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Hitman: Agent 47 fails to clear the low bar set by its predecessor, forsaking thrilling action in favor of a sleekly hollow mélange of dull violence and product placement.
All Critics (119)
| Top Critics (28)
| Fresh (11)
| Rotten (108)
Resembles a uniquely boring, feature-length Audi commercial, incidentally intent on pinching ideas from the first two Terminators.
Agent 47 doesn't feel like a character who's got what it takes to be a franchise hero - he, and the film, are lacking in personality.
Only a bare minimum of non-action scenes were included in the final cut. There's enough here to piece together a rudimentary storyline but the details are often either confusing or nonsensical.
The friction between stateliness and lunacy is more intriguing than, say, the line-toeing mediocrity of a second-rate Marvel movie.
As such films go, it's efficiently done juvenilia.
Ultimately "Hitman: Agent 47," like the profession it worships, feels purely contractual.
The script isn't notable on any front, but the actors are admirable in that they mostly try to take their job seriously.
Hitman: Agent 47 does feel like an actual film, with attention to detail from writers Skip Woods and Michael Finch and the ability to build narrative and momentum through imagery from director Aleksander Bach.
It seems this half-baked film only uses explosions to use shield us from the plot holes.
The story is elementary and formulaically predictable. Even using the word "story" seems to be giving it more credit than it is due.
Hitman: Agent 47 is tedious, soulless and, for a film with a relatively trim runtime, seemingly never-ending.
Like previous robot hitman films, this one also sucks.
A mediocre sci-fi thriller, Hitman: Agent 47 is a mindless action film that's mildly entertaining at best. Looking to reconstitute a defunct super-solider program a group known as the Syndicate tries to find the daughter of the elusive doctor who created the program, hoping that she can lead them to him. The plot is really convoluted and hard to follow. And, the acting is piss-poor; with the exception of Zachary Quinto, who plays to type. However, the fight scenes and chases are exciting and keep the film moving. Overly complicated and too focused on fan service, Hitman: Agent 47 is a hot mess.
Holy schnitzel! yet another reboot!! I guess the main difference here is the fact they have actually tried to reboot a poor movie instead of a decent one. The quite unsurprising, yet still, truly gobsmacking and painful fact is Hollywood just doesn't get it, they just don't ever ever learn! I mean seriously, a child picks up things quicker than Hollywood. They are creating an adaptation of a popular videogame franchise, they know what has happened before, they know what people want, they know about the pitfalls, but somehow...some bloody how...they make all the same mistakes again. I here by present to you my review of 'Resident Evil 6: Agent 47'.
So, there's this single agent bloke, he's a super soldier, assassin, clone, type bloke with all the trimmings you would expect. Speed, strength, agility, intelligence, super reflexes, bigger than average cock...the list goes on. The old bloke who created this project grew a conscience and ran off trying to hide the secret to creating these super soldiers. But guess what, some really evil nasty corporation wants the secret so they can make lots of these guys and conquer the world...or something like that. So the evil corporation goes after the daughter of the old bloke who started all this. At the same time, another mysterious corporation wants both the old bloke and his daughter whacked presumably to stop the secret falling into the wrong hands? They send in agent 47 in to do this, so they obviously control the only super soldier clone going and they wanna keep it that way.
Now to look at this movie you'll see right away its slick, but slick in a predictable way. What I mean by that is...the Resident Evil movie franchise. Everything looks very glossy, very clean, very polished, with lots and lots of hi-tec computer screen readouts, security jiggery-pokery and top secret undercover assassin type net imagery, that all flashes about in front of you trying to impress you (but no monsters...even though, I'm sure they would have loved to). This world put simply, looks fake, plastic, sterile and way too obviously CGI. You can't immerse yourself within this world because it all looks so flippin' fake, I hate to say it but yes at times this movie does look like a videogame cutscene. There are some solid action sequences I won't deny, there are plenty of little snippets that naturally do service the fanboys of the videogame and rightly so. At times I liked what I saw because clearly there was some thought involved and decent choreography is evident, some nice gun fights and some nice fisticuffs, plus the main character (Rupert friend) is actually well performed and looks the part.
The big problem is everything is completely let down by outrageously obvious CGI usage and ridiculously stupid action sequences which are in no way remotely believable. Yes I know this is a videogame adaptation hence you should suspend your disbelief, but that doesn't mean the movie has to be some kind of inane, gravity defying, realism defying CGI mess. Secondly, isn't the original game supposed to be based around stealth, lurking in shadows, taking people out silently...you know, discretion, acting like an actual assassin would. So why in blazes does agent 47 run around raining down carnage on everyone and everything without even pausing to take a piss, or maybe, just maybe, worry about the law, which apparently doesn't exist in this world. I mean, lets look at one very small sequence near the start where agent 47 escapes from the police (the one time we see them). He's in this locked room with guards and some gruff detective, or whatever, asking him questions. The detective puts 47's bigass sniper rifle on the table in front of him and questions him hard, eventually getting pissed off he loads it with one bullet and threatens to maybe shoot. 47 basically thanks him for bringing him his gun and loading it, he then kicks the underneath of the table which somehow causes it to fire whilst lifting it in the air. At the same time 47 raises his cuffed arm to allow the freshly fired bullet to break the chain and voila! he's free. The question is, what if that detective had never loaded the gun? or put the gun on the table? or even brought it in the room? then what?? huh???
Apart from the nonsensical CGI shenanigans there are also many other obvious problems here. For a start the beginning of the pot is basically ripped off from 'The Terminator', its so bloody obvious! That's before it descents into boring, familiar, shiny white, sterile, baddie environments set within futuristic buildings (cough! Resi evil cough!). I also have to mention how none of it makes much sense (come on, you saw this coming surely). 47 changes his clothes a lot, a bloody lot! how does he have the time to do this?? how come everything he changes into looks custom made to fit him?? and most of the time it doesn't even feel relevant, its like they do it just to reference the game. I'm not too up on the videogame I'll be honest, I did play one of them way back, can't recall which, but I don't recall 47 ever speaking much. I realise you might require him to speak a bit but why not take the [i]Mad Max[/i] route here, or the Clint Eastwood 'man with no name' route, and not have him speaking much at all. Here he starts like that but eventually becomes like...this regular dude. At first he's this slow moving stalker type (walks everywhere yet always manages to catch up with his prey...eh?) who only mutters, by the end he's this smartass with a sidekick.
Oh and what is the deal with the sidekick? Spolier alert she's an advanced agent too, because of course, and because you have to have a strong female role in everything these days or people lose their minds apparently. So she is better than 47, she is 90, see that means she's better because its a higher number. This lady agent has really heightened senses, which sounds plausible enough...but is it here? In this film she's apparently able to virtually see into the future from what I could make out, she can see exactly what's gonna happen plus she can regain shittonnes of backdated memory just by touching another persons hand like some kind of supernatural power.
Lets not even begin to talk about how utterly useless and inept the baddies are in this, hordes of them armed to the teeth, yet no one can manage a single hit on the good guys, ugh! This genuinely looked quite good from outset, it really looked like they might have nailed it. In some aspects they have, generally visuals are crisp and exciting with nice videogame touches, but its just let down with so much tacky shit and some terrible acting (accept for Friend who wasn't too bad). This should of been a slow moving adult thriller with darkness and gritty realism, instead its just childish CGI packed nonsense, I really thought we had seen the last of movies like this.
After a strong, almost Terminator 2-ian first act (which unfortunately, much like Terminator 2, was totally ruined by the trailers), Hitman: Agent 47 meanders along bewildered and pointless until reaching its non-event climax, thankfully quickly.
Killing machines that can take out poor regular humans by the truckload, terminators, seem all the rage at the local cinema lately (I'm talking strictly on the screen unfortunately), and of the two recent forays into that genre I liked this one best simply because there was no beating around the bush: let's just get down to the business of wiping out sons-of-witches all over the place, no salt, no pepper, no questions. The body pileup, like a videogame, only misses the blood and bodies disappearing of their own accord that those types of adventure mediums specialize in. There's a story too but, really, is that necessary? It would only be unbelievable anyway, and this one does not fail in that regard. All of these films depend on one conceit: the bad guys all attack one at a time, quite unlike the truth one witnesses out in the real world where swarming is the rule of thumb, but I digress. Killing people, and killing lots of them? This is for you.
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