This Means War Reviews
(Full review TBD)
It's Bad! Really Bad! Not in a good way i can't stand this film.
I'd Rather Watch Last Boy Scout or even Eraser Instead.
Managing to capture the same feeling of camaraderie as in his Charlies Angels Full throttle offering, ex brash music- video director McG has married a stellar cast with witty repartee in an epic battle of one-upmanship. After all, all is fair in love and war.
CIA special-ops agents Franklin (Chris Pine) and Tuck (Tom Hardy) have a special kind of friendship. Claiming they would do anything for each other; even stop a bullet, if it came to that.
When a supposedly covert operation to capture an evil Russian brother-duo ends up a completely public mess with one dead after falling from a Hong Kong high-rise onto a taxi, the pair are grounded in their LA base and consigned to boring and menial desk duties.
Whiling away the time, Tuck wonders about finding the same deep connection he shares with his partner, but with a woman. Snickering Franklin supports Tuck in signing up for an online-dating service, suggesting he waits nearby as an escape route on his first match date with cutesy Blonde named Lauren (Reece Witherspoon).
Although a successful and beautiful single lady, Lauren is in a massive dating rut. After an embarrassing chance encounter with her ex-boyfriend and his perky new girlfriend, Lauren's ravenously horny and highly inappropriate BFF Trish (Chelsea Handler) decides a saucy internet dating profile is just the ticket to get her back in the game.
Both uneasy about re-entering the dating world, Tuck and Laruen overcome the first date jitters and hit it off wonderfully.
Moments after their date; whilst trawling the video shop for something watchable, Lauren is woefully hit on by Franklin. Quickly rebuffing his advances, Lauren leaves the suave operator to resort to creepy stalker mode to secure a date. After accosting her and work, Franklin proceeds to an equality uncomfortable date, however after bumping into her ex again and Franklin plays along, Lauren sees something more behind his over-compensative exterior.
Following Trish's advice and against her better judgement, Lauren decides to begin a relationship with both guys to see which one she has more of a connection with. But as the boys share a gloat about each of their new girlfriends, they realise that they are in fact pursuing the exact same girl.
Coming to an uneasy 'gentleman's pact', they agree to allow Lauren to decide who she will choose without interference or intervention. As their spy natures take hold, each covertly puts together a team to watch her every movement and obtains clues on how to both woe the woman and win the battle.
The competition spurs the two hyper-attentive suitors on and the ensuing dates become increasingly implausible. From a private trapeze lesson, to an exclusive showing of Gustav Klimt painting collection, to a bloodthirsty paintball game and a lap in a limited edition 60's classic car, nothing about this rings remotely true or at all romantic, showing the films true colours as a boys arm-wrestling match, fun to watch but completely irrelevant.
Who will Lauren choose? The seemingly shallow pretty-boy lady-killer Franklin (AKA FDR) or the brawnier, deeper and more genuine divorced father of one Tuck?
Known mostly for their action chops, Hardy (Warrior, Dark Knight Rises, Inception) and Pine (Star Trek, Smokin' Aces, Unstoppable) work well together and develop a palpable kinship; While Witherspoon continues to hone her comedy skills and snappy one-liners along-side the high-censored but still cringe-worthy scene stealing Handler.
The Verdict: Suffering greatly from some hasty last minute editing, this film feels a little jagged and underdeveloped. The buddy bickering, passive-aggressive maneuvers and ikky plot-points helped cover up the essence of creepy stalker-isms employed through wire taps, GPS devices and hidden cameras. Like most storms in a tea cup, this film barely a skirmish makes both on screen and critically.
Published: The Queanbeyan Age
Date of Publication: 17/02/2012
1) CIA agents can spend lots of money, time, and resources on personally violating the rights of those they claim to love.
2) Women will be totally cool with all those violations if you're hot.
3) Women will always go for the "bad boy" because he changes just for her.
4) If you're boning a stewardess on the side, plus have an upskirt swimming pool for your regular conquests, it's totally ok to poach your lonely, divorced friend's romantic interest because you saw her, too.
5) Putting womens' lives in imminent danger because you're an inveterate liar is totally cool if one of them had sex with you.