Jim Carrey

Highest Rated: 94% Under the Sea 3D (2009)

Lowest Rated: 0% Dark Crimes (2018)

Birthday: Jan 17, 1962

Birthplace: Newmarket, Ontario, Canada

Arguably the top screen comedian of the 1990s, Canadian-born entertainer Jim Carrey has combined equal parts of his idol Jerry Lewis, his spiritual ancestor Harry Ritz, and the loose-limbed Ray Bolger into a gleefully uninhibited screen image that is uniquely his own.Carrey's life wasn't always a barrel of laughs; he was born on January 17, 1962, into a peripatetic household that regularly ran the gamut from middle-class comfort to abject poverty. Not surprisingly, Carrey became a classic overachiever, excelling in academics while keeping his classmates in stitches with his wild improvisations and elastic facial expressions. His comedy club debut at age 16 was a dismal failure, but Carrey had already resolved not to be beaten down by life's disappointments (as his father, a frustrated musician, had been). By age 22, he was making a good living as a standup comic, and was starring on the short-lived sitcom The Duck Factory -- a series which curiously did little to take advantage of its star's uncanny physical dexterity. Throughout the 1980s, Carrey appeared in supporting roles in such films as Peggy Sue Got Married (1986) and Earth Girls are Easy (1990). Full television stardom came Carrey's way in 1990 as the resident "white guy" on Keenan Ivory Wayans' Fox TV comedy In Living Color. The most popular of the comedian's many characterizations on the program was the grotesquely disfigured Fire Marshal Bill, whose dubious safety tips brought down the wrath of real-life fire prevention groups -- and also earned Carrey the ultimate accolade of being imitated by other comics. 1994 proved to be "The Year of Carrey," with the release of three top-grossing comedy films to his credit: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Mask, and Dumb and Dumber. By the end of the year, Carrey was commanding seven to ten million dollars per picture. In 1995, the actor/comedian took over for Robin Williams as The Riddler in the blockbuster film Batman Forever, and, in 1996, he tried his hand at a darker and more menacing role as a maniacal cable repairman in The Cable Guy. The film, and Carrey's at-times frightening performance, received decidedly mixed reviews from critics and audiences. Despite the generally negative response to the film, Carrey still retained an interest in branching out into more dramatic roles. Following a return to all-out comedy in Liar, Liar (1997) as a chronically dishonest attorney, Carrey explored new territory with his lead role in the highly acclaimed The Truman Show (1998), Peter Weir's eerie comedy drama about the perils of all-consuming media manipulation. Critical respect in hand, Carrey returned to comedy of a different sort with the lead role in Milos Forman's Man on the Moon (1999), a much-anticipated biopic of the legendary comic Andy Kaufman. Although the film boasted a powerhouse performance from Carrey, it earned less than stellar reviews and did poor business at the box office. Such was the strength of the actor's portrayal, however, that his exclusion from the Best Actor nominations at that year's Academy Awards was a source of protest for a number of industry members. Carrey returned to straight comedy the following year with the Farrelly brothers' Me, Myself & Irene, in which he starred as a cop with a split personality, both of whom are in love with the same woman (Renée Zellweger). Though that film fared the least successful of the Farrellys' efforts to that point, Carrey's anarchic persona was given seemingly free range and the result was his most unhinged role since The Mask. That same year, he assumed the lead role in Ron Howard's Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas, raking in the money at the box-office and receiving a Golden Globe nomination despite widespread critical-contempt for the film. Continuing to seek acceptance as a skilled dramatist, Carrey next appeared in the 2001 box-office bomb The Majestic.Undeterred by the failure of The Majestic, Carrey returned again to both comedy and box-office su

Photos

View All Photos (44)

Highest Rated Movies

Under the Sea 3D
94%
The Truman Show
94%
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
93%
Peggy Sue Got Married
85%

Filmography

MOVIES

RATING	TITLE	CREDIT	BOX OFFICE	YEAR
0%	Dark Crimes	Tadek	—	2018
43%	The Bad Batch	Hermit	$0.2M	2017
75%	Rubble Kings	Producer	—	2015
No Score Yet	Ricky Stanicky	Actor	—	2015
29%	Dumb and Dumber To	Lloyd Christmas	—	2014
33%	Kick-Ass 2	Colonel Stars and Stripes	$28.9M	2013
37%	The Incredible Burt Wonderstone	Steve Gray	$22.6M	2013
47%	Mr. Popper's Penguins	Mr. Popper	$68.2M	2011
No Score Yet	Ripley's Believe It or Not!	Robert Ripley	—	2011
72%	I Love You Phillip Morris	Steven Russell	$2.1M	2010
54%	Disney's A Christmas Carol	Scrooge/Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Yet to Come	$137.9M	2009
No Score Yet	Autism: Made in the U.S.A.	Actor	—	2009
94%	Under the Sea 3D	Narrator	$35.1M	2009
No Score Yet	Autism: Made in the USA	Actor	—	2009
46%	Yes Man	Carl Allen	$97.7M	2008
79%	Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who!	Horton	$154.4M	2008
No Score Yet	Comic Relief: The Greatest...and The Latest	Actor	—	2008
8%	The Number 23	Walter Sparrow/Det. Fingerling	$35.1M	2007
No Score Yet	Copper Mountain: A Club Med Experience	Actor	—	2006
29%	Fun With Dick and Jane	Dick Harper Producer	$110.4M	2005
71%	Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events	Count Olaf	$118.5M	2004
93%	Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind	Joel Barish	$34.2M	2004
49%	Bruce Almighty	Bruce Nolan Producer	$242.6M	2003
No Score Yet	Pecan Pie	Actor	—	2003
No Score Yet	America: A Tribute to Heroes	Actor	—	2001
42%	The Majestic	Peter/Luke	—	2001
53%	Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas	The Grinch	$259.1M	2000
47%	Me, Myself & Irene	Charlie Baileygates/Hank	$0.6M	2000
63%	Man on the Moon	Andy Kaufman/Tony Clifton	—	1999
44%	Simon Birch	Adult Joe	—	1998
94%	The Truman Show	Truman Burbank	—	1998
81%	Liar Liar	Fletcher Reede	—	1997
53%	The Cable Guy	Chip Douglas	—	1996
33%	Ace Ventura - When Nature Calls	Ace Ventura	—	1995
39%	Batman Forever	Riddler/Edward Nygma	—	1995
67%	Dumb and Dumber	Lloyd Christmas	—	1994
77%	The Mask	Stanley Ipkiss	—	1994
46%	Ace Ventura: Pet Detective	Screenwriter Ace Ventura	—	1993
No Score Yet	Doing Time on Maple Drive	Tim Carter	—	1992
No Score Yet	High Strung	Death (uncredited)	—	1991
21%	Pink Cadillac	Lounge Entertainer	—	1989
66%	Earth Girls Are Easy	Wiploc	—	1989
57%	The Dead Pool	Johnny Squares	—	1988
85%	Peggy Sue Got Married	Walter Getz	—	1986
18%	Once Bitten	Mark Kendall	—	1985
No Score Yet	Finders Keepers	Lane Biddlecoff	—	1984
No Score Yet	Rubberface	Actor	—	1981

TV

RATING	TITLE	CREDIT	YEAR
73%	Kidding 2018	Executive Producer Jeff/Mr. Pickles Jeff Pickles	2018
No Score Yet	Real Time With Bill Maher 2003	Guest	2018
93%	The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling 2018	Actor	2018
51%	I'm Dying Up Here 2017	Executive Producer	2018 2017
No Score Yet	The Late Late Show With James Corden 2015	Guest	2017
No Score Yet	Jimmy Kimmel Live 2003	Guest	2017 2014
No Score Yet	Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee 2012	Appearing	2015
No Score Yet	The Graham Norton Show 2007	Guest	2014
No Score Yet	The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 2014	Guest	2014
No Score Yet	Saturday Night Live 1975	Host Guest Actor	2014 2011 2002 1996
No Score Yet	Inside Comedy 2012-2015	Guest	2013
No Score Yet	MTV First 2011-2014	Appearing	2013
80%	30 Rock 2006-2013	Dave Williams	2012
No Score Yet	Inside the Actors Studio 1994	Guest	2011
No Score Yet	Late Night With Jimmy Fallon 2009-2014	Guest	2011
88%	The Office 2005-2013	Actor	2011
No Score Yet	The Tonight Show With Jay Leno 1992-2014	Guest	2011 2003 2000
No Score Yet	American Idol 2002-2016	Appearing	2008
100%	The Larry Sanders Show 1992-1998	Actor	1998 1997
No Score Yet	Dennis Miller Live 1994-2002	Guest	1994
No Score Yet	In Living Color 1990-1994	Performer Actor	1994 1993 1992 1991 1990

Quotes from Jim Carrey's Characters

Harry Dunne:	Boy, I sure wish I could have been there when she was little.
Lloyd Christmas:	Whatever. That's all water under the fridge now, Har. Think of the bright side. You're finally getting to meet her, and you never had to change those poopy diapers.
Harry Dunne:	That's called being a parent, Lloyd. Besides, I changed your poopy diapers for 20 years.
Lloyd Christmas:	I totally sucked you in. Half the time, it wasn't even my poop.

Ace Ventura:

All righty then!

Charlie Baileygates/Hank:

What are you staring at, fucker? You wanna start me up? Just open the choke and pull the cord, pal. I'm due for a seismic event and you're dancing on the fault line.

Lloyd Christmas:

I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy.

Truman Burbank:	Was nothing real?
Christof:	You were real... that's what make you so good to watch.

Truman Burbank:	Was nothing real?
Christof:	You were real... that's what make you so good to watch.

Harry Dunne:	This is my associate, Dr. Christmas.
Dr. Meldmann:	Christmas, as in the holiday?
Lloyd Christmas:	No, as in the tree.

Harry Dunne:	Harry Dunne: Whoa, Lloyd. Check out the hotties at 12 o'clock.
Lloyd Christmas:	Lloyd Christmas: That's three hours away. Why can't I check 'em out now?

Harry Dunne:	You're hot for my daughter!
Lloyd Christmas:	What?
Harry Dunne:	Am I right?
Lloyd Christmas:	That's insane!

Harry Dunne:	You were right, Lloyd. She was definitely worth the trip.
Lloyd Christmas:	Yeah. she's something, ain't she, Har? I'm glad we were able to help her out.

Fletcher Reede:

The pen is blue!

Chip Douglas the Cable Guy:

Let's see what you got white shadow!

Chip Douglas the Cable Guy:	When your love is truly given, it will come back to you tenfold.
Steven:	You're right. That's incredibly insightful.
Chip Douglas the Cable Guy:	I know. It was Jerry Springer's Final Thought on Friday's show.

Ace Ventura:

That was close one ladies and gentlemen, of course in every contest, there must be, a loser. Lew-Who, Za-Her.

Lloyd Christmas:

Got ya!

Joel Barish:

Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating

Joel Barish:	I can't remember anything without you.
Clementine Kruczynski:	Aw, that's... very sweet, but try.

Joel Barish:

Sand is overrated. It's just tiny, little rocks.

Lloyd Christmas:	Are you flying somewhere?
Lloyd Christmas:	So, where are you headin'?
Mary Swanson:	Yeah, how'd you guess?
Mary Swanson:	Aspen.
Lloyd Christmas:	Saw the luggage, and you're going to the airport, and i put them together.
Lloyd Christmas:	Hmmm, California! Beautiful!
Lloyd Christmas:	Where you going?
Mary Swanson:	Aspen
Lloyd Christmas:	Ahh...California!

Dr. Chase Meridian:	Edward.
Riddler/Edward Nygma:	Who... is it?
Dr. Chase Meridian:	Its Dr. Meridian, Chase... you remember me?
Riddler/Edward Nygma:	How could I forget?
Dr. Chase Meridian:	Dr. Burton tells me, you know who Batman is?
Riddler/Edward Nygma:	I can't tell you if you don't say please!
Dr. Chase Meridian:	Edward please, Who is Batman!?
Riddler/Edward Nygma:	I'm! Batman!

Andy Kaufman:

Here I come to save the day.

Llamando Conde Olaf:

Damnit. This was such a good character.

Joel Barish:	Can it cause brain damage?
Dr. Howard Mierzwiak:	Well, technically it IS brain damage.
Dr. Howard Mierzwiak:	Well, technically it is brain damage.

Lloyd Christmas:	What happened, Harry? Some little filly break your heart?
Harry Dunne:	No. It was a girl.

Fletcher Reede:

Great! I'll catch you around dikhead!

Fletcher Reede:	(being angrily asked what his problem is by angry driver) I'm an inconsidered prick!
Fletcher Reede:	I'm an inconsiderate prick!

Bruce Nolan:

Is the bed light of my life! Erouting beneath me! Erouuuting! Erouutting! Erouuuting!.. I'm Bruce Nolan. Back to you, fuckers!

Ebenezer Scrooge:

Tuppence is tuppence.

Colonel Stars and Stripes:

We are the good guys.

Ace Ventura:

Be careful with that phone, lieutenant. In time, you could develop a tumor.

Lloyd Christmas:	Listen, Mr. Samsonite
Lloyd Christmas:	Listen, Mr. Samsonite.

Ace Ventura:

You know, you could poke somebody's eye out with that thing.

Chip Douglas the Cable Guy:

You know, from this angle, you look just like Dizzy Gillespie. Salt Peanuts! Salt peanuts!

Horton:	Hello!
Mayor:	Hello?
Horton:	I don't know exactly how to tell you this, but you're living on a speck.
Mayor:	Seriously, who is this? Is this Burt from accounting?

Colonel Stars and Stripes:	"As long as your heart’s in the right place, we don’t care what you put in your mouth,”
Colonel Stars and Stripes:	As long as your heart's in the right place, we don't care what you put in your mouth.

Riddler/Edward Nygma:

Riddle me this, riddle me that, who's afraid of the big black bat?

Colonel Stars and Stripes:

Yeah, there's a dog on your balls!

Colonel Stars and Stripes:

Colonel Stars and Stripes, reporting for duty.

The Colonel:

Jeez, language!

The Colonel:	Colonel stars and stripes reporting for duty
Javier:	Colonel stars and stripes reporting for duty.

The Colonel:

Try to Have fun. Otherwise what's the point.

Fulton Greenwall:	Please forgive me sir but if we don't hurry now, we might miss the plane.
Ace Ventura:	Of course. how selfish of me. Let's do all the things that you wanna do.

Christof:	I know you better than you know yourself.
Truman Burbank:	You never had a camera in my head.

Riddler/Edward Nygma:

Like the Jacket? it keeps me safe when I'm jogging at night.

The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss:	Look mom, I'm roadkill. Ha Ha!!!
The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss:	Look mom, I'm roadkill. Ha Ha!

Steve Gray:

Tada!

Fletcher Reede:	I'm kicking my ass! DO YA MIND?!
Fletcher Reede:	I'm kicking my ass! Do ya mind?

Fletcher Reede:	Here it goes, I sped, I followed too closely, I ran a stop sign, I almost hit a chevy, I sped some more, I failed to yield at a crosswalk, I sped some more, I changed lanes in the intersection, I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light, and speeding!!!
Fletcher Reede:	Here it goes, I sped, I followed too closely, I ran a stop sign, I almost hit a chevy, I sped some more, I failed to yield at a crosswalk, I sped some more, I changed lanes in the intersection, I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light, and speeding!

Fletcher Reede:

I'm glad my gift could bring those two closer together. My plan to phase myself out is almost complete.

Jerry:	Hey! Great gift dad!
Fletcher Reede:	Thanks son!

Lloyd Christmas:	Austria!? Well then. Good day mate. Let's put another shrimp on the bar-b.
Lloyd Christmas:	Austria? Well then. Good day mate. Let's put another shrimp on the barbie.

Ace Ventura:

If I'm not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer.

Neighbor:	What do you want?
Ace Ventura:	HDS Sir! and how are you this afternoon? Alrighty then. I have a package for you.
Neighbor:	Sounds Broken.
Ace Ventura:	Most likely sir, I'll bet it was something nice though.

The Grinch:

Max, grab a bag. we'll come back for the rest. Of course when I say "we" I mean "you."

The Grinch:	Maybe Christmas,
Narrator:	he thought,
Narrator:	He thought,
The Grinch:	Doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas perhaps, means a little bit more.
The Grinch:	Doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.

The Grinch:

(throwing mail into wrong boxes) Jury duty, jury duty, pink slip, black mail, addiction letter, jury duty jury duty . . . .

The Grinch:	oh no, the sleigh, the presents, they'll be destroyed, and I care. WHAT IS THE DEAL? WAIT! This can't happen. It couldn't, shouldn't, musn't, wouldn't. not now, not then, not ever again! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
The Grinch:	Oh no, the sleigh, the presents, they'll be destroyed, and I care. WHAT IS THE DEAL? WAIT! This can't happen. It couldn't, shouldn't, musn't, wouldn't. Not now, not then, not ever again! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Bruce Nolan:	Anyway, I'm here with Katharine Hepburn's mum. Now tell me, why did you throw the 'Heart Of The Ocean' Jewel over the railing of the Titanic? Did you feel bad at all letting Leo DiCaprio drown while you were safe floating on the big door? Would you have taken turns or were you just to afraid to freeze your big fat ASS OFF?
Bruce Nolan:	Anyway, I'm here with Katharine Hepburn's mum. Now tell me, why did you throw the "Heart Of The Ocean" jewel over the railing of the Titanic? Did you feel bad at all letting Leo DiCaprio drown while you were safe floating on the big door? Would you have taken turns or were you just to afraid to freeze your big fat ASS OFF?

Joel Barish:	Why do i fall in love with every woman I see that shows me the least bit of attention
Joel Barish:	Why do I fall in love with every woman I see that shows me the least bit of attention?

Joel Barish:	I remember that speech really well.
Clementine Kruczynski:	I had you pegged, didn't I?
Joel Barish:	You had the whole human race pegged.
Patrick:	Hmmm. Probably

Lois Einhorn:	Listen, Pet Dick. How would you like me to make your life a living hell?
Ace Ventura:	Well, I am not really ready for a relationship now, Lois. But thank you for asking.

Chip Douglas the Cable Guy:

Right into the buckle. That's gotta hurt, Gene!

Riddler/Edward Nygma:

Your entrance was good, his was better. The difference, showmanship.

Chip Douglas the Cable Guy:

I learned the facts of life - from watching "The Facts of Life."

Lt. Mitch Kellaway:	Freeze! (the mask literally freezes) Put your hands up.
Lt. Mitch Kellaway:	Put your hands up.
The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss:	(without moving his mouth) But you told me to freeze.
The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss:	But you told me to freeze.

Fletcher Reede:	You brought your kids to your divorce?
Samantha Cole:	Sympathy.
Fletcher Reede:	Well, it's working. I feel sorry for them already.

Steve Gray:

I forgot my drill.

Steve Gray:

Your skin makes me cry.

Truman Burbank:	Who are you?
Christof:	I am the Creator - of a television show that gives hope and joy and inspiration to millions.
Truman Burbank:	Then who am I?
Christof:	You're the star.

Ace Ventura:	(Turned around moving his butt as he talks) Excuse me. I'd like to "ass" you a few questions.
Ace Ventura:	Excuse me. I'd like to ass you a few questions.

Bruce Nolan:

My blood type is IB positive. IB positive that they ain't touchin' me with no needle!

Melissa Robinson:	Ace get out of the tank
Melissa Robinson:	Ace get out of the tank.
Ace Ventura:	I just can't do it captain I DON'T HAVE THE POWERRR!!!
Ace Ventura:	I just can't do it captain, I DON'T HAVE THE POWERRR!

Adult Joe Wenteworth:

You're never prepared for the moments that change your life.

Adult Joe Wenteworth:

Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with. I responds like a snail to our impatience, Then it races like a gazelle when you can't catch your breath.

Uncle Monty:	Glad you made it so fast, too bad my other assistant gustas, can't
Uncle Monty:	Glad you made it so fast, too bad my other assistant gustas, can't.
Llamando Conde Olaf:	(desguised) he'll do anything to be here wait now (shows gustas tied on a train)
Llamando Conde Olaf:	[disguised] He'll do anything to be here wait now [shows gustas tied on a train]

Llamando Conde Olaf:	Must say your a glumly looking bunch, why so glum?
Klaus Baudelaire:	Our parents, just, died
Klaus Baudelaire:	Our parents, just, died.

Llamando Conde Olaf:	This is we're your sleep, time for bed
Llamando Conde Olaf:	This is we're your sleep, time for bed.
Violet Baudelaire:	But the suns still up!
Llamando Conde Olaf:	(mokingly) but the suns still up
Llamando Conde Olaf:	[mockingly] But the suns still up.

Llamando Conde Olaf:	The tower, witch you are never too enter.. No matter what happens ever.. (secretly giggles, about what he said)
Llamando Conde Olaf:	The tower, witch you are never too enter.. No matter what happens ever.. [secretly giggles, about what he said]

Bruce Nolan:

Smite me, O mighty smighter!

Lloyd Christmas:	His head fell off?
Harry Dunne:	Yeah he was pretty old
Harry Dunne:	Yeah he was pretty old.

State Trooper:	Yeah, well you aware it's against the law to have an open alcohol container here in the state of Pennsylvania? Come on give me them booze you little pumpkin pie hair cutted freak!
Harry Dunne:	No sir way, way, way, way way!
Lloyd Christmas:	No sir don't drink tha...
State Trooper:	You'd keep your mouth shut if you knew it was good for you buddy. (Takes sip. swallows)
State Trooper:	You'd keep your mouth shut if you knew it was good for you buddy. [takes sip. swallows]
Harry Dunne:	Tic-Tac Sir?
State Trooper:	Get the hell out of here
State Trooper:	Get the hell out of here.

Cindy Lou Who:	You're the-the-the-
The Grinch:	the-the-the- THE GRINCH!
The Grinch:	The-the-the- THE GRINCH!

Dick Harper:	[after being punched in the mouth, sound like he is trying to have in American accent] No, I swear, I am an American citizen. [...] No, call my wife... It's ringing.
Billy Harper:	[answers the phone] Hola?

Grace:	Hey, I just woke up this morning and I felt like my boobs were bigger. Do they look bigger to you?
Bruce Nolan:	No. Bigger? Um....
Grace:	Oh come one! [jiggles boobs] Look at them! They are definitely bigger! They feel so huge to me.
Bruce Nolan:	Listen I have to go but this has been the breast break, I mean the breast break, thank you.
Grace:	Where are you going?
Bruce Nolan:	To get my job back!

Carl Allen:

Look at my necklace! It glows in the dark. You can't see it right now. Unless you do this. [covers his face with his hands]

Truman Burbank:

You're going to the top of the mountain, broken legs and all.

The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss:	Did you miss me? (He drinks and goes through is holes.) I guess not!
The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss:	Did you miss me? [he drinks and goes through is holes] I guess not!

The Grinch:

We're gonna die! We're gonna die! I'm gonna throw up and then we're gonna die!

The Grinch:

[looks at the camera] Kids these days, so desensitized by movies and television.

Carl Allen:	"Do i want to increase the size of my Penis"? pfft~! Like i needed that! clicked YES
Carl Allen:	[pop-up add reads] Do I want to increase the size of my Penis? Like I needed that! [clicks yes]

Clementine Kruczynski:	This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon.
Joel Barish:	I know.
Clementine Kruczynski:	What do we do?
Joel Barish:	Enjoy it.

The Grinch:	(While looking in mirror at his clothes)Ooooo.... ahhhh....ohhh. that's it I'm not going.
The Grinch:	[while looking in mirror at his clothes] Ooooo.... ahhhh....ohhh. That's it I'm not going.

Truman Burbank:	"In case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight"
Truman Burbank:	In case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight.

Grace:	You know, I have a very rare blood type. AB Positive.
Bruce Nolan:	Sounds delicious... (bares teeth).
Bruce Nolan:	Sounds delicious... [bares teeth]

Bruce Nolan:

Woah. A woman does pray a lot.

Bruce Nolan:

You might want to stop touching me...

Bruce Nolan:	I'm dead?!?
God:	Nah, I'm just messin' with ya.
Bruce Nolan:	You think that's funny?!?
Bruce Nolan:	You think that's funny?

Bruce Nolan:	I am a sane, reasonable human being (gets out a gun).
Bruce Nolan:	I am a sane, reasonable human being. [gets out a gun]

Hood:	I'll apologise when a monkey comes out of my butt!
Bruce Nolan:	Well, what a coincidence, 'cause that's today!

The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss:	(after smashing a cartoonish alarm clock with a giant mallet) SNOOZE!
The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss:	[after smashing a cartoonish alarm clock with a giant mallet] SNOOZE!