Critics » Steve Newton
Steve Newton

Steve Newton

Agrees with the Tomatometer 76% of the time.

Publications:
Georgia Straight
Total Reviews:
183

Listing Of All Reviews & Articles

Showing 1 - 50 of 183
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
3/5 78% Metallica Through the Never (2013) " The nonsensical subplot mainly serves as a surreal distraction from the kick-ass s*** going down on-stage, but the concert itself is so bulletproof that any overall damage is slight." — Georgia Straight
Posted Sep 25, 2013
.5/5 35% Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013) " It starts off lousy and goes downhill from there. I hereby pronounce it the worst horror flick of 2013. Next to Scary Movie 5, that is." — Georgia Straight
Posted Sep 12, 2013
2/5 60% Riddick (2013) " Even 80 minutes of this hokey macho hogwash would have been too much." — Georgia Straight
Posted Sep 4, 2013
2.5/5 75% You're Next (2013) " The film's transformation from bleeding-out grim to blender-on-the-head silly is pretty hard to take." — Georgia Straight
Posted Aug 21, 2013
3.5/5 83% Berberian Sound Studio (2013) " ...stylishly creepy psycho-thriller that pays homage to the Italian horror scene of the '70s." — Georgia Straight
Posted Aug 7, 2013
2.5/5 86% The Conjuring (2013) " The poster for The Conjuring boasts "from the director of Saw and Insidious", which was a much wiser choice than "from the writers of The Reaping"." — Georgia Straight
Posted Jul 18, 2013
2.5/5 38% The Purge (2013) " The rest of the film is a checklist of predictable home-invasion antics rolled out in the name of heavy-handed socio-political commentary. " — Georgia Straight
Posted Jun 7, 2013
0/5 4% Scary Movie 5 (2013) " The scariest thing about Scary Movie 5 is that it actually made me chortle less than some of the silly horror flicks it's trying to spoof!" — Georgia Straight
Posted Apr 12, 2013
3/5 62% Evil Dead (2013) " In memory of beloved horror-booster Roger Ebert I'm gonna give it one hideously mangled tongues-up." — Georgia Straight
Posted Apr 5, 2013
3.5/5 44% The Call (2013) " The Call does falter near the end when some scary-movie cliches sneak in, but things are just so damn enthralling up until then that its winning sheen remains mostly untarnished." — Georgia Straight
Posted Mar 15, 2013
3.5/5 69% Stoker (2013) " Stoker is a visually engrossing portrait of upper-class evil and psychosexual suspense that leaves you with a lingering case of the creeps." — Georgia Straight
Posted Mar 14, 2013
3/5 73% The Last Exorcism (2010) " A fairly absorbing pseudo-documentary demonic-possession flick with all the bodily contortions and jittery camerawork you'd expect." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 26, 2013
2/5 24% Paranormal Activity 4 (2012) " The fourth entry in the hugely successful film series just can't match the others in the nightmare-making department." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 26, 2013
1/5 37% Dark Skies (2013) " Any quote that uses the adjective 'terrifying' doesn't belong within a billion light years of a lame-ass flick like Dark Skies. " — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 22, 2013
4/5 50% The Hills Have Eyes (2006) " On the strength of their 2003 slasher flick, High Tension, Craven hired director-writer Alexandre Aja and writer Grégory Levasseur, and the result is one of the most exhilarating, intense, and engrossing Hollywood shockers ever made." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 16, 2013
1/5 —— The Marsh (2007) " When will 21st-century horror makers learn that volume, in and of itself, isn't scary? Curses on the sound-effects geek who invented the grating metallic shriek." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 16, 2013
2.5/5 77% Cloverfield (2008) " Imagine if somebody came up to you, grabbed your head, and jiggled it around for 80 minutes. Now imagine they did that while you were trying to watch a movie about a monster attacking New York City." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 16, 2013
1/5 22% The Eye (2008) " Brothers Danny and Oxide Pang's unnerving spook show from 2002 has been translated into a clunky, aimless interpretation that leaves you with just one overpowering thought: are Jessica Alba's lips for real?" — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 16, 2013
1/5 7% Shutter (2008) " Shutter, which attempts to do for cameras what The Ring did for videocassettes, what Pulse did for computers, and what The Grudge did for grudges." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 16, 2013
0/5 8% Prom Night (2008) " Thankfully, Prom Night's predictable ending doesn't suggest a remake of the original's 1987 sequel, Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2. No kidding, that's what it was called." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 16, 2013
1/5 32% The X-Files: I Want to Believe (The X Files 2) (2008) " There was a lot of secrecy surrounding the new X-Files movie... But the film's big secret is out now: it sucks." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
.5/5 14% Mirrors (2008) " Even the most forgiving fans of supernatural horror will balk at Mirrors' cookie-cutter characterizations, predictable shocks, and ridiculous, punishing plot." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
2.5/5 58% Quarantine (2008) " I don't care how dedicated a TV journalist you are: when a rabid, shrieking hellion lunges for your neck, teeth a-gnashin', it's time to hit the standby button and defend yourself." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
4/5 72% Stuck (2008) " Stuck is a character-driven, low-budget surprise that leaps out of nowhere-Saint John, New Brunswick, actually-and grabs your attention like an ice pick to the eye." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
1.5/5 12% Saw V (2008) " The best thing about this-and any-Saw film is the sick production design. Whoever's responsible for creating these disgustingly grungy chambers of death deserves an Oscar for scuzziness." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
1/5 3% The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008) " A contemptible cross between To The Devil a Daughter and a dark version of High School Musical (without the music)." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
1/5 49% Twilight (2008) " Unless you're a 14-year-old girl who gets all giddy at the thought of cute boys and first love, steer clear of Thirteen director Catherine Hardwicke's anemic adaptation." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
3/5 34% Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008) " The lowbrow and highfalutin collide in an orgy of upscale disembowelment as director Darren Lynn Bousman gives uneasy birth to the gore opera. " — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
0/5 11% The Unborn (2009) " I kept hoping Oldman would revert to his Sid & Nancy punk persona and kick the little freak in the yarbles like some pain-deserving Springsteen fan, but no such luck." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
1/5 31% The Uninvited (2009) " The only genuinely startling moments come via the deafening sound effects that accompany a large roast hitting the floor and Anna scraping metal hangers along a clothing rack. " — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
1.5/5 25% Friday the 13th (2009) " Five nauseating 20-somethings head out to Camp Crystal Lake to guzzle Pabst Blue Ribbon and have loud tent sex, but Jason roasts one of them like a weenie and says howdy to everyone else with his trusty machete. And that's just the intro!" — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
2.5/5 19% Obsessed (2009) " Fans of the Final Destination flicks should enjoy seeing how Larter's horror roots are revisited in the over-the-top climax of this trashy exercise in glossy B-movie-making." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
0/5 55% Orphan (2009) " Dump a murderous psycho brat with a corny Russian accent into that troubled mix and you've got a real horror show on your hands. But not a good one." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
2.5/5 21% H2: Halloween II (2009) " Relentlessly disturbing though it is, the movie is not particularly frightening." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
.5/5 29% The Final Destination (2009) " The Final Destination is a catastrophe in and of itself." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
.5/5 22% Sorority Row (2009) " By the time the killer's identity is finally revealed you'll be amazed at how screenwriters make big bucks penning lines like, "Who the hell lit the house on fire? S---!"" — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
.5/5 12% The Stepfather (2009) " What a shame that the remake fell into the unwieldy hands of the same jokers responsible for last year's execrable Prom Night redo." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
1/5 44% The Box (2009) " What they end up deciding sets in slothlike motion a convoluted string of ludicrous events that will take writer-director Richard Kelly years to live down." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
2.5/5 67% Daybreakers (2010) " Around here Daybreakers' clever streak runs out and the previously witty, refreshing film becomes a predictable action romp that's big on over-the-top gore but lacking in everything else." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
1/5 20% Legion (2010) " An utterly ludicrous entry in the biblical-horror subgenre." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
4/5 71% The Crazies (2010) " Activism-minded moviegoers will welcome the second coming of Romero's cautionary tale, but they'll have to sit through one hell of a nasty pitchfork scene to get the message." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
4/5 61% Frozen (2010) " Green avoids Hatchet's corny clichés and totally redeems himself with a harrowing portrait of humans at the mercy of the great outdoors." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
1/5 15% A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) " This Elm Street reeks of a rushed cash-grab, as even the most reliable of clichéd shocks fail to register on the fright-o-meter. " — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
0/5 74% Splice (2010) " Who would have thought talent of that calibre would combine to create such a catastrophic stinker." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
3/5 12% Jonah Hex (2010) " It's popcorn-chomping fun rooting for the soul-stripped Hex as he battles his way toward redemption and sweet, sweet payback. " — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
2.5/5 64% Predators (2010) " Predators never overcomes the fatal miscasting of Brody as the group's take-charge, tough-guy leader. " — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
2/5 16% The Last Exorcism Part II (2013) " The avian-suicide thing wasn't that scary when we saw it last week in Dark Skies." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
4.5/5 72% Machete (2010) " Machete is the coolest revenge-driven, gore-splattered, star-studded Mexploitation flick ever!" — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
1.5/5 23% Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010) " Resident Evil: Afterlife sees Anderson returning to cinematic dreck with a stunningly tedious exercise in 3-D CGI wankery." — Georgia Straight
Posted Feb 15, 2013
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