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No Such Thing (2001)



Average Rating: 4.9/10
Critic Reviews: 15
Fresh: 4 | Rotten: 11

No consensus yet.



liked it
Average Rating: 3.2/5
User Ratings: 3,460

My Rating

Movie Info

Beauty meets the Beast, and neither is sure just what to make of the other, in a modern-dress comic variation on the ancient folk tale, written and directed by the eternally offbeat Hal Hartley. Beatrice (Sarah Polley) works with the office staff of a sleazy tabloid TV news show, run by a harridan producer (Helen Mirren) eager for something other than the usual spate of violent crimes and natural disasters that are her show's bread and butter. The producer sends her camera crew to Iceland in


Drama, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Comedy

Hal Hartley

Jul 9, 2002

United Artists Films/ MGM - Official Site External Icon

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All Critics (45) | Top Critics (17) | Fresh (12) | Rotten (30) | DVD (7)

I watched the brainless insanity of No Such Thing with mounting disbelief.

April 10, 2002 Full Review Source: New York Observer
New York Observer
Top Critic IconTop Critic

No Such Thing may be far from perfect, but those small, odd Hartley touches help you warm to it.

April 5, 2002 Full Review Source:
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Everything's serious, poetic, earnest and -- sadly -- dull.

March 29, 2002
Washington Post
Top Critic IconTop Critic

By the end of No Such Thing the audience, like Beatrice, has a watchful affection for the monster.

March 29, 2002
Washington Post
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Hartley never gets a firm grasp on this material.

March 29, 2002 Full Review Source: San Francisco Chronicle
San Francisco Chronicle
Top Critic IconTop Critic

What [Hartley] wants, and gets, is a fablish mood.

March 29, 2002 Full Review Source: Newsday
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Instead of arresting a downward-spiralling career, Hartley's latest folly (one of the worst movies in Cannes 2001) shows what happens to an iconoclastic director when he neglects his intsinctive talent for small, quirly indies and goes uproariously big.

March 10, 2006 Full Review Source: EmanuelLevy.Com

For a guy who has waited three years with breathless anticipation for a new Hal Hartley movie to pore over, No Such Thing is a big letdown.

May 13, 2003 Full Review Source:

Like the world of his film, Hartley created a monster but didn't know how to handle it.

October 30, 2002 Full Review Source: Apollo Guide
Apollo Guide

It's not a particularly good film, but neither is it a monstrous one.

September 11, 2002 Full Review Source: Ozus' World Movie Reviews
Ozus' World Movie Reviews

Why did such fine actors sign on to this lollapalooza?

September 9, 2002 Full Review Source: Film Journal International
Film Journal International

Laced with liberal doses of dark humor, gorgeous exterior photography, and a stable-full of solid performances, No Such Thing is a fascinating little tale.

July 30, 2002 Full Review Source: DVD Clinic
DVD Clinic

No Such Thing breaks no new ground and treads old turf like a hippopotamus ballerina.

July 10, 2002 Full Review Source: Film Freak Central
Film Freak Central

A stirring, funny and finally transporting re-imagining of Beauty and the Beast and 1930s horror films

July 7, 2002 Full Review Source: Matinee Magazine
Matinee Magazine

Can a philosophical monster movie work when it's not meant to be scary? Apparently indie bad boy Hal Hartley thinks so.

May 24, 2002 Full Review
WBAI Web Radio

It's Splash without the jokes.

May 8, 2002 Full Review Source:

So unique and stubborn and charismatic that you want it to be better and more successful than it is.

April 3, 2002 Full Review Source: Matinee Magazine
Matinee Magazine

The Christ allegory doesn't work because there is no foundation for it

March 30, 2002 Full Review Source: Reeling Reviews
Reeling Reviews

On a cutting room floor somewhere lies...footage that might have made No Such Thing a trenchant, ironic cultural satire instead of a frustrating misfire.

March 30, 2002 Full Review Source: SPLICEDWire

It's a film with an idea buried somewhere inside its fabric, but never clearly seen or felt.

March 29, 2002 Full Review Source: Combustible Celluloid
Combustible Celluloid

Little more than a stylish exercise in revisionism whose point ... is no doubt true, but serves as a rather thin moral to such a knowing fable.

March 29, 2002 Full Review Source: TV Guide's Movie Guide
TV Guide's Movie Guide

An off-beat and fanciful film about the human need for monsters to blame for all that is amiss in the world.

March 29, 2002 Full Review Source: Spirituality and Practice
Spirituality and Practice

Audience Reviews for No Such Thing

This is a well written story made on a shoe string budget. All the character are well developed and there are some beautiful shots of Iceland. The story is about of an immortal rock like creature who has lived since the world was formed. He watched animals evolve to the current period in time. He lives in isolation to avoid the human race, he had a bad run ?in with them several hundred years ago. He meets a naďve and beautiful reporter and she convinces him to come back to society. It all goes wrong through the middle of the movie. Helen Merrin plays her exploitive editor. The Movie start and finishes good , but the middle is a little slowly paced and predictable. The shoe string BBC production value can only be compared to the final days of the 70?s era ?Doctor Who? I would only recommend this to hard core sci-fi or movie buffs.
September 11, 2010
Bill Cavros

Super Reviewer

I found the main characters inconsistent. A lot of things in the film seem to be have no point. I just didn't get it.
July 2, 2008

Super Reviewer

A very unusual film and well worth your time.
March 25, 2007
FanGirl Browncoat

Super Reviewer

    1. Monster: I can't go out there and be expected not to kill anybody.
    – Submitted by Christian P (2 years ago)
View all quotes (1)

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