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8/10
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Blue Beetle
(2023)
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Johnny Gayzmonic
|
I did not expect to cry during Blue Beetle. Twice...I was not ready for a film that not only delivers a solid superhero origin story but does so with a tremendous amount of heart and sincerity.
Posted Aug 21, 2023
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5/10
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Haunted Mansion
(2023)
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Johnny Gayzmonic
|
The film ended up leaving me with a ton of questions. Why am I watching this? Who is this film for? What random, vaguely eastern European accent is Jamie Lee Curtis going to attempt in her next scene? And why is Jared Leto?
Posted Jul 30, 2023
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8/10
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Barbie
(2023)
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Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Surprisingly mature and thoughtful, as well as deeper and wittier than you ever thought a Barbie movie could go, it’s both an escape and an emotional thesis. I guess it’s true; Barbie really can be everything.
Posted Jul 21, 2023
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7/10
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The Flash
(2023)
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Johnny Gayzmonic
|
The cast makes this one of the more entertaining DC films in recent memory, elevating the material far above what’s on the page and on the storyboards. It might not strike like lightning, but it’s still a comforting breeze.
Posted Jun 16, 2023
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9/10
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Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
(2023)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Equally adept at phenomenal action scenes and deep metaphors on what it means to be a superhero both in-universe and out, it raises the bar even higher for what a superhero film — or any animated film of any genre at all — can be.
Posted Jun 02, 2023
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6/10
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The Little Mermaid
(2023)
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Johnny Gayzmonic
|
While it makes a harder case for its own identity more than most of the other remakes...it ultimately doesn’t rise to the level of truly essential. It’s true what they say: “Life’s full of hard choices, innit it?”
Posted May 26, 2023
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8/10
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Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
(2023)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
I went into this film suffering superhero burn-out, and I came out of it with the most wonderful and comforting form of heartbreak. And I can only say thank you.
Posted May 05, 2023
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8/10
|
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
(2023)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
While I would have liked a longer exploration of this story and the characters, I can’t deny that is exactly the kind of D&D movie that this old, OLD-school geek hoped he’d see come to life. And I can’t wait for the next campaign to begin.
Posted Mar 31, 2023
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6/10
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Shazam! Fury of the Gods
(2023)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
It doesn’t skimp on action or spectacle, but it often seems to come at the cost of narrative and overall structure...The Shazamily deserves a better film to highlight their dynamic relationship than this. Just say the word, James Gunn.
Posted Mar 17, 2023
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6/10
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Scream VI
(2023)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Scream VI isn’t the lowest point of the franchise, and it does its best to stay entertaining and visceral, but it’s still a shadow of its predecessor.
Posted Mar 10, 2023
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6/10
|
Cocaine Bear
(2023)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Is it a revolutionary, meaningful, or philosophical film? Hell, no. Is it a pure, gonzo hit of adrenaline and dopamine that’ll make you forget your troubles for a hot minute? HELL, YES.
Posted Feb 24, 2023
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6/10
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Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantumania
(2023)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
When all was said and done, I walked away feeling unsatisfied...If not for a dedicated and highly professional cast, it’s possible this film may have gotten lost inside the relentless cogs of the MCU machine.
Posted Feb 17, 2023
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4/10
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The Pale Blue Eye
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Too serious for its own good, and with a visual palette and pace that both suggests a frozen hinterland, it’s not so much a whodunit as it is a whybother.
Posted Jan 13, 2023
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7/10
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M3GAN
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
We have on our hands here a new icon of the horror genre, a deliciously unholy combination of Hal 9000 and Chucky, glammed up like an American Girl Doll gone bad.
Posted Jan 06, 2023
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7.5/10
|
Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Although Johnson’s reach slightly exceeds his grasp here, it’s extremely easy to recommend something as multi-faceted as Glass Onion. It has comedy, drama, action, mystery, and almost a dozen fantastic performances full of charm and charisma.
Posted Dec 24, 2022
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8/10
|
Puss in Boots: The Last Wish
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
While still thriving on the swashbuckling vibe of Puss’ previous exploits, this film frames them in the context of maturity and the holistic nature of our life’s path. This is a fun, exciting quest with a highly relatable, highly emotional candy center.
Posted Dec 23, 2022
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8/10
|
Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
"By mixing a specific kind of magical realism with a very recognizable historical backdrop, del Toro gives his Pinocchio a kind of immediacy that’s as attractive as it is subtly terrifying."
Posted Dec 10, 2022
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6/10
|
Strange World
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
It’s hard to shake the idea that we’ve seen so much of this before, but its bold and hypnotic visuals still make it worth seeing in a theatrical setting. It might not be the most fantastic voyage ever created, but it’s fun enough while it lasts.
Posted Nov 28, 2022
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5/10
|
The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Possibly the most inessential thing to ever be added to the Marvel Cinematic Universe...I'm not mad...just disappointed.
Posted Nov 26, 2022
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6/10
|
Disenchanted
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
It has the same desperate, sincere but flailing energy a Drag Race Rusical challenge. There’s a lot of drive to make something amazing, but the result usually comes out a hot mess that’s made watchable by the performances of a few fierce queens.
Posted Nov 19, 2022
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8/10
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Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
This might be close to reaching peak potential of the MCU itself, a fantastic mix of drama, action, humor, and strength that’s far more focused on the humanity of its characters than the position of the MCU timeline.
Posted Nov 11, 2022
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6/10
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Black Adam
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
It's not a perfect film, but it really wants to be...It might not win any Karma for what it does, but it’s certainly interesting to watch it try.
Posted Oct 21, 2022
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3/10
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Halloween Ends
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Halloween Ends is a cross between sloppy fan fiction and a cheap soap opera found on an obscure streaming service in the bowels of Roku’s channel list. How’s that for a pull quote?
Posted Oct 15, 2022
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7/10
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Werewolf by Night
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Giacchomo shows us just how idiosyncratic and entertaining the MCU can be when it breaks from the formula that created it.
Posted Oct 09, 2022
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8/10
|
Hellraiser
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Fascinating and hypnotic, dangerous and seductive, this is exactly what Hellraiser is supposed to be. There’s no pain here, only pleasure.
Posted Oct 07, 2022
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6/10
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Hocus Pocus 2
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Cute, amusing, even sparkling at times, but ultimately just a glamour hiding a confused and directionless story. The Sandersons are just as wickedly entertaining as ever, but they’re done dirty by the weak and shallow script.
Posted Oct 01, 2022
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7/10
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Barbarian
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Is it as consistently gripping and scary as it could have been? No, but it does have a level of disturbing reality that soaks into the skin and lingers long after the credits have rolled.
Posted Sep 09, 2022
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7/10
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Three Thousand Years of Longing
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
It represents a specific kind of metatexutalism. It’s not one of breaking the fourth wall or self-aware satire. Instead, it’s a respectful and solemn exploration of what stories mean our experience of the world.
Posted Aug 26, 2022
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6/10
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They/Them
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
The uniformly talented cast does what they can to elevate the material, but Logan’s inability to balance the horror elements is more than they can handle. It’s not the queer horror film we both want and deserve, but at least they tried.
Posted Aug 06, 2022
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7/10
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Bullet Train
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
I can’t hate a film that includes a Japanese cover of “Holding Out For a Hero” during its climax. This train might sometimes feel like it’s not heading anywhere in particular, but it’s one hell of a ride all the same. It’s fun, and I love it.
Posted Aug 04, 2022
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8/10
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Nope
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
A grounded, even earth-bound first act drama invisibly morphs into a spinning, scifi carnival ride of a climax, dropping some remarkably well-executed horror scenes along the way.
Posted Jul 22, 2022
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7/10
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Thor: Love and Thunder
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
It’s as big and bold and vibrant as you’d expect a top-tier comic book film to be and also as shallow, but the spectacle is so strong and the cast so uniformly talented that it all works. This film is peak Himbo Energy and I can dig it.
Posted Jul 08, 2022
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7/10
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The Princess
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Could The Princess have been a better movie? Yes, of course... Is The Princess a bloody good time, with all the fights, flips, stunts, and thrills that hit the brain like some Dungeons and Dragons-inspired candy? Hell yes, of course.
Posted Jul 02, 2022
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6/10
|
Lightyear
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
While the story might not be terribly surprising, a uniformly talented voice cast and some stellar animation help get Lightyear off the ground and into the skies. If only it could have flown just a little bit higher.
Posted Jun 17, 2022
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4/10
|
Jurassic World Dominion
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
What killed the dinosaurs? If Jurassic World: Dominion is any indication, they were all bored to death.
Posted Jun 10, 2022
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7/10
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Firebird
(2021)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
It thrives on soft power, seeking to tell its truth through quiet emotion rather than fiery drama...When you’ve got a love story this genuine and sincere, it both earns and deserves your attention.
Posted Jun 03, 2022
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6/10
|
Men
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Well. That was certainly a movie.
Posted May 21, 2022
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7/10
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Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Raimi offers up a film that becomes deliciously twisted and macabre but ends up feeling restrained by the MCU formula...We all go a little mad sometimes, but this is an instance where we all could have stood to go just a little bit madder.
Posted May 06, 2022
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6/10
|
Sonic the Hedgehog 2
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
It's very much a sugar cereal on Saturday morning...Who needs nutritional value when youre having this much fun?
Posted Apr 08, 2022
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3/10
|
Morbius
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
The film wants the true conflict to be between Morbius and his vampire self. Will Morbius give in to his dark side?...Let me say this again: I. Do. Not. CARE.
Posted Apr 01, 2022
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7/10
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The Lost City
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Is it perfect? Absolutely not. Is it a good time from start to finish? Oh, hell yes.
Posted Mar 25, 2022
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8/10
|
The Batman
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
While its action is appropriately theatrical and its mystery appropriately intriguing, in the end this is a film that lives and thrives on its thematic resonance. It lives in the brain instead of passing through it.
Posted Mar 04, 2022
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5/10
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Uncharted
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
It aims high, but it settles low, and the result comes off as fairly anonymous...The series deserves better, as does Tom Holland and Nathan Drake both. It might not be a terrible way to spend two hours; just dont expect to make any new discoveries.
Posted Feb 18, 2022
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7/10
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BigBug
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Big Bug is a highly binary film. Its very much a love it or leave it kind of thing...a highly specific combination of dystiopian sci-fi, satire, and locked door existentialism. Personally, it pushes my buttons. As it were.
Posted Feb 12, 2022
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8/10
|
Scream
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
This is a slasher film that autopsies itself before the audience's eyes to show not only what makes it tick but to show what makes US tick.
Posted Jan 14, 2022
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6/10
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The 355
(2022)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
This is a film that delivers the package with fire and flair...as long as you don't mind a few scorch marks or cracks on it when it arrives.
Posted Jan 07, 2022
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6/10
|
The Matrix Resurrections
(2021)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Despite all the elements that work - and several of them work very, very well - the thing connecting all those elements is a confused, self-centered narrative.
Posted Dec 23, 2021
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8/10
|
Spider-Man: No Way Home
(2021)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
This could only come about by carefully archiving, arranging, and remixing 20 years of superhero film history across multiple timelines, directors, and franchises.
Posted Dec 17, 2021
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6/10
|
House of Gucci
(2021)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Let's be clear about one thing when it comes to House of Gucci: this is Gaga's show, and the rest of us are just supporting players in it.
Posted Nov 24, 2021
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6/10
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Eternals
(2021)
|
Johnny Gayzmonic
|
Although it's ultimately enjoyable, a film this epic shouldn't feel like just another step in the MCU timeline.
Posted Nov 05, 2021
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