Cinematical

Rating Title | Year Quote Author
1 49%

Donkey Punch (2008)

"Blackburn takes one boat, one body, a rising tide of panic and a rising number of corpses and uses them all to craft the best bad news possible."

Posted Dec 17, 2009

William Goss

2 57%

My Bloody Valentine 3-D (2009)

"It's low-brow entertainment with high-tech execution, and while it's anything but scary, it IS cheesy, corny, gimmicky, gory fun."

Posted Dec 17, 2009

William Goss

3 64%

Marley & Me (2008)

"I'm fairly sure that the book and the film shared a common goal -- to make its audience sit, stay, laugh, cry, then move on -- and at those modest aspirations, the movie succeeds."

Posted Dec 17, 2009

William Goss

4 45%

Yes Man (2008)

"A ready-made Christmas-time crowd-pleaser that pretty much plays it safe, even in its cruder moments, and will be in circulation on cable soon enough."

Posted Dec 17, 2009

William Goss

5 21%

The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)

"As a flashy big-budget distraction, Stood Still is adequate overall -- rarely above, occasionally below -- and often familiar in its spectacle."

Posted Dec 17, 2009

William Goss

6 26%

Nobel Son (2008)

"Smug and glib and generally apathetic as to who gets what in the end, so long as it seems clever at the time."

Posted Dec 17, 2009

William Goss

7 37%

Transporter 3 (2008)

"The first film was slick, the second one silly, but at least we knew what was going on during those action beats."

Posted Dec 17, 2009

William Goss

8 25%

Four Christmases (2008)

"Maybe if Four Christmases had extended itself beyond white trash targets and projectile vomiting, we could've been talking about a new Christmas classic right now."

Posted Dec 17, 2009

William Goss

9 34%

Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)

"Repo! isn't like anything else out there, for whatever it's worth, or anything I've ever seen; between us, though, I'm going to hold out for a midnight staple more my speed."

Posted Dec 17, 2009

William Goss

10 58%

Quarantine (2008)

"Works as every bit the disposable jolt dispenser it's assembled to be."

Posted Dec 17, 2009

William Goss

11 77%

Role Models (2008)

"There's a constant sarcastic rapport between Rudd and Scott right from the get-go that makes the wholly expected plot developments easier to stomach."

Posted Dec 17, 2009

William Goss

12 11%

An American Carol (2008)

"It is hard to believe that a comedy this singularly inept and downright unfunny came from one of the minds behind one of the funniest comedies of all time, Airplane!."

Posted Dec 17, 2009

William Goss

13 51%

The Family That Preys (2008)

"Exactly the kind of preachy, pandering, tone-shifting, gospel-laced soap opera that [Perry has] served up time and time again to his dedicated audience."

Posted Dec 17, 2009

William Goss

14 9%

Bangkok Dangerous (2008)

"Between all the dates and dinners, Bangkok almost ends up being as less thriller and more travelogue; by the hour mark, there are literally more gulps than gunshots."

Posted Dec 17, 2009

William Goss

15 1%

Disaster Movie (2008)

"Indeed a disaster first, and a movie barely."

Posted Dec 17, 2009

William Goss

16 63%

Traitor (2008)

"We watch for the sake of the chase, and while it's a chase that certainly proves better than most, it's also one that is good enough to have been even better than that."

Posted Dec 17, 2009

William Goss

17 60%

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2007)

"May not quite be the cult classic in the making that it so clearly sets out to be, but at least its influences and intent are always worn plainly upon its blood-stained sleeve."

Posted Dec 17, 2009

William Goss

18 14%

Mirrors (2008)

"Sutherland's natural stoicism does make the more risible developments and dialogue a bit easier to stomach (a moment when he goes all Jack Bauer on a nun comes to mind)."

Posted Dec 17, 2009

William Goss

19 19%

Meet Dave (2008)

"A comedian known for his brash wit and go-for-broke charm, Murphy used to be willing to say anything to get a laugh. Now, he's clearly willing to do anything."

Posted Dec 17, 2009

William Goss

20 85%

A Single Man (2009)

"Flirts with greatness, but then punches us in the mouth with a cruel, pointlessly ironic ending -- a misguided attempt at an O. Henry-esque twist."

Posted Dec 11, 2009

Eugene Novikov

21 83%

Avatar (2009)

"Cameron's latest is scary and exciting and entertaining as hell, even if it's far too early - and too conventional in too many ways - to herald it as any kind of masterpiece."

Posted Dec 11, 2009

Todd Gilchrist

22 64%

The Missing Person (2009)

"The Missing Person isn't merely a clever, cool spin on the classic private eye story, but it also works as a private eye story. It showcases a lurching, hunched, quietly lived-in performance by Shannon but offers more than just that performance. ..."

Posted Nov 29, 2009

James Rocchi

23 5%

Old Dogs (2009)

"Exactly as funny as you'd expect a movie to be that stars John Travolta and Robin Williams as two bachelors who must suddenly take care of precocious 7-year-old twins, and that was directed by the man who made Wild Hogs."

Posted Nov 25, 2009

Eric D. Snider

24 28%

The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

"...it fulfills the expectations of fans and followers of the franchise but nevertheless still falls short of forming something transcendent and meaningful to everyone else."

Posted Nov 19, 2009

Todd Gilchrist

25 90%

The Messenger (2009)

"...a poignant tale of redemption that counts as one of the very best films of the year."

Posted Nov 12, 2009

Todd Gilchrist

26 92%

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)

"a celebration both of its stop-motion medium and Anderson's aesthetic, while still managing to fully document the spectacular fun in original author Roald Dahl's daffy, distinctive imagination."

Posted Nov 6, 2009

Todd Gilchrist

27 19%

The Fourth Kind (2009)

"...a thriller that unravels easily even if it nevertheless occasionally qualifies as a scary good time."

Posted Nov 1, 2009

Todd Gilchrist

28 91%

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009)

"Compelling and artistic, punctuated with warm humor and masterful performances, and ultimately triumphant and hopeful."

Posted Oct 27, 2009

Eric D. Snider

29 50%

Hardware (1990)

"...a worthy film to revisit primarily to see how well it fueled our feverish imaginations before it fell to the wayside."

Posted Oct 27, 2009

Todd Gilchrist

30 49%

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2010)

"...the kind of cult sensation that earns immortality on the merits of its gobsmacking levels of gore, despite the fact that all in all it's really not a very good film."

Posted Oct 27, 2009

Todd Gilchrist

31 57%

The Hills Run Red (2009)

"The Hills Run Red is an example of the kind of horror movie that gets a pass from forgiving genre fans, but its clumsy, obvious execution will otherwise not likely entertain (much less scare) anyone else."

Posted Oct 23, 2009

Todd Gilchrist

32 37%

Saw VI (2009)

"...a worthy and faithful entry in a franchise which at this point seems expressly designed to document people dying in increasingly inventive ways."

Posted Oct 23, 2009

Todd Gilchrist

33 94%

The Damned United (2009)

"Thanks to Michael Sheen's innate charms, Brian Clough is redeemable even at his meanest and most self-destructive."

Posted Oct 16, 2009

Jen Yamato

34 83%

Bright Star (2009)

"In presenting Keats as much in Brawne's eyes as she in his, we watch Fanny's growing interest in John, we wait with her for his letters, we share in her anguish when all seems lost -- Campion suggests that he was her "bright star" as well"

Posted Oct 16, 2009

Jen Yamato

35 72%

Where the Wild Things Are (2009)

"As an understated work of spectacle, or maybe a spectacular work of understatement, Jonze's latest film is not only his best to date, but a monstrous achievement in its own right - with or without the big furry creatures."

Posted Oct 15, 2009

Todd Gilchrist

36 63%

Peter and Vandy (2009)

"Whenever a romance flick aspires to be more than stupid sex gags and over-the-top waterworks, then that's when I'll advise you to stand in line for a ticket."

Posted Oct 12, 2009

Erik Davis

37 84%

Get Low (2010)

"There's a lot more to like about Get Low than just another fantastic Robert Duvall performance."

Posted Oct 7, 2009

Scott Weinberg

38 67%

Cleanflix (2009)

"Raises more questions than it's prepared to answer, but still works as a spotlight shined on a weird part of the movie world."

Posted Oct 7, 2009

Scott Weinberg

39 ——

The Entrepreneur (2009)

"A compelling and low-key documentary about the American Dream ... and how we often have to go overseas to find it."

Posted Oct 7, 2009

Scott Weinberg

40 ——

Toy Story/Toy Story 2 (3-Disc Ultimate Toy Box Collector's Edition) (2000)

"...[it] might leave some longtime fans feeling like they paid twice for the same Toy."

Posted Oct 5, 2009

Todd Gilchrist

41 58%

The Invention of Lying (2009)

"...an extended sketch from a comedy show that outlasts its entertainment value long before the movie ends."

Posted Oct 5, 2009

Todd Gilchrist

42 75%

Capitalism: A Love Story (2009)

"...a one-sided love story, even if its message could be truly reciprocal if enough people opened their minds up enough to hear it."

Posted Sep 26, 2009

Todd Gilchrist

43 48%

Ong Bak 2 (2009)

"...a self-aggrandizing historical epic that somehow proves that you can actually make a movie without a plot."

Posted Sep 26, 2009

Todd Gilchrist

44 92%

Dogtooth (Kynodontas) (2010)

"Suffice to say that we won't be seeing an American remake of this one any time soon."

Posted Sep 21, 2009

Scott Weinberg

45 64%

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009)

"If you've seen how imaginative Terry Gilliam can be with "practical" effects, then you'll probably be dazzled by Imaginarium's finest moments."

Posted Sep 21, 2009

Scott Weinberg

46 79%

The Informant! (2009)

"A "happy medium" between Soderbergh's "star-laden" flicks and his smaller, yes slightly brainier, movies. Obviously that's a good thing."

Posted Sep 21, 2009

Scott Weinberg

47 87%

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (2009)

"...co-directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller crreate a world that scarcely resembles anything that could or would happen, and manages to be all the more exciting because of it."

Posted Sep 18, 2009

Todd Gilchrist

48 75%

The Road (2009)

"John Hillcoat's faithful, near-perfect adaptation beautifully captures McCarthy's synthesis of all-encompassing darkness and enduring hope."

Posted Sep 18, 2009

Eugene Novikov

49 83%

Paranormal Activity (2009)

"Paranormal Activity will please horror fans and is an even better date movie; it's funny, too."

Posted Sep 16, 2009

Eugene Novikov

50 66%

Youth in Revolt (2010)

"As a huge fan of the source material, I have to say this is as good of a big-screen adaptation as you're going to get from Youth in Revolt."

Posted Sep 16, 2009

Erik Davis

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