Dünyayi kurtaran adam (The Man Who Saves the World) (Turkish Star Wars) Reviews
As good as I've heard. Truly unbelievable in it's craziness.
FINAL FERDICT 4/10
This Turkish production (as if you didn't already know that) is not some sort of remake, nor does it resemble the original 1977 film in any way, shape, or form, with none of the characters resembling, or having the same name (or any names at all), of the Lucas game changer. What it does have in common though- this movie liberally takes the space dogfights and rear projects them behind our heroes in the beginning (with a bit of footage scattered throughout), to simulate them being in a space battle, during which they are shot down and they crash land onto a desert world. A note about this entire beginning- it's damn near impossible to follow what the hell is going on.
A-Wings, X-Wings, Y-Wings, and TIE Fighters all abound, but hell if I know which ships our intrepid heroes are in, as things like continuity, establishing shots, logic, sense, and just plain good filmmaking are absent here. The rear projections are some of the worst you are going to see, and the dialogue makes little sense-
Hero 1- Base, I'm ascending now.
Cut to some SW footage of X-Wings descending.
Hero 2- I'm ascending too.
Thanks movie! Thanks for getting the -cending prefixes wrong, and thanks for stating what you are doing so blatantly. I do not need introductions to characters, nor do I need any reason for why they are fighting.
That's a big thing here, fyi, lack of any clear motivation. The Wizard, as he is simply known , but only in the last third of the movie, our main bad guy, simply wants to take over Earth, why? Because he's the bad guy, duh! But, for some reason he's focusing all his powers on the desert planet, which has the pyramids and the sphinx, for no discernible reason. Also, parts of the Earth have been disintegrated off, again, for no sensical reason.
Anyways, so Hero 1 and 2 (although 2 is eventually given the name Ali, but for the first hour, neither of them have names) are wandering around when, due to "the wrong kind of whistling", an army of proto-skeleton guys shows up out of nowhere and a fight, which recycles the same three shots at least 4 times each, and in the first of many hilariously silly fight scenes where the punches and kicks clearly are 5 inches away from the target, this one is a highlight simply because the skeleton guys are on horses and still get their asses handed to them despite that they have weapons (vs. our heroes fists), and a clear tactical advantage in that they should know the terrain. However, I am being logical, and if there was ever anything created by man that absolutely, outright refused to be burdened by logic, or it's numerous applications, it's most assuredly, Turkish Star Wars.
Anyways, the two are-they-aren't-they lovers (aka our heroes) eventually stumble upon a small group of maybe humans, and Hero 1 eye-fucks this girl, so intently that I was wondering if this wasn't going to become more of a Silence of the Lambs knock off, but then I realized, that's just what our hero does. He eye-fucks everything- rocks, people, space, bad guys, empty air, swords, brains, 2-dimensions, and everything else you can possible imagine that can be seen.
Anyways, after five minutes of falling in love with the girl, and Hero 2, aka Ali, might have fallen for her younger brother, it's awkward, and makes little sense, we are treated to the most nerve shattering, nonsensical, aneurism causing, head scratching, nausea inducing line ever put to anything ever, also, did I mention it's about the funniest freaking thing ever uttered by a human!!
Our heroes are leaving, to somewhere, some place, and Hero 2 says, "She's fallen in love with you."
Hero 1's response is the much to do about line - "No, she just realized the beauty of feeling. She's realized she's human."
Well, what in the living, goddamned hell did she think she was before??!! She's clearly human, as she's not a mummy- yes mummies are in this movie- nor a red monster thing, nor a brown monster thing, nor one of the proto-skeleton guys, nor one of the weird ass robots guys the Wizard keeps around.
Hell, just a few minutes beforehand they call her and her brother human! So what on god's green earth did she think she was? A freaking sentient carrot? Maybe an overly large and featherless bird? What the hell?
Also, I laughed for about five minutes straight at this line.
Oh, so about the whole 2D, sword, and brain thing, um, in a Muslim/ Catholic temple (yes, it's a combo of both, please don't ask), is a spiky sword that I swear to the powers that be, is in only 2 dimensions. Swear it! Also, when you combine the brain and the sword, Ali will die, but Hero 1 gets bronze colored pleather gloves and boots, that allow him to trampoline jump (something he's fond of doing) over anyone, and block their attacks, and rip the "Yo Gabba Gabba" rejects in half. It's all as silly as it sounds.
Speaking of sounds, this movie "borrows" music from Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Flash Gordon (wish I were kidding about this one), and Halloween.
As a movie, it fails on every conceivable level, but for a howlingly damn good time, as long as you don't bring logic, sense, or any intelligence to the proceedings, you just might enjoy it.
Anyway, this movie is extremely turkish, it's sexist, and funny thing about it is that it's supposed to be happening in a piece of Earth that survived and that place happens to be Capadocia (Turkey)... oh, well... I didn't plan to write so much or even expect to be understood, so what the hell should I care.
If u watch it roll a splif and chill.
The actual filmed footage however was just insulting to the eyes.
Although, I do like the title credits music, it's so glorious, I want it as my ringtone.
All right story - stupid and fitting as it blends the weird with the known story of "Star Trek". It's a cool character that "Turist" guy. I dug him. The shapeshift thing is also a treat. "Italian Spiderman" comes to mind here - production-wise, but I liked that one a whole lot better. I believe I lost out of much fun caused by translation issues here.
A foreign cult classic that's just simple fun, but I was hoping for more.
4.5 out of 10 salt grains
"interpretation" of Star Wars is possibly one of the "best" bad movies ever made.