Vampire Academy Reviews

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Super Reviewer
December 12, 2014
The banter and back-story may be a bit too hastily presented to be entirely effective, but I still found the film entertaining and surprisingly funny.
Super Reviewer
½ February 8, 2014
This was freaking awful, and not in a good way. I could barely follow it, and I read and enjoyed the series when it first came out. Lots of dumb action and woefully miscast. I did not picture Dimitri like that at all, and as soon as someone I watched this with said that Rose was acting like Kat Dennings's 2 Broke girls character, Max, it was all I could hear. (And I like 2bg).
Super Reviewer
½ May 30, 2014
Based on the best-selling young adult book series, Vampire Academy is a convoluted and monotonous tale. A half vampire, half human named Rose must protect a vampire princess from a mysterious assailant that's stalking her. The script is incredibly weak; as it's full of exposition dumps that try to explain the vampire social order and provide some ambiguous backstories for several key characters. And, the acting isn't that good either; though Zoey Deutch does have a certain charisma. Yet the vampire mythology is quite intriguing, and there's a good amount of mystery to the plot. Vampire Academy is clearly trying to cash in on the recent popularity of young adult fantasy, but it doesn't put forth much effort into making a quality product.
Super Reviewer
½ March 4, 2014
College-like setting hits its stride in the second half.
Super Reviewer
February 8, 2014
Even with an 11% rating on RT, I have to admit that Vampire Academy was entertaining in a "guilty pleasure" kind of way. I'll watch it on HBO or whatever it comes on down the road. With both the writer and director (Daniel and Mark Waters), if you know them, you're getting what you would expect from them, which isn't a movie that warrants a sequel. If they'd have been more cautious finding a better writer and director in anticipation of getting a franchise going, Vampire Academy could be a heavy alternative to the big summer movies this year. The story was choppy and the only thing that kept it flowing was the acting. Particularly Zoey Deutch. Her and Lucy Fry are transitioning from TV to film, and Deutch does an amazing job. Even with the mediocre script and barely OK plot, Zoey Deutch flashes a great big screen presence. Lucy Fry does pretty good, along with the rest of the cast. I wouldn't bet on a part 2 hitting the big screen anytime soon. Vampire Academy is definitely worth watching on a movie channel down the road for a laugh.
½ May 21, 2014
Rose is your typical sassy high school girl until you realize that she is part vampire and attends a "special" school full of elitist royal vampires. This movie is chock full of vampires, good and bad, but the plot is full of holes and you can see that end coming from the time the movie starts.
August 30, 2014
I do not understand why everybody hated this movie it is a great movie and NO you don't have to read the novel to understand the movie. After I watched this movie I then wanted to read the novel because of how good the movie was
April 8, 2014
Sadly, this movie disappointed me terribly, as I was expecting a lot more from it. Despite its simplicity the plot was hard to follow. At least Zoey Deutch is pretty to look at. Also, it was worth watching the movie, just so that I could watch the few scenes with Cameron Monaghan, which were amazing.
½ July 23, 2014
(1/2 Star) Well, this was a horrible idea. I don't know what compelled me to watch Vampire Academy, especially since I think vampires are extremely lame at this point in human history.

There is a dump truck that dumps dump trucks of exposition in the first couple scenes in the movie. That seems to be a common problem with adapting young adult novels, even the good ones. There's so much backstory to cover but you also have to introduce these characters to a movie audience. The two dumb vampire girls (sorry, one vampire, one dhampir who looks like Juno) dialogue seems so forced with backstory in these scenes, that it dooms itself from the beginning of being interesting.

I can't really blame Zoey Deutch for looking like Ellen Page, but she copies nearly everything from Juno other than the fetus. And you thought Juno's bad pop culture references were forced. And there are male characters, but most of the movie you spend wondering if they're the same white guy or a different one.

There's a hugely predictable twist that's almost surprising solely because of its predictability. I can't remember anything really special about the movie other than "It's the girl from Modern Family." Vampire Academy is a sad and uninteresting cash-in of Twilight, but luckily, everyone knew that, so no one saw it.
June 18, 2014
Got dragged into seeing this with a friend and oh man did I regret it. So amazingly bad. This is definitely one of the worst sci-fi/fantasy films I've ever seen. The writing is's just one dreadful sarcastic line after another. What a waste of time.
June 6, 2014
This is good for nothing more than background noise, unless your idea of a good vampire movie is watching a bunch of teenagers snark at each other. Honestly, that's all there is. I'm not sure why there was so much hype about this, but it's certainly not because it's a good movie.
June 2, 2014
It tries to be Harry Potter meets Twilight, but misses the mark completely. The main character is hard to get used to and the plot is rushed with scenes ending as fast as they started. It tries to be the non-Twilight teen movie, but it is just as bad and just as cheesy. They even end it on a cliffhanger like there are going to be multiple sequels to this hot mess. Maybe the book is better, but this adaptation doesn't make the grade.

Grade: C-
January 18, 2014
½ April 23, 2014
Quite horrible. The book was decent so not sure how they messed this up so badly. But I did like the main actress. I'd watch her in something else.
½ May 20, 2014
I had some expectations for Vampire Academy since the director is none other than Mark Waters, who dazzled us all a decade ago with the excellent Mean Girls, and it was written by his brother, Daniel Waters, who scripted the high school classic, Heathers. A sure thing? Nope. Vampire Academy is scary all right. Scarily boring. It's as if the studio has something on the Waters brothers that forced them to make this swill. That can be the only explanation. Taken from the YA series (six books) by Richelle Mead, Vampire Academy is desperate to be the dark sister of Twilight, but only inspires massive dullness. The premise alone takes what seems like an eternity as we must learn the bland history of St. Vladimir's Academy in rural Montana, a school run by headmistress Kirova (Olga Kurylenko), Queen Tatiana (Joley Richardson) and the elder Victor (Gabriel Byrne). Good actors, terrible decisions. No matter how much vampire Lissa (Lucy Fry)and her guardian Rose (Zoey Dutch) want out they keep getting coerced back in. That's it for ideas. The rest is lame jokes. Put a stake in this one forever.
½ May 3, 2014
Basically another Twilight is about to happen. It makes fun of Twilight though, so that is okay I guess. You have to watch it more than once or read the books to actually get everything out of the movie. You will miss little things that actually help the story out if you aren't familiar with it. Like missing Edward was listening in on people, you will miss the main characters having private conversations. Other than that, it was pretty good. You get your vampire fights and gore mixed in with the high school drama.
February 10, 2014
Sometimes a movie is so terrible it transcends the worst rating possible, and instead receives a full 5 star review. Vampire Academy is that movie. There is nothing redeeming about this film, but every piece of terrible filmmaking works together to create a perfect storm of awesome terribleness. I don't know if director Mark Waters and his big brother, who provided the script, intended this movie to be a parody of everything wrong with the current, vampire-obsessed culture, while at the same time being a film that is the worst example of the culture, but that's exactly what this is.

Vampire Academy wants to be really smart, snarky, and witty, unfortunately it's not that smart. However, you've never seen self-aware teenagers as hilariously and ridiculously stupid as you have here. Rose, the protagonist of this story, spouts so much sophomoric dialogue that you can't even begin to believe this is something a teenager would say. The screenwriter doesn't even seem to think the dialogue is that catchy, because he forces the characters to repeat key lines over and over again, hoping it will catch on.

But the dialogue isn't the best/worst part, what really fails/succeeds here is the overcomplicated universe, which I guess is credited to the source material. Why are there so many classes of vampires? Why are there so many details to this world that don't amount to anything? The world building is so stupid, yet complete, that you have to fall in love with what's going on.

I will give the cast credit here, they are completely sold out to making this movie work, and they totally do. If you want to see a bunch of talented actors, and some really terrible ones, give themselves completely to one of the most ridiculous dialogue and plot ever put to paper, see this movie! It was so fun to watch these words actually come out of people's mouths.

The action is incomprehensible. I never know what's going on in any action sequence, and Waters seems incapable of crafting an action sequence that really works. As incomprehensible as the action is, most of the character motivations are as well. I never knew why almost anyone was doing what they were doing, and when it was explained, it made even less sense.

I haven't even scratched the surface of how terrible and awesome this film is. You have to see it for yourself to believe it.
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