Shark Night 3D (2011)
Critic Consensus: A joyless excursion into the water that doesn't even produce good gore or nudity thanks to the neutered PG-13 rating.
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Critic Reviews for Shark Night 3D
Shark Night, handled with impersonality by Snakes on a Plane pilot David R. Ellis, aspires to nothing more or less than carrying along an audience through a string of unremarkable kills, often involving high-jumping fish.
A second round is out of the question. Unless, of course, they called it "Gladys Knight 3D.'' Then all is forgiven.
The sharks are rubber and the performances are wooden and that's just about all you need to know.
The result is a movie that isn't crummy, exactly, just blah: when the freakiest teeth on screen belong not to one of Walt Conti's animatronically realized sharks but to a good-ol'-boy called Red, you know you have a problem.
Sharks have it bad enough as endangered, misunderstood predators with a terrible public relations image without seeing their serial-killing stardom drowned out by hammy acting and torture-porn villainy.
Audience Reviews for Shark Night 3D
Shark Night 3D is a horrible film that is one of the most unoriginal pieces of crap I've seen in quite some time. David R. Ellis who made a previous nature gone wild theme horror film with Snakes on a Plane misses the mark entirely with this one. The films plot is nothing new, in fact it's predictable. We all know what happens with this one. The story is bad, the film rides on all the usual clichés, not to mention that the cast is awful and can't act. Ellis made a good film with Snakes on a Plane; it was a fine tribute to B movie comedy horror in my book. However with this one, it simply doesn't deliver the goods. After all those dreadful; Jaws sequels, you'd think they would stop with making bad shark films. Well, I guess they didn't learn their lesson. This film is just poorly made, with no heart and it's not even one of those films that are worth watching for a mindless night of dumb fun. As a horror film, it fails, this is stupid, pointless and overall a train wreck of a film. This so poorly crafted, so lazily made that you don't care for any character, in fact the only thing you care about is the end credits because at least now the horror of sitting through this film is over. This film never should have been made, and is not a good nature gone wild film. Watch the original Jaws for real shark terror and Joe Dante's Piranha for real fun. This simply doesn't deliver. Well it delivers on the mediocrity and it's something it has plenty of. This film might have succeeded if more care went into writing a consistent script, which is something that is clearly absent from this film. This is a film that is not worth your time, and there are far better films in the genre to watch. One of David R. Ellis' worst films, Shark Night is a cliché fest from start to finish simply designed to make a quick buck.
Hmm. Sometimes you know a movie is going to be bad before you even watch it. This is especially true in the Horror genre. Even though the movie is crap, sometimes a few brutal kills and some good laughs will at least, make things entertaining. Then there's dog shit like "Shark Night". There is no redeemable quality to "Shark Night" at all. While watching the atrocity, I was constantly reminded that I was wasting my time. The movie was castrated from the get go. The asinine PG-13 rating extracted all of the adult content necessary to make a movie like this successful. The story is, of course. ludicrous and the effects are embarrassing. 3-D movies from the 80's would point and laugh relentlessly at what is offered here. Which is really insulting, considering they smear '3D' in the title. You might want to avoid "Shark Night".
Blake: What are all these sharks doing here? "Terror runs deep." Shark Night wants to be a movie like Piranha. It wants to be a fun, exciting, and humorous blood feast, but it makes a huge mistake in going PG-13. Movies like this have to be rated R. Piranha was a success because it had tons of gore and tons of boobs. That's what the genre is made of. This went light on everything. The gore was lackluster and the boobs weren't there at all. So now in order to be a decent movie it has to actually be inventive and original in a way that this genre just can't be anymore; and it wasn't. The movie was stupid in ways you'd expect and in other ways that are surprising. It isn't humorous, you'll laugh at it, not with it. All in all, it is one of the worst movies you'll see in the killer fish genre. Obviously movies like this aren't trying to be the next Jaws because it just isn't possible. They need to be fun in different ways in order to succeed and Shark Night just wasn't able to do that. It was lifeless and at times just plain boring. The kills were terrible and the sharks looked just as bad. The filmmakers also went to great lengths to have stuff jump at you because everything has to be in 3D. There was a lot of fast motion scenes. We can see what they were going for; a fast paced, blood soaked extravaganza. Too bad what we were given was 80 minutes of boredom and cliches. Killer fish movies need to look at Piranha and see what it did. The makers of that knew they weren't making a great movie, but they also knew how to make it appeal to fans of the genre. Here they lost sight of that and sinfully thought they were doing something cool. Were they ever wrong.
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