Machete Kills (2013)

TOMATOMETER

AUDIENCE SCORE

Critic Consensus: While possessed with the same schlocky lunacy as its far superior predecessor, Machete Kills loses the first installment's spark in a less deftly assembled sequel.

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Movie Info

In MACHETE KILLS, Danny Trejo returns as ex-Federale agent MACHETE, who is recruited by the President of the United States for a mission which would be impossible for any mortal man - he must take down a madman revolutionary and an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has hatched a plan to spread war and anarchy across the planet. (c) Open Road
Rating:
R (for strong bloody violence throughout, language and some sexual content)
Genre:
Action & Adventure
Directed By:
Written By:
In Theaters:
 wide
On DVD:
Runtime:
Studio:

Cast

Danny Trejo
as Machete
Lady Gaga
as La Chameleón
Jessica Alba
as Sartana
Sofía Vergara
as Desdemona
Marko Zaror
as Zaror
Demian Bichir
as Mendez
Amber Heard
as Miss San Antonio
Antonio Banderas
as El Camaléon 4
Cuba Gooding Jr.
as El Camaléon 2
William Sadler
as Sheriff Doakes
Carlos Esteves
as Mr. President
Alexa Vega
as Kill Joy
Elise Avellan
as Nurse Lisa
Electra Avellan
as Nurse Mona
Samuel Davis
as Clebourne
Walton Goggins
as El Camaléon 1
Tom Savini
as Osiris Amanapur
Callie Hernandez
as Space Babe
Billy Blair
as Billy Blair
Jason Christopher
as Lieutenant Brass
David C. Heard
as Doctor Villachez
Carlos Rodríguez
as Messenger
Juan Zuani
as Radio Announcer
Jimmy Gonzalez
as Man in Bondage
Pablo Bracho
as Bartender Carlos
Ashley Wood
as Male Tourist
Patricia Vonne Rodriguez
as Female Tourist
Vincent Fuentes
as Cabrito Cook
Rick Delgado
as Police Captain
Dan Arellano
as Elderly Attendant
Elle LaMont
as Dollface
Eduardo Rentaria
as Doctor Goodbar
Robert Tamayo
as Stuttering Tito
Feliz Sabates
as Doc Felix
Adgar Arreola
as Estoban
Jorge A. Jimenez
as Dying Cartel Guy
Alejandro Antonio
as Boss of Mendez
Samuel Medina
as Cartel Leader
Crystal Martinez
as Wife of Mendez
Marci Madison
as Nurse Fine
Corey Burton
as Trailer Voice Guy
Elon Musk
as Himself
Carlos Estévez
as Mr. President
Show More Cast

Critic Reviews for Machete Kills

All Critics (117) | Top Critics (30)

Machete Kills is a film in which style sardonically routs substance, a cloying gag built around the iconic quality of Trejo's matchlessly craggy face, which resembles a plate of sundried corned beef.

Full Review… | October 15, 2013
Philadelphia Inquirer
Top Critic

Machete Kills plays like a joke that's been told a few times too often.

Full Review… | October 11, 2013
ReelViews
Top Critic

A self-aware exploitation picture that winks as it picks your pocket.

Full Review… | October 11, 2013
RogerEbert.com
Top Critic

When a celebrity chef like Rodriguez is just going through the motions, we can smell that the grindhouse fad is way past its expiration date. It's time to put a fork in it.

Full Review… | October 11, 2013
St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Top Critic

"Machete Kills" is barely a movie. It's an inside joke wrapped in a fanboy fantasy, pieced together through a haze of ironic detachment.

Full Review… | October 10, 2013
Detroit News
Top Critic

Endless assault weapons, exploding helicopters, crashing cars and floors splattered with blood, limbs and entrails, all adding up to nothing.

Full Review… | October 10, 2013
Newark Star-Ledger
Top Critic

Audience Reviews for Machete Kills

Exploitation films are good when they're over the top. The cheesier, the more outrageous, the sleazier the content, the better the exploitation film. If you're aware of the Robert Rodriguez brand of exploitation (a la "Grindhouse," "Machete," and "Death Proof") than this film will be right in your wheelhouse. This has got to be the biggest and grossest of his films, and has many elements that make a great action film. Every character is perfectly cast, including Amber Heard as a saucy beauty queen, Sofia Vergara as a murderous Madame, Mel Gibson as a maniacal villain, and Carlos Estevez as the bottomed out politician turned president. Everything about this film is strange and big, and silly, and I say that with positive enthusiasm. This is the perfect film if you want something huge and awesome, and unapologetic.

Spencer S.
Spencer S.

Super Reviewer

½

Hey I just realised something that I forgot to mention in the original movie review. You all remember Rodriguez's film 'Desperado' right. Well isn't the character of 'Machete' first seen played by Trejo in that film? the dude with all those small throwing knives strapped around his waist, its virtually the same character. Well once again this movie kicks off with those washed out, scratchy grungy 70's looking exploitation visuals. We actually get quite a neat little retro styled cinema introduction to yet another parody trailer for yet another Machete flick, this time in space. There is that same deep gravely voice narrating the trailer as the corny trademark infringing action explodes onto the screen accompanied by more cheesy action music and lots of hammy retrotastic onscreen text. Quite liked the little moment where 'Bleep' the robot played by Justin Bieber (not really) gets blasted to pieces. From here on though the decision has been made to continue the rest of the films visuals in regular glossy Hollywood fashion dropping the rough grungy B-movie look. I'm not really too sure why they would do that seeing as that visual appearance is the whole point of the franchise, that's its quirky raison d'etre, without it the movie just becomes another daft action flick...only this is just absurdly ridiculous bordering on spoof-like. Unfortunately this is exactly what happens, this movie is so slapdash and crazy that you simply can't really enjoy it. All rules of reality and beyond go completely out the window as Machete is 100% invincible and can literately do anything that is required. Jumping from a great height out of a helicopter into a speed boat and taking out the bad guys on board...no problem, just press the X button and the right shoulder button to perform this special move. Thing is you have the same issue when reviewing these type of flicks. I know its all been shot like this on purpose, I realise the extreme gory bullet ridden lunacy is part of the intentional charm, I realise the characters are larger than life and totally hokey and the whole movie is just a big insane comicbook of violence. I think we all know this, but at what point does it simply go too far and become shit? The plot really doesn't matter in this film (Machete vs Gibson and lots of various henchmen) as its entirely about the action set pieces, one after another, bigger and bigger, more and more over the top. Nothing matters in the film anymore because the protagonist is so God-like its all meaningless, its like playing a videogame with the infinite energy cheat on, fun at first but very boring after about ten minutes. There are only a few positives with this film, one being the unique mix of casting (kinda). The first movie had Seagal as the main boss, this time its Mel Gibson...and I can't deny he does save the day. Seeing Mel play the 'Bond-esque' villain is a real breath of fresh air and he clearly enjoys it. Lets not get carried away he doesn't really do much other than stand around and reel off cliched dialog but his presence is felt, he oozes a slick charm that just makes his villainy so watchable (despite it being highly childish nonsense). The moment he puts the silver mask on the film just sinks to yet another level of utter childish meaningless futile crapola...yet somehow its kinda cool. Why would his voice deepen with the mask on? why are his footsteps now like Robocop? why does he not treat his face before putting the mask on? and how does the mask not move around and feel really uncomfortable? Pointless questions I know but I gotta ask. The rest of the cast are mainly the same as before accept we have more outrageous cameos this time. Lady Gaga as a hitwoman with a talent for disguises (I think)...this led to various little pointless cameos. Savini is back but has changed sides, Rodriguez still plays the tough bitch and still looks like she needs a wash whilst Charlie Sheen goes by his birth name to play the US President. Probably the second best thing about this film after Gibson, Sheen basically plays 'Charlie Harper' as the US President...which basically means he's playing his usual womanising self. The best description for this film frankly is a violent adult version of Austin Powers mixed with James Bond. It sounds like a cheesy thing to say (or type even) but its true! you only have to see the last half of the film which is set in some kind of big weapons lab to realise what I mean. Hell...Gibson only needs a white cat under his arm and the transition would be complete. The only other thing I quite liked was the fact the ending is open and leads into the plot from the trailer you see at the start of the film. The down side of that is the worry they might actually make a third film called 'Machete Kills Again in Space'! This may as well be a comedy because it sure as hell would be a total spoof of damn near everything ever. Time to let this go I think Mr Rodriguez, you had your fun in the first film which was quite good, but this has now gone too far, its been milked and the moment has well and truly past.

Phil Hubbs
Phil Hubbs

Super Reviewer

stupid and overtly violent, loved it.

Stuart Brooks
Stuart Brooks

Super Reviewer

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