New Times

Rating Title | Year Quote Author
1 100%

Toy Story 2 (1999)

"It's a tough act to follow, but director John Lasseter and his Pixar crew have done about as well as can be expected with Toy Story 2."

Posted Aug 6, 2012

Andy Klein

2 27%

Punisher: War Zone (2008)

"...like a Seagal movie on crank, only with Friday the 13th bogeyman Jason Voorhees in the lead, provided Jason were smart enough to use guns and missiles"

Posted Dec 3, 2008

Luke Y. Thompson

3 7%

Shutter (2008)

"...like a video copy of The Ring which has so degraded that all the good bits are no longer visible."

Posted Mar 21, 2008

Luke Y. Thompson

4 25%

Drillbit Taylor (2008)

"Drillbit Taylor is pretty good in almost every aspect other than its lead performance."

Posted Mar 20, 2008

Luke Y. Thompson

5 40%

Dao huo xian (City Without Mercy) (Flash Point) (Fuse) (The Signal) (2007)

"There's nothing that I dislike about FLASH POINT, but I do wish it could be even more than it is"

Posted Mar 14, 2008

Luke Y. Thompson

6 8%

10,000 B.C. (2008)

"...the Yagahl speak English with an inflection that ranges from fake-African to fake-Russian, sometimes within the same sentence."

Posted Mar 7, 2008

Luke Y. Thompson

7 53%

Penelope (2006)

"...an enjoyable piece of fluff, ably anchored by Ricci in a full 180 from the confident freak that was Wednesday Addams back in the day. Insecure people are going to love this movie"

Posted Feb 29, 2008

Luke Y. Thompson

8 3%

Witless Protection (2008)

"Carner directs so poorly that even set-pieces which ought to be interesting -- a Keystone Kops bit staged on a pig farm here, an oh-so-careful fight in an antique room there -- are rendered amateurishly."

Posted Feb 22, 2008

Luke Y. Thompson

9 80%

The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008)

"SPIDERWICK's great charm is that it feels exactly like the kind of adventure story you might have imagined at the bottom of the garden one day during childhood."

Posted Feb 14, 2008

Luke Y. Thompson

10 67%

Build a Ship, Sail to Sadness (2008)

"Despite the apparent ugliness and sloppiness of the piece, there's a real gem of inspiration at the core, and the character of Vincent is wonderful."

Posted Feb 1, 2008

Luke Y. Thompson

11 22%

The Eye (2008)

"...it doesn't suck. It's far from brilliant, but as weekend multiplex popcorn fare, it mostly gets the job done."

Posted Feb 1, 2008

Luke Y. Thompson

12 2%

Meet the Spartans (2008)

"Perhaps the most oft-quoted line from 300 is "Tonight, we dine in hell!" Chowing down on a box of Butterfinger Minis during a screening of Meet the Spartans, you will truly understand what that line means."

Posted Jan 25, 2008

Luke Y. Thompson

13 22%

Mad Money (2008)

"It's mediocre, but it's not obnoxiously so. I had an okay time. But I had also had five beers."

Posted Jan 18, 2008

Luke Y. Thompson

14 70%

I Am Legend (2007)

"For about three quarters of its running time, I was thinking this could be one of the very best movies of the year."

Posted Dec 14, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

15 42%

The Golden Compass (2007)

"I feel about it roughly the same way I did about the book -- hard to get into until the armored bears show up, and then pretty awesome as long as the bears hang around."

Posted Dec 3, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

16 89%

The Savages (2007)

"The name of the movie is one of those insufferable cutesy puns...but don't let that deter you from a film that achieves the rare balance of being both hilarious and tragic."

Posted Nov 30, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

17 63%

Holly (2007)

"...it's easy to imagine how another director might have felt the need to switch to slo-mo and cue the violins."

Posted Nov 21, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

18 94%

No Country for Old Men (2007)

"People are calling it the best film of the year, and if it isn't, it's darn close."

Posted Nov 17, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

19 51%

30 Days of Night (2007)

"If the comic book had never existed, this would be pretty cool. As is, it's a slightly missed opportunity with enough fun parts that it doesn't feel like a total waste."

Posted Oct 21, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

20 78%

1408 (2007)

"...one of the most gleefully loony things you'll see this year."

Posted Sep 4, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

21 67%

Right at Your Door (2007)

"There's no levity at all to distract from the unrelenting horror, unless you consider the entire film to be a big sick joke"

Posted Aug 25, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

22 39%

Hot Rod (2007)

"...hands-down the funniest, laugh till you cry and your cheeks hurt comedy of the year"

Posted Aug 3, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

23 92%

The Cool School (2008)

"...a fun, jazzy look at L.A.'s first real wave of modern artists"

Posted Jul 2, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

24 86%

Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak on a Plane (Plane Dead) (2007)

"The crowd loved it. If you have any affinity at all for the idea of zombies on a plane, you will too."

Posted Jul 2, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

25 84%

Rocket Science (2007)

"This may be the most realistic high school underdog comedy since Welcome to the Dollhouse, if you consider that a comedy."

Posted Jul 2, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

26 75%

Sunshine (2007)

"Lots of advance reviews have complained that the film falls apart at the end, which I don't buy at all."

Posted Jul 2, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

27 82%

Talk to Me (2007)

"Dare one suggest Oscar noms for both leads? With Ejiofor, and I have said this on many occasions before, it is only a matter of time."

Posted Jun 30, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

28 57%

Interview (2007)

"No surprise that Buscemi can carry off this kind of performance, but Miller holds up her end, and is a magnificent tease."

Posted Jun 30, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

29 ——

Bajo Juárez: La ciudad devorando a sus hijas ()

"This is the real Hostel, apparently"

Posted Jun 30, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

30 ——

Prison Town, USA ()

"...never boring for a second."

Posted Jun 30, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

31 75%

The Last Winter (2007)

"...a talky indie that suddenly turns into a slasher flick where the killer is in fact the invisible hand of Mother Nature"

Posted Jun 30, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

32 100%

Half Moon (Niwe Mung) (2007)

"While perhaps overlong, it has some good laughs (what exactly are "woman-sniffing dogs"?) and moments of odd beauty"

Posted Jun 30, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

33 ——

Chasing Ghosts: Beyond the Arcade (2007)

"...some who see this film will laugh at its protagonists, others with them. A little of both feels about right"

Posted Jun 30, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

34 56%

Charlie Bartlett (2007)

"...while the movie's not as radical as it seems to think it is, it does keep you guessing how it will all resolve."

Posted Jun 30, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

35 90%

Trigger Man (2007)

"...follow-up to the killer bat movie The Roost is superior in almost every way, and cheaper, too!"

Posted Jun 30, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

36 ——

Dead Daughters (2007)

"Russia apparently hasn't yet received the news that the "J-horror" films as a trend are over"

Posted Jun 30, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

37 62%

Joshua (2007)

"[W]hy is it so hard to make a scary flick about evil kids these days? The Omen remake was pretty hilarious, and Joshua is ridiculous, though they are apparently attempting to re-position it as a "black comedy""

Posted Jun 30, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

38 81%

Great World of Sound (2007)

"[Kene Holliday's] performance here is one of the year's best."

Posted Jun 30, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

39 67%

Dynamite Warrior (2007)

"I know we've all thought to ourselves at some point that kung-fu movies could use a bunch of dynamite firecrackers"

Posted Jun 30, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

40 70%

Moličre (2007)

"Tirard adds just a touch of tragedy for the humor to fully resonate and summons the spirit of his inspiration perhaps more effectively than director John Madden rendered the Bard in heat."

Posted Jun 30, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

41 92%

Brand Upon the Brain! (2006)

"The casual viewer may well reject the experimentalism outright, but for those who seek more unique rewards, they're definitely here."

Posted Jun 15, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

42 75%

Pierrepoint - The Last Hangman (2007)

"Morbid Goths and reserved Anglophiles can at last find some common ground"

Posted May 31, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

43 ——

Tajja (The War of Flower) (Tazza: The High Rollers) (2006)

"...a sort of demented Karate Kid of the cards"

Posted May 24, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

44 54%

Eagle vs. Shark (2007)

"If Napoleon Dynamite were a little older, had a libido and lived in New Zealand, he'd be Jarrod"

Posted May 24, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

45 50%

Bickford Shmeckler's Cool Ideas (2007)

"Director Scott Lew is not without his own cool ideas (having Reno 911's Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon play campus cops is genius), but his focus is all over the place"

Posted May 24, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

46 83%

Paprika (2006)

"As Valentines to the power of cinema, big dreams and the inner child go, it doesn't get much more exhilarating than this."

Posted May 24, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

47 44%

Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End (2007)

"...some of the most subversive cinematic experimentation you're likely to see in a "tentpole franchise" epic in this or any year."

Posted May 24, 2007

Luke Y. Thompson

48 88%

Dixie Chicks: Shut Up and Sing (2006)

"Look, to be honest, I could watch 93 minutes of Natalie Maines doing housework. That she has fantastic vocal chops is a major bonus, and her disdain for Bush is merely icing atop a significantly layered cake."

Posted Oct 27, 2006

Luke Y. Thompson

49 73%

Jet Li's Fearless (Huo Yuan Jia) (Legend of a Fighter) (2006)

"The Terminator flicks also favored world peace but didn't pause the action for nearly an hour to rub it in."

Posted Sep 19, 2006

Luke Y. Thompson

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