Valentine - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Valentine Reviews

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Super Reviewer
June 1, 2008
9% of critics liked this movie? That's sad and an awfully high number I think. The people who actually did like this pathetic waste of time are either Angel fans or anyone who still thinks Denise Richards is hot. Don't bother watching this shit. Go to the park, shake up bottles of soda and throw them at the ground cap-first to watch them fly into the air. That is a much better way to spend your time.
Super Reviewer
½ June 9, 2010
Valentine is one of the better films in the teen horror genres, yeah I know. Even though the film is a better take on a tired genre in horror, it doesn't necessarily mean thats its a good film, far from it. The actors are terrible, and the script is lacking in effective scares, but what it does have is plenty of horrific death scenes, which I thought were pretty original. Valentine is a teen version of a slasher film during a holiday, unfortunately, Valentine's Day has already been covered in the horror, by a film called My Bloody Valentine. A different take on a holiday that has already been done in the past, but unfortunately Valentine lacks the memorable themes presented in My Bloody Valentine, which will always remain a classic and the superior slasher flick set during Valentine's Day.
Super Reviewer
½ August 21, 2009
Pathetically awful in every way. As a slasher, it is devoid of any gruesome, original or uncomfortable death scenes. They are just so plain and ordinary. The kills are also few and far between and some of them are thrown in for no reason. The identity of the killer is so obvious they may as well have told you at the beginning. The main characters are also portrayed as the same bitchy girls they were at school, making them less sympathetic than the killer. It's too concerned with trying to trick you, but failing to realise that it's audience aren't as clueless as the makers would like to believe. This has nothing for fans of the genre or fans of cinema. Making it instantly disposable.
Super Reviewer
½ January 16, 2008
Trashy horror saved by the fact that it knows it is trashy and has a decent cast. I quite liked it.
Super Reviewer
½ September 1, 2008
It is the late 1980's. At a high school dance, young nerdish-looking Jeremy Melton is spurned & insulted by every girl he asks to dance, except one named Dorothy. Later they start making out under the bleachers until a group of bullies discover them, and Dorothy says Jeremy attacked her. The boys further humiliate Jeremy by violently assaulting him & pulling off his clothes. About 12 years later, those same girls are in their twenties and enjoying the dating scene. But Jeremy has mysteriously disappeared. After one of the girls, Shelley (Heigl) has a date with an arrogant loser, she is savagely murdered in her medical school's anatomy lab by a tall, sinister man dressed in a dark coat and wearing a cherub mask. Just before her death, Shelley received a threatening Valentine's Day card. The other girls soon start receiving similar cards shortly after, and one at a time, they start dying violently. When police inform them that Jeremy Melton has not been seen or heard from for many years, Dorothy (Capshaw) speculates that he may have had plastic surgery and worked out to change his appearance. Kate (Shelton) has recently found herself a new boyfriend (Boreanaz) but Dorothy suspects he may in fact be Jeremy, using his new look to get close to the girls who spurned him so many years before...and seeking revenge...

Valentine fits along the lines of the horrible batch of "teen horror" movies. This one tries so hard to take itself seriously, but ends up becoming a tiring, dull, cliche ridden movie. The plot is ripped-off from countless other movies that came before it. A young boy at a junior high school dance, gets tortured by his classmates. As we all know he comes back when everyone is all grown up to murder them. The acting is fake and uninspired, greatly lacking suspense or much action for that matter.

There are minor things that save this movie from a complete zero, and that is some of the killing scenes are nicely done, and the plot twist at the end (which looks like it was just thrown in at the last minute really).

But overall, a terrible unoriginal movie.

Super Reviewer
½ October 4, 2007
This was pretty crappy. It really should have been straight to video. The cast was weak and really seemed to know they were making a hunk of crap.
Super Reviewer
September 24, 2007
so dumb
Super Reviewer
July 5, 2007
Valentine is a flawed horror movie. At a Valentine's Dance, junior high students play an embarrassing prank on one of their classmates. Several years later, a killer wearing a goofy "baby boy" cherub mask starts killing all the pretty girls in gruesome ways with a Valentine theme. In the style of "Scream" and "I Know What You Did Last Summer" group of hip teen horrors, we have clever dialogue, hot young stars, pop music, and brutal inventive killings, all with a whodunnit mystery plot. It's not too scary. There are some unintentionally funny scenes. The revelation of the killer is interesting, and they've even left the door open for a sequel. I won't buy this on DVD, but it was a fun enough watch.
Super Reviewer
July 3, 2007
Average slasher thriller. Not even average actually. I think the film makes you hate all the dumb girls so much, you actually become on the side of the killer. This film is too predictable for my liking and very repetitive. I mean how many times does each character have to shout 'Hello, Anyone there?' when they hear a strange noise. At the end I was just waiting for the guys nose to bleed, it was so simple. Give it a miss.
Super Reviewer
March 11, 2007
A good, cool, sexy slasher film. If you like Scream, Urban Legends you'll like this to.
Super Reviewer
December 28, 2006
Not only do I hold Wes Craven reponsible for the garbage HE produces, I also hold him responsible for the garbage he inspires. Probably finished David Boreanaz' movie career before it even started.
Super Reviewer
½ November 15, 2006
Very good stylish horror picture of love revenge.
Super Reviewer
July 3, 2006
The entire horror genre has evolved and left movies like this behind. All you can do is chuckle as you watch this cliche ridden peice of drivel and the incredibly cheeseball performances of everyone involved. *Sigh*
Super Reviewer
October 2, 2011
I really enjoyed this one. I thought the antagonist was creepy, and some death scenes were pretty clever as well. But the problem is that it tries TOO much to be like "Scream" or "I Know What You Did Last Summer," that it just makes it look like a major rip-off. It was also very slow-paced, especially towards the middle. But i still liked it and thought it was a pretty neat slasher flick.
Horrific R.
Super Reviewer
February 16, 2013
An explicitly bad film. It's under the mystery & suspense / horror category, but trust, me the film lacks much of either. Just some soft expected gore here and there. I had no interest the first time I watched through this film, and I had no interest the second either. There is no captivating plot, suspense, or anything. It is a mindless film that fails to follow even the most basic of formulas. Don't watch this.
Super Reviewer
May 15, 2010
A stalker sends creepy valentines day cards to the four friends. Apparebntly the stalker is someone all four of them know and the situation turns morbid as the stalker starts a killing spree. I thought the movie was very predictanle.
Super Reviewer
½ July 3, 2006
Idiotic from start to relieving finish. I really think that slasher films will run out of ways to butcher topless girls eventually.
Super Reviewer
½ August 28, 2013
It's actually not entirely bad, it did manage to have some memorable moments but the plot was way too formulaic, cliche to the extreme. It is however, somewhat better than most slasher films these days. Valentine may be watched but soon forgotten about.
Super Reviewer
April 11, 2010
Nothing new, nothing original, no interesting death scenes. The acting was funny and didn't give the all around sense of it being a slasher film, the story seemed skewed and a bit too predictable.
Super Reviewer
½ August 7, 2007
A killer that wears a cupid mask starts to go after 4 friends. They think it's a kid that they went to school with. I forget why, but I think they pranked him at a valentine dance.

The movie is decent, but the My Bloody Valentine 3-D is a lot better.
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