Bullet to the Head Reviews
Super Reviewer
Super Reviewer
Super Reviewer
Seriously, how do you make such a poor excuse for a B-movie with a title like "Bullet to the Head" and with a cast that includes Stallone, Sung Kang, Mr. Eko, and Khal Drogo...I mean, Jason Momoa? How do you set up an axe fight and have it end in a lame lucky shot instead of a beheading? And is dialogue like "I'm going to kill you with a rock" or "If I asked for your opinion, I'd buy you a brain" really the best one-liners that you could come with? This movie is a total bomb. Go see Arnold's new movie, The Last Stand to see a silly B-movie done right.
Super Reviewer
Super Reviewer
Bullet to the Head is about a New Orleans hitman and a Washington D.C. detective form an alliance in order to bring down their common enemy. Now the main reason this won't appeal outside of it fan base is it unoriginality and overuse cliches. A fan of the action genre can look past these flaws, but it will still bug fans. Now since this a buddy cop action film there's some good laughs to be had here in the comedy aspect, but Stallone partner in the film almost entirely useless. He helps Stallone once or twice, but most of the time Sung Kang either needs be rescue, does nothing important, or is just their be made off. Plot has ever so rarely been a strong aspect in Stallone action films, but considering what's on his resume (Stop! or My Mom Will Shoot) you could do allot worse.
Now time for the good aspects of the film which includes Sylvester Stallone in the leading role. He's basically here to act tough and kill people on screen which if you enjoy seeing this won't disappoint. It makes good use of its R rating by including a good amount of blood and brutal deaths. What also helps in the action section is Walter Hill direction. While his gun fights are nothing special where the film does shine are in the film fight scenes. Given that Walter Hill also directed "The Warriors" expect some good brutal fights and a terrific ax battle towards the end. The actors that play the heroes were good or at least serviceable at best. Though the actors that played the villains are awful. Not a single actor that played a villain was even close to being average. The worst offender being Jason Momoa who does looks menacing, but when he talks he loses all presence of being a villain.
Bullet to the Head is not going to appeal outside of it fan base for it's unorginal, cliche, and might make some want to put an actual bullet to their head due to amount of stupidity in it. For those who do enjoy Stallone in a leading role killing baddies in a simple to follow plot with good amount of humor and action than this might do trick. Though you might prefer watching the star and director superior previous works instead for quality films.
Super Reviewer
Based on a French comic book, it's fitting that 'Bullet to the Head' be directed by a true auteur like Hill. Directors of his nature sadly don't exist anymore; men whose movies could be enjoyed equally by the film scholar and the Saturday night six-pack guzzler. You can almost imagine Hill initially turning down the job, grunting something along the lines of "I'm too old for this shit", only for the producers to kill his dog and kidnap his daughter, forcing him to direct at gunpoint in chained ankles. Whatever his motivation, he's proved that when it comes to visceral action cinema, there are few better. In a Walter Hill movie, gunshots sound that extra few decibels louder, blood looks slightly more red, and anyone can die at anytime. It's a template he sticks to here, transporting us back to a time before post-modern cynicism and smart-ass genre deconstruction took the fun out of the action movie.
Over the decades, Stallone has been honing his comedic chops but never quite found a fitting role. This is easily the funniest performance he's ever given, playing his character like a cross between John Wayne and a Jewish stand-up. Kang is no great actor but plays the straight man role well enough, basically just there to take insults from Stallone. It's similar to the dynamic of Nolte and Murphy in Hill's '48 Hours', another rare effective blend of comedy and action. There are several nods to 'The Searchers', one of Hill's favorite films, with Stallone even repeating "That'll be the day" at one point. The action icon's age is mocked nicely, the film's eye candy (Shahi) now his daughter rather than a love interest.
Do you like your action movies to consist of two guys bickering in a car between ballistic, bone-crunching set-pieces, eventually climaxing with a girl tied to a chair in a disused power plant while two 'roided up men fight to the death with axes, all in a brisk ninety minutes? If so, this is the film for you.
Super Reviewer
In this R-rated actioner based on a French comic book, a DC cop (Sung Kang) and a Crescent City hitman (Stallone) form an alliance after watching their respective partners die at the hands of a common mercenary (Momoa).
It's a shame, really. Grizzled Italian oak-of-a-man Stallone looks amazing and shows better action chops than most younger shoot-'em-up wannabes (John Cena, Liam Hemsworth, etc.). Also, Momoa (Conan the Barbarian, HBO's Game of Thrones) proves to be a worthily villainous opponent as a seemingly modern Viking warrior. Unfortunately, in-between ridiculously quotable bon mots, the patently silly and disbelief-busting script slowly connects the dots toward Cliché - not Crescent - City. Thanks to some fizzled chemistry, the flat buddy cop formlua invites less comparisons to Hill's 48 Hours and more to its anemic sequel, Another 48 Hours. Stallone deserves better...so do action fans, however.
Bottom line: Demolition pan.
Director: Walter Hill
Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Sung Kang, Sarah Shahi, Jason Momoa, Christian Slater
Rated: R
Running Time: 92 Minutes
By all accounts, Walter Hill's New Orleans set buddy-action flick, Bullet to the Head, is not a good movie. For the majority of its running time, it's poorly directed, hopelessly clichéd beyond abandon, features a sleepwalking Stallone as its protagonist, and an unintentionally annoying Sung Kang as the cop accidentally brought into the generic conspiracy located at the film's relentlessly conventional core. Even those interested in trashy, old school thrills will come off disappointed by the sheer lack of personality on display. These harsh critiques mostly apply to the first 80 minutes: A crudely assembled pastiche of 80s and 90s hackneyed plot points, and conversations which follow for of a Mad Libs type structure compared to similar films of its ilk. For an R-rated Sylvester Stallone vehicle directed by former champion of action Walter Hill, including up-and-coming king of carnage Jason Momoa (Conan the Barbarian), the best aspect shouldn't be a cameo by Christian Slater as a flamboyant and corrupt lawyer. This isn't meant as an insult toward Slater, but not having the most memorable part of an action film named Bullet to the Head be a bullet to any part of the anatomy should be a violation of one of the biggest unspoken laws of filmmaking.
Let me stress this again: These harsh critiques only necessarily apply to the first 80 minutes. I say this because Bullet to the Head contains one of the best third act twists in recent memory. After spending almost its entirety following the conventions of 80s and 90s action flicks down to the tee, at the very last few moments Hill and screenwriter Alessandro Camon tear us away from the formula for an incredibly exciting climax. Set in an abandoned firehouse, it takes the traditional trope of the "protagonist has important information/bad guys have hostage who's family to the protagonist" featured in every other action film, and then literally blasts it to smithereens. It's exciting, exhilarating, and almost redeems the film for the monotony which came before it. The dull 80 minutes which proceed this climax actually assist its impact; had they been just as interesting and fun to watch as the last 12, it wouldn't of had the same force. Although it may just be in comparison to what came before it, Hill nearly successfully redeems himself at the end, but there's little else to recommend other than Christian Slater.
He hasn't been in a theatrically released film since Uwe Boll's 2005 financial and critical disaster Alone in the Dark, and has been serving his exile in the direct-to-video bin ever since. Despite Walter Hill not having made a film in over 10 years, and Stallone not carrying a starring role in a wide release, non-franchise film since 2001's Driven, the person most in need of a comeback vehicle is Slater. Hill will always have 48 Hours and The Warriors. Stallone will always have the Rambo and Rocky series, along with the continuing cash cow of The Expendables franchise. But, at the end of the day, it's Christian Slater who really needs the return to the spotlight. He's a fun actor, and proves his comedic timing and excellence in playing smarmy characters here in a tiny role. It's nice to see Stallone carrying a film, even better to have Hill back behind the camera, but putting Slater back on the big screen where he belongs is a decision worth celebrating.
But the screenplay stinks. It's almost generous to give it high a rating as it is, though with material like this Stallone is able to bring a couple of guffaws and titters with his (though mostly mean) banter against his 'sidekick', his character being a brutal hitman next to a tough but law-abiding cop (Sung Kang). Clocking in at 91 minutes, including credits, there's not a surprise I could find with this one. The most I could see that Hill brought to the table in terms of filling up the screen with content was a) some good bluesy rock on the soundtrack (RL Burnside even pops up) and sets his story in New Orleans - excuse me, sorry, "Crescent City", of course, how could I mistake it with its creole and crawfish and ragtime street parades. and...
It's all here: the dead partner needing revenging, the boilerplate corrupt city of (most) cops and urban developers (seriously have they learned nothing from Lex Luthor in the Evil Real Estate Development thing?), and the Big Nasty Bad Guy. And while I don't think he's necessarily a 'good' actor, Jason Momoa does carry nasty screen presence, which is fine and serves the character to a point. Hell, so does Stallone, even with his weirdly chiseled body and his face full of botox and god-knows-what. But is this all worth it when, again, the script is just reheated crap from the early 90's that Hill back then might have turned down as being too close to, you know, 48 Hours and Another 48 Hours?
To be fair, he might have looked at this as a way of getting back into doing something honest-to-goodness down and gritty, a no-winking action movie (I will give it this, it's not the Expendables in terms of winking at its audience). But what else is there? I wanted the movie to give me something to work with, especially in the absence of a compelling sidekick - no, Sunk Kang is not it, not even close, and Joel SIlver's decision to drop Thomas Jane from the film was a grave mistake, all that's added to distinguish him from anyone else are a couple of Asian jokes from Sly - and villain who just has a basic snarl (Adabesi from Oz/Mr. Echo from Lost here with an odd physical impairment - why it's there, who cares). I was happy to see Christian Slater for a couple of minutes, perhaps he could have made a more interesting main villain. But instead he's relegated to being the closest thing to 'comic relief' as a stooge lawyer.
Maybe meatheads will eat this up. I was mildly entertained in small doses, bored in larger ones. I might be more forgiving if this was just by another hack-for-hire, or even moreso if it was a young director with something to prove. But I was already impressed last month, thanks to a director who DID have something to prove and did, Jee-Woon Kim, with his Schwarzenegger vehicle The Last Stand. That film didn't take itself seriously, but could still deliver a different, wild action movie amid the genericness. This is just the latter. Skip it for late night Cinemax viewing, maybe with a double with Tango & Cash... no, scratch that, Stallone/Russel beats this by far.
