Jason Sudeikis

Red says: And you're not asking basic questions.

Bradley says: There's no texting in soccer.

Matilda says: Where's your homework?

Red says: I don't have it.

Matilda says: Why not?

Red says: I didn't do it. I thought about doing it until I realized it would be a total waste of my time!

Red says: Wait, he's coming back.

Hal says: Uh, did we win?

Red says: Could we get an ice pack for Hal?

Early Bird says: Hey, Red! How are you?

Red says: Oh, I'm horrible!

Judge Peckinpah says: There seems to be a recurring issue here, anger.

Red says: I don't have an anger issue, I think you got an anger issue. Are you aware that robe you are wearing isn't fooling anyone?

Red says: Pluck my life.

Red says: Something doesn't seem Kosher about these pigs.

Red says: You can't eat eggs!

Monty Pig says: What are ya gonna do? I'm a foodie.

Red says: I'm not blushing. I'm just red.

Chuck says: Eagle! Heron! Peacock! Warrior! Mountain! Tree! Rabbit! Fish! Locus! King pigeon! And of course, downward duck.

Red says: Yuck!

Red says: Drop your nuts and move your butts!

Red says: Yeah, when birds fly

Red says: Yeah, when birds fly.

Andrew McDonnell says: Oh yeah, you make deer condoms, huh?

Andrew McDonnell says: I see what's going on here, you're just a crazy person.

Andrew McDonnell says: Lady, that's not yours to ruin!

Jake says: When you start sleeping with someone you risk losing them.

Jake says: You're a catch, you look great, a dynamite in a tank top.

Jake says: Can we please go home, dry each other off with friction?

Mitch says: What's it all about?

Cam Brady says: America, Jesus, freedom.

Kurt says: If Nick and I were in a prison who do you think would be raped more??

Dale says: Nick.

Kurt says: Nick, really? Huh.

Kurt says: I'd sure like to bend her over the barrel and show her 50 states.

David Clark says: Yeah, or send one of those damn text messages you're always sending out there, "Hey, it's me Casey, I'm not dead in a ditch, L-O-L, little picture of a fucking whale, hashtag yolo."

David Clark says: “Go buy some new clothes. You look like Eminem from 8 Mile.”

David Clark says: Go buy some new clothes. You look like Eminem from 8 Mile.

David Clark says: Fuck off, real life Flanders.

Scottie P says: You know what I'm sayin'?

David Clark says: Well, I'm awake and I speak English, so, yeah, I do know what you're saying.

David Clark says: You had me steal from a Mexican drug lord!

Brad Gurdlinger says: It was kind of a dick move.

David Clark says: You got me moving enough weed to kill Willie fucking Nelson, man!

Brad Gurdlinger says: David Clark your a hard man to find take it easy on the plastic

Brad Gurdlinger says: David Clark, you're a hard man to find. Take it easy on the plastic.

David Clark says: Brad what the fuck is this look man I was going to call you back do not kill me I got robbed I swear.

David Clark says: Brad, what the fuck is this look? Man, I was going to call you back. Do not kill me, I got robbed I swear.

Brad Gurdlinger says: Wait what oh the plastic

Brad Gurdlinger says: Wait, what? Oh the plastic.

David Clark says: Yeah the plastic i've seen Dexter

David Clark says: Yeah the plastic. I've seen Dexter.

Kurt Buckman says: You know, they should call you Motherfucker Over-Jones, to avoid confusion. Right? Dean 'MF' Jones: What's the confusion?

Kelly says: How much do you drink at theses parties?

Eric says: A lot. It's kind of a social obligation.

Kurt Buckman says: Oh, and to answer your question, that was your wife.

Dave Harken says: You fucked my wife?

Kurt Buckman says: I fucked your wife!!

Kurt Buckman says: I fucked your wife!

Cam Brady says: How does my hair look?

Mitch says: Strong, real strong

Mitch says: Strong, real strong.

Kurt Buckman says: What about you grandmother, "Booby"?

Kurt Buckman says: What about you grandmother, 'Booby'?

Nick Hendricks says: Gam Gam

Nick Hendricks says: Gam Gam.

Mitch says: He just punched a baby.

Bobby Pellit says: Yo, dickwad! What the fuck?

Kurt Buckman says: What?

Bobby Pellit says: Three hours late. What's the deal?

Kurt Buckman says: I was at your fathers funeral!

Bobby Pellit says: Uh huh. Maybe that excuse would work if my dad was here, but, I'm in charge now.

Kurt Buckman says: That excuse wouldn't make any sense if dad was still here.

Kurt Buckman says: We've been taking murder advice from someone whos biggest crime is... taping an Ethan Hawke movie!

Dean 'MF' Jones says: So you do know the movie?

Nick Hendricks says: (During Nick's Intro) The only hitch: I work for this guy, David Harken, who right now is feeding me some fresh sh*t for being two minutes late. He's a total f*cking asshole.

Nick Hendricks says: [during Nick's intro] The only hitch: I work for this guy, David Harken, who right now is feeding me some fresh sh*t for being two minutes late. He's a total f*cking asshole.

Dale Arbus says: (During Dale's Intro) And it would've been the perfect job, if it weren't for one evil, crazy b*tch...D.D.S.

Dale Arbus says: [during Dale's intro] And it would've been the perfect job, if it weren't for one evil, crazy b*tch...D.D.S.

Kurt Buckman says: (During Kurt's Intro) And if the worst thing about this job is having to tolerate my boss' dipsh*t cokehead son, well, it's a small price to pay.

Kurt Buckman says: [during Kurt's intro] And if the worst thing about this job is having to tolerate my boss' dipsh*t cokehead son, well, it's a small price to pay.

Kurt says: They should call u Motherf***er Over Jones to avoid confusion

Kurt says: You know, they should call you... Motherfucker-over Jones to avoid confusion, right?

Nick says: (showing Nick's intro) My boss he's a TOTAL FUCKING ASSHOLE.

Nick says: [showing Nick's intro] My boss he's a TOTAL FUCKING ASSHOLE.

Dale says: (showing Dale's intro) My boss she's a EVIL CRAZY BITCH.

Dale says: [showing Dale's intro] My boss she's a EVIL CRAZY BITCH.

Kurt says: (showing Kurt's intro) My boss he's a DIPSHIT COKEHEAD SON.

Kurt says: [showing Kurt's intro] My boss he's a DIPSHIT COKEHEAD SON.

Dean 'MF' Jones says: My name is Motherfucker Jones.

Kurt says: Your first name is Mother Fucker?

Kurt says: Your first name is...Motherfucker?

Box says: So she won't fuck fat dudes, but she will sleep with a guy whose face looks like it's covered in jizz.

Eric says: Take back what's been taken from us!

Box says: This isn't a moustache it's a time machine.

Box says: This isn't a mustache, it's a time machine.

Grace says: Oh really? Today you left your computer on cockgobblers.com!

Grace says: This morning you left the computer on gangbangfacebath.com!

Fred says: I get my weather from that site...

Kurt says: You can't win a marathon without putting some bandaids on your nipples!

Kurt says: Tell you what, I'd like to bend her over a barrel and show her the fifty states, you know what I'm saying?

Bobby Pellit says: We need to trim some of the fat.

Kurt Buckman says: What do you mean by trim the fat?

Bobby Pellit says: I want you to fire the fat people. They're lazy and they're slow and they make me sad to look at. You can start with Large Marge.

Bobby Pellit says: Marge can you come in here please?

Dale says: So you took the penis foods as an imitation of fuck her.

Kurt says: No. I took her imitation of fuck her, as an imitation of fuck her.

Kurt says: No. I took her invitation of fuck her, as an invitation of fuck her.

Bobby Pellitt says: You can fire Professor Xavier. Creeps me out, Rolling around all day in his special little secret chair.

Bobby Pellitt says: You can fire Professor Xavier.

Kurt says: You mean Hank.

Bobby Pellitt says: Creeps me out, rolling around all day in his special little secret chair.

Kurt says: Your boss is so hot.

Kurt says: Your boss is incredibly hot.

Dale says: Don't talk about how hot she is.

Kurt says: She makes herself a little snack. First, a popsicle. Then, a banana. And finally, a hot dog. And eating them in that weird order thats not a proper meal.

Kurt says: She makes herself a little snack. A popsicle. A banana. And finally, a hot dog. And eating them in that weird order thats not a proper meal.

Nick says: That's hot to cold.

Nick says: That's cold to hot.

Nick says: It's cold to hot.

Grace says: What is wrong with you two? you are completely obsessed with sex!

Grace says: What the hell is wrong with you two? You are completely obsessed with sex!

Fred says: Honey, obsess is a very strong word...

Grace says: Oh yeah...? this morning you left the computer on "CockGobblers.com"

Fred says: I...I...I... get my weather from that site....

Kurt says: What do you mean trim the fat?

Kurt says: What do you mean by, 'trim the fat'?