Blubberella - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Blubberella Reviews

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Nate Z.
Super Reviewer
½ October 11, 2012
The action/horror spoof Blubberella is Uwe Boll's second attempt at (intentional) comedy. He did re-release a "funny" version of his 2003 disaster, House of the Dead. That seems like the same opportunistic rebranding and dubious retconning that Tommy Wiseau pulled when he tried to claim that his magnus opus of suck, The Room, was always intended as a "quirky black comedy." Sure, Tommy. Boll's first attempt at comedy, 2007's Postal, almost worked despite itself; the taboo-smashing genre of wacky comedy seems like a better fit for Boll's cinematic tendencies. Blubberella is proof that Boll should stick to schlock and leave comedy to the professionals.

Blubberella (Lindsay Hollister) is a dhamphir, half-vampire/half-human, but really she's just looking for a good man and a good meal. It's 1944 Germany, and Blubby has joined forces with a resistance group lead by Nathaniel Gregor (Brendan Fletcher). Together, the group, along with the sassy gay soldier Vadge (William Belli), must battle a mad scientist (Clint Howard), a vampire Nazi general (Michael Pare), and the prospect of an immortal Adolf Hitler (Uwe Boll himself!).

Leaden puns, obvious jokes, clueless pacing and comedic construction, tiresome one-liners, incessant yet flaccid sex jokes, a desperation to be shocking, Blubberella is a bizarre and staggering failure even by Boll standards. Rarely does the movie actually land a funny line (you want to know the best line? Here it is: "My friend says I replace sex with food... but then he raped me, so that kinda shot that theory." Yes, that is the best one). The jokes aren't textured in the slightest and can't be bothered with basic constructive issues like setup, context, and payoffs. Instead, the movie is rife with random sexual and scatological references. It's like the film is the living embodiment of a Tourette's child. Belli (TV's Nip/Tuck) is a braying gay stereotype that wears out his abrasive welcome in no time flat. At one point Pare just goes into a garbled Marlon Brando impersonation for no clear reason, and then it's done. This would-be comedy, in name only, confuses randomness for clever. Here's an example: a group of characters are crouched waiting for an all clear signal, and Vadge blurt out, "If you're going through the drive-thru get me a Frosty." Just because it's a random line and anachronistic does not cover up the fact that it's simply not funny in any context. There is no joke there. Everything in the movie just seems like a meaningless throwaway gag, never accumulating or having any connection to situation. Randomness does not excuse sheer ineptness. Given the understated title, I'd expect there to be a plethora of fat jokes that the movie would routinely fall back on for easy punchlines. I actually counted: there are approximately 35 fat-related jokes; at barely 75 minutes, that comes to about one fate joke every 45 seconds. I'm shocked they had that much restraint considering the opening minute of the movie featured Blubby walking into a giant walk-in freezer filled with enough blunt Flintstones-style sight gags.

Even worse, Blubberella relies on pitiful attempts to be "shocking" to rouse the audience into laughter. And so we endure scenes like the resistance fighters relocking a boxcar full of concentration camp victims ("No wonder they took you. That hat does nothing."), Blubby killing a man by farting on his face, playing RISK with Hitler and then there's the blackface. In the movie's most obscene, whiplash-inducing moment, Blubby suddenly morphs into a Caucasian version of Precious being berated by her abusive and spiteful mother. Belli portrays the monstrous mother in drag and blackface. Amazingly, this is not the only character Belli plays in blackface. There's another regrettable moment during that Hitler RISK sequence where Belli plays Hitler's black assistant ("One of our new allies from Africa," Hitler explains), and the guy can't go a single sentence without referring to people as MF-ers. Whoo boy. Here's the thing about the attempted Precious parody: just taking a situation and copying and pasting it to a new location doesn't make it a parody. The blackface moments, in particular the Precious aside, feel completely out of place and tacky at best. Just because something is supposedly shocking or in bad taste does not mean it is funny without due context and setup. Blubberella does not understand this comedy truism, and so we get more of the same wearisome crass crap.

Blubberella was shot simultaneously with Bloodrayne: The Third Reich, utilizing the same sets, costumes, actors (literally everybody does double duty), recycled action footage, and more or less the same script. It's not like the script for Bloodrayne 3 was that strong to begin with to warrant a copycat. It's like Boll's version of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, though with more Nazis. Actually, just that very description is giving the movie far more credit than it could possibly ever hope for. There's nothing clever about Boll's alternative spin on his third Bloodrayne vehicle; just replacing Rayne with a 300-pound actress and making her go through the same motions doesn't mean it's a comedy. The laziness on display is powerfully lulling. I don't think anyone on the entire planet was praying for a wackier retread of Bloodrayne 3. The funny thing is I don't think the change of tone makes that much difference to Clint Howard.

Blubberella plays out like a tried improv game that has gone on for an eternity. The film is stuffed with scenes that just seem to spin on and on, lacking momentum and any discernable direction. Scenes will just wander aimlessly like Boll is just waiting for his actors to somehow produce quality jokes spontaneously. Newsflash: this isn't a Judd Apatow movie. Holler and company will just spout random lines and riff off one another, acting like a troupe of lobotomized circus acts that have stumbled into a war zone. The results are pitiful, though occasionally they will hit a somewhat amusing idea that will be aborted in the next breath/stab at improv. It's merely a numbers game and if they fire 100 jokes maybe 2 find some footing. Such shrug-worthy moments include Blubby holding a soldier's hand to her stomach and saying, "If there wasn't a baby in there, would that be okay?" Huh? At one point, Boll's narration pops up to declare the following scene "boring," and yet the entire scene from Bloodrayne 3 plays out uninterrupted or unedited. What was the point of that? If you've already made an attempt to side with your audience by declaring your scene boring, then why leave it unabridged? Why is keeping this scene vital from a plot standpoint for what is intended to be a silly spoof? Why does plot continuity even matter?

I noted with Bloodrayne: The Third Reich a theory that Boll, a notorious cinematic pick-pocket, was trying his hand at recreating Quentin Tarantino's Oscar-winning WWII drama, Inglourious Basterds. Well after sitting through this movie, I can confirm without a doubt that Boll has a raging hard-on when it comes to Tarantino homage. The movie is broken up into chapter, including such delightful titles as "Titty Titty Fang Bang," the score will resort to periods of long whistling, Hitler screams "nein nein nein," and for older references, one character says, "Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey," and another, "I'll kill every last mother f*****' last one of you." Are you going to tell me that is all a coincidence?

The lingering problem with Blubberella, besides its overwhelming incompetence and inexplicable existence, is that it feels more like a gag reel accrued for the cast and crew of Bloodrayne 3. This doesn't feel at all like a movie or even an attempt at a movie. I'm of a mixed mind when it comes to Hollister. The central Ohio native (represent, girlfriend!) is probably not going to get many starring roles, though she has shined in guest roles on numerous TV shows like My Name is Earl, Big Love, Law and Order: SVU, and Scrubs, so I can't blame her for jumping at the chance to be the lead star, the headliner (she and Belli are also listed as co-writers). Hollister is actually a pretty nice actress and has strong comedic instincts; however, that doesn't mean she will rise to the occasion if left to her own devices by Boll's paucity for scripted jokes. Boll isn't exactly the most creatively nurturing collaborator. It's all one big fat mess. You want the most telling moment? It occurs during the dull outtakes peppered throughout the end credits. One of the actresses, little seen in the flick, remarks astutely, "It's not working. It's not funny." In six short words, she has summarized Blubberella better than I could ever hope to.

Nate's Grade: D
Super Reviewer
February 20, 2013
I don't know why I watched this, I really don't know. It's one of the worst films ever made by Mr Boll.
½ June 30, 2013
F

A horrible, unfunny movie. Tries too hard to be funny and fails. Avoid, MAYBE watch if you and your friends are bored to death and need to kill an hour and a half.
November 18, 2012
This was an interesting movie. The title leads you to believe that its a "cinderella" parody, but in fact, its a BloodRayne Parody (kind of) it had a few laughs, it wasn't dreadful, the cast was amusing. The action was almost non-existent, but I liked this little rental-gem
½ October 19, 2012
Very bad but theres some laughs to be had, Brendan Fletcher seems to be having fun and hes fun to watch.
½ March 17, 2012
What could be an insane and potentially hilarious concept is obviously ruined in the hands of the worst writer/director in history. The entire film fails massively, as expected, as Uwe Boll has absolutely no concept of what good comedy entails. What we have here is a 1.5 hour cavalcade of fat jokes, lame sound effects, and star wipes. It's only fitting that Boll himself plays Hitler in the movie....
January 5, 2014
Much funnier, and more entertaining than "Bloodrayne Nazis" or whatever it's called- the film it's taking the piss out of. Some jokes fall flat, but Willam doing what he does best makes up for it. Yes, he's camping it up here to great effect. Probably the best film Uwe Boll has ever made. That's right, his best film is a parody of one of his other films. Yup.
½ January 3, 2014
I've happened across this film and I'm currently watching it and was compelled to google to see what there was while watching it. I was lucky enough to watch Bloodrayne 3 the third Reich first and a whole load of the cast is the same and the main thread of script the same, it's so funny so far and I'm finding myself unable to take it seriously and find it really funny when I've seen the real serious version first, I'm sure half the time the actors are tying to keep a straight face after they've probably made the proper version first and now making this piss take after. Well worth watching this film after you've watched the proper film first otherwise you just wont get how funny it is and where it's coming from! Really recommend watching the sensible one then this one. Oh, both are available currently on love film subscription internet. I keep looking at some parts of the film thinking that they are parts from the original but only to have some piss take joke put in at some point in the proper words of the proper script, I find it actually quite brilliant that Uwe Boll can make both a serious and also piss take version of the same film and marry them up so well together
December 28, 2013
A spoof of Bloodrayne. Kinda funny for the first 10 minutes.
August 24, 2013
This movie is terrible, highly offensive, and vulgar. It should be unenjoyable, but yet somehow, this movie is really fun to watch. I've watched a number of Uwe Boll's films and absolutely hating all of them. I expected to hate this all the same. Yet, 90 minutes later, I had a lot of fun. Sure, the jokes are incredible rude and offensive to all walks of life, but this is one of those rare cases where it actually turns out to be funny. Blubberella is a half-vampire, half-woman (yes, it's actually explains that) in 1940s Nazi Germany, trying to find love on the internet (yes, in the 1940s). She ends up infecting one of the Nazi generals and has to help the resistance to save them and the Jews being held captive. She's still trying to find her soul mate along the way. You meet Hitler, with a painted on mustache and all, a guy in a fish outfit, and a cross dressing tranvestite. This movie is wrong on so many levels, but yet I liked it.
½ June 30, 2013
F

A horrible, unfunny movie. Tries too hard to be funny and fails. Avoid, MAYBE watch if you and your friends are bored to death and need to kill an hour and a half.
April 29, 2013
A Uwe Bol spoof of a Uwe Bol movie, this was filmed at the same the third bloodrayne movie, which is a pretty terrible movie, and this is even worse, except for a few lines, such as when she farts on the guys head and says, "This moment brought to you by Fried Chicken", that and a few other moments, but overall this is just down right awful.
April 10, 2013
Probably one of Uwe Boll's worst films... but I laughed a lot
½ April 4, 2013
After a while the humor wears off but b that time I was most of the way in. Itwas in no way a good movie or well acted, but as action film spoofs go I enjoyed it.
February 28, 2013
Very bad, but funny as hell, fter you've seen Blood Rayne: 3rd rict
Super Reviewer
February 20, 2013
I don't know why I watched this, I really don't know. It's one of the worst films ever made by Mr Boll.
½ December 27, 2012
L'idée qui a présidé à la conception de 'Blubberella' est de celles dont on se demande si elles ne devraient pas faire jurisprudence pour la création du concept de "crime immatériel contre l'humanité". Voici deux ans, ce voyou de Uwe Boll était occupé à mettre la touche finale à l'épouvantable 'Bloodrayne 3', l'un des plus abominables spécimens d'une filmographie déjà fertile en sombres merdes. Vu qu'il avait des décors, des acteurs et un scénario - en tout cas, des trucs qui y ressemblaient et s'appelaient pareil - sous la main, Herr Boll s'est dit, avec un sens de l'efficacité tout germanique : "Ach so, mais pourguoi ne pas vaire zwei merdes plutôt que eins ?" Même décors, mêmes personnages, mêmes récit, sauf que 'Bluberella' est le pastiche de la série Z dont elle s'inspire, définition qui porte en elle ses propres contradictions. Quoique...non, en fait, tout cela est très logique. Le principe d'une série Z, c'est d'être drôle sans le savoir et sans le vouloir. le principe d'une parodie, c'est de rendre drôle quelque chose qui ne l'était pas forcément au départ. Moins plus moins égalant plus, 'Blubberella' est donc la parodie pas drôle d'un truc involontairement drôle. Car 'Blubberella', à force de vouloir être spirituel, ne l'est pas du tout. Même les quelques gags qui semblaient posséder un minimum de potentiel sont plombés par une mise en scène de télénovéla et des acteurs tout aussi mauvais que dans le film original (normal, ce sont les mêmes). Seule l'actrice principale a été remplacée puisque le coup de génie de Uwe Boll a consisté à faire de Rayne une vampire obèse (qui bouffe trop et fait des pets comme tous les gros ; d'ailleurs 80% des gags reposent là dessus). Par pudeur, je vous épargnerai le climax qui voit Uwe Boll en personne accomplir son rêve d'enfant et incarner Adolf Hitler affublé d'une moumoute. J'ai beau être toujours partant pour un film bien con, celui-ci fait partie de ces productions qui vous font vous sentir très mal à l'aise pour tout ceux qui y ont participé, du producteur à l'éclairagiste.
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