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Kinnopio's Movie Reviews

Kinnopio's Movie Reviews is not a Tomatometer-approved publication. Reviews from this publication do not count toward the Tomatometer®.

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Rating Title | Year Author Quote
2/4
Constantine (2005) Craig Roush It feels like a repackaged version of The Matrix, only less costly and more literal.
Posted Feb 16, 2005  Edit critic review
2.5/4
The Wedding Date (2005) Craig Roush You may find yourself wishing for something more consequential; just because romantic comedies are supposed to be sweet doesn't mean they have to dissolve like sugar, too.
Posted Feb 05, 2005  Edit critic review
1/4
Alone in the Dark (2005) Craig Roush Less a coherent motion picture than a series of fight scenes and shootouts that feature abysmally unconvincing special effects.
Posted Jan 28, 2005  Edit critic review
2.5/4
Assault on Precinct 13 (2005) Craig Roush A familiar, unremarkable shoot-em-up: low on tension, suspense, and plot, and high on bullets, clichés, and one-liners.
Posted Jan 14, 2005  Edit critic review
1.5/4
Elektra (2005) Craig Roush Badass action heroine movies are like trendy new cell phone accessories: Suddenly every girl in Hollywood has to have one.
Posted Jan 13, 2005  Edit critic review
2/4
Racing Stripes (2005) Craig Roush One-dimensional storytelling may be necessary for very young viewers, but kids, on the whole, are smarter than Racing Stripes gives them credit for being.
Posted Jan 10, 2005  Edit critic review
3.5/4
A Very Long Engagement (2004) Craig Roush The French version of Cold Mountain, a romance of epic proportions that thinks it's a war picture.
Posted Jan 10, 2005  Edit critic review
2/4
White Noise (2005) Craig Roush A scary, empty thriller ... thick with middle-age fantasy but woefully thin on plot.
Posted Jan 04, 2005  Edit critic review
3/4
Coach Carter (2005) Craig Roush A strong performance by Samuel L. Jackson enables the film to transcend the mold exploited by other teen sports dramas.
Posted Jan 02, 2005  Edit critic review
2/4
Meet the Fockers (2004) Craig Roush Not nearly as funny as Meet the Parents, and saved only from disaster by Dustin Hoffman and Barbara Streisand.
Posted Jan 02, 2005  Edit critic review
1.5/4
Darkness (2002) Craig Roush Scary in the familiar, intermittent way of a run-of-the-mill thriller.
Posted Jan 02, 2005  Edit critic review
2.5/4
A Love Song for Bobby Long (2004) Craig Roush It deviates from the teen genre enough to suggest that Scarlett Johnasson is more concerned with the lateral boundaries of her range than the vertical ones.
Posted Jan 02, 2005  Edit critic review
3/4
The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004) Craig Roush Not as good as Wes Anderson's two best movies, The Royal Tenenbaums and Rushmore, but it still offers a broad sample of his distinct style.
Posted Jan 02, 2005  Edit critic review
3.5/4
The Aviator (2004) Craig Roush If you want to understand why everyone has such high regard for Martin Scorsese, one good place to start would be with The Aviator.
Posted Jan 02, 2005  Edit critic review
3.5/4
Million Dollar Baby (2004) Craig Roush I do not know whether Clint Eastwood has read any Steinbeck, but you would certainly think it from the way that he has filmed Million Dollar Baby.
Posted Jan 02, 2005  Edit critic review
2/4
The Phantom of the Opera (2004) Craig Roush Bland and unremarkable.
Posted Dec 18, 2004  Edit critic review
3/4
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004) Craig Roush A charm of fiction and imagination.
Posted Dec 15, 2004  Edit critic review
3/4
Intermission (2003) Craig Roush A greasy, pugnacious, and very watchable ensemble movie.
Posted Dec 14, 2004  Edit critic review
1.5/4
Spanglish (2004) Craig Roush Spanglish is a real button-pusher, one of those comedies that operates in narrative shorthand.
Posted Dec 10, 2004  Edit critic review
3/4
Hotel Rwanda (2004) Craig Roush Hotel Rwanda is not perfect, but it compels us to be.
Posted Dec 08, 2004  Edit critic review
2/4
Ocean's Twelve (2004) Craig Roush Soderbergh has overcomplicated what made Ocean's Eleven worthwhile: the breezy fun of watching a bunch of A-list stars goofing off.
Posted Dec 07, 2004  Edit critic review
1.5/4
Blade: Trinity (2004) Craig Roush So far from the original Blade, that were it not for Wesley Snipes, you would probably think that it was a spin-off.
Posted Dec 03, 2004  Edit critic review
3.5/4
Closer (2004) Craig Roush Riveting for the way it effortlessly but relentlessly dials up the tension with the things the characters say.
Posted Dec 03, 2004  Edit critic review
1.5/4
Christmas With the Kranks (2004) Craig Roush As soggy and unhealthy as a half-baked Christmas cookie.
Posted Nov 26, 2004  Edit critic review
2.5/4
Kinsey (2004) Craig Roush A straightforward accounting of a man's life, neatly sorted out in by-the-book Hollywood fashion.
Posted Nov 24, 2004  Edit critic review
1/4
The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (2004) Craig Roush Not the best way to get your feet wet when it comes to the world of the franchise's frenetically goofy sponge-hero.
Posted Nov 21, 2004  Edit critic review
4/4
Sideways (2004) Craig Roush Not just a simple fable but a broad of slice of life, filled with Pinot highs, Merlot lows, and everything in between.
Posted Nov 17, 2004  Edit critic review
3/4
House of Flying Daggers (2004) Craig Roush A combination love story and martial arts picture that is as heartfelt as any.
Posted Nov 16, 2004  Edit critic review
2/4
National Treasure (2004) Craig Roush Plays out like The Da Vinci Code for the American history set.
Posted Nov 15, 2004  Edit critic review
0.5/4
Seed of Chucky (2004) Craig Roush Seed of Chucky is not like Child's Play, which is an enjoyably bad movie. There is no fun to be had in this abomination of a sequel.
Posted Nov 13, 2004  Edit critic review
3.5/4
The Polar Express (2004) Craig Roush A surprisingly faithful and skilled adaptation of Chris Van Allsburg's book, a movie that expands the story without diluting it.
Posted Nov 10, 2004  Edit critic review
1.5/4
After the Sunset (2004) Craig Roush For Brosnan, this marks his latest in a series of unconvincing efforts to distance himself from the James Bond franchise.
Posted Nov 07, 2004  Edit critic review
3/4
Finding Neverland (2004) Craig Roush A movie that is not about the characters in it, but rather the power that a bit of imagination has to get them -- and anyone -- through their darkest hours.
Posted Nov 05, 2004  Edit critic review
3/4
The Incredibles (2004) Craig Roush Easily Pixar's best-looking movie yet.
Posted Nov 03, 2004  Edit critic review
3/4
Ray (2004) Craig Roush Foxx's performance as Ray Charles ... is so outstanding that it makes an otherwise formulaic and somewhat predictable movie very much worth watching.
Posted Nov 02, 2004  Edit critic review
3.5/4
Vera Drake (2004) Craig Roush The terrifically honest, emotional, and heartfelt performance given by Imelda Staunton should win over viewers regardless of their opinions on the subject matter.
Posted Oct 27, 2004  Edit critic review
2/4
Around the Bend (2004) Craig Roush I'll put up with the necessary evil of product placement to a certain extent, but I also require a decent narrative. This movie feels like a 90-minute KFC commercial.
Posted Oct 25, 2004  Edit critic review
2/4
The Grudge (2004) Craig Roush Has a handful of scares but none that are legitimately earned.
Posted Oct 23, 2004  Edit critic review
1.5/4
Surviving Christmas (2004) Craig Roush A movie you watch with a half-cringe on your face, waiting to see the lengths to which Affleck will humiliate himself.
Posted Oct 20, 2004  Edit critic review
2.5/4
Team America: World Police (2004) Craig Roush Raunchy, offensive, and sometimes hilarious.
Posted Oct 12, 2004  Edit critic review
1.5/4
Raise Your Voice (2004) Craig Roush Proves with scientific irrefutability one of the movies' few truths: Formulaic, barely-fictional self-discovery movies spruced up with pop tunes will always get bad reviews.
Posted Oct 10, 2004  Edit critic review
1/4
Taxi (2004) Craig Roush About 60 or 70 jokes fall flat in this movie, which wouldn't know comedy if it was written in block letters on the side of the Empire State Building.
Posted Oct 06, 2004  Edit critic review
2.5/4
Friday Night Lights (2004) Craig Roush While Friday Night Lights has the same earnest intentions as Hoosiers, Miracle, and others, it just doesn't have the heart.
Posted Oct 06, 2004  Edit critic review
3/4
Going Upriver: The Long War of John Kerry (2004) Craig Roush Though it might not swing many votes, it should swing people's personal opinions of Kerry.
Posted Oct 05, 2004  Edit critic review
2/4
Shark Tale (2004) Craig Roush The biggest loss in Shark Tale is that it has no pulse. At least Finding Nemo was genuine enough to touch viewers; this movie is simply after their wallets.
Posted Sep 30, 2004  Edit critic review
0.5/4
You Got Served (2004) Craig Roush A dance party of a movie that is so badly acted and sloppily edited that it frequently borders on incoherency.
Posted Sep 29, 2004  Edit critic review
2.5/4
Without a Paddle (2004) Craig Roush A mildly pleasant comedy that viewers may find more endearing than they expect.
Posted Sep 29, 2004  Edit critic review
1/4
Win a Date With Tad Hamilton! (2004) Craig Roush The same romantic comedy that moviegoers have seen dozens of times.
Posted Sep 29, 2004  Edit critic review
2.5/4
Wimbledon (2004) Craig Roush Fun to watch, because, like the occasional pure-formula movie, it is well made.
Posted Sep 29, 2004  Edit critic review
3/4
When Will I Be Loved (2004) Craig Roush A short but ultimately sharp-edged erotic drama.
Posted Sep 29, 2004  Edit critic review
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