Alone in the Dark (2005)

All Critics (119) | Top Critics (29) | Fresh (1) | Rotten (119) | DVD (15)

Christian Slater and Stephen Dorff, the reigning princes of Hollywood schlock, join forces in this brain-dead adaptation of a popular video game.

January 5, 2007 Full Review

J. R. Jones

Chicago Reader

Top Critic

Any chance for suspense is thwarted by gratuitous violence, heavy-metal-propelled action sequences and laughably flat dialogue between characters who are barely more developed than in the Atari version.

June 24, 2006 Full Review

Time Out

Top Critic

A violent and incomprehensible piece of gibberish.

February 3, 2005 Full Review

Rex Reed

New York Observer

Top Critic

The garish editing and stilted, exposition-only dialogue induce the frisson of an America's Most Wanted re-enactment that pays unexpected, sidesplitting returns.

February 2, 2005 Full Review

Benjamin Strong

Village Voice

Top Critic

When the giant, intelligent bees of the future sift through the ashes of our civilization, they will find Alone in the Dark, and they will understand. It's so bad it's postmodern.

February 2, 2005 Full Review

Scott Brown

Entertainment Weekly

Top Critic

Veers tantalizingly close to being one of those movies that is so bad it's good, but in the end, it's so bad it's just ... bad.

January 28, 2005 Full Review | Comment (1)

Ann Hornaday

Washington Post

Top Critic

The horror. The hor-ror!

April 29, 2009 Full Review | Comment (1)

Felix Vasquez Jr.

Cinema Crazed

Lame monster movies like this adaptation of the popular Atari video game are scary for all the wrong reasons.

August 7, 2008 Full Review

Mark Halverson

Sacramento News & Review

The late Gene Siskel once devised a simple method of measuring a film's worth: 'Is this film more interesting than a documentary of the same actors having lunch?' 'Alone in the Dark' doesn't come close to matching that standard.

May 29, 2008 Full Review | Comment (1)

Rossiter Drake

San Francisco Examiner

There's nothing even remotely entertaining about this film -- audiences should stay home and play the original (or one of its numerous sequels) on Playstation instead.

March 1, 2007 Full Review

Ethan Alter

Film Journal International

better than expected, but, considering the reputation of its author, this isn't much of an achievement

November 6, 2005 Full Review

Dragan Antulov

Draxblog Movie Reviews

Alone in the Dark pourrait figurer dans un dictionnaire en exemple frappant de ce que signifie insipide.

July 27, 2005 Full Review

Louis-Jérôme Cloutier

Panorama

Eu devia ter suspeitado de algo quando meu aparelho de DVD pareceu se recusar a rodar este filme. E posso jurar que ele pediu um Cepacol depois que a tortura chegou ao fim.

July 16, 2005

Pablo Villaca

Cinema em Cena

My most honest advice would be to skip this movie entirely, and by 'entirely' I mean "...even if you live to be 139 years old."

July 3, 2005 Full Review

Scott Weinberg

DVDTalk.com

This is pretty close to one of the worse movies that I've ever seen and having to recap it is making my brain bleed..

June 25, 2005 Full Review

Kamal 'The Diva' Larsuel

3BlackChicks Review

As long as director Uwe Boll is given money to make films, we are guaranteed at least one unintentionally uproarious gut-buster a year.

June 15, 2005 Full Review

Bill Clark

FromTheBalcony

So maniacally, fervently awful that you have to step back and cackle with glee at humanity's teeming capacity for irrelevance and self-delusion.

May 24, 2005 Full Review

Brent Simon

Now Playing Magazine

Boll's vague X-Files rip-off isn't scary or exciting, but inadvertently he's made a movie funnier than a lot of the purported comedies Hollywood cranks out.

April 13, 2005 Full Review

Mark Pfeiffer

Reel Times: Reflections on Cinema

How Uwe Boll manages to scrape together enough investment money to give wing to this type of overblown, amateurish gibberish is truly a mystery of the cosmos...

March 30, 2005 Full Review

Jovanka Vuckovic

Rue Morgue Magazine

Little of Alone in the Dark makes Earthly sense, but it at least knows how to be bad in original ways.

March 1, 2005 Full Review

Mark Palermo

Coast (Halifax, Nova Scotia)

Has just about everything a snarky bad movie lover could want--that is, except a guy and two robots sitting in the bottom right hand corner.

February 27, 2005 Full Review

Michael Dequina

TheMovieReport.com

Remember to get your bets in early as the Razzie winner for 2005.

February 10, 2005 Full Review

James O'Ehley

Sci-Fi Movie Page

• 1. Edward Carnby: My name is Edward Carnby, and I'm here to protect you from the things you don't believe.
  – Submitted by Jed G (8 months ago)
• 1. Aline Cedrac: [slaps Edward] I thought you were dead, *sshole!
  – Submitted by Jed G (11 months ago)
• 1. Aline Cedrac: Some doors are meant to stay shut.
  – Submitted by Jed G (11 months ago)
• 1. Aline Cedrac: [points to Native American text on a cave wall] It's a warning! It says, 'Once you make it down here alive, you're already dead.'
  – Submitted by Jed G (11 months ago)
• 1. Delivery Guy: What the h*ll's 'Abkani'?
  2. '80s Sheriff: It's an ancient native american civilization.
  – Submitted by Jed G (12 months ago)
• 1. Edward Carnby: My name is Edward Carnby, and I'm here to protect you from the things you don't believe. You see, there's a world around you that you've trained youself not to see.
  – Submitted by Jed G (12 months ago)