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10,000 B.C. Reviews

Ben Kenigsberg
Time Out
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Full Review Source: Time Out | Original Score: 2/5

November 17, 2011
Richard Roeper
Ebert & Roeper
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It's a horrible movie.

March 17, 2008
Nigel Floyd
Time Out
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Like the lumbering mammoths, it is plodding and dull.

Full Review Source: Time Out | Original Score: 2/6

March 14, 2008
Lisa Schwarzbaum
Entertainment Weekly
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Neither grand enough to be impressive nor antic enough to be charming, the movie settles for bland and frantic, climaxing in a showdown among decadent pyramid builders.

Full Review Source: Entertainment Weekly | Original Score: D

March 12, 2008
Ann Hornaday
Washington Post
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One part Joseph Campbell hero quest, one part multi-culti morality tale, one part live-action Flintstones cartoon, 10,000 B.C. is finally every part just plain nuts.

Full Review Source: Washington Post

March 7, 2008
Peter Howell
Toronto Star
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This much-delayed film cries out for consideration for Worst CGI, Most Annoying Narrator, Lamest Dialogue and Dumbest Action Hero.

Full Review Source: Toronto Star | Original Score: 1/4

March 7, 2008
Claudia Puig
USA Today
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Even a cameo by Pauly Shore in Encino Man would liven up this bombastic bore.

Full Review Source: USA Today | Original Score: 1.5/4

March 7, 2008
Stephanie Zacharek
Salon.com
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10,000 BC would be much better if it allowed itself the freedom to be kitsch.

Full Review Source: Salon.com

March 7, 2008
Peter Travers
Rolling Stone
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The best acting comes from woolly mammoths, man-eating ostriches and a saber-toothed tiger -- and those babies are digital. It's the human actors who look fake.

| Original Score: 1/4

March 7, 2008
James Berardinelli
ReelViews
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10,000 B.C. isn't only brain-dead, it's completely dead. It's inert and without a heartbeat.

Full Review Source: ReelViews | Original Score: 1.5/4

March 7, 2008
Roger Moore
Orlando Sentinel
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Where's Raquel Welch in that fur bikini?

Full Review Source: Orlando Sentinel | Original Score: 2/5

March 7, 2008
Stephen Whitty
Newark Star-Ledger
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Yabba-dabba-don't.

Full Review Source: Newark Star-Ledger | Original Score: 1/4

March 7, 2008
Lou Lumenick
New York Post
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While the special effects are top notch... the humans are dull, the dialogue is ridiculous, and anyone expecting a repeat of the action in 300 is going to be sorely disappointed with this bloodless PG-13 adventure.

Full Review Source: New York Post | Original Score: 1/4

March 7, 2008
Joe Neumaier
New York Daily News
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The less said about historical accuracy, the better.

Full Review Source: New York Daily News | Original Score: 1/4

March 7, 2008
Kenneth Turan
Los Angeles Times
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Outrageous and outlandish, Emmerich's 10,000 BC is easy to mock, but it is so cheerfully shameless and terminally silly that you have to admire its effrontery and accept its creator... as a certified crackpot visionary.

Full Review Source: Los Angeles Times | Original Score: 3/5

March 7, 2008
Amy Biancolli
Houston Chronicle
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The mammoths are cool. The squealing killer ostriches, perhaps inspired by ancient phorusrhacid fossils, are idiotic but... okay, they're idiotic.

Full Review Source: Houston Chronicle | Original Score: 1/4

March 7, 2008
Liam Lacey
Globe and Mail
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If you thought 300 was silly, think of 10,000 BC as 33.333 times sillier.

Full Review Source: Globe and Mail | Original Score: 1.5/4

March 7, 2008
Tom Long
Detroit News
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Barney Rubble had a lot more charisma than anyone involved in this movie.

Full Review Source: Detroit News | Original Score: D

March 7, 2008
Tom Maurstad
Dallas Morning News
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You may be expecting a showcase of cutting-edge visuals -- isn't the appeal of the title the implicit promise of seeing a lost world re-created to presumably dazzling effect? But for the most part, it's just barren landscapes and people in animal skins.

Full Review Source: Dallas Morning News | Original Score: F

March 7, 2008
Peter Rainer
Christian Science Monitor
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It made me yearn to see Caveman again. At least that was intentionally funny.

Full Review Source: Christian Science Monitor | Original Score: C

March 7, 2008
Andrea Gronvall
Chicago Reader
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Overblown and stupefyingly dull.

Full Review Source: Chicago Reader

March 7, 2008
Ty Burr
Boston Globe
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[I] saith to you that I had a strangely good time, and whether that is from laughing at 10,000 B.C. or laughing with it I knoweth not, although I strongly suspect the former.

Full Review Source: Boston Globe | Original Score: 1/4

March 7, 2008
Carrie Rickey
Philadelphia Inquirer
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Would that Emmerich took as much care with his human characters as with inanimate objects and CGI animals.

Full Review Source: Philadelphia Inquirer | Original Score: 1.5/4

March 7, 2008
Colin Covert
Minneapolis Star Tribune
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In the realm of heroic historical loincloth adventures, 10,000 is much less than 300.

Full Review Source: Minneapolis Star Tribune | Original Score: 1.5/4

March 6, 2008
A.O. Scott
New York Times
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It's best not to think too hard about anything in 10,000 BC, a sublimely dunderheaded excursion into human prehistory.

Full Review Source: New York Times | Original Score: 1.5/5

March 6, 2008
Peter Hartlaub
San Francisco Chronicle
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While the movie is completely ridiculous, at least it's fun to think of all the high school students who are going to mistake this movie for an accurate historical record and get F's on their next pop quiz.

Full Review Source: San Francisco Chronicle | Original Score: 1/4

March 6, 2008
Keith Phipps
AV Club
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Emmerich knows how to fill the screen with spectacle, but not how to field-marshal it.

Full Review Source: AV Club | Original Score: C-

March 6, 2008
Kirk Honeycutt
Hollywood Reporter
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Digital imagery imagines a striking prehistoric world for these back-to-basics heroes, villains and raging beasts.

March 6, 2008
Jan Stuart
Newsday
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An epic adventure of such towering testosterone counts and ceaseless tedium, you can almost feel the hair growing on your chest as the bags collect beneath your eyes.

Full Review Source: Newsday | Original Score: 1/4

March 6, 2008
Dana Stevens
Slate
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Rather than taking the trouble to imagine what early civilization might have been like -- its culture, its language, its warfare, its family life -- the movie simply transposes a banal Hollywood epic into Paleolithic times.

Full Review Source: Slate

March 6, 2008
Christy Lemire
Associated Press
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A mix of vast CGI spectacle and small, silly moments, the prehistoric saga 10,000 BC is an epic in name only.

Full Review Source: Associated Press

March 6, 2008
Todd McCarthy
Variety
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Conventional where it should be bold and mild where it should be wild, 10,000 BC reps a missed opportunity to present an imaginative vision of a prehistoric moment.

Full Review Source: Variety

March 6, 2008
Michael Phillips
Chicago Tribune
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Sometimes you have a hankering for a slab of 10,000-year-old cheese. Here it is, on a cracker.

Full Review Source: Chicago Tribune | Original Score: 3/4

March 6, 2008
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