Dungeons & Dragons Reviews
I guess at the time the effects were a little more impressive than today's standards of course plus there wasn't the huge amount of fantasy films that there are these days so this was quite a special little event. Looking back now it really is a terrible film, the acting from everyone is just abysmal and full O' cheese. Irons goes beyond taking the piss really with his rather queer hissing, cackling and facial expressions whilst his second in command played by Bruce Payne is just the campiest guy I've seen for ages...oh and he has blue lipstick on too.
The film revolves around the cliched to max partnership of Wayans (doing his best Eddie Murphy impression) and Whalin trying to be heroic and cool. The pair are just awful together and completely lacking any sense of comedic timing, there is of course a lot of attempted humour throughout but it all falls flat on its face hard.
There really is nothing to recommend here other than to laugh at, the effects are the worse CGI you will have seen for a major release (even though its an old film yes I know), tonnes of obvious bluescreen and even the costumes, makeup jobs and props all look cheap and tacky.
I still can't understand why Irons would agree to this, ditto Richard O' Brien ('The Rocky Horror Picture Show' and quite the cult name here in the UK). I suppose its because his scenes were a homage to the classic 'Crystal Maze' he once hosted, almost a homage to him really, the guy is legend but this brings him down.
The film was indeed mauled upon release but at the time (twas much younger back then) I gave it some leeway, it kinda reminded me of the 'Mortal Kombat' film and how, even though it was weak, it still had a glimmer of quality. But now I simply cannot allow that leeway anymore, the film may be enjoyed by younger kids but basically its crap.
Let's start with Jeremy Irons portrayal of Profion, an evil sorcerer trying to overthrow the kingdom's government. This might be some of the worst acting you've ever seen. In the last scene, you can barely understand what he's saying! And then there's the infamous "Hatatatatata!!" moment. The supporting villain is pretty bad too. His talk speed makes Eor from Winnie the Pooh look like Chris Tucker. Doesn't help that he has blue lips. There are also a few scenes that might have been seen as Indiana Jones ripoffs.
Now let's go on to the good. Besides Jeremy Irons and Bruce Payne, the acting was actually pretty good. Marlon Wayans and Justin Whalin did a pretty good job in particular. By the time Snail is killed, we (Well, I at least) really feel for his death. Zoe McLellan did a pretty good job too, and I'm NOT just saying that because she's hot.
The plot is pretty good too, even if it is a star wars ripoff. It shows a few historical traits to make it smarter than it's 10% rating might convey.
It also has a fair amount of heart. It's no Gone with the Wind, but compared to most fantasy films, it was pretty emotional. Lot's of scenes with great emotion.
I also think that it has a great message. Though it may be lost under Irons overacting, the film has a great message about how many different people can come together to achieve a common goal.
Bottom line, this was a good movie. Not spectacular, and I can understand the negative reviews, but good. I won't reccomend it, however, to anyone other than my friends.
also gtfo Thora Birch, where is your career
I will admit I didn't really like it, but I also didn't really hate it. It was just really cheap-looking, with some weird acting performances (& some bad ones too), & overall a very geeky movie.
This is based on the board game of the same name, but I haven't played it, nor do I plan on playing. It's just way too nerdy; just as nerdy as Star Wars.
The plot was pretty straight forward, but the story seems too cliche, & a typical "save the kingdom from disaster & evil with a special weapon found in a mysterious place" bullshit. And it also felt like a horrible Legend of Zelda gameplay rip-off. And don't even get me started on how this movie has dungeon scenes that ripped-off "Indiana Jones & the Temple of Doom".
The acting was not only bad, but also over-dramatically bad. Some of the actors would either look lifeless & bored, to plain out underacted &/or over dramatic. The direction was nothing too special & it looked very cheap, & I'm not just talking about the cheap camera quality either. The actors are pretty decent choices, since they're all talented actors for that matter, but they're all miscast choices, & they do not look anything like what they're playing...actually, scratch that, the actors do not make believable characters for what they play. Justin Whalin on the other hand, is the only actor in this movie who fits his character & role right, & that's only because he looks like a character found in any medieval fantasy movie or TV show, & he also looks like an Eragon reject. The villain in this movie is so laughably bad that I almost choked on my own saliva. The villain is bald, not that it's a bad thing to be bald, who wears coral blue number 2 semi-gloss lipstick (lol Spongebob reference), & says his dialogue in the slowest way possible. No really, every time he would say something, it would take him about 5 minutes to finish it all, I swear I could take a 15-minute shower as he begins his talking, & when I exit, dry, put on my clothes & some deodorant, & walk back to continue watching it, he'd either just be finishing the last couple of words or still talking.
Jeromy Irons played his character in such a badly acted way. He was the actor who was the most over-dramatic in this movie, hell in the entire fight scene between the dragons, he became a human vibrator at one point. And then there's Thora Birch's character who was the most under-dramatic character & actor of the movie. Her performance gave no emotions & had no impact upon the character.
The special effects were nothing special, but they do give you the world of medieval dragons & castles any movie of the theme should. But if you want to see some CGI that was good & better than this for it's own time, watch Tim Burton's "Sleepy Hollow". And the score was beautiful too, probably the thing I really liked in this movie. The costumes on the other hand, are pretty cheap, & they look like nothing more than some things worn by geeks at a costume party or reunion of the Dungeons & dragons fan base. As for the sword fight coordination, wow, just, wow, it's so simple & plain that you ask yourself if the coordinator of the sword fighting was a 10 year old. What you get from the sword fighting is nothing more that up, down, up, down, up, down, down, up, down, up, up, up, down, down, up, & so on! It's like a bad video game sword fight!
And I can tell you right now that Courtney Solomon is a horrible director at best, no worse than most other ones, but still horrible. She also gave us "An American Haunting", one of the worst horror movies I have ever seen, & definitely one of the worst movies ever made. Courtney cannot direct a good movie even if her life depended on it.
So, the best I can describe this movie is like the best thing the Sci-Fi channel can give you, only it actually went into theaters & wasn't on that channel. Hell it even ends the credits with a screen shot of the movie, like all bad straight to DVD or Scy Fy channel movies do!
I wouldn't recommend this movie, but if you want to see how bad it really is, then go ahead & check it out. You're better off having a blast laughing at this than you would with a movie like House of the Dead.
WTF!!!! There's a sequel to this film?