Vampires Suck Reviews

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June 3, 2013
It's almost as cynical as the actual Twilight, and not nearly as funny.
June 3, 2013
All but the most die-hard fans can agree that the Twilight movies are spoof-worthy. So it's too bad they don't get a worthy spoof.
October 14, 2010
The last time I heard a film audience in such a state of silence was during Ingmar Bergman's Winter Light.
October 13, 2010
A few broader references might have made this punishing one-note trawl through the eminently spoofable tween-vamp saga slightly more watchable.
August 26, 2010
Given the coy handling of sex and violence that was portrayed in the original Twilight movies, it's a mild thrill to see their titillating subtext so brutally spelt out.
August 26, 2010
This movie sucks more.
August 25, 2010
If I ever feel the unlikely urge to see Friedberg and Seltzer's work again, I'll be going back to YouTube. As this latest effort confirms, their small bites are definitely the best.
August 23, 2010
Below bottom-of-the-barrel.
August 19, 2010
Plenty of gags fall flat, but writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer... have tapped the vein more effectively than their norm, with enjoyable details and on-the-mark senseless brutality.
August 19, 2010
If you've ever read a single book -- we'll include Stephenie Meyer -- you're probably better than this.
August 19, 2010
With Vampires Suck, the film is just as guilty as the vampires.
August 19, 2010
The Twilight Saga, with its operatic gloom and straight-faced fantasy, is undoubtedly ripe for a smart, good-natured ribbing. This isn't it.
August 18, 2010
Perhaps the filmmakers deserve credit for their one show of restraint: No jokes in this movie have been made at the expense of Justin Bieber.
August 18, 2010
Parodies can be hilarious. This one sucks.
August 18, 2010
Aside from the difficulty of spoofing a saga that has always been winkingly aware of its own angsty excesses, there is the inadvisability of angering a tweeniverse whose emotional investment in the originals borders on pathological.
August 18, 2010
There's a joke or broad sight gag every 15 seconds or so, but the ratio of hits to misses is nearly nonexistent.
August 18, 2010
Vampires Suck finds Friedberg-Seltzer evolving ever so slightly, but adequacy remains out of their grasp, and mediocrity might just be an impossible goal.
August 18, 2010
The running time is a merciful 80 minutes. That's the one reliably great thing about reviewing bad movies: Almost all of the biggest losers are less than an hour and a half long.
August 18, 2010
Two very important things to note about Vampires Suck: The film is a spoof of the Twilight movies, and the title is a good indication of where the level of wit lies.
August 18, 2010
It's the sort of movie where "finger food" is offered at a party. And it's fingers. Haw.
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