Major Payne Reviews

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TheDudeLebowski65
Super Reviewer
½ November 23, 2010
Major Payne is a good comedy film about a trained Marine and one bad assed killing machine who's been discharged from the Military because his services are no longer needed. After trying to adjust to Civilian (unsuccessfully) he gets thrown back in the Military, only now as the head of a school's JROTC program. Damon Wayans delivers one funny performance as Major Benson Winnifred Payne. Wayan's performance is hysterical and he provides many laugh out loud moments. The film will never win any awards, but you can watch it with the feeling that you'll see something very funny and with Wayans brand of humour, you'll likely have a few laughs even if you don't like the film all that much.Major Payne is the type of film that you can watch with friends or family to have a good time. Damon Wayans performance is unique. Major Payne, the character is the stereotypical type of trained killer who lives only by the military norm. He's good at one thing and one thing only: killing on the battlefield, and when he trains the boys of the local school, he just tries to train them like normal military recruits, and it's funny how the character doesn't seem to understand that they're kids. He does, but he doesn't give them no pity (live normal military recruits). The kids training under Payne do everything to get him to quit, but to no avail. Every plan that they form backfires with hilarious results. I view this film as a misunderstood film, many viewers tend to not like it for all the wrong reasons. Major Payne is a good little comedy with plenty of laughs. The thing that it's got going for it too is that except for one kid in the film, all the kids playing the recruits under Payne, weren't annoying. If you want to watch something funny with Damon Wayans, then this is the film to watch.
Super Reviewer
½ July 23, 2010
C+
Chiefilms
Super Reviewer
½ April 15, 2010
Damon Wayans isn't a movie actor, but he puts in a good performance here. I keep watching these 90's kid comedies, but I really only want to find and watch Heavyweights.
ScoopOnline
Super Reviewer
December 19, 2009
He was looking for a few good men... or a few guys old enough to shave their Heads. lol
Super Reviewer
August 15, 2009
I'm not that big of a Damon Wayans fan, but he does a great job in this movie. He starts a program at a local school for kids who want to be in JROTC. His ultimate goal is to prepare them to win the competition for best cadets in the county JROTC competition that will be held later on. He is real strict on all the kids, so they all want to get rid of him. He has to find a way to get along with the kids while also giving them some discipline.
"Major Payne" is a hilarious movie. While you watch the movie, you'll be laughing a lot, but you'll also see that it's a good movie. I recommend anybody to get "Major Payne." NOTE: That was my Amazon review from the year 2000...hilarious movie!
Super Reviewer
March 7, 2009
Ha ha. I laugh just remembering this one. Unfortunately I don't remember it being any good.
cosmo313
Super Reviewer
½ December 10, 2007
An uninspired, unfunny, steaming pile of shit.
puffchunk
Super Reviewer
September 24, 2007
fun
Super Reviewer
½ July 24, 2007
The movie is confused about what it wants to be in a Bad News Bears kind of way. Profanities and shocking humor abound, but cliched moral dilemnas abound as well. Damon Wayans provides some laugh-oud-loud humor, but the soundtrack is utterly appauling. Only one song on the soundtrack was good, but I forgot its name, and "Respect" and "Bad to the Bone" aren't bad songs, but they don't really add to the movie either.
Super Reviewer
July 1, 2007
Damon Wayans plays the role of "Major Payne" at a military camp for bad boys. It's hilarious fun. He might seem cruel at first, but he really cares for the little guys. Damon Wayans fits the role perfectly, with his weasely commanding voice. The kids were not too annoyingly bad. They get down to some serious wargames later in the movie, making it a broader story.
sanjurosamurai
Super Reviewer
January 22, 2007
i love that karyn parsons, really good family flick
Super Reviewer
½ December 28, 2006
Funny.
Super Reviewer
½ December 31, 2007
Funny movie. This movie a little bit ridiculous, it has great characters, and most of all it has heart. This is one of those movies that you can watch over and over and it is still funny.
Super Reviewer
May 28, 2011
damon waynes is bringing the payne and laughs up to order! A
sjcole4
Super Reviewer
½ April 22, 2008
"You want sympathy? Look in the dictionary between s*** and syphillis!"

This is just one of the many fantastically clever and hilarious lines spewed by Damon Wayons portraying the outrageously cold Major Payne. Wayan's character is a one-line aficionado and he elevates this movie to a level it essentially does not earn. I won't go as far as to call this an amazing movie (because that would be stupid) but this is some of the best harmless entertainment you'll ever have from a movie. If you are ever in a really really bad mood, I challenge you to watch this movie and then afterwards try and remember why you were angry...you most likely won't care anymore. This has to be some kind of a cult classic...it's just too good not to be.

Other notable one-liners/ quotes from Major Payne:
"I am 2 seconds from being on you like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snow storm."

"Emily: Apparently he had a little accident.
MP: Apparently he pissed all over the front of his pants.
Emily: Well maybe that's because he is 6.
MP: Because he's 6? Woman, when I was 6 years old I had a full-time job!"

"Killing is my business ladies...and business...is...GOOD!"

I'm pretty sure I was laughing pretty much the entire movie.
KeepGuessing
Super Reviewer
June 17, 2008
Funny, though Damon Wayans repetitive acting gets old really fast as the movie progressed.
iLeo
Super Reviewer
½ April 12, 2007
Very funny! Love watching it with the sibs.
Super Reviewer
June 18, 2006
Sorry Adam another dumb movie.
½ March 28, 2007
Um. Yeah. I fell asleep. I think I chuckled...once during the time of not being asleep...

Gosh darnit, his voice is sooo annoying.
½ November 17, 2013
It was funny and entertaining. I enjoyed the movie. However, I first saw it this year, 2013; and feel that it's has dated a bit. I noticed the make-up work on Major Payne. I think that the casting of the children fell short. Some of the characters looked a bit older than children. However, good film to watch with a younger audience.
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