Keith Lemon: The Film (2012)
Average Rating: 1.5/10
Reviews Counted: 12
Fresh: 0 | Rotten: 12
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Average Rating: N/A
Critic Reviews: 2
Fresh: 0 | Rotten: 2
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A comedy about Keith following his dreams of becoming a successful entrepreneur, just like his hero Richard Branson. He comes to London from Leeds, becomes an overnight billionaire then an over day failure before finding the road to redemption.
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[Lemon's] execrable film debut ... suffers from reverse Norma Desmond syndrome: He's still small, it's the picture that got big.
Full of nauseatingly puerile penis-enlargement and bodily fluid gags, the film pads out its mercifully brief running time with witless cameos from the likes of David Hasselhoff, Jedward, Jason Donovan, Peter Andre and several Spice Girls.
The emphasis on cheap sex is pitiful. The illustrative use of bangers and mash beyond infantile.
You don't really need jokes when you've got a ginger 'tache, a silly voice and a big fat woman swearing, do you?
Had it all been done more tongue-in-cheek, it might have worked as a rubbish curio like a more adult Spice World, but instead it's boring, offensive and not funny in the slightest. Like Spice World.
We came to this film with the hope of surfacing with a few burnished comic pearls from down, down in the lowest common denominator depths. But we came back with nothing.
Even the Mr Skin moments are unwatchable, and the funniest moment in the whole thing comes from a bus sign.
Keith Lemon: The Film has no coherent plot, is childish, lewd, coarse and mindnumbingly boring.
Full of cameos from everyone you'd expect, all of whom appear wooden and uncomfortable, as if they've finally realised the terrible place their unquenchable thirst for self-publicity has landed them.
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