Alone in the Dark (2005)
Critic Consensus: Inept on almost every level, Alone in the Dark may not work as a thriller, but it's good for some head-slapping, incredulous laughter.
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as Edward Carnby
as Commander Richards
as Aline Cedrac
as Agent Marko
as Beat Cop
as Agent Cheung
as Agent Miles
as Agent Barr
as Deputy Adams
as Agent Yoneck
as Captain Chernick
as '80s Sheriff
as Young Edward
as Sister Clara
as Professor Hudgens
as Crewman Barnes
as '80s Sheriff
as Delivery Guy
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Critic Reviews for Alone in the Dark
Christian Slater and Stephen Dorff, the reigning princes of Hollywood schlock, join forces in this brain-dead adaptation of a popular video game.
Any chance for suspense is thwarted by gratuitous violence, heavy-metal-propelled action sequences and laughably flat dialogue between characters who are barely more developed than in the Atari version.
A violent and incomprehensible piece of gibberish.
Maybe the only people who can explain this flick's nonsensical plotline are those who squandered their youth mastering the Atari video game on which it's based.
The garish editing and stilted, exposition-only dialogue induce the frisson of an America's Most Wanted re-enactment that pays unexpected, sidesplitting returns.
Audience Reviews for Alone in the Dark
A godawful, incomprehensible schlock that can't make itself understood even with that endless, gigantic text crawl that opens it, and I don't believe no one realized that Tara Reid can't convince as someone who would open the door of a museum, let alone be an archaeologist.
Alone in the Dark is Uwe Boll's worst, if that's even possible. Alone in the Dark is very bad, with bad acting, story and directing. The film stumbles around trying to find a purpose, but it never elevates to anything remotely good or creative. Action scenes are sloppy, too noisy and not well done. Equally bad is Tara Reid. This is a film that fails to hit the mark on so many levels, it's not even possible to salvage even if you'd remove all the crap scenes with Tara Reid. Alone in the Dark is a misguided attempt at creating an action Horror film, and it fails. This is one film that just doesn't deliver. You end up wondering why this film wasf8inanced in the first place and you're astounded at how Boll could pull something like this off. Alone in the Dark is the prime example as to why Video game to screen adaptations are horrible ideas for films, and they rarely work. Alone in the Dark is a poorly made film and you realize that Uwe Boll doesn't care about directing a good film that he's only in the business for the money. His films sell, so there's no reason for him to direct a good film, although he's managed to make three good flick s out of the fifteen or so he's made. This might have been an interesting idea for a film if it would have been handled properly. There were signs of potential, but it quickly became apparent that it was a pure joke fest. Everything that might have been interesting is wasted from the poorly conceived script, which feels rushed, with no heart put into its story to the washed up actors; this film was set to fail right before the cameras were set to roll. Avoid this horror flick, as it a mess from start to finish, and there's nothing good to come out of it aside from the heavy metal soundtrack.
Alone in the Dark Quotes
|Edward Carnby:||My name is Edward Carnby, and I'm here to protect you from the things you don't believe.|
|Aline Cedrac:||(Slaps Edward) I thought you were dead, *sshole!|
|Aline Cedrac:||[slaps Edward] I thought you were dead, *sshole!|
|Aline Cedrac:||Some doors are meant to stay shut.|
|Commander Burke:||My guys are dyin' out there for nothing. (overturns a table) For f*cking nothing! God d*mmit!|