie to play dress-up." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 8, 2014
1.5/5 53% The Mothman Prophecies (2002) " Faced with such an unlikely mishmash of unexplainable events, you've given up believing anything by the time the popcorn's gone." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 7, 2014
1/5 21% Bones (2001) " The bogus script doesn't leave anyone in the cast, including the usually impressive Pam Grier, much chance of a stellar performance." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 7, 2014
.5/5 14% Thirteen Ghosts (13 Ghosts) (2001) " A more fitting tribute to William Castle would have been to create a horror flick you could sit through without consistently squirming in abject loathing. " — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 7, 2014
1/5 7% The Forsaken (2001) " I've heard about cutting corners in the makeup-FX department, but isn't holding back on fangs a bit much?" — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 7, 2014
Showing 1 - 50 of 293
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