Seth MacFarlane Ted Director, Voice Mark Wahlberg John Actor Amanda Seyfried Samantha Actor Jessica Barth Tami-Lynn Actor Giovanni Ribisi Donny Actor Morgan Freeman Patrick Meighan Actor Sam Jones Self Patrick Warburton Guy Actor Michael Dorn Rick Actor Bill Smitrovich Frank Actor John Slattery Shep Wild Actor Cocoa Brown Joy Actor John Carroll Lynch Tom Jessup Actor Ron Canada Judge Actor Liam Neeson Customer Actor Dennis Haysbert Fertility Doctor Actor Patrick Stewart Narrator Tom Brady Self Jay Leno Self Jimmy Kimmel Self Kate McKinnon Self Bobby Moynihan Self Taran Killam Self Alec Sulkin Executive Producer Wellesley Wild Executive Producer Scott Stuber Producer Jason Clark Producer John Jacobs Producer Michael Barrett Cinematographer Jeff Freeman Film Editing Walter Murphy Original Music Stephen J. Lineweaver Production Design Cindy Evans Costume Design Kyra Friedman Curcio Set Decoration Sheila Jaffe Casting