The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part
The Walking Dead
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All Critics (9)
| Top Critics (2)
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| Rotten (9)
"The Starving Games" has the look and feel of a talent show put on by a high school whose imminent closing has not inspired any noticeable public outcry.
Really, a movie as lame as this one doesn't merit the expenditure of snark.
Lowbrow, violent spoof with plenty of juvenile sex humor.
Even a spoof fan has his limits and this one very closely approaches it.
It's safe to say that no one in their right mind would find any of (this) clever or entertaining.
[The directors] are from the Seth McFarlane school of comedy, subscribing to the philosophy that if it's familiar, even vaguely, it must be funny...
It's safe to report that The Starving Games falls perfectly in line with their previous endeavors. That's critic code for, "Dear lord, this feature is insufferable, please make it stop."
Not so much a "film" as "83 minutes of terrible things happening on a screen."
83 minutes of rancorous stereotyping, lame bathroom gags and aimless, often bafflingly outdated film references.
The fact that Paul Walker died & these idiots are still alive is further proof that God doesn't exist.
The only starving there is are the STARVING kids in Africa, & these fucktards are still getting money to make these so-called 'movies'! And after the success of "Vampires Sucks" thanks to all the idiots who paid to go see it, Seltzer & Freidberg will still continue their brain damaging assaults of this garbage.
And go ahead, try & throw in the "You're taking a movie that only tries to get cheap laughs too seriously" or "Grow up & get a freakin' sense of humor!!!!1111!!" or "You're only hating this because it's making fun of that abomination Hunger Games movie!!!111" cards at me; it will only tell me that the people who are actually trying to defend these guys & their atrocious films are nothing but absolute retards.
I HAVE a sense of humor, whereas anyone who defends these films with ANY excuse has about as much a sense a humor as Justin Bieber has brains. These aren't comedy, let alone films. Comedy requires satire, wit, HUMOR, sense, & good writing; none of which these fucktards' films has. Their films will only impress attention-deprived retards with no taste (like my sibling). It's all the same recycled shit from their other films, & if one continues to try to defend them then it's obvious they have no say on the subject of comedy, much less a say at all.
"Ohhh, look it's *Insert name of character from one movie*!" Said character later gets a cow dropped on him. "Hi I'm *Name* from *Movie*!!! HAHAHAHAH!!!" Later gets hit or killed by a cheap weapon. If that's someone idea of funny then the world should just start killing themselves.
What's worse is that these two fuck buddies are STILL going to shit out TWO MORE "films". A Fast & Furious one (like that was unexpected), & the still upcoming "spoof" of James Cameron's Avatar "The Greatest Movie of All Time in 3D".
I feel like lambasting the duo of Friedberg and Seltzer has gotten to the point of beating a dead horse. I've been railing against their misbegotten sense of comedy (really just pointless and soon-to-be-dated pop-culture references) for years, declaring three of their terrible spoof movies as my worst film of that year. There is no love lost between me and these two men, and yet I feel the sense to restrain my ire when it comes to their latest, The Starving Games. It's another witless comedy caper, this time using the popular Hunger Games series as its skeleton to hang its desperate jokes upon. These guys don't know what parody is, don't know the particulars of comedy and how to build and payoff a joke. It's the same pattern of ineptitude that will never change. Yet while sitting through all 80 laborious minutes of Starving Games, I felt like Friedberg and Seltzer have come to the realization that the end is nigh for their spoof careers. This last movie didn't get a theatrical release and the production values look chintzy even for them. They used to crank these lousy films out one a year; hell, in 2008 they gave us two. Now they've released two in the last five years. Usually they'll pack a celebrity or, barring that, MadTV alums. Even those are absent. That's right, even this movie couldn't snag a MadTV alum or D-list celeb. Perhaps, as I'd long prayed, the public has grown sour on Friedberg and Seltzer's misunderstanding of comedy and matured enough to realize that pointless references are not the same as parody. In all fairness, I did laugh two times in The Starving Games, both related to Diedrich Bader as President Snowballs. The lead actress, Maiara Walsh, displays a lot of potential. She's a good comic actress, has a tremendous smile, a memorable face, and sturdy poise to slough through this mess. She deserves a better movie and more opportunities.
At this point, you know what you're getting with Friedberg and Seltzer, and that's all you're going to get. However, I just looked online and discovered they have two movies scheduled for release next year, one a Fast and Furious parody (goody), and the other an honest to God spoof-free straight comedy. I'll be fascinated to see what these two have to offer when it comes to non-spoof comedy, but their background fills me with equal parts dread and derisive excitement. Hey, it can't be worse than InAPPropriate Comedy, could it?
Nate's Grade: D
At this point among filmdom (or whatever you choose call it film planet, film world, film committee, etc.) it's common knowledge to avoid anything by the duo of Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg. These two greatest contribution to cinema have always the years they didn't release a film. Unfortunately at this point in these the duo along with the people giving them jobs refuse to use their brains make a competent comedy.
The Starving Game is about Kantmiss Evershot fighting for her life in the 75th annual Starving Games. Like the duo previous films its plagues with the same issues; outdated film references, no comedic consequences, no pacing, non existence plot, absent of characters, to stupid to make fun of, beating a dead horse with every joke, and wasting the audience time. That's the whole film in a nutshell, but where it fails the most is being a basic parody of "The Hunger Games". It does not understand the definition of the word parody. That would have been asking to much from the writers who predict Lady Gaga will become president in the future. Instead of poking fun the film "shaky cam" by simply having a film crew capturing the action why not make a semi-political allegory on the Hollywood system downgrading intellectual properties. Then again, asking for actual minimal effort from the writers that only use "The Expendables" and "The Avengers" as throwaway gags instead of actual participants is a bit too much to expect. Now that I think about it that would have been a whole lot better, but who am I to judge the brilliance of movie where Kantmiss missing Peter as a giant cake next to her in the middle of the woods. Well to the writers credit they did copy the stupidity of that scene from the actual movie...though that's not a good thing either since it had no punch line in its delivery. Much like the film structure it seems my brains cells were not present in this paragraph.
Narratively how does it all play out? If you seen "The Hunger Games" try to imagine the same plot points only brain dead slowly killing your brain cells being filled with unfunny overused jokes. Kantmiss offers herself to participate in the Starving Games (although everyone looks well fed, another miss point to satirize), Kantmiss faking her romance with Peter, underdeveloped little girl who helps Kantmiss gets kicked to death (let that sink in), underdeveloped romance, Kantmiss and Peter in a standoff finale. Talk about being uncreative stealing directly from the source material this duo is "satirizing". I will admit this film did make me laugh one time with a fake commercial for a hamburger (a mixture of pizza, ice cream, buns, vegetables, and other things). However, that joke is soon forgotten when M.I.A. appearce play the earrape known as "Sexy and I Know It" and the I don't understand humanity anymore popularity of Gangnam Style being killed off. Not that these musical references (including Taylor Swift) have no comedic purpose other than being completely superficial to the film just like its creation. Filled with incoherent sight gags, fart jokes, pointless pop culture references, and anything you could imagine from a duo set on destroying any fiber of humor. At least the acting talent despite being given awful material are okay. Diedrich Bader, bless him, who despite the godawful material he's given, still commits to his every line. Likewise, star Maiara Walsh has brief glimpses of talent, but they're usually spoiled a few seconds later by whatever cheap trick the movie has her doing next (like bird poop being thrown at her).
The Starving Game like it title will suggest leaves it does not fill its audience stomach for comedy. Saying this is for the lowest common denominator is an insult to the lowest common denominator. Even at under 83 minutes it fails to have enough material to support itself let alone entertain an audience. In vein of a bad rehashed sequel the duo rinse and repeats every mistakes they committed unable to comprehend the basics of how comedy works.
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