Machete Kills (2013)
Critic Consensus: While possessed with the same schlocky lunacy as its far superior predecessor, Machete Kills loses the first installment's spark in a less deftly assembled sequel.
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as La Chameleón
as Miss San Antonio
as El Camaléon 4
as El Camaléon 2
as Sheriff Doakes
as Mr. President
as Kill Joy
as Nurse Lisa
as Nurse Mona
as El Camaléon 1
as Osiris Amanapur
as Space Babe
as Billy Blair
as Lieutenant Brass
as Doctor Villachez
as Radio Announcer
as Man in Bondage
as Bartender Carlos
as Male Tourist
as Female Tourist
as Cabrito Cook
as Police Captain
as Elderly Attendant
as Doctor Goodbar
as Stuttering Tito
as Doc Felix
as Dying Cartel Guy
as Boss of Mendez
as Cartel Leader
as Wife of Mendez
as Nurse Fine
as Trailer Voice Guy
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Critic Reviews for Machete Kills
Machete Kills is a film in which style sardonically routs substance, a cloying gag built around the iconic quality of Trejo's matchlessly craggy face, which resembles a plate of sundried corned beef.
Machete Kills plays like a joke that's been told a few times too often.
A self-aware exploitation picture that winks as it picks your pocket.
When a celebrity chef like Rodriguez is just going through the motions, we can smell that the grindhouse fad is way past its expiration date. It's time to put a fork in it.
"Machete Kills" is barely a movie. It's an inside joke wrapped in a fanboy fantasy, pieced together through a haze of ironic detachment.
Audience Reviews for Machete Kills
Exploitation films are good when they're over the top. The cheesier, the more outrageous, the sleazier the content, the better the exploitation film. If you're aware of the Robert Rodriguez brand of exploitation (a la "Grindhouse," "Machete," and "Death Proof") than this film will be right in your wheelhouse. This has got to be the biggest and grossest of his films, and has many elements that make a great action film. Every character is perfectly cast, including Amber Heard as a saucy beauty queen, Sofia Vergara as a murderous Madame, Mel Gibson as a maniacal villain, and Carlos Estevez as the bottomed out politician turned president. Everything about this film is strange and big, and silly, and I say that with positive enthusiasm. This is the perfect film if you want something huge and awesome, and unapologetic.
Hey I just realised something that I forgot to mention in the original movie review. You all remember Rodriguez's film 'Desperado' right. Well isn't the character of 'Machete' first seen played by Trejo in that film? the dude with all those small throwing knives strapped around his waist, its virtually the same character. Well once again this movie kicks off with those washed out, scratchy grungy 70's looking exploitation visuals. We actually get quite a neat little retro styled cinema introduction to yet another parody trailer for yet another Machete flick, this time in space. There is that same deep gravely voice narrating the trailer as the corny trademark infringing action explodes onto the screen accompanied by more cheesy action music and lots of hammy retrotastic onscreen text. Quite liked the little moment where 'Bleep' the robot played by Justin Bieber (not really) gets blasted to pieces. From here on though the decision has been made to continue the rest of the films visuals in regular glossy Hollywood fashion dropping the rough grungy B-movie look. I'm not really too sure why they would do that seeing as that visual appearance is the whole point of the franchise, that's its quirky raison d'etre, without it the movie just becomes another daft action flick...only this is just absurdly ridiculous bordering on spoof-like. Unfortunately this is exactly what happens, this movie is so slapdash and crazy that you simply can't really enjoy it. All rules of reality and beyond go completely out the window as Machete is 100% invincible and can literately do anything that is required. Jumping from a great height out of a helicopter into a speed boat and taking out the bad guys on board...no problem, just press the X button and the right shoulder button to perform this special move. Thing is you have the same issue when reviewing these type of flicks. I know its all been shot like this on purpose, I realise the extreme gory bullet ridden lunacy is part of the intentional charm, I realise the characters are larger than life and totally hokey and the whole movie is just a big insane comicbook of violence. I think we all know this, but at what point does it simply go too far and become shit? The plot really doesn't matter in this film (Machete vs Gibson and lots of various henchmen) as its entirely about the action set pieces, one after another, bigger and bigger, more and more over the top. Nothing matters in the film anymore because the protagonist is so God-like its all meaningless, its like playing a videogame with the infinite energy cheat on, fun at first but very boring after about ten minutes. There are only a few positives with this film, one being the unique mix of casting (kinda). The first movie had Seagal as the main boss, this time its Mel Gibson...and I can't deny he does save the day. Seeing Mel play the 'Bond-esque' villain is a real breath of fresh air and he clearly enjoys it. Lets not get carried away he doesn't really do much other than stand around and reel off cliched dialog but his presence is felt, he oozes a slick charm that just makes his villainy so watchable (despite it being highly childish nonsense). The moment he puts the silver mask on the film just sinks to yet another level of utter childish meaningless futile crapola...yet somehow its kinda cool. Why would his voice deepen with the mask on? why are his footsteps now like Robocop? why does he not treat his face before putting the mask on? and how does the mask not move around and feel really uncomfortable? Pointless questions I know but I gotta ask. The rest of the cast are mainly the same as before accept we have more outrageous cameos this time. Lady Gaga as a hitwoman with a talent for disguises (I think)...this led to various little pointless cameos. Savini is back but has changed sides, Rodriguez still plays the tough bitch and still looks like she needs a wash whilst Charlie Sheen goes by his birth name to play the US President. Probably the second best thing about this film after Gibson, Sheen basically plays 'Charlie Harper' as the US President...which basically means he's playing his usual womanising self. The best description for this film frankly is a violent adult version of Austin Powers mixed with James Bond. It sounds like a cheesy thing to say (or type even) but its true! you only have to see the last half of the film which is set in some kind of big weapons lab to realise what I mean. Hell...Gibson only needs a white cat under his arm and the transition would be complete. The only other thing I quite liked was the fact the ending is open and leads into the plot from the trailer you see at the start of the film. The down side of that is the worry they might actually make a third film called 'Machete Kills Again in Space'! This may as well be a comedy because it sure as hell would be a total spoof of damn near everything ever. Time to let this go I think Mr Rodriguez, you had your fun in the first film which was quite good, but this has now gone too far, its been milked and the moment has well and truly past.
stupid and overtly violent, loved it.
Machete Kills Quotes
|La Chameleón:||You and all your drug pushing compadres' just derailed my pursuit so frankly, I'm leaning in another direction entirely.|
|Dying Cartel Guy:||Please, give me mercy|
|La Chameleón:||There's about three things I'd rather give you, and they're all in the chamber of this gun. Straight up, or with some flair? Straight up or flair?|
|Dying Cartel Guy:||Whatever is the more interesting way to die...|
|Miss San Antonio:||This dress cost more than your fucking life!|
|Miss San Antonio:||This dress cost more than your fucking life!|
|Machete:||[Answering the phone] This is Machete!|
|Machete:||This is Machete!|
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