Charlie Day

Spaceman Benny

Spaceship!

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Kurt	If Nick and I were in a prison who do you think would be raped more??
Dale	Nick.
Kurt	Nick, really? Huh.

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Nick	My boss, who we're planning to kill is dying... And you save his life!!!!
Dale	Well it sounds bad when you say it like that.

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Dale	Penis?!
Wetwork Man	Penis?!
Dale Arbus	Penis?!
Dave Harken	PEANUTS!
Dale Arbus	Oh peanuts!
Dale	Oh my god, peanuts! Your allergic to peanuts!
Wetwork Man	Oh my god, peanuts! You're allergic to peanuts!

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Spaceman Benny

Underwater spaceship!

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Spaceman Benny

You're really letting the oxygen out of my tank here!

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Emmet	O.K., what would Lord Business least expect us to do?
Spaceman Benny	Build a spaceship?
Vitruvius	Kill a chicken?
Uni-Kitty	Marry a marshmallow!
Emmet	No! To follow the instructions.

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Emmet	O.K., what would Lord Business least expect us to do?
Spaceman Benny	Build a spaceship?
Vitruvius	Kill a chicken?
Uni-Kitty	Marry a marshmallow!
Emmet	No! To follow the instructions.

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Spaceman Benny

Spaceship!

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Art	yeah I wanna touch them!
Art	Yeah, I wanna touch them!

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Dr. Newton Geiszler

2,500 tons of awesome.

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Art	I can't go back to jail!

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Art	I have an extra toe not with me of course
Art	I have an extra toe. Not with me of course.

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Dr. Newton Geiszler	He's after me! You don't get it! He's after me!
Chinese Girl in Anti-Kaiju Refuge	You heard him! That thing wants him!

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Dr. Newton Geiszler

Fortune favors the brave!

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Dr. Newton Geiszler

Fortune favors the brave, dude.

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Dr. Newton Geiszler

It is pretty cool.

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Art	You Wanna dream journal?
Art	You wanna dream journal?

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Art	Out of all the sewage tunnels in this place, this one has always been my favorite.
Terry	You've been here before, Art?
Art	I have a life outside the house you know!

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Frank McCay	Believe me, you don't want to touch this bad boy!
Art	I want to touch it.

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Art	I wanna touch it!

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Art	I can't go back to jail!

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Art	I can't go back to jail!

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Dr. Julia Harris	You said she was just a hole for your dick.
Dale Arbus	I never said that...Not really my style.
Dale Arbus	I never said that... Not really my style.

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Dale Arbus

What do you mean 'deliberately undress?'. So, you 'accidentally undress?'

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Dale	Why did you put his whole bathroom in your ass!?

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Dale	[Wetwork Man] are you telling me i drove all this way and no one wants to get pissed on.
Dale	[Wetwork Man] Are you telling me I drove all this way and no one wants to get pissed on?

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Dale	(After pellit is shot) what's going on hows pellit?
Dale	[after pellit is shot] what's going on hows pellit?
Dale	[after Pellit is shot] what's going on hows pellit?
Nick	Still pretty f***Inge dead dale.
Nick	Still pretty f***Inge dead Dale.

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Nick Hendricks	(During Nick's Intro) The only hitch: I work for this guy, David Harken, who right now is feeding me some fresh sh*t for being two minutes late. He's a total f*cking asshole.
Nick Hendricks	[during Nick's intro] The only hitch: I work for this guy, David Harken, who right now is feeding me some fresh sh*t for being two minutes late. He's a total f*cking asshole.
Dale Arbus	(During Dale's Intro) And it would've been the perfect job, if it weren't for one evil, crazy b*tch...D.D.S.
Dale Arbus	[during Dale's intro] And it would've been the perfect job, if it weren't for one evil, crazy b*tch...D.D.S.
Kurt Buckman	(During Kurt's Intro) And if the worst thing about this job is having to tolerate my boss' dipsh*t cokehead son, well, it's a small price to pay.
Kurt Buckman	[during Kurt's intro] And if the worst thing about this job is having to tolerate my boss' dipsh*t cokehead son, well, it's a small price to pay.

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Dale Arbus	[Dale hands Julia the dental water spray]
Dr. Julia Harris	Alright, let see if this thing is working. [she sprays Dale in the crotch with the dental water spray]
Dr. Julia Harris	Ooh!
Dale Arbus	Oh, my God!
Dr. Julia Harris	Oh! I'm sorry. I'm a squirter, Dale. Oh, you know what? I think, I can make out our little friend right there! [she squirts him in the crotch again with the water spray]
Dale Arbus	Stop it!
Dr. Julia Harris	Shabbat Shalom, somebody's circumcised!

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Dr. Julia Harris	I bet you're no shrimp in the c*ck department, huh Dale?
Dale Arbus	Okay, Julia. Come on!
Dr. Julia Harris	What?
Dale Arbus	I'm not comfortable talking about that.
Dr. Julia Harris	Oh, Dale! Come on! You know that I like to fool around! [she takes the hand of the patient and places it on her breast]
Dale Arbus	Oops! [to the patient]
Dr. Julia Harris	Mr. Anderton! Not in the office! This is bad! [hitting the patients hand]
Dr. Julia Harris	Bad! Bad! Bad!
Dale Arbus	Probably shouldn't hit the patients.

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Nick	(showing Nick's intro) My boss he's a TOTAL FUCKING ASSHOLE.
Nick	[showing Nick's intro] My boss he's a TOTAL FUCKING ASSHOLE.
Dale	(showing Dale's intro) My boss she's a EVIL CRAZY BITCH.
Dale	[showing Dale's intro] My boss she's a EVIL CRAZY BITCH.
Kurt	(showing Kurt's intro) My boss he's a DIPSHIT COKEHEAD SON.
Kurt	[showing Kurt's intro] My boss he's a DIPSHIT COKEHEAD SON.

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Dale	Speaking of entrapment, I going to see that girl about her vagina.
Dale	Speaking of entrapment, I'm going to see that girl about her vagina.
Dale	Excuse me.

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Dale	YOU ARE A CRAAAAAZZZZY BIIIIIIIITCH WHOOOOOREEEE!!!! God that felt good!
Dale Arbus	You crazy bitch whore! [pauses for a moment]
Dale Arbus	Ah! That felt good!

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Dale	We are MEN, SEEKING A MAN!

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Dale	We are men looking for a man
Dale	We are men looking for a man.

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Dale	So you took the penis foods as an imitation of fuck her.
Kurt	No. I took her imitation of fuck her, as an imitation of fuck her.
Kurt	No. I took her invitation of fuck her, as an invitation of fuck her.

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Dale	You're a raper, you raped me, that's a RAPE!

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Dale	At least your boss isn't sexually harassing you.

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Kurt	Your boss is so hot.
Kurt	Your boss is incredibly hot.
Dale	Don't talk about how hot she is.
Kurt	She makes herself a little snack. First, a popsicle. Then, a banana. And finally, a hot dog. And eating them in that weird order thats not a proper meal.
Kurt	She makes herself a little snack. A popsicle. A banana. And finally, a hot dog. And eating them in that weird order thats not a proper meal.
Nick	That's hot to cold.
Nick	That's cold to hot.
Nick	It's cold to hot.