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Bordello of Blood is not as scary or funny as it thinks it is (or should've been), and all of Dennis Miller's lines sound like castoffs from his stand-up material. Read critic reviews

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Tales From the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood Photos

Movie Info

After her troublemaking brother, Caleb (Corey Feldman), goes missing, Katherine Verdoux (Erika Eleniak) seeks the services of sarcastic private investigator Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) to track the errant youth down. Rafe eventually determines that Caleb is in the thrall of Lilith (Angie Everhart), a powerful vampire who operates a seedy brothel. When Rafe and Katherine set out to rescue Caleb, they must contend with the lethal Lilith and her evil minions.

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Critic Reviews for Tales From the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood

All Critics (34) | Top Critics (8) | Fresh (5) | Rotten (29)

Audience Reviews for Tales From the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood

  • Oct 25, 2015
    Fletch in From Dusk Til Dawn, the deadpan comedian Dennis Miller mugs and chuckles his way through Bordello of Blood, the second theatrical feature from the Tales from the Crypt namesake. To be fair, it's sadistically funny, liberally heart-soaked and unapologetically fun. After a mock-epic Raiders of the Lost Ark cliffhanger opening, the pun-filled Cryptkeeper introduces us to tonight's "tawdry tale". Miller might not be a convincing Sam Spade detective but the Weekend Update anchor is self-aware of the dregs he is in and openly lampoons it from within with his ad-libs ("You're looking pretty cool, man. You must know Mickey Rourke."). My favorite interaction is when Rafe (Miller) is interrogating some barflies about a missing person and he is criticizing their billiards skills. Even funnier is William Sadler's pre-credits cameo as a mummified British director who is pitching the film to the disingenuous Cryptkeeper. The wraparound segment is Sadler's Russian Roulette of body appendages with him. Surprisingly, Angie Everhart is lusciously unbridled as Lillith, the matriarch of the vampires. In gowns and flawless makeup, she is a bombshell with fangs. From bloodsucker flicks of yore, Corey Feldman and Chris Sarandon align themselves inside this decadent treat. More naked flesh than a Russ Meyers film, the brothel is a recreation hall of carnal visions. The prosthetic work is also cutting-edge with Gene Simmons tongues, blood-bladder explosions and feral transformations. It's a shame that the Tales from the Crypt brand deteriorated shortly after this release because their alchemy of horror, religious parody (Sarandon's teleprompter-assisted evangelist) and yuk-yuks was choice. In the age of 90's nostalgia, maybe it will be revitalized as well.
    Cory T Super Reviewer
  • Oct 23, 2012
    Tales From the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood is a fun and entertaining horror-comedy. The story follows a private investigator that runs across a secret bordello of vampires led by the original vampire, Lilith. The cast, which includes Dennis Miller, Erika Eleniak, Chris Sarandon, and Corey Feldman, works well together and have a good feel for the material. The script is also fairly solid, and is able to provide a mixture of horror and comedy that fits the tone of the film. However, there are times that the camp goes too far and becomes overly bizarre and ridiculous. Still, Tales From the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood has a lot of laughs and some frights.
    Dann M Super Reviewer
  • Dec 26, 2011
    Boring cable favourite, recycled material that could be done better, but short on budget apparently, it's neither funny or scary, just grotesque looking vempire hos with gratuitous nudity
    Sylvester K Super Reviewer
  • Oct 02, 2011
    A mediocre horror comedy with bad acting, Bordello of Blood is a lacking vampire yarn that has a good idea ruined with a terrible cast. This is a pointless attempt at a horror comedy, and the result is a mediocre film that is not memorable whatsoever. The film has really no meaning, and as a vampire film it fails. This film proves yet again that Dennis Miller plainly sucks. The film tries to be something entertaining, and sometimes it does work, but we see that the cast and filmmakers are trying to make something that really doesn't work well. The film is a poor attempt at a vampire tale, and it's quite forgettable. I really didn't enjoy this film, and I can name many other vampire films that are better than this one. Bordello of Blood is a forgettable horror comedy that is poorly crafted with minimal to no scares, and relies more on the gore factor to create horror. As far as vampire films are concerned, Bordello of Blood belongs in the same category as Twilight and all, the other failed vampire films. I lost interest in this film, and I thought it was a pretty lame film with no redeeming factors. Dennis Miller is terrible, and I don't even know why they asked him to be in this, I guess it was to make it entertaining. Well, this film is quite frankly a missed opportunity at being an entertaining vampire film. Boring, uninspired and bad, Bordello of Blood won't appeal to die hard vampire film fans. I was very disappointed with this one. Considering the casting of Chris Sarandon from Fright Night, I was expecting something great, instead it was a boring film.
    Alex r Super Reviewer

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