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No Such Thing (2002)
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Reviews Counted:42
Fresh:12
Rotten:30
Average Rating:5/10
Theatrical Release:Mar 29, 2002 Limited
Synopsis: Everyone says there's no such thing as a monster. What if they were wrong? Renowned director Hal Hartley poses that question in United Artists Films / American Zoetrope's production of No Such... Everyone says there's no such thing as a monster. What if they were wrong? Renowned director Hal Hartley poses that question in United Artists Films / American Zoetrope's production of No Such Thing, a modern fairy tale about a kind, sensitive beauty and her horrific, tortured beast. In the frigid, mountainous, northernmost edge of the world lives a Monster (Robert John Burke). Hard-drinking, foul-mouthed and extremely bad tempered, he doesn't know exactly when he came into existence, but it was long before the dawn of man, whom he holds in great contempt. The ceaseless noise of humanity and the ever-increasing barrage of media signals fill his head as though he were a satellite dish, causing unbearable agony that only booze and occasional slaughter can relieve. Unfortunately, as far as he can tell, he'll live in misery forever - nothing can kill him. Far away in New York City where crime, terrorism and senseless violence abound lives Beatrice (Sarah Polley). A young, sensible girl, Beatrice works in a low level job at a sensationalist TV news show where the world's catastrophes mean high ratings and bad news is good news. The "Boss" (Helen Mirren) constantly rails at her staff to find - or create - even worse news. Civilization's chaos reigns supreme. When Beatrice's boyfriend and his crew goes missing while on assignment to find the fabled Monster for a news story, Beatrice goes to look for him and comes face to face with the Monster herself. He's murdered her boyfriend and his crew, and will most likely do the same to her, but instead of setting her on fire or tearing her in two, she and the monster forge a tentative, cautious friendship. When the Monster confesses that there's only one chance for an end to his constant torment, Beatrice and he return to civilization to seek out modern-day mad scientist Dr. Artaud, the only man with the secret to ending the Monster's life. As the pair weathers the storm of publicity created by the Monster's arrival in New York, the media frenzy and ensuing fame threatens to throw Beatrice off course, leaving the Monster stranded and persecuted by government testing and endless talk show conjecture and questioning. When Beatrice comes to her senses and struggles to do what she set out to do, she's then forced to answer the hardest question of all: What if there were no monsters to believe in? From acclaimed writer/director Hal Hartley (The Unbelievable Truth), United Artists Films presents an American Zoetrope production (in association with The Icelandic Film Corporation and True Fiction Pictures) of NO SUCH THING, the offbeat, moving story of a cranky monster and the good-hearted girl who changes his life. Starring Sarah Polley (Go, The Sweet Hereafter), Robert John Burke (From the Earth to the Moon), Helen Mirren (Prime Suspect, The Madness of King George), and Julie Christie (Afterglow, Shampoo), the film was produced by Fridrik Thór Fridriksson, Hartley, and Cecilia Kate Roque, with executive producers Francis Ford Coppola, Linda Reisman and Willi Baer. The esteemed production team includes director of photography Michael Spiller (The House of Yes), production designer Árni Páll Jóhannsson (Children of Nature), editor Steve Hamilton (Trance), the music of Hal Hartley, and costume designer Helga I. Stefánsdóttir. -- © 2001 MGM/UA [More]
Starring: Robert John Burke, Sarah Polley, Helen Mirren, Julie Christie
Starring: Robert John Burke, Sarah Polley, Helen Mirren, Julie Christie, Erica Gimpel, Baltasar Kormákur
Director: Hal Hartley
Director: Hal Hartley
Screenwriter: Hal Hartley
Producer: Fridrik Thor Fridriksson, Hal Hartley, Cecilia Kate Roque
Composer: Hal Hartley
Studio: MGM/UA
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Reviews for No Such Thing
Instead of arresting a downward-spiralling career, Hartley's latest folly (one of the worst movies in Cannes 2001) shows what happens to an iconoclastic director when he neglects his intsinctive talent for small, quirly indies and goes uproariously big.
For a guy who has waited three years with breathless anticipation for a new Hal Hartley movie to pore over, No Such Thing is a big letdown.
Like the world of his film, Hartley created a monster but didn’t know how to handle it.
It's not a particularly good film, but neither is it a monsterous one.
Laced with liberal doses of dark humor, gorgeous exterior photography, and a stable-full of solid performances, No Such Thing is a fascinating little tale.
No Such Thing breaks no new ground and treads old turf like a hippopotamus ballerina.
A stirring, funny and finally transporting re-imagining of Beauty and the Beast and 1930s horror films
Can a philosophical monster movie work when it's not meant to be scary? Apparently indie bad boy Hal Hartley thinks so.
I watched the brainless insanity of No Such Thing with mounting disbelief.
No Such Thing may be far from perfect, but those small, odd Hartley touches help you warm to it.
So unique and stubborn and charismatic that you want it to be better and more successful than it is.
| Tomatometer Percentage | Movie |
|---|---|
| 14% 14% | The Ugly Truth |
| 98% 98% | Up |
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| Tomatometer Percentage | Movie |
|---|---|
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