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Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood (1996)

Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood


Average Rating: 3.1/10
Reviews Counted: 29
Fresh: 4
Rotten: 25

Critics Consensus: Bordello of Blood is not as scary or funny as it thinks it is (or should've been), and all of Dennis Miller's lines sound like castoffs from his stand-up material.

Average Rating: 3.6/10
Reviews Counted: 7
Fresh: 1
Rotten: 6

Critics Consensus: Bordello of Blood is not as scary or funny as it thinks it is (or should've been), and all of Dennis Miller's lines sound like castoffs from his stand-up material.


Average Rating: 2.6/5
User Ratings: 33,794


Movie Info

In this satirical horror-comedy, a gumshoe investigates a combination TV ministry/whorehouse/vampire infestation. After bounty hunter Vincent (Phil Fondacaro) unearths the remains of Lilith, queen of the vampires, he restores the alluring creature to life and lords over her using a magical talisman. Later, rowdy youngster Caleb Verdoux (Corey Feldman) convinces one of his dim-witted buddies to accompany him to a combination mortuary/house of ill repute where both young men fall prey to Lilith's … More

Horror , Comedy
Directed By:
In Theaters:
Oct 7, 2003
Universal Studios


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Critic Reviews for Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood

All Critics (29) | Top Critics (7) | Fresh (4) | Rotten (25) | DVD (2)

Adolescent boys might groove to the mix, but most other ticketbuyers will avoid this tawdry opus like the plague.

Full Review… | May 19, 2008
Top Critic

Triple the length of its cable television inspiration, Tales From the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood is triple the gore, triple the naked women, but not, alas, triple the fun.

Full Review… | January 22, 2002
Washington Post
Top Critic

What it lacks in irony and suspense, Gilbert Adler's Tales From the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood makes up for in whimsy and cheeky self-assurance.

Full Review… | February 21, 2001
Los Angeles Times
Top Critic

This gory vampire spoof is remarkably free of jolts, hardly registering as a fright film, with a series of weak special effects involving many globs of guts.

Full Review… | January 1, 2000
San Francisco Chronicle
Top Critic

This sickeningly puerile mess will be attractive only to teen boys who aren't too picky about special effects or scripts.

January 1, 2000
USA Today
Top Critic

Vampires aren't the only things in Bordello of Blood that can't stand up to daylight. Neither can the plot.

Full Review… | January 1, 2000
New York Times
Top Critic

Spends too much time on banking on Dennis Miller's snarky sense of humor to really allow the film to entertain as a sexy dark comedy...

Full Review… | October 20, 2012
Cinema Crazed

Bordello of Blood fails as anything but a gory T&A spectacle for the mouth-breather set.

Full Review… | July 6, 2010

This is a travesty.

Full Review… | May 19, 2008
TV Guide's Movie Guide

The film is grisly enough to serve up some scant enjoyment as a slice of grand guignol, but it's otherwise just another dumb gore movie.

Full Review… | May 19, 2008

This very guilty pleasure never produces much suspense, but I couldn't stop laughing at Dennis Miller's sardonic asides.

January 23, 2006
Fantastica Daily

... run-of-the-mill horror movie.

Full Review… | May 4, 2003

Stupid, bloody excuse for gore, nothing more.

December 25, 2002
Journal and Courier (Lafayette, IN)

... the series' die-hard fans will be left wanting.

Full Review… | June 5, 2002
Boxoffice Magazine

For a horror-comedy film to work, it's got to be both funny and scary. Tales From the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood is neither.

Full Review… | January 1, 2000
Deseret News, Salt Lake City

... never quite reaches the breathlessly mediocre heights of its predecessor, Demon Knight.

Full Review… | January 1, 2000
Austin Chronicle

... awful film.

Full Review… | January 1, 2000

Bordello of Blood isn't much of a movie, though it suggests a new career for Miller, if he wants it: He could be a freelance ironist in other movie genres.

Full Review… | January 1, 2000

Audience Reviews for Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood

Another tongue in cheek blood 'n' guts rampage this time including lots of tits 'n' ass its pretty darn good then. An unoriginal vampire tale this time, set in a brothel with lots of ladies eating biker types much like 'From Dusk Till Dawn' or 'Vamp' but nowhere near as good.

Plot is pretty standard but like the previous Crypt flick is does have a wonderful array of makeup and prosthetic effects all over the show with blood squirting and fangs flying, nothing you haven't seen before but it looks good. Casting is drab but does include 80's horror comedy star Sarandon and 80's teen star Feldman both of which raise the film slightly, Angie Everhart looks delicious as 'Lilith'.

You know what your gonna get with this franchise so your either gonna love it or hate it. Personally I view these films as a great opportunity to see fantastic examples of hands-on horror makeup effects, normally without much CGI, plus they are always good fun on a no-brainer level.

Phil Hubbs

Super Reviewer

A mediocre horror comedy with bad acting, Bordello of Blood is a lacking vampire yarn that has a good idea ruined with a terrible cast. This is a pointless attempt at a horror comedy, and the result is a mediocre film that is not memorable whatsoever. The film has really no meaning, and as a vampire film it fails. This film proves yet again that Dennis Miller plainly sucks. The film tries to be something entertaining, and sometimes it does work, but we see that the cast and filmmakers are trying to make something that really doesn't work well. The film is a poor attempt at a vampire tale, and it's quite forgettable. I really didn't enjoy this film, and I can name many other vampire films that are better than this one. Bordello of Blood is a forgettable horror comedy that is poorly crafted with minimal to no scares, and relies more on the gore factor to create horror. As far as vampire films are concerned, Bordello of Blood belongs in the same category as Twilight and all, the other failed vampire films. I lost interest in this film, and I thought it was a pretty lame film with no redeeming factors. Dennis Miller is terrible, and I don't even know why they asked him to be in this, I guess it was to make it entertaining. Well, this film is quite frankly a missed opportunity at being an entertaining vampire film. Boring, uninspired and bad, Bordello of Blood won't appeal to die hard vampire film fans. I was very disappointed with this one. Considering the casting of Chris Sarandon from Fright Night, I was expecting something great, instead it was a boring film.

Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski

Super Reviewer

A cool vampire movie from Tales from the Crypt, it's like an episode of the show, but longer. It has a nice cast, it's funny, and my favourite of the movies based off the show.

AJ Verser

Super Reviewer

Well actually this should be a Horror, but it is more a Horro/Comedy. Nice for some lols

Wahida K

Super Reviewer

Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood Quotes

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