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Chuck Klosterman

Tomatometer-approved critic
Publications:

Reviews

Movies TV Shows
Being John Malkovich (1999) 94% 4/4 EDIT “It sometimes seems like there is more legitimate creativity in [Malkovich] than there's been in almost every other movie released this year. The script is completely insane and consistently brilliant, and it's funny on almost every level imaginable.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 30, 2023 Full Review Drive Me Crazy (1999) 27% 2.5/4 EDIT “There's more to like about this movie than you'd probably expect (certainly more than I did). Besides, the all-girl band the Donnas performs a cover of REO Speedwagon's Keep On Lovin' You at the big high school dance. That alone is worth $7.50.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 30, 2023 Full Review Random Hearts (1999) 18% 3/4 EDIT “That kind of unorthodox (and perhaps unintentional) undercurrent is precisely what keeps Random Hearts interesting. Time and again, we see people reacting in ways that are unexpected, yet somehow realistic.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 30, 2023 Full Review Anna and the King (1999) 52% 2.5/4 EDIT “Perhaps the true problem with Anna and the King is its medium; this probably should have been a TV miniseries... It has all the problems of an overlong art piece, but it still feels incomplete.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 30, 2023 Full Review End of Days (1999) 11% 1.5/4 EDIT “End of Days is never interesting and usually silly, but it might help Arnold get some momentum if he really does run for the governorship of California. At least he'll get the anti-Satan vote.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 30, 2023 Full Review The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc (1999) 31% 2.5/4 EDIT “Parts of The Messenger are downright inspiring. Unfortunately, other parts are accidently funny, and a few are simply boring. This is ultimately a sprawling fiasco with a few glimmers of greatness.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 30, 2023 Full Review Anywhere but Here (1999) 64% 2/4 EDIT “By the end of Anywhere But Here, everything has worked out perfectly (and predictably), but that perfection seems implausible and almost disappointing.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 30, 2023 Full Review Bats (1999) 19% 1/4 EDIT “The mechanical bats... are among the worst movie props in recent history. Sometimes they look like cats with wings; sometimes they resemble gargoyles; sometimes they look like little gray Yodas with oversize incisor teeth.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 30, 2023 Full Review Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) 98% 4/4 EDIT “There is something unworldly about [Tiger] that makes it seem like a story you imagined, not a film you watched on a screen. Somehow, the film is transcendent -- but in a completely straightforward manner. Quite simply, this is the year's best picture.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 30, 2023 Full Review Freddy Got Fingered (2001) 12% 1.5/4 EDIT “One gets the impression that Green consciously tried to make the worst film ever produced, and he’s doing it simply because a boardroom full of suits at 20th Century Fox gave him a dump truck of money.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 30, 2023 Full Review Human Traffic (1999) 59% 2.5/4 EDIT “Watching this movie is sort of like taking drugs: Human Traffic is great fun for the 84 minutes you're there, but it's hard to remember what exactly happened and ultimately feels pointless (at least in retrospect).” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 30, 2023 Full Review Turn It Up (2000) 10% 2.5/4 EDIT “This is one of those pictures that is at its best when illustrating a certain kind of life in a certain kind of place at a certain point in U.S. history. In 40 years, it might make a valuable period piece.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 30, 2023 Full Review Gladiator (2000) 80% 3/4 EDIT “The individual performances are great and the images are stunning, and -- perhaps most important -- Gladiator offers an escapist quality that makes its derivative flaws seem minor.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 30, 2023 Full Review Bringing Out the Dead (1999) 74% 2/4 EDIT “It seems like Bringing Out the Dead should be highly complex and multi-layered, but it's unlikely that anyone would walk out of the theater at its conclusion with new insight on anything.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 30, 2023 Full Review Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000) 14% 2/4 EDIT “All the characters make these self-evident, monotone comments about all the supernatural insanity that plagues them, and nobody seems nearly as upset as they should be.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 28, 2023 Full Review The Watcher (2000) 11% 1.5/4 EDIT “What's ultimately most frustrating about The Watcher is the way it takes a scenario that's genuinely frightening and makes it seem implausible.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 28, 2023 Full Review Shaft (2000) 67% 3/4 EDIT “This is really a totally different creation, and it ends up being almost as good for totally different reasons.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 28, 2023 Full Review The Straight Story (1999) 95% 3.5/4 EDIT “This is probably the best Disney movie I've ever seen, and I can't imagine how anyone (and I mean anyone) could not find something appealing about this wholly wonderful narrative.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 28, 2023 Full Review Sleepy Hollow (1999) 71% 2.5/4 EDIT “All the trees are wickedly gnarled, the sky is never blue, and nothing seems real For a story about a headless assassin in 1799, the setting is completely flawless. The story, however, is not.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 28, 2023 Full Review Shadow of the Vampire (2000) 82% 2.5/4 EDIT “Does this mean Shadow of the Vampire is good? Sort of. Does it means it's bad? Sometimes. But it's usually entertaining.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 28, 2023 Full Review Flawless (1999) 40% 2/4 EDIT “The problem is that we really don't care about either of these people. Instead of feeling nervous, I felt bored.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 28, 2023 Full Review Gossip (2000) 29% 1.5/4 EDIT “The college kids in Gossip live unreal lives in an unreal world and deal with unreal problems. We watch them destroy themselves in a remarkably unreal fashion, and I still think we're supposed to feel sorry for them.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 28, 2023 Full Review American Psycho (2000) 68% 2/4 EDIT “I will not give away the ending to American Psycho, but I will say this: The last three scenes are implausible and unnecessary (and totally unrelated to the book) and the ending includes the cheapest, most manipulative trick in filmmaking.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 28, 2023 Full Review The Hurricane (1999) 82% 2/4 EDIT “There are a handful of scenes that Washington carries all by himself, but the rest of The Hurricane is an ill-constructed failure. It's slow and poorly written, and -- somehow -- it's a non-fiction story that often feels unrealistic” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 27, 2023 Full Review Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000) 25% 1.5/4 EDIT “It's too stupid to be offensive, but it's also not edgy enough to be funny. This is just bad in every direction.” – Akron Beacon Journal Oct 27, 2023 Full Review
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