Ted - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Ted Reviews

July 31, 2012
Sure, MacFarlane, you can make us laugh, but it's time to grow up. Seriously.
Full Review | Original Score: 3/5
June 30, 2012
Everything goes on too long -- Ted's carousing, Lori's watchful waiting, John's wistful indecision.
June 29, 2012
It's a goofy premise pursued with crass -- as well as sentimental -- relish.
Full Review | Original Score: 3/4
June 29, 2012
You'll feel the warmth and camaraderie of a Bostonian and his little sentient bear.
Full Review | Original Score: A-
Top Critic
June 29, 2012
I tried to resist but couldn't.
June 29, 2012
The idea of a toy that comes to life - and then won't go away - isn't a bad one. Too bad that "Ted" manages to overstay its welcome without ever really coming to life itself.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
Top Critic
June 29, 2012
As unabashedly idiotic movie comedies go, Ted goes fairly well.
Full Review | Original Score: 2.5/4
June 29, 2012
"Ted" is so lazy you want to kick the stuffing out of it.
Full Review | Original Score: D
June 29, 2012
Underneath the matted fur of the movie's foul-mouthed bear beats a very real heart.
Full Review | Original Score: 2.5/4
June 29, 2012
The plot is simply a shaky frame on which to hang drug and sex jokes and numerous pop-culture references.
Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4
June 29, 2012
I expected "Ted" to be a one-joke movie, but it's got ideas spilling out of its seams.
Full Review | Original Score: 3.5/4
June 29, 2012
What began as a promising, if unhinged, experiment in suspending disbelief starts to feel like "You, Me and Dupree" for plushies.
Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4
June 28, 2012
In a universe of Hollywood comedies that seem determined to insult the audience and pander to the basest form of post-adolescent fantasy, "Ted" feels almost sophisticated.
June 28, 2012
The natural interactions between Ted and his beloved man-child owner, John, terrifically played as an adult by Mark Wahlberg, are more often than not ridiculously funny.
Full Review | Original Score: 2.5/4
June 28, 2012
Ted's real trick is turning a one-joke premise into a reasonable facsimile of a movie, and one that isn't entirely bent on grossing us out.
Read More | Original Score: 2.5/4
June 28, 2012
It is funny to watch a teddy bear wail on Mark Wahlberg. But afterward, I mostly felt beat up.
June 28, 2012
For all of its transgressive plush-toy sex and screw-'em humor, the plot is pretty standard stuff.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
June 28, 2012
To fully appreciate "Ted," it's best to simply forgive its bad behavior upfront and save any apologies for liking it until later. Sorry.
Full Review | Original Score: 3.5/5
June 28, 2012
I'm betting on Mark Wahlberg for best actor when the Oscars swing around next year.
Full Review | Original Score: 3.5/4
June 28, 2012
Welcome to the funniest comedy of 2012.
Full Review | Original Score: 3.5/4
June 28, 2012
Not every joke scores, of course. But the hits are worth the misses, and anyway, the movie's true genius is in the way its outlandish scenario is played so perfectly straight.
Full Review | Original Score: 3/5
June 28, 2012
You can overlook an awful lot in a comedy when it makes you laugh.
Full Review | Original Score: B
June 28, 2012
Like "Family Guy," "Ted" is only about its own hyperlinked pop culture references.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
June 28, 2012
MacFarlane has definitely made the best leap from animated television to movies since 1999′s South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut.
June 28, 2012
Ted is essentially a one-joke movie. Okay, it's a very funny joke, but it's still only one joke.
Full Review | Original Score: 3/4
June 28, 2012
Seth MacFarlane's debut as a feature director hits all the sweet spots that irritate prudes. Ted is hysterically, gut-bustingly funny.
Full Review | Original Score: 3/4
June 28, 2012
This is exactly the same plot as The Muppets, in which Jason Segel was forced to choose between Amy Adams and Kermit the Frog.
Read More | Original Score: 2/4
June 28, 2012
The sin of "Ted" is not that it is offensive but that it is boring, lazy and wildly unoriginal. If Triumph the Insult Comic Dog ever got a hold of Ted, there would be nothing left but a pile of fluff and a few scraps of fur.
Read More | Original Score: 2/5
June 28, 2012
Some of this is undeniably funny, but the humor is very hit-or-miss.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
June 28, 2012
A crass, foul-mouthed, mostly hilarious, surprisingly sentimental bromance about a grown boy named John and his teddy bear.
Full Review | Original Score: 3/4
June 28, 2012
An incongruously cute interspecies buddy comedy that's powered alternately by the pixie dust of boyhood imagination and the ruder, cruder urges of adolescence.
Full Review | Original Score: B
June 28, 2012
The plot of "Ted" is fairly standard but greatly embellished by MacFarlane's ability to establish comic situations and keep them building.
Full Review | Original Score: 3.5/4
June 27, 2012
The stuff that sticks to the wall is so outrageously hilarious that it's ultimately worth enduring the film's lackadaisical pacing and lazy misogyny.
June 27, 2012
Even though a lot of the movie is grating dumb-assery, it's something to behold. Stuffed with crap, but something.
Full Review | Original Score: C+
June 27, 2012
The one-note joke plays out longer and better than you might expect, at least for a while. But not forever.
Full Review | Original Score: 2.5/5
June 27, 2012
Will it make you wince with embarrassment? That's a promise. Will you also laugh? In double-time, like a Rockette.
Full Review | Original Score: 3/4
June 26, 2012
Ted ends up undermining both halves of its whole, as well as its creator's clear intent to add something a little deeper to his crassness.
Full Review | Original Score: 3/5
June 26, 2012
Anyone over 15 ... might sit in the theater in stony silence.
June 26, 2012
...it does serve up a pretty jaw-dropping array of remarkably crude, nasty, and at times pretty gut-busting jokes.
Full Review | Original Score: 3.5/5
June 25, 2012
Much of the material works because the bear has someone to bounce off of; Wahlberg does his best work in situations like this, where he's playing it totally straight in a setting that's totally silly.
Read More | Original Score: 3/4
June 25, 2012
The movie's stuffing of creative smarts is still inert.
June 22, 2012
[A] predictably irreverent satire that's sweeter and, sadly, less funny than you might expect.
June 22, 2012
Not too many films serve up laughs that just keep on rolling with regularity from beginning to end, but Seth MacFarlane's directorial debut does so and without any feeling of strain.