Botched Reviews

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Super Reviewer
August 18, 2013
Does this really get better after the first 40 minutes? Please tell me, because I'd really like to give this a chance, but I'll need some convincing.
Super Reviewer
June 22, 2013
Super Reviewer
½ September 7, 2008
Very very strange horror comedy that I only saw due to Stephen Dorff being in it. You know its a slightly funny flick from the characters at the start but it then turns from a mysterious horror to a totally unscary unfunny and quite pointless bizarre heist, saw, cube type flick.
The main baddie is quite weird and has a trap that set of spikes to fly up through the floor accompanied by disco music!!
Super Reviewer
August 3, 2008
Like the recent release, "The Cottage", "Botched" begins with crime gone awry that turns into a weird hostage situation, then a staple horror slasher shows up. It's funny, pokes at alot of Russian culture/cinema stuff in a juvenile yet still entertaining way. The slasher's story (he's atctually got one) is actually cool and more original than other recent slashedies like "Hatchet", "Severance" and "The Cottage". The characters all play out according to convention, but with silly affectations and quirks to make them sort of flimsy entertaining cardboard as opposed to just ol' post-Scream-derivative cardboard. It's more absurdist than serious about itself, which is a big plus for this movie in today's horror market. As much lame dialogue as there is, there is equal weird-funny dialogue. The first kill was totally friggin awesome; this has got enough staged gore for all the fr33ks and gorewhorez out there. Yeah, the blood is clearly fake, and the director/dp plays with that in the right way, so these people must know their genre and film-making pretty damn well. Worth a watch for horror fans, the intoxicated looking for late-night laughs, and "totally awesome" to any packs of tweenager budding horror buffs.
Super Reviewer
½ August 20, 2008
Slow to get going, then just out there and more absurd than funny. Has it's moments but didn't take itself too seriously so neither did I.
Super Reviewer
June 4, 2008
An entertaining, funny and gory, Yes!! very gory horror movie,
September 26, 2014
Goofy, gory, fun Irish horror comedy (that takes place in Russia). Silly fake Russian accents, inventive deaths, bizarre premise, and lots of blood make this one fun ride.
½ February 23, 2013
Starting out as a heist film this movie soon changes gears and becomes a splatter fest filled with gallons of blood and body parts, then morphs into a horror comedy. As a horror comedy it is nowhere near on a par with Shaun of the Dead but it was fun to watch. The storyline is adequate, the acting is good, the action is fast and pretty well done, the effects are okay, and the musical score is not intrusive but quite good. Good entertainment value if you like horror and aren't put off by the splatter.
January 1, 2012
A well-titled film that starts off as a heist flick, turns into a somewhat silly slasher flick, and ends up degenerating into clumsy farce. The premise is dumb to begin with; a priceless sacred relic is stored in a secret floor in a Moscow office building and guarded by a lunatic who wears chain mail and thinks he's Ivan the Terrible. His sister is an even crazier religious fanatic who apparently likes human sacrifices (not too clear WHAT the deal is with that character). An American thief tries to steal the cross, tables are turned, and there's a small but key role for Sean Pertwee (son of the third Doctor Who). The characters are cardboard, slow scenes are "humorized" by showing them in fast motion, and characters know things they have no way of knowing (where secret levers are, for example) whenever it's convenient. Oh, and they find a room filled with weapons while being chased by a maniac... but decide not to take any of them. No, really.

Botched, indeed.
June 9, 2011
This movie came out of nowhere and surprised the bejeezus out of me. It's absolutely hilarious and thoroughly disgusting at the same time. If you like horror comedies like Severance, this is just the kick in the pants you're looking for. Stephen Dorff is an actor I like even though most of the movies he's been in are pretty weak. Cold Creek Farm and Alone In The Dark are just two bad ones among others. However, he redeems himself here as the straight man surrounded in a sea of blood, guts and sheer insanity. This is a seriously twisted and over-the-top bloodbath that replaces jumps with laughs and acts like nothing's the matter. It's absolutely genius in my opinion. If you don't like your chuckles and your gore mixed together, you probably won't get it. But if you have a warped sense of humor like myself, you'll be shooting beverages out of your nose in no time. I won't go too much into the details of the plot, because it's relatively light and the less you know the more you'll enjoy it. First time director Kit Ryan throws down the horror/comedy gauntlet with authority and shows he can hang with the big boys.
½ June 8, 2011
The only good thing I can say about it is that the acting, surprisingly, wasn't intolerable. Everything else was. A completely absurd and pointless waste of life that left me wishing for my time back.
½ January 14, 2010
LMAO!! Yeah it was.. not that it was bad but I thought this was suppose to be a crime thriller LMAO!! Turns to be a dark comedy bordering on horror movie. My long Love Stephen Dorff is in this (for those that do not know have been a fan of his since I was little.. (well him too being he?s only a few years older) I?m sure I?ve seen him in Different Strokes. (the earliest would be the new leave it to beaver but never watched that I don?t think) so anyway. The way the movie turned out I was surprised. Is not the best but although you have been ?warned? about the twist (sorry) some of the stuff well one part was just to silly & stupid I couldn?t help but laugh. And all this happens in Russia after a ?botched? diamond hesit. Or rather the after math of it. I do LOVE when Stephen Dorff plays the bad guy.. I can?t remember the last movie I saw him that he didn?t (oh wait for once for once he didn?t die/get killed in one) C+
To me a little better than a C but possibly not full on B material. What made me think this was the type of movie I thought it was no idea but IMDB says comedy thriller crime (maybe the crime part I remembered only cause of the title. ) but at least it made me laugh after a long annoying I wanted to kill someone at at work.. (ah Thank you Ivan the Terrible)
September 24, 2009
I was told this movie was great, and I guess for phsycho people like me, this was a great movie, had the mystery on who was in charge of killing, the characters were good and there was no one really famous to take away from the plot or the movie, best of all it had a charm on the killers since it was comic, and I think I could watch it again and again without growing bored!!
July 19, 2009
Awesomely dark comedy with lots of blood and gore, along with hilarious script and funny Russian accents
½ February 10, 2009
Better of some horror movies I've seen lately. Plot isn't half bad. Gore is reasonable. Acting isn't half bad, and Hugh O'Conor gets pretty funny after he loses his pants. Plus, the killer reminds me of the crazy bad guys they'd often use on Highlander - long-hair, bad dresser, odd accent, and unintentionally funny while evil.
½ November 29, 2008
There were some pretty funny bits (who wouldn't laugh at Ivan the Terrible running amok in a vacant office building and skinning people?), but save it for a rainy afternoon - you've seen better.
½ July 25, 2008
I give this movie three and a half AWESOME stars. I want to give it more because it's so FUKIN hilarious. It'z juzt that i can't take this movie that serious, even though i loved it. This movie is mad damaj and, i love that funny british accent, it was sort of like lock shock and two smokin barrel funny but it was also a horror. Hyrid comdey horrors don't work all the time, but it definitly works here. This is a very entertaining movie & i highly recommend it.
Super Reviewer
½ July 5, 2008
Quite an unexpected surprise. I wasn't expecting this movie to be that good. Started off a little slow, but when it picked up it became very entertaining. also several funny moments in which I laughed out loud.
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