10,000 B.C. Reviews

Ben Kenigsberg
Time Out
Top Critic
November 17, 2011

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5
Richard Roeper
Ebert & Roeper
Top Critic
March 17, 2008

It's a horrible movie.

Nigel Floyd
Time Out
Top Critic
March 14, 2008

Like the lumbering mammoths, it is plodding and dull.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/6
Lisa Schwarzbaum
Entertainment Weekly
Top Critic
March 12, 2008

Neither grand enough to be impressive nor antic enough to be charming, the movie settles for bland and frantic, climaxing in a showdown among decadent pyramid builders.

Full Review | Original Score: D
Ann Hornaday
Washington Post
Top Critic
March 7, 2008

One part Joseph Campbell hero quest, one part multi-culti morality tale, one part live-action Flintstones cartoon, 10,000 B.C. is finally every part just plain nuts.

Peter Howell
Toronto Star
Top Critic
March 7, 2008

This much-delayed film cries out for consideration for Worst CGI, Most Annoying Narrator, Lamest Dialogue and Dumbest Action Hero.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
Claudia Puig
USA Today
Top Critic
March 7, 2008

Even a cameo by Pauly Shore in Encino Man would liven up this bombastic bore.

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4
Stephanie Zacharek
Salon.com
Top Critic
March 7, 2008

10,000 BC would be much better if it allowed itself the freedom to be kitsch.

Peter Travers
Rolling Stone
Top Critic
March 7, 2008

The best acting comes from woolly mammoths, man-eating ostriches and a saber-toothed tiger -- and those babies are digital. It's the human actors who look fake.

| Original Score: 1/4
James Berardinelli
ReelViews
Top Critic
March 7, 2008

10,000 B.C. isn't only brain-dead, it's completely dead. It's inert and without a heartbeat.

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4
Roger Moore
Orlando Sentinel
Top Critic
March 7, 2008

Where's Raquel Welch in that fur bikini?

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5
Stephen Whitty
Newark Star-Ledger
Top Critic
March 7, 2008

Yabba-dabba-don't.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
Lou Lumenick
New York Post
Top Critic
March 7, 2008

While the special effects are top notch... the humans are dull, the dialogue is ridiculous, and anyone expecting a repeat of the action in 300 is going to be sorely disappointed with this bloodless PG-13 adventure.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
Joe Neumaier
New York Daily News
Top Critic
March 7, 2008

The less said about historical accuracy, the better.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
Kenneth Turan
Los Angeles Times
Top Critic
March 7, 2008

Outrageous and outlandish, Emmerich's 10,000 BC is easy to mock, but it is so cheerfully shameless and terminally silly that you have to admire its effrontery and accept its creator... as a certified crackpot visionary.

Full Review | Original Score: 3/5
Amy Biancolli
Houston Chronicle
Top Critic
March 7, 2008

The mammoths are cool. The squealing killer ostriches, perhaps inspired by ancient phorusrhacid fossils, are idiotic but... okay, they're idiotic.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
Liam Lacey
Globe and Mail
Top Critic
March 7, 2008

If you thought 300 was silly, think of 10,000 BC as 33.333 times sillier.

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4
Tom Long
Detroit News
Top Critic
March 7, 2008

Barney Rubble had a lot more charisma than anyone involved in this movie.

Full Review | Original Score: D
Tom Maurstad
Dallas Morning News
Top Critic
March 7, 2008

You may be expecting a showcase of cutting-edge visuals -- isn't the appeal of the title the implicit promise of seeing a lost world re-created to presumably dazzling effect? But for the most part, it's just barren landscapes and people in animal skins.

Full Review | Original Score: F
Peter Rainer
Christian Science Monitor
Top Critic
March 7, 2008

It made me yearn to see Caveman again. At least that was intentionally funny.

Full Review | Original Score: C
Andrea Gronvall
Chicago Reader
Top Critic
March 7, 2008

Overblown and stupefyingly dull.

Ty Burr
Boston Globe
Top Critic
March 7, 2008

[I] saith to you that I had a strangely good time, and whether that is from laughing at 10,000 B.C. or laughing with it I knoweth not, although I strongly suspect the former.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
Carrie Rickey
Philadelphia Inquirer
Top Critic
March 7, 2008

Would that Emmerich took as much care with his human characters as with inanimate objects and CGI animals.

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4
Colin Covert
Minneapolis Star Tribune
Top Critic
March 6, 2008

In the realm of heroic historical loincloth adventures, 10,000 is much less than 300.

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4
A.O. Scott
New York Times
Top Critic
March 6, 2008

It's best not to think too hard about anything in 10,000 BC, a sublimely dunderheaded excursion into human prehistory.

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/5
Peter Hartlaub
San Francisco Chronicle
Top Critic
March 6, 2008

While the movie is completely ridiculous, at least it's fun to think of all the high school students who are going to mistake this movie for an accurate historical record and get F's on their next pop quiz.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
Keith Phipps
AV Club
Top Critic
March 6, 2008

Emmerich knows how to fill the screen with spectacle, but not how to field-marshal it.

Full Review | Original Score: C-
Kirk Honeycutt
Hollywood Reporter
Top Critic
March 6, 2008

Digital imagery imagines a striking prehistoric world for these back-to-basics heroes, villains and raging beasts.

Jan Stuart
Newsday
Top Critic
March 6, 2008

An epic adventure of such towering testosterone counts and ceaseless tedium, you can almost feel the hair growing on your chest as the bags collect beneath your eyes.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
Dana Stevens
Slate
Top Critic
March 6, 2008

Rather than taking the trouble to imagine what early civilization might have been like -- its culture, its language, its warfare, its family life -- the movie simply transposes a banal Hollywood epic into Paleolithic times.

Christy Lemire
Associated Press
Top Critic
March 6, 2008

A mix of vast CGI spectacle and small, silly moments, the prehistoric saga 10,000 BC is an epic in name only.

Todd McCarthy
Variety
Top Critic
March 6, 2008

Conventional where it should be bold and mild where it should be wild, 10,000 BC reps a missed opportunity to present an imaginative vision of a prehistoric moment.

Michael Phillips
Chicago Tribune
Top Critic
March 6, 2008

Sometimes you have a hankering for a slab of 10,000-year-old cheese. Here it is, on a cracker.

Full Review | Original Score: 3/4