The Terminators Reviews
After the first CGI disappeared and the first scene with people on a set begun, I realized that this is going really bad. It's strange that you can imagine how bad a movie will be already after a few seconds.
I've seen some bad movie's from the 50's and 60's, they are great masterworks compared to The Terminators. Maybe in 200 years this movie is cult, but only in a future with the people from "Idiocracy".
I'll be straight forward, this is one of those low budget movies that uses having a similar title to ride the shirt tales of a better done high budget film. The production values and SFX of this DTH release are right around the level I would allow for made for TV productions. This wasn't really made for TV though, DTH is something different. The plot is unoriginal to say the least. The acting is not really anything to write about. The music score is mostly useless. I just can't recommend that anyone take up their time viewing this one.
Notes: GV Suggested Age: 13+
Warning, some spoilers below:
Basically this one muscular older guy plays all the TR4 units that malfunction, because the TR5, a computer that runs them, decides to attack humans from a space station orbiting Earth. So it sends hundreds of them in transports down to Earth, and then they spread out and go about killing people with hand guns. And normal guns don't work against them. So everyone's helpless, and for some reason, the military didn't build any weapons that could work, not that you actually see an army at all in this movie, just some corporate teams sent up to stop the main computer in some ships, with the shotguns and handguns that can't stop the TR4s.
And for some reason, the corporation that runs them finds out they're going crazy, sends those teams up, and never bother to arm themselves to protect themselves from the TR4s, because one breaks into their command center and slaughters everyone with a semi-automatic.
A few people just stood around while he slaughtered the others then also got shot, never even running out or taking cover. That's good acting, standing there with a blank expression on your face as people are being shot around you. You also don't hear from the raiding teams at all until many many MANY hours pass, towards the end of the movie.
So the TR4s that arrive on Earth are killing a bunch of people, who are getting shot with handguns or brutally beat to death. A few of them get the super "ahnold" punch through the gut, one guy got his face pummeled to death, and some of the main characters with a sense enough to hide gather in a building.
One particular group, all have handguns, semi-automatics, and shotguns. They begin talking frantically, freaking out, about the unstoppable killer robots, that a stiff, not very emotional Sheriff comes across. They somehow survive and group up with handguns. (You'd think they survived, because they were able to arm themselves. However, bullets don't hurt the TR4s, so anyone that would use them to save themselves, would be shot down.)
I have no clue how these guys ended up armed and how they gathered in some ratty warehouse. So of course, the Sheriff tells them to quiet, because their arguing causes a lot of echoing, and it attracts a TR4, he shoots one of them in the head right away and gets shot up, and nothing hurts him, so they run off. The core of the movie is them running and getting picked off one at a time.
Oh, and evidently, Earth invents really advanced robot androids, has crappy rundown space stations and space ships, but everyone still lives in a normal today era city, with cars from the 80's to now. Fuel cells for spaceships look like canisters of propane tanks. Like for a gas grill. That's fuel efficient. Cars work like they do in today's era, evidently we decided to put all our efforts into synthetic buff middle aged androids.
Outside of these people, the movie barely show or tell us about the outside world. A radio tells us some major cities were destroyed. Anyhow, the idiots that struggle to survive, the Sheriff, who's very stiff and calm, and the others who freak out, they eventually get found, driving in some van out in the woods, by 3 TR4s! And as they're about to die, the robots are zapped, and a guy in a military outfit calling himself Reese. Yes, his name is Reese.
He pops out, holding a very big sci-fi looking gun, that shoots lightning sometimes, other times, it shoots laser pulses, depends on the bad Special Effects department responsible for the glittery beams. They seem to stop the TR4s cold, who literally just freeze and stand still when shot, a very anti-climatic way of stopping them.
Evidently, some weird recluse living in a cabin in the woods has a sci-fi gun that can stop them. So what's left of the group cling to him for the rest of the movie and he decides to steal a ship to get up to the space station to stop and save what's left of the world!
The group that arrive on the space station has been whittled down to five. Mainly because the futuristic big gun that can stop the TR4s is rarely used. Maybe Reese was saving his shots. More people die. Mostly when they're side tracked getting fuel for their space ship.
Once on the station, they leave the Sheriff behind because his stiff acting turns out to be clues that he's a different kind of TR. (Something easily guessed by mid-movie.) The remaining three zap a few TR4s on the way to the main computer and arrive at a terminal. As Reese tries to shut it down, he informs everyone it's fighting back and resisting his commands. A TR4 then bitch slaps the jaw off one of the remaining survivors.
Then the TR4s all power down. Apparently, they needed more people to die, because one of the assault teams mentioned at the beginning of the movie finally shows up and joins the survivors. Armed with their useless normal guns, we learn that they hid somewhere on the station this whole time. Their team is the only team that makes it.
This leads to a finale, where something that looks like a Cylon is released to kill off everyone. There's a comical moment where two of the assault team flash their useless guns about, saying they're in it untill the end. This is followed shortly by the Cylon-Robot sneaking up behind them and zapping them with its laser cannons. Reese and his fancy gun is useless against it. He death is anti-climatic and almost an afterthought.
The TR Sheriff appears and rescues the lead actress from the Cylon, sacrificing himself in the process. The TR4s reactivate to kill the remaining last two dimwitted girls. A particularly stupid blonde manages to literally pull the plug off a control box that deactivates the TR4s. She flicked the TR lever to Off and ripped the chord out.
This is how the movie ends, with the remaining two girls breathing heavily and sobbing, trapped on the deactivated space station. Then the credits roll.
I just have to assume they're stuck up there. Neither are qualified to fly a ship back down to Earth. Just a horrible ending to a horrible movie.
take out the disk and slap yourself for
watching this horrible movie.
After you slap yourself,
Unplug your DVD player and smash it with a METAL baseball bat. Then visit the doctor and tell him/her that you watched The Termintaors film.
I hope the doctor will understand that you watched this stupid movie.
(Please Follow Instructions)
I have been critical of Asylum for their obvious attempts at cashing in on people's ignorance, but I have to admit that I am at least impressed that their efforts have worked. Their profits have totaled in the billions somehow, and they continue to pump out movie after movie, all up to their usual standards of course. I'm sure that the title of The Terminators should make it easy to see what franchise this film is trying to cash in on, so I won't ramble on too much longer about how this studio has shady practices.
It's not saying much, but I can say that The Terminators is one of Asylum's more well put together pieces of garbage. The movie does sport better production values than I've come to expect from them, and the computer effects (while not Oscar worthy) are better than previous films. But, like with all their films, The Terminators is packaged with more bad than good. And the end result is just a half-assed attempt at making money off the release of Terminator Salvation.
The Terminators is a funny movie, but in an unintentional kind of way. While the story didn't interest me, nor did any of the cookie cutter characters, I was amused with all the flaws in the film. I really enjoyed watching people getting shot, where bullets made no damage on the way in, but had explosive exits out of the body. And I like how a space ship apparently can be gassed up with a cylinder no bigger than what a scuba diver would use for oxygen. And why exactly are the spaceships in the film equipped with guns in the first place? Was this just to allow there to be space battles in the film?
The movie steals a lot of things from other science fiction movies. The space station the film opens up in, and finishes in, resembles the one in 2001 A Space Odyssey. There is a more advanced robot that reminded me a little of General Grievous from Revenge of the Sith, and the movie's structure felt similar to Aliens vs. Predator 2 (not that this was a good movie itself). But I shouldn't be surprised at this film ripping off other science fiction films, since the studio is just one giant rip off. This is just another terrible movie from a studio that spends more time on making the covers of their DVD's more exciting than the actual movie inside.