All Critics (112)
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Top Critics (21)
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Fresh (31)
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Rotten (84)
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DVD (6)
The problem is that the fight sequences -- the only reason anyone sees a movie like this in the first place -- are muddy, chaotic and boring. Even diehard fans of this genre would be well advised to skip this one.
This saga, set in Berlin, is more committed to its bloodletting than to any of its characters.
A movie that provides plenty of jolts but precious little pleasure.
This movie knows exactly what it is: Gonzo silliness about bodies turned into human salsa.
Shouldn't throwing stars be silent? If they're gonna sound like gunshots, why not just use guns?
It's a gorefest, a borefest and a snorefest.
It would be hard to expect any surprises from a film called Ninja Assassin, but on the other hand, it would be hard to be disappointed by it either. It does exactly what it says on the tin.
has too much story for one movie and ends as merely a mildly entertaining ninja actioner...
An East meets West splatterfest unfolding like a lethal cross of Crouching Tiger and Sam Peckinpah.
... it's like a music video of violence that has lost the beat and doesn't care.
The grindhouse thrills hold no pretense, and McTeigue doesn't waste his time trying to woo the unconverted.
For a film that shows such obvious care in its production values, there is surprisingly little content involved. (Blu-ray Edition)
...one, long, martial-arts fight.... Given the talents involved, we have to mourn what might have been.
Dumb and dumber German troops, homicidal hotties into doing laundry, creative enemy amputations without benefit of anesthesia, and martial arts hostile takeover of big bucks bank accounts that could have gone the less frenzied route of identity theft.
Decent ingredients but, as a whole, this is lacking in choreographic flair and plot substance.
A garish and poorly filmed chop-socky frolic that makes about as much sense as an Escher painting viewed through Vaseline-smudged Ray-Bans.
Ninja Assassin is final proof that the once innovative Wachowski Brothers have indeed lost their creative mojo.
The fight scenes are uninspired and I suspect post-pubescent audiences will be very bored.
The fight scenes are mostly great. And Rain, so dashing in Speed Racer, is something to behold. His precisely rippled and defined body is awe-inspiring.
It truly wouldn't take much - a minor re-edit, a few arch looks to camera, a wiseacre sidekick named 'Shortballs' - to inch this utterly mystifying throwback into spoof territory.
Ninja Assassin is little more than a sporadically diverting disposable movie that will probably spawn several straight-to-DVD sequels. The butcher's shop window is still a more fulfilling proposition though.
The bulk of the fight sequences take place at bed-time so it's difficult to see exactly what's going on - it's like putting a colony of bats in a Magimix. In the dark.
As it geysers forward from that claret-soaked opening scene, V For Vendetta director James McTeigue's mega-violent B-movie packs shock and gore and, to be frank, not much else.
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