|
65%
|
The Jeffrey Dahmer Files (2013)
|
"Thompson accepts quite a burden of informational responsibility, only to generate an aimless, tedious picture that's part documentary, part re-creation, and mostly unenlightening."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
10%
|
If I Were You (2012)
|
"A strangled endeavor that's 30 minutes too long and short-sheeted in the laugh department. Perhaps it was a blast to make, but to sit through the feature requires an extraordinary amount of patience. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
34%
|
Dark Skies (2013)
|
"Instead of a slow build, Dark Skies is more of a slow leak."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
58%
|
Snitch (2013)
|
"It's broad and brawny, dealing with a subject matter that requires a fine touch of intimacy and stillness. No amplification was necessary. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
14%
|
Small Apartments (2013)
|
"The material is too thin to truly inspire, showing more skill as a map of madness, populated with greasy, grimy types who inhabit our world, yet refuse to abandon their own."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
19%
|
Inescapable (2013)
|
"Doesn't have the juice normally associated with such violent entertainment. Its interest in characterization is admirable, but there's little firepower where it counts the most. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
——
|
Vamp U (2013)
|
"Retains a modicum of spunk and a few smiles as it goes about its business of slapstick and bloodsuckery. Dial expectations way down, and perhaps writer/directors Matt Jespersen and Maclain Nelson will be able to entertain you."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
26%
|
L!fe Happens (2012)
|
"For a movie that hopes to tickle, it actually finds surer footing expressing deep emotions, pinpointing the terror and grief that comes when pleasurably distracting routines are abandoned. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
——
|
Rosewood Lane (2012)
|
"Salva's attempt to generate a fright feature built entirely out of mood, dismissing storytelling to maintain a tight focus on unexplained supernatural events, unexplained characters, and unexplained explanations."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
——
|
La notte dei diavoli (Night of the Devils) (2012)
|
"Devils achieves a balanced sense of the unknown, the sympathetic, and the ghoulish, focusing on character to embellish suspense as it creeps around in a most inspired manner. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
20%
|
Death Ship (1980)
|
"For a low-wattage chiller with a few famous faces, Death Ship is entertaining, evoking an era when all a movie needed was a rusted boat and George Kennedy as a possessed Nazi to entice ticket buyers into theaters. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
——
|
Gamera: Chiisaki yusha-tachi (Gamera the Brave) (2008)
|
"Doesn't satisfy any cravings for Tokyo-flattening mayhem, but its gentle ways are appealing in small doses, turning a saga about a rampaging reptile into a picture kids will undoubtedly love and parents should be able to tolerate. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
30%
|
Porky's (1982)
|
"Isn't a very accomplished storytelling effort, wandering blindly around pranks and melodrama as it fights to find a higher purpose beyond being just another horndog teen feature. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
39%
|
Fear (1996)
|
"One of the all-time goofiest movies, avoiding a tough inspection of troubling emotional speeds and stunted communication to sneeze out a confused, half-realized story of obsession."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
60%
|
The Preacher's Wife (1996)
|
"Has a big heart, but no sense of pace and conflict to sustain the viewing experience for an unnerving two hours. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
26%
|
Escape From Planet Earth 3D (2013)
|
"And just to make sure the feature radiates complete nonsense, every time a character falls in Escape from Planet Earth, there's a fart sound effect piped in. Surely your children would rather watch Argo instead, right? "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
56%
|
Would You Rather (2013)
|
"A humdinger of a picture at times, guaranteed to rile up even the most jaded viewer, while presenting an interesting, if incomplete, portrait of human nature as it's faced with a cold reality of choice and survival. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
91%
|
The Last Gladiators (2013)
|
"Reflecting the sweep of aggression that swallowed the game throughout the 20th century, Gibney tackles his points smartly, laboring to communicate the thrill of combat and the shock of retirement. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
56%
|
The End of Love (2013)
|
"Webber appears to be making an audition tape with his second directorial effort, using screen time to display a range of moods and dramatic encounters that could go on to secure future jobs for the actor."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
14%
|
Spiders (2013)
|
"Doesn't have the budget, the talent, or the ingenuity to really explore the potential of the premise."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
52%
|
The Playroom (2013)
|
"It's a misfire from screenwriter Gretchen Dyer and director Julia Dyer, who can't connect the puzzle pieces, resulting in a movie of attentive performances working through ill-defined storytelling. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
15%
|
A Good Day To Die Hard (2013)
|
"R.I.P. Die Hard franchise (1988-1995). We'll always have Nakatomi Plaza."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
46%
|
Beautiful Creatures (2013)
|
"It's the bulk of the story that ultimately confuses LaGravenese, who's unable to isolate ideal dramatic highs and lows, catching the adaptation blues as he strives to please fans and welcome newcomers."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
13%
|
Safe Haven (2013)
|
"When Safe Haven isn't being ridiculous, it's utterly conventional, refusing to color outside the lines to make an impression that hasn't already been found in previous Sparks-branded efforts."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
55%
|
Top Gun (1986)
|
"It's still the same old Top Gun, retaining every frame of ridiculousness and emphatic acting that turned the Don Simpson/Jerry Bruckheimer production into a legend. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
20%
|
Identity Thief (2013)
|
"It's a comedy that's not really much of a comedy, and it forces the audience to sympathize with a monster of a woman, even while she shows no remorse for her awful crimes."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
85%
|
Side Effects (2013)
|
"Interesting swipe at the manipulative medication industry, yet Effects only really concentrates on the drug game for about an hour. After that, it's a glorified Lifetime Movie with an A-list cast."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
100%
|
Sound City (2013)
|
"A total blast to watch, sustaining momentum with a sharp admiration for the thrilling highs and lows of the complex and its rich history with some of the biggest artists around."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
39%
|
The ABCs of Death (2013)
|
"While there is a handful of highlights to hold out hope that the feature may be coming to its senses, the majority of the effort is either deathly dull, superhumanly moronic, or just plain angry for reasons best communicated to a therapist."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
98%
|
56 Up (2013)
|
"Once again, Apted assembles a captivating documentary that's profoundly educational, essential viewing to aid the understanding of the human experience."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
——
|
noobz (2013)
|
"Instead of lighthearted adventuring, Noobz makes The Wizard look like The Matrix, slogging through stupidity for what feels like an eternity at times. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
23%
|
The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia (2013)
|
"I'm not sure why the producers even bothered to dramatize the story if they weren't going to keep tight on the details, but I suppose there are greater mysteries in play here. Top of that list: What happened to Connecticut?"
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
96%
|
War Witch (2013)
|
"Infused with Terrence Malick spices, War Witch aims for ambiance as a way to approach its searing images of war, keeping the viewer unnerved instead of outraged when inspecting the troubles of Africa. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
6%
|
So Undercover (2013)
|
"Endeavoring to reveal more sides to Cyrus as she moves over to twentysomething pursuits, So Undercover isn't ambitious and brave enough to truly shake up her career in new and exciting ways."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
80%
|
Warm Bodies (2013)
|
"The weirdness spread around here is best served through intimacy, watching zombie-meets-girl antics up close and personal, inspecting the oddity with a surprisingly open heart and a crisp sense of humor."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
47%
|
Bullet to the Head (2013)
|
"A film for those who enjoy their steak bloody and their xenophobia served piping hot, making it for specialized moods. It's not a moviegoing evening selected on a whim."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
37%
|
Stand Up Guys (2013)
|
"Mostly baffling with a handful of bright moments, Stand Up Guys is a bust that doesn't know when to quit. In fact, it doesn't really know when to start either. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
57%
|
$ellebrity (2013)
|
"A numbing viewing experience that's oddly constructed and a touch too sanctimonious to take seriously, eventually coming to blame the viewer for the ills of the tabloid industry."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
20%
|
Girls Against Boys (2013)
|
"Conclusion is a bit of a gimme and telegraphed through the movie, but Boys has moments of inspired mental submersion and wretched behavior. However, any attempt to provide lasting meaning to the mayhem falls disappointingly short."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
40%
|
Parker (2013)
|
"It's a messy effort with plot holes galore, yet director Taylor Hackford manages to convince with the essential elements. Just don't think about the details too hard."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
4%
|
Movie 43 (2013)
|
"If your idea of a gut-busting good time at the multiplex is to see Jackman clown around with a pair of testicles on his neck, accidentally dipping them in butter and slapping them on the head of a baby, then Movie 43 is pure gold."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
82%
|
Kon Tiki (2013)
|
"Rich with character and heavy with ocean-based peril, Kon-Tiki is unexpectedly exciting and refreshingly human, retaining a searing sting of heartache and doubt as it manufactures eye-popping moments of near-death experiences."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
14%
|
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)
|
"Fails to raise much hell, insisting on a flat tone of tedious storytelling when all anyone really wants to see are the titular heroes continuously slaughtering broom-riding she-devils."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
60%
|
John Dies at the End (2013)
|
"It's a punchline in search of a joke, and it's tiring to watch scenes ramble on without direction, while most stabs at humor are DOA, missing a cast with genuine comic timing."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
28%
|
Knife Fight (2013)
|
"A mixed bag, offering a few winning performances and moments of revelation, while the rest scatters aimlessly, in search of structure director Bill Guttentag doesn't provide. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
66%
|
Mama (2013)
|
"The ride may be a little wobbly, but Muschietti holds his ground, conjuring an ominous chiller that has imagination and visual muscle where it counts the most."
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
59%
|
The Last Stand (2013)
|
"Gags could be better, the casting stronger, and the thrills continuous, but Stand remains immensely enjoyable and occasionally freewheeling. At the very least, it's good to have Schwarzenegger back on the screen where he belongs. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
30%
|
Broken City (2013)
|
"In trying to super-size its suspenseful interests, Broken City becomes a broken record, hitting formulaic notes of fraud when the script is more convincing as a visceral study of men behaving badly. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
16%
|
A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III (2013)
|
"It's not exactly a bold leap forward for Sheen, but, to his credit, he manages to survive a highly disorganized effort from fascinating helmer Roman Coppola. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
|
93%
|
Amour (2012)
|
"It's upsetting material lined with lead by Haneke, who searches for the meaning of love but can't help but dwell on the details of decay. "
|
Brian Orndorf
|
72%
21%
63%
85%
46%
40%
