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Movies / On DVD / No Such Thing
No Such Thing

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No Such Thing (2002)

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Reviews Counted:42

Fresh:12

Rotten:30

Average Rating:5/10

Rated: R [See Full Rating] for language and brief violence

Runtime: 1 hr 43 mins

Genre: Dramas

Theatrical Release:Mar 29, 2002 Limited

Synopsis: Everyone says there's no such thing as a monster. What if they were wrong? Renowned director Hal Hartley poses that question in United Artists Films / American Zoetrope's production of No Such... Everyone says there's no such thing as a monster. What if they were wrong? Renowned director Hal Hartley poses that question in United Artists Films / American Zoetrope's production of No Such Thing, a modern fairy tale about a kind, sensitive beauty and her horrific, tortured beast. In the frigid, mountainous, northernmost edge of the world lives a Monster (Robert John Burke). Hard-drinking, foul-mouthed and extremely bad tempered, he doesn't know exactly when he came into existence, but it was long before the dawn of man, whom he holds in great contempt. The ceaseless noise of humanity and the ever-increasing barrage of media signals fill his head as though he were a satellite dish, causing unbearable agony that only booze and occasional slaughter can relieve. Unfortunately, as far as he can tell, he'll live in misery forever - nothing can kill him. Far away in New York City where crime, terrorism and senseless violence abound lives Beatrice (Sarah Polley). A young, sensible girl, Beatrice works in a low level job at a sensationalist TV news show where the world's catastrophes mean high ratings and bad news is good news. The "Boss" (Helen Mirren) constantly rails at her staff to find - or create - even worse news. Civilization's chaos reigns supreme. When Beatrice's boyfriend and his crew goes missing while on assignment to find the fabled Monster for a news story, Beatrice goes to look for him and comes face to face with the Monster herself. He's murdered her boyfriend and his crew, and will most likely do the same to her, but instead of setting her on fire or tearing her in two, she and the monster forge a tentative, cautious friendship. When the Monster confesses that there's only one chance for an end to his constant torment, Beatrice and he return to civilization to seek out modern-day mad scientist Dr. Artaud, the only man with the secret to ending the Monster's life. As the pair weathers the storm of publicity created by the Monster's arrival in New York, the media frenzy and ensuing fame threatens to throw Beatrice off course, leaving the Monster stranded and persecuted by government testing and endless talk show conjecture and questioning. When Beatrice comes to her senses and struggles to do what she set out to do, she's then forced to answer the hardest question of all: What if there were no monsters to believe in? From acclaimed writer/director Hal Hartley (The Unbelievable Truth), United Artists Films presents an American Zoetrope production (in association with The Icelandic Film Corporation and True Fiction Pictures) of NO SUCH THING, the offbeat, moving story of a cranky monster and the good-hearted girl who changes his life. Starring Sarah Polley (Go, The Sweet Hereafter), Robert John Burke (From the Earth to the Moon), Helen Mirren (Prime Suspect, The Madness of King George), and Julie Christie (Afterglow, Shampoo), the film was produced by Fridrik Thór Fridriksson, Hartley, and Cecilia Kate Roque, with executive producers Francis Ford Coppola, Linda Reisman and Willi Baer. The esteemed production team includes director of photography Michael Spiller (The House of Yes), production designer Árni Páll Jóhannsson (Children of Nature), editor Steve Hamilton (Trance), the music of Hal Hartley, and costume designer Helga I. Stefánsdóttir. -- © 2001 MGM/UA [More]

Starring: Robert John Burke, Sarah Polley, Helen Mirren, Julie Christie

Starring: Robert John Burke, Sarah Polley, Helen Mirren, Julie Christie, Erica Gimpel, Baltasar Kormákur

Director: Hal Hartley

Director: Hal Hartley
Screenwriter: Hal Hartley
Producer: Fridrik Thor Fridriksson, Hal Hartley, Cecilia Kate Roque
Composer: Hal Hartley
Studio: MGM/UA

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Release:

Jul 9, 2002

No Details Exist
 
 

Reviews for No Such Thing

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1 - 20 (sorted by date)
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Full Review Source: Chicago Reader | comment Comment
10/15/09
Jonathan Rosenbaum
Jonathan Rosenbaum
Chicago Reader
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

Instead of arresting a downward-spiralling career, Hartley's latest folly (one of the worst movies in Cannes 2001) shows what happens to an iconoclastic director when he neglects his intsinctive talent for small, quirly indies and goes uproariously big.

Full Review Source: EmanuelLevy.Com | comment Comment
03/10/06
Emanuel Levy
Emanuel Levy
EmanuelLevy.Com
N/R

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Full Review Source: Time Out | comment Comment
01/26/06
Time Out

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Full Review Source: Film Threat | comment Comment
12/06/05
Film Threat

For a guy who has waited three years with breathless anticipation for a new Hal Hartley movie to pore over, No Such Thing is a big letdown.

Full Review Source: eFilmCritic.com | comment Comment
05/13/03
Oz
Oz
eFilmCritic.com

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Full Review Source: Killer Movie Reviews | comment Comment
04/05/03
Andrea Chase
Andrea Chase
Killer Movie Reviews

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Full Review Source: Film Threat | comment Comment
12/08/02
Film Threat

Like the world of his film, Hartley created a monster but didn’t know how to handle it.

Full Review Source: Apollo Guide | comment Comment
10/30/02
Kevin N. Laforest
Kevin N. Laforest
Apollo Guide

Click to read the article

Full Review Source: Hollywood.com | comment Comment
09/13/02
Doris Toumarkine
Doris Toumarkine
Hollywood.com

It's not a particularly good film, but neither is it a monsterous one.

Full Review Source: Ozus' World Movie Reviews | comment Comment
09/11/02
Dennis Schwartz
Dennis Schwartz
Ozus' World Movie Reviews

Why did such fine actors sign on to this lollapalooza?

Full Review Source: Film Journal International | comment Comment
09/09/02
Erica Abeel
Erica Abeel
Film Journal International
N/R

Click to read the article

Full Review Source: Denver Rocky Mountain News | comment Comment
08/09/02
Robert Denerstein
Robert Denerstein
Denver Rocky Mountain News
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

Laced with liberal doses of dark humor, gorgeous exterior photography, and a stable-full of solid performances, No Such Thing is a fascinating little tale.

Full Review Source: DVD Clinic | comment Comment
07/30/02
Scott Weinberg
Scott Weinberg
DVD Clinic

No Such Thing breaks no new ground and treads old turf like a hippopotamus ballerina.

Full Review Source: Film Freak Central | comment Comment
07/10/02
Bill Chambers
Bill Chambers
Film Freak Central

A stirring, funny and finally transporting re-imagining of Beauty and the Beast and 1930s horror films

Full Review Source: Matinee Magazine | comment Comment
07/07/02
Jason Clark
Jason Clark
Matinee Magazine

Can a philosophical monster movie work when it's not meant to be scary? Apparently indie bad boy Hal Hartley thinks so.

Full Review Source: WBAI Web Radio | comment Comment
05/24/02
Prairie Miller
Prairie Miller
WBAI Web Radio

It's Splash without the jokes.

Full Review Source: Filmcritic.com | comment Comment
05/08/02
Christopher Null
Christopher Null
Filmcritic.com

I watched the brainless insanity of No Such Thing with mounting disbelief.

Full Review Source: New York Observer | comment Comment
04/10/02
Rex Reed
Rex Reed
New York Observer
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

No Such Thing may be far from perfect, but those small, odd Hartley touches help you warm to it.

Full Review Source: Salon.com | comment Comment
04/05/02
Stephanie Zacharek
Stephanie Zacharek
Salon.com
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

So unique and stubborn and charismatic that you want it to be better and more successful than it is.

Full Review Source: Matinee Magazine | comment Comment
04/03/02
Chuck Rudolph
Chuck Rudolph
Matinee Magazine
 
 
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