Guyana: Crime of the Century (1980)

[b][i]Night Train Murders[/i][/b]
Starring: Flavio Bucci, Macha Meril, Gianfranco De Grassi, Enrico Maria Salerno, Marina Berti, Franco Fabrizi, and Irene Miracle.
Directed by Aldo Lado.
Written by Renato Izzo and Aldo Lado.
No MPAA rating (contains scenes of vile sexual torture and violence).
Running time approximately 1 hour 34 minutes.

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[center][i]Revolting. Die slowly...screaming.[/i][/center]

My least favorite Wes Craven film is his first - [i]The Last House on the Left[/i]. Aldo Lato's [i]Night Train Murders[/i] (a.k.a. [i]Second House on the Left[/i]) is no better. The box art claims the film is "ore reprehensible than [i]Last House on the Left[/i]," when in fact the film is the exact same film as the Craven debut. The biggest difference: the train...and the horrid dubbing, which is more distracting than anything else. I hated this movie. I can't sell it. Reckless doesn't want it. [b]Zero Stars (out of ****) F[/b]

[b][i]God Told Me To[/i][/b]
Starring: Tony Lo Bianco, Deborah Raffin, Sandy Dennis, Sylvia Sidney, Sam Levene, Andy Kaufman, and Richard Lynch.
Written and Directed by Larry Cohen.
No MPAA rating (contains violence, language and some sexual content/nudity).
Running time approximately 1 hour 32 minutes.

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[center][i]God told him to cut his throat.[/i][/center]

Larry Cohen is a strange case. He has these awesomely original ideas ([i]Q: The Winged Serpent[/i] is the only other of his writer-director credits I've seen) but is/was unable to get proper funding for these huge ideas. He makes films about big ideas with tiny budgets. [i]God Told Me To[/i], a gloriously incendiary piece of trash art, is a great idea trapped in a good movie. It balances out. There is one scene of such raw emotional intensity I almost couldn't stand it. [b]*** (out of ****) B[/b]

[b][i]Zombie[/i][/b]
Starring: Tisa Farrow, Ian McCulloch, Richard Johnson, Al Cliver, Auretta Gay, and Olga Karlatos.
Directed by Lucio Fulci.
Written by Elisa Briganti.
No MPAA rating (contains graphic horror violence/gore and some nudity).
Running time approximately 1 hour 32 minutes.

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[center][i]Yes, it's zombie vs. shark. Glorious.[/i][/center]

Lucio Fulci must have been a fun guy to talk to. His films are so incredibly strange and seemingly spontaneous, and I wonder if his life was the same way. [i]Zombie[/i], a slow but fun and super-gory flick that makes little to no sense most of the tim eand includes one of the most revolting scenes of violence I've seen, is a bit lesser than [i]The Beyond[/i], the late Italian master's masterpiece, but it's still a great time. The zombie vs. shark scene was wonderful and strange. [b]*** (out of ****) B[/b]

[b][i]Guyana: Cult of the Damned[/i][/b]
Starring: Stuart Whitman, Gene Barry, John Ireland, Joseph Cotten, Bradford Dillman, Jennifer Ashley, and Yvonne De Carlo.
Directed by Rene Cardona, Jr.
Written by Rene Cardona, Jr. and Carlos Valdemar.
No MPAA rating (contains disturbing violent content including child abuse and some language).
Running time approximately 1 hour 55 minutes.

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[center][i]They must be saved from overactor Stuart Whitman![/i][/center]

[i]Guyana: Cult of the Damned[/i] (retitled, rather obviously, due to its badness) is another of the countless (well, I'm sure I could count, but that seems rather unnecessary and tedious) films to have grabbed my attention from the pages of Ebert's book [u]I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie[/u]. The film is so badly acted, written and directed as to be endlessly entertaining. The first scene, filmed in a church, is intercut with a man being run over by a train. That pretty much sums it up. [b]Zero Stars (out of ****) F[/b]

[b][i]City of the Living Dead[/i][/b]
Starring: Christopher George, Katriona MacColl, Carlo De Mejo, Antonella Interlenghi, and John Morghen.
Directed by Lucio Fulci.
Written by Lucio Fulci and Dardano Sacchetti.
No MPAA rating (contains graphic horror violence and gore).
Running time approximately 1 hour 33 minutes.

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[center][i]Decidedly creepy, yes?[/i][/center]

[i]City of the Living Dead[/i] is the least impressive film I've yet seen from Lucio Fulci. I was so bored, and it really didn't make much sense. I found it quite tedious, sitting there just waiting for the next awesome gore scene (There are two here - yes, only two). Not much from Fulci. Steer clear. [b]*1/2 (out of ****) C-[/b]