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Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood

Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood (1996)

tomatometer

14

Average Rating: 3.1/10
Reviews Counted: 29
Fresh: 4 | Rotten: 25

Bordello of Blood is not as scary or funny as it thinks it is (or should've been), and all of Dennis Miller's lines sound like castoffs from his stand-up material.

14

Average Rating: 3.6/10
Critic Reviews: 7
Fresh: 1 | Rotten: 6

Bordello of Blood is not as scary or funny as it thinks it is (or should've been), and all of Dennis Miller's lines sound like castoffs from his stand-up material.

audience

32

liked it
Average Rating: 2.6/5
User Ratings: 33,786

My Rating

Movie Info

In this satirical horror-comedy, a gumshoe investigates a combination TV ministry/whorehouse/vampire infestation. After bounty hunter Vincent (Phil Fondacaro) unearths the remains of Lilith, queen of the vampires, he restores the alluring creature to life and lords over her using a magical talisman. Later, rowdy youngster Caleb Verdoux (Corey Feldman) convinces one of his dim-witted buddies to accompany him to a combination mortuary/house of ill repute where both young men fall prey to Lilith's

R,

Horror, Comedy

Oct 7, 2003

Universal Studios

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All Critics (29) | Top Critics (7) | Fresh (4) | Rotten (25) | DVD (2)

Adolescent boys might groove to the mix, but most other ticketbuyers will avoid this tawdry opus like the plague.

May 19, 2008 Full Review Source: Variety
Variety
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Triple the length of its cable television inspiration, Tales From the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood is triple the gore, triple the naked women, but not, alas, triple the fun.

January 22, 2002 Full Review Source: Washington Post
Washington Post
Top Critic IconTop Critic

What it lacks in irony and suspense, Gilbert Adler's Tales From the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood makes up for in whimsy and cheeky self-assurance.

February 21, 2001 Full Review Source: Los Angeles Times
Los Angeles Times
Top Critic IconTop Critic

This gory vampire spoof is remarkably free of jolts, hardly registering as a fright film, with a series of weak special effects involving many globs of guts.

January 1, 2000 Full Review Source: San Francisco Chronicle
San Francisco Chronicle
Top Critic IconTop Critic

This sickeningly puerile mess will be attractive only to teen boys who aren't too picky about special effects or scripts.

January 1, 2000
USA Today
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Vampires aren't the only things in Bordello of Blood that can't stand up to daylight. Neither can the plot.

January 1, 2000 Full Review Source: New York Times
New York Times
Top Critic IconTop Critic

Spends too much time on banking on Dennis Miller's snarky sense of humor to really allow the film to entertain as a sexy dark comedy...

October 20, 2012 Full Review Source: Cinema Crazed
Cinema Crazed

Bordello of Blood fails as anything but a gory T&A spectacle for the mouth-breather set.

July 6, 2010 Full Review Source: Georgia Straight

This is a travesty.

May 19, 2008 Full Review Source: TV Guide's Movie Guide
TV Guide's Movie Guide

The film is grisly enough to serve up some scant enjoyment as a slice of grand guignol, but it's otherwise just another dumb gore movie.

May 19, 2008 Full Review Source: Film4
Film4

This very guilty pleasure never produces much suspense, but I couldn't stop laughing at Dennis Miller's sardonic asides.

January 23, 2006
Fantastica Daily

... run-of-the-mill horror movie.

May 4, 2003 Full Review Source: Filmcritic.com
Filmcritic.com

Stupid, bloody excuse for gore, nothing more.

December 25, 2002
Journal and Courier (Lafayette, IN)

... the series' die-hard fans will be left wanting.

June 5, 2002 Full Review Source: Boxoffice Magazine
Boxoffice Magazine

For a horror-comedy film to work, it's got to be both funny and scary. Tales From the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood is neither.

January 1, 2000 Full Review Source: Deseret News, Salt Lake City
Deseret News, Salt Lake City

... never quite reaches the breathlessly mediocre heights of its predecessor, Demon Knight.

January 1, 2000 Full Review Source: Austin Chronicle
Austin Chronicle

... awful film.

January 1, 2000 Full Review Source: Cinematter
Cinematter

Bordello of Blood isn't much of a movie, though it suggests a new career for Miller, if he wants it: He could be a freelance ironist in other movie genres.

January 1, 2000 Full Review Source: eFilmCritic.com
eFilmCritic.com

Audience Reviews for Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood

A mediocre horror comedy with bad acting, Bordello of Blood is a lacking vampire yarn that has a good idea ruined with a terrible cast. This is a pointless attempt at a horror comedy, and the result is a mediocre film that is not memorable whatsoever. The film has really no meaning, and as a vampire film it fails. This film proves yet again that Dennis Miller plainly sucks. The film tries to be something entertaining, and sometimes it does work, but we see that the cast and filmmakers are trying to make something that really doesn't work well. The film is a poor attempt at a vampire tale, and it's quite forgettable. I really didn't enjoy this film, and I can name many other vampire films that are better than this one. Bordello of Blood is a forgettable horror comedy that is poorly crafted with minimal to no scares, and relies more on the gore factor to create horror. As far as vampire films are concerned, Bordello of Blood belongs in the same category as Twilight and all, the other failed vampire films. I lost interest in this film, and I thought it was a pretty lame film with no redeeming factors. Dennis Miller is terrible, and I don't even know why they asked him to be in this, I guess it was to make it entertaining. Well, this film is quite frankly a missed opportunity at being an entertaining vampire film. Boring, uninspired and bad, Bordello of Blood won't appeal to die hard vampire film fans. I was very disappointed with this one. Considering the casting of Chris Sarandon from Fright Night, I was expecting something great, instead it was a boring film.
October 2, 2011
TheDudeLebowski65
Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski

Super Reviewer

Another tongue cheek blood n guts rampage this time including lots of tits n ass too :) so its pretty darn good then haha. An unoriginal vampire tale this time, set in a brothel with lots of ladies eating biker types much like 'From Dusk Till Dawn' or 'Vamp' but nowhere near as good.

Plot is pretty standard but like the previous Crypt flick is does have a wonderful array of makeup and prosthetic effects all over the show with blood squirting and fangs flying, nothing you haven't seen before but it looks good. Casting is drab but does include 80's horror comedy star Sarandon and 80's teen star Feldman both of which raise the film slightly, Angie Everhart looks delicious as 'Lilith'.

You know what your gonna get with this franchise so your gonna love it or hate it, personally I see these films as an oppertunity to view good examples of horror makeup/effects normally without much cgi, plus they are always good fun on a no brainer level.
August 26, 2011
phubbs1

Super Reviewer

A cool vampire movie from Tales from the Crypt, it's like an episode of the show, but longer. It has a nice cast, it's funny, and my favourite of the movies based off the show.
July 9, 2011
ajv2688

Super Reviewer

Well actually this should be a Horror, but it is more a Horro/Comedy. Nice for some lols
December 8, 2009
ScoopOnline
Wahida K

Super Reviewer

There are no approved quotes yet for this movie.

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