Simon Says - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Simon Says Reviews

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thefog1331
Super Reviewer
½ August 24, 2007
Moron characters that you care about anyway a few minutes before they die, inventive kills, a high gory body count and a demented killer in the form of Crispin Glover.
THIS is how you make an entertaing slasher movie.
Super Reviewer
February 23, 2009
One of the worst Horror films ever made! It?s a complete rip off of other teen Horror movies with terrible acting and over the top clichés.

Honestly the chances are you have seen it all before!!
FiLmCrAzY
Super Reviewer
April 24, 2009
Terrible if te movie isnt bad enough its the acting but nithings is as annoying as that bloody accent its a pointless annoying horror that is typical of so many horrors
Super Reviewer
August 1, 2008
Pretty fucking awful. Crispin Glover has given some fine performances in the past but what the hell is this? He gives possibly the worst performance of the whole film. It's stupid as hell as well, with the ending seeing a girl burst through a charred corpse and the often mentioned magic pick axe machine. It's also pretty sick but not in a good way, although the dog death was hilarious.
Super Reviewer
June 7, 2011
A very good horror movie with a twisted plot.
Super Reviewer
October 21, 2011
You actually don't care if they die or not, oblivious, doesn't make any sense whatsoever, but it did try to show some effort.
shitfaced8
Super Reviewer
½ June 25, 2011
This film is as unimaginative and generic as it gets. It does however get two things right. Excellent death scenes and Crispin Glover plays a good psychopath. Worth a watch I guess, but definently doesn't demand repeated viewings.
Super Reviewer
October 25, 2007
This is a truly awful film. The writing, directing, editing, shot composition and acting (except by one particular fella) are terrible. But it's got 2 redeeming values, and boy are they redeeming. The kills and the awesome Crispin Glover. When someone gets Glover in a film it's like God visits them in a dream and personally blesses the film. There is no possible way that it can suck. Glover is a blast, overacting like hell and making up for the rest of the truly unwatchable characters. Honestly, the movie spends the first 40 something minutes on these teens and it takes a strong man not to run from the theater screaming like a Banshee. I'm sure if you were in the woods with these kids there, you'd decide to kill them as well. And speaking of killin', the majority of deaths in this film are pretty effin' great. Lots of gore in store for anyone who can make it past the first bit.
The movie's a complete mess, couldn't expect much else for the guy who did Harry and the Hendersons when he tries to make a horror film, but oh what a glorious mess it is.
September 19, 2015
Too bad he did not say don't watch,nice to see Glover though maybe next time in something interesting.
½ January 12, 2014
ok i actually liked the story yea it's been overdone but it had a twist but the actors that were chosen killed the movie for me
½ January 3, 2013
A buddy and I get together and watch bad horror movies. Simon Says was selected because of Crispin Glover but I think I can state that this was the worst thing that he has ever done.
½ January 18, 2012
The blood is the only reason why i gave this movie 1 and a half of a star the acting was kind of bad...really bad and the concept of the story seems...non original....poor movie. Probably shouldnt see this....
½ September 26, 2011
Chrispian Glover might actually be a decent actor, if he wasn't so hell bent on taking his weirdo charisma to the extreme. ''Simon Says'' even fails at being your typical slasher flick, because of it.
December 29, 2010
What is with the pick axe machine? Those scenes totally took me out of the film. The axes were coming from different directions, not from one machine like they would have you believe. Aside from that, Crispin's character was awful and needed a lot of research on mental disorders to make it interesting instead of annoying.
½ September 29, 2010
Simon Says is a completely idiotic, awful, and poorly made piece of horror cinema. Badly acted and cheesy as can you can imagine, Simon Says at least recognizes the itself as a piece of garbage that will only be enjoyed as comedy. Crispin Glover is amusingly maniacal and twisted in his portrayal of psychotic, backwoods, twin brothers, and the film does feature loads of gore and truly twisted moments. Despite being truly bloody and genuinely crazy, Simon Says still seems to drag. Despite its only being an hour and a half long, the film still feels like it could have been cut down more because its gags wear thin across the span of its running time. Ultimately, Simon Says is an entertaining, over-the-top piece of horror-comedy cinema, but it is also a tedious, tiresome, and forgettable film.
½ September 5, 2010
"Simon Says" starts with five college students on summer break riding on a country road in a van driven by their stoner friend. Ever seen that before? The formulaic introduction is a taste of things to come. "Simon Says" is a by-the-numbers affair, a serial killer stalks partying twenty-somethings flick that only deviates from the recipe used since the first "Friday the 13th" in the most minor of ways.

The deviation comes in the form of Crispin Glover playing what may or may not be psychopathic twins Stanley and Simon. Glover has matured as an actor into the Vincent Price of our day, chewing through scenery with remarkable overacting skill, and he can almost carry "Simon Says" on his own, but his performance is also very uneven here as he switches roles. The reveal that's being set up is one that most viewers will see coming from the very beginning of the flick, but it puts Glover in a situation that naturally makes him muddle through too many times to be believable. The rest of the cast is bland and textureless, young actors given stereotypical roles that we've all seen a hundred times and barely merit mention.

Stanley and Simon like booby traps. They've filled the woods with tripwires and rusty machinery adapted from old mining equipment. In the film's most memorable scenes, scores of pick axes fly through the air when a character sets off the traps. This happens twice in the middle of the film, quite close together. There are also a few scenes involving paintball players who stumble across the twins and are done in fairly gruesomely. These characters have clearly been dropped into the film to pad it; they play no role in the story and add nothing to it but an extra ten minutes of run time and three minutes of blood. The goriest scene of the film comes, of course, at the end, when the sole surviving main character literally bursts through the corpse of the stoner to attack Stanley/Simon with a meat cleaver. This, too, has been telegraphed, and one gets the feeling that his whole flick has been too hastily thrown together by this point. Things just don't seem to have been thought through at all... and that's the overall problem with "Simon Says." It's not terrible, it's just not all that interesting. Watching it is like watching somebody follow a recipe from a cookbook; the end product might be palatable, but you know exactly what you're getting long before the meal arrives at the table.

"Simon Says" is a bit of slasher fluff that seems to have been designed primarily to give Crispin Glover something to do for a couple of weeks. It's "Friday the 13th" with pick axes and a southern drawl. Fans of slasher films will likely find it passable entertainment, but nothing to rave about. If you're not already fond of the genre and not already a major fan of Crispin Glover, "Simon Says" won't make you think more highly of either.
September 4, 2010
In order to actually appreciate this movie, you first cannot take it seriously as a horror movie, it's just not a horror movie. It's more of a black comedy. Cripsin Glover provides the main character(s) and does so awkwardly, startlingly and hilariously. This is a must see for horror fans.
½ July 31, 2010
Crispin Glover is the ONLY positive thing about this film. The characters are such a typical "horror" casting that it's annoying. Glover will always shine in the role of a creepy psychopath. He plays the role of twins in the film, and while the general premise had potential, it was too over-the-top to be enjoyable. Don't waste your time!
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