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DVD (14)
Lacking the satirical bite of the first Scream... this is mere pastiche that doesn't even wink at what it is pointlessly xeroxing from the past.
Horror without suspense is like sex without love: you can appreciate the technicalities, but ultimately there's no reason to care.
It's just not that scary (even the gory sequences are predictable and boring). And it certainly isn't clever or funny.
Draggy stretches in the first few reels could easily have been pruned from an already tight 83-minute running time.
Even after appropriately lowering expectations, it's kind to call this one a cut below.
The film might not host an original concept, but its attention to detail - the tiny things that made '80s slashers unique - render Hatchet a far more enjoyable experience than its competition.
I enjoyed Hatchet quite a bit. I was never scared, and I can't say I laughed out loud much, but it has a very gleeful tone that invites the viewer in.
Anchor Bay's new Blu-ray disc replaces their old DVD as the definitive edition for fans who want to add the film to their collection.
Only a brief, nicely sculpted bass clarinet line provides any redeeming quality.
Gory monster/slasher spoof is drenched in blood.
This may be the bucket of blood that splatter fans were eagerly anticipating ... but it is also an excellent horror film with solid scripting and strong performances that make it appealing to a wider audience.
The sharpest tool in the shed.
Enjoyably schlocky horror flick, with its tongue firmly in cheek, ensuring that there are several laughs to be had amidst all the gory, hatchet-wielding mayhem.
Anyone feeding into this nostalgia is yearning for a kind of warm and fuzzy horror that's wholly irrelevant today.
Fun horror-comedy about tourists being picked off in the swamps. Tongues are firmly in cheeks; heads don't stay long on shoulders.
This low-budget horror spoof lasts only 84 minutes, but seems to take forever.
A reasonably serviceable horror, with much gory dismemberment, and featuring a kind of ancestor worship in the casting of scary-movie veterans Robert Englund and Tony Todd.
Billed as "Old School American horror", Hatchet's actually something far less classy: a technically inept homage to '80s slasher movies that's both bloody and bloody stupid.
Long before its howling bogeyman has savaged his last victim you'll be wondering if the movie has anything else to offer besides self-conscious homage.
Green's efforts to strike a balance between knowing humour and no-holds-barred horror are stymied by an erratic tone: a slow, talky build-up gives way to a soggy middle section and a messy, all-stops-out finale.
What could have been a mini-Scream is ultimately I'll Always Know You Did Last Halloween the 13th.
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