Stealth Reviews
Top Critic
If we're going to be fighting the war on terror in perpetuity, could we at least get better movies out of it?
Cohen undermines his own effort to make a 21st century Top Gun by using so many quick cuts and zooms that we can't even appreciate the action sequences. I almost got motion sickness.
It's not new. It's not interesting. I wish it would go away.
Aiming to join the Jerry BruckheimerJerry Bruckheimer/Michael BayMichael Bay school of American movie war games, Stealth is just too dumb to make the grade.
Stealth manages to be so ridiculously unconvincing you think you're watching a live-action version of last year's sublime action-movie puppet satire Team America.
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| Original Score: 1/4
Rob Cohen's airborne adventure Stealth commits the cardinal sin for an action movie: It's very, very dull.
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| Original Score: 1/4
No matter how hard Cohen flogs it, whips it, beats it, shakes it, kicks it and prods it with a sharp stick, Stealth, his latest, just doesn't spring to life.
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| Original Score: 1/4
Stealth flirts with competence when it reprises Behind Enemy Lines, and staggers into hilarious ineptitude when it borrows from 2001: A Space Odyssey.
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| Original Score: 1/5
Harsh and tasteless, it doesn't even qualify as a popcorn movie. Popcorn, at least, has some taste to it, and a certain airiness.
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| Original Score: 1.5/4
Stealth succeeds in satisfying a dozen different pubescent fantasies while simultaneously violating every aspect of logic and good taste.
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| Original Score: 1/4
Beyond mind-numbing explosions, Stealth's effects are good, especially the whooshing flight scenes. But as Eddie shows, humanity matters, and computer wizardry won't fill an empty plot.
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| Original Score: 2/4
Cohen is no stranger to cornball excess but Stealth is his chef-d'oeuvre, a movie so audaciously preposterous and jingoistic it plays like a parody of the genre.
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| Original Score: 1/4
[Stealth] is the filmic embodiment of all that is indulgent, gratuitous and downright dumb in pop culture.
| Original Score: D
Stealth doesn't so much crash and burn as just fly and fade into its CGI-created sunset.
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| Original Score: 2/4
Hollywood hokum? Absolutely. Pop-culture propaganda? Perhaps. Yet Stealth goes beyond feeding our popcorn proclivities.
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| Original Score: 3/4
Stealth is a pretty fair military-hardware action movie until you start thinking about it -- at which point it turns incredibly sour in your mouth.
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| Original Score: .5/4
The latest and, in many ways, most preposterous hunk of big-screen action to come out of Hollywood in some time.
| Original Score: C-
Stealth is so over-painted with CGI that it doesn't look as real as the sequence starring Shepard that inspired it in The Right Stuff, a movie made with model airplanes.
| Original Score: 1/4
Stealth is flimsy and forgettable, but it does have a few worthy action and special-effects sequences.
Full Review
| Original Score: 1.5/4
A slick piece of summer entertainment that is counting on elaborate special effects to make its derivative, convoluted story line all but irrelevant.
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| Original Score: 2/5
The dialogue is often drowned out by engine noise.
While Stealth repeatedly hits air pockets of plot nonsense, Cohen provides [fun] in abundance.
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| Original Score: 2.5/4
The movie does deliver the video game goods but strands its characters in a no-man's-land of crude characterizations and silly dialogue.
It ain't brain surgery, but Stealth is one of the smartest stupid movies of the summer.
Full Review
| Original Score: C+
The movie is absolutely consistent -- it's just as wildly improbable at the end as in the beginning.
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| Original Score: 3/5
Stealth's strengths are obvious -- high-tech marvels and a good cast -- so are its flaws. At its worst moments, a mad robot seems to have taken over the movie, too.
Full Review
| Original Score: 2/4
If Stealth were a recruitment film for aircraft-carrier duty, one would be tempted to say, 'Mission accomplished.' As a feature film, it's a washout.
| Original Score: 1.5/4
After 110 minutes of this, atheists will storm monasteries and acrophobics will scale redwood trees, anything to find an oasis of calm.
Full Review
| Original Score: 2/4
Stealth is a offense against taste, intelligence and the noise pollution code -- a dumbed-down Top Gun crossed with the HAL 9000 plot from 2001.
Full Review
| Original Score: 1.5/4
Move over, Michael Bay. The Island is no longer the loudest, dumbest movie of the summer.
Full Review
| Original Score: D
Overlong, disjointed, and rarely compelling, Stealth has the capacity to put viewers into a catatonic state.
Full Review
| Original Score: 1.5/4
The stars are asked to chew on the driest of technobabble, and to strike poses of flyboy and flygirl moxie that make them look callow rather than heroic.
Full Review
| Original Score: c
