How to Make a Monster (2001)
Critic Consensus: No consensus yet.
How to Make a Monster Trailers & Photos
as Laura Weaver
as Peter Drummond
as Faye Clayton
as Kid No.1
as Kid No.2
as Kid No.3
as Programmer No.1
as New Intern
as Laura's Assistant
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Critic Reviews for How to Make a Monster
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Audience Reviews for How to Make a Monster
Retarded actors with ridiculous storyline, to sum it up it's like a really bad episode of Tales from the Crypt. There seems to be no budget at all, the monster looks like a guy in a medieval costume. The ending is really bad, not watchable.
I feel like I just got done watching a 90 minute episode of Goosebumps but with cussing & other adult stuff thrown in.If you like seriously bad movies then youll like How To Make A Monster
I don't know why exactly, but, this is one of my favorite B movies of all time. Probably because it's so regoddamndiculous. It's more than that though. I will try to explain.
This movie is about three game programmers who have only one month to finish a game. Whoever makes the game "scary" will get a million dollar bonus. So of course everyone's first goal is to get the bonus and finishing the game takes a back seat. Things turn ugly after an electrical storm causes a power outage and they have to figure out who is going to stay behind and restore the backup copy of the game.
Man oh man I like this movie. I think I saw it twice on TV and every time I saw it I was blown away at how idiotic the writing is. The writer knows absolutely nothing about technology and yet he chose to write a movie about video game programmers and a killer video game monster. The result is nothing short of a tech junkie catastrophe of epic proportions.
Here are some quotes.
"Looks like a power surge fried most of the IC chips on the motherboard." -- spoken by Sol
"The combination of overloads must've had a devastating effect on the mainframe causing a complete inverse of code" -- spoken by Bug as his explanation for what is happening
"The ram board is connected to the 3D board. The 3D board is connected to the SCSI. The SCSI is connected to the what? ... To the red wire." -- spoken by Bug as he pulls on a red network cable
"We didn't have time to build the game levels from scratch. So you used the building layout? Uh huh."-- spoken by Drummond and Laura
"All that fighting, all that greed. Put that into a computer and yeah, you get a real scary mess." -- spoken by Drummond
"Oh look. My AI chip is finishing the game." -- spoken by Sol as his chip creates textures for the game
Other quotes I enjoy.
"If you want to make it in this world you've gotta be PFD. Programmed for damage." -- spoken by Hardcore as he cuts into his finger with a pocket knife
"We can't draw straws! How pre-industrial complex." -- spoken by Bug as his argument for why they can't draw straws
"We're a long way from Pacman little girl." -- epic stupid line spoken by Hardcore
"Come on you're a nice guy. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm a real pig f#*ker." - spoken by Laura and Drummond
"Hardcore's Palm Pilot has got wireless access. It has got to be down here somewhere. Ok, you e-mail for help. I'm gonna get this door open." -- spoken by Laura and Drummond
Things I learned from watching this movie.
1. All programmers listen to P.O.D.
2. It is possible to do so much on a server that you "overload" it and it takes out the land line phones.
3. Power surges can corrupt every file on every hard drive of every PC instantly.
4. It takes all night to restore a backup from a DVD.
5. Whenever you install a new expansion card into a server the whole rack will start glowing white and overload the server.
6. You can't turn servers off because if you do your files will be lost.
7. All office buildings feature security cameras, steel shudders, audible alarms, keypad entry on each door, Plexiglas walls that come down during a security breach, and huge ventilation shafts.
8. You can break a window and then wait a minute and the glass will repair itself.
9. All professional sound engineers use bundled Compaq PC speakers from 1997.
10. If you can't beat a game, put on a VR headset & gloves.
11. It's ok to fight something in Virtual Reality even though it is really happening if the level design of the virtual environment is the same dimensions as the real world.
12. Cell phones don't exist in 2001 because you can only Palm Pilot to get online and ask for help.
13. Everyone is evil and if you're nice to people you will be trampled on until you die.
This movie is such a treat. I love it. Make sure you see this one.
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