Danny DeVito

Danny DeVito

Highest Rated: 99% L.A. Confidential (1997)

Lowest Rated: 0% Look Who's Talking Now (1993)

Birthday: Nov 17, 1944

Birthplace: Asbury Park, New Jersey, USA

A raucous presence on television and feature films for decades, Danny DeVito transitioned from Emmy-winning comic actor on "Taxi" (ABC/NBC, 1978-1983) to bona fide movie star with "Ruthless People" (1987) and assured feature director ("Throw Momma from the Train," 1987) and producer of such hits as "Pulp Fiction" (1994) and "Man on the Moon" (1999). Born Daniel Michael DeVito, Jr., in an Italian household in Neptune Township, New Jersey on November 17, 1944, he gave his first performances as a student at Oratory Prep High School in Summit, New Jersey. Short of build - he stood 4'10" as a result of the genetic disorder known as Fairbank's disease - and a moderate student, he initially pursued a career as a hairdresser at his sister's salon, which led to studying cosmetics at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York City. Applicants were required to perform a monologue in order to enter the school's various programs, and the response he received for his audition convinced him that acting might be his career of choice. After completing his studies at the American Academy, DeVito made the rounds with East Coast theater companies, including the Eugene O'Neill Theater Center in Connecticut, where he befriended fellow aspiring actor Michael Douglas, and the Westbeth Playwrights Feminist Collective, where he met his future wife, actress Rhea Perlman. After a short stint in Los Angeles, DeVito returned to New York and made his screen acting debut in the independent film "Dreams of Glass" (1970). More minor roles in obscure films followed before Douglas cast him as a mental hospital patient in Milos Forman's adaptation of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" (1975). The popularity of the film led to character turns on television and in features, but his true breakout role came in 1978 when he was cast as Louie DePalma, the short-fused dispatcher for a New York taxi company on "Taxi." DeVito reaped numerous award nominations, including Emmy and Golden Globe wins in 1980 and 1981, and parlayed his popularity on the show into steady work as a character actor in features. He was a natural for abrasive, manipulative figures like the scheming con man on Douglas's train in "Romancing the Stone" (1984), but also showed a more kindly side in "Terms of Endearment" (1983) and Brian DePalma's "Wise Guys" (1986). During this period, DeVito also began making inroads to a directorial career: he helmed and starred in segments of a Cinemax anthology series called "Likely Stories" (1983), and made his feature-length debut in "The Ratings Game" (Showtime, 1984), a satire of the television business co-starring Pearlman. After starring in the big-screen comedies "Ruthless People" and "Tin Men" (1987), DeVito made his own feature debut as director with "Throw Momma from the Train," a skewed take on Alfred Hitchcock's "Strangers on a Train" (1954) with DeVito roping Billy Crystal into a plan to murder his domineering mother. A surprise hit, it spurred DeVito to launch his own production company, Jersey Films, with Michael Shamberg and Stacey Sher, which oversaw a remarkable array of popular films in the 1990s, including "Reality Bites" (1991), "Pulp Fiction," "Out of Sight" (1998) and "Man on the Moon," which featured DeVito playing himself opposite Jim Carrey as his "Taxi" co-star, Andy Kaufman. During this period, DeVito continued to not only act in features, including two inspired turns opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger in "Twins" (1988) and "Junior" (1994), as well as Norman Jewison's "Other People's Money" (1991) and a show-stopping performance as the disfigured Penguin in Tim Burton's "Batman Returns" (1992). DeVito also maintained his directorial career, turning the bitter comedy "The War of the Roses" (1989), which reunited him with his "Romancing" co-stars Douglas and Kathleen Turner, as well as an impressive crime epic in "Hoffa" (1992), with Jack Nicholson as the labor chief, and "Matilda" (1996), a spry and charming adaptation of the Roald Dahl novel. DeVito continued on this exceptionally busy path into the new millennium, and if some of his efforts as director, producer and actor were only middling - "Drowning Mona" (2000) and "Death to Smoochy" (2002) were just two of the many that failed to find an audience - the projects that did score as hits, like "Erin Brockovich" (2000), "Garden State" (2004) and "Reno 911!" (Comedy Central, 2003-09), which he produced, or "LA Confidential" (1997), the Disney animated feature "Hercules" (1997) and David Mamet's "Heist" (2002), all of which featured in character roles, were memorable. In 2006, he returned to network television as Glenn Howerton and Kaitlin Olson's perversely odd father on the cult comedy "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" (FX, 2005- ). But he remained doggedly active in all other areas of his career, logging voice-acting roles in "The Lorax" (2012) and producing numerous shorts and television episodes, while choosing to appear in an array of diverse live-action projects, including Todd Solondz's "Wiener-Dog" (2017), Burton's "Dumbo" (2019) and "Jumanji: The Next Level" (2019), as well as several episodes of Douglas's Netflix series, "The Kominsky Method" (2018- ). He also returned to feature directing after a 16-year absensce with the post-apocalypse drama "St. Sebastian."

Photos

Highest Rated Movies

Filmography

Movies

Credit
70% 69% The One and Only Ivan Bob (Voice) - 2020
72% 87% Jumanji: The Next Level Eddie (Character) $316.8M 2019
46% 48% Dumbo Max Medici (Character) $114.8M 2019
75% 62% Smallfoot Dorgle (Voice) $83.2M 2018
94% 87% Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond - Featuring a Very Special, Contractually Obligated Mention of Tony Clifton Unknown (Character) - 2017
64% 80% Animal Crackers Chesterfield (Voice) - 2017
74% 41% Wiener-Dog Dave Schmerz (Character) $445.4K 2016
No Score Yet No Score Yet Curmudgeons Unknown (Character),
Director,
Producer
- 2016
24% 28% The Comedian Jimmy Berkowitz (Character) $1.7M 2016
97% 88% Harold and Lillian: A Hollywood Love Story Himself (Character) - 2015
68% 53% A Walk Among the Tombstones Producer $26M 2014
60% 42% All the Wilderness Dr. Pembry (Character) - 2014
13% 28% Hotel Noir Unknown (Character) - 2012
54% 63% Dr. Seuss' the Lorax The Lorax (Voice) $213.9M 2012
No Score Yet 58% Girl Walks Into a Bar Aldo (Character) - 2011
17% 41% When in Rome Al (Character) $32.7M 2010
No Score Yet 44% Housebroken Cathkart (Character) - 2009
79% 50% Solitary Man Jimmy (Character) $4.4M 2009
No Score Yet 29% Just Add Water Merl (Character) - 2008
31% 33% The Good Night Mel (Character) $22.2K 2007
25% 44% Nobel Son Gastner (Character) $333.9K 2007
70% 87% Freedom Writers Producer $36.6M 2007
34% 51% RENO 911!: Miami District Attorney (Character),
Producer,
Executive Producer
$20.3M 2007
63% 65% 10 Items or Less Big D (Character) $81.4K 2006
No Score Yet 31% Relative Strangers Frank Menure (Character),
Producer
- 2006
6% 30% Deck the Halls Buddy Hall (Character) $35.1M 2006
23% 35% The Oh in Ohio Wayne the Pool Guy (Character) - 2006
24% 29% Even Money Walter (Character) - 2006
22% 61% Marilyn Hotchkiss' Ballroom Dancing and Charm School Booth (Character) $247.1K 2005
30% 42% Be Cool Martin Weir (Character),
Producer
$55.8M 2005
No Score Yet 14% Christmas in Love Brad (Character) - 2004
86% 88% Garden State Executive Producer $26.8M 2004
27% 47% Along Came Polly Producer $87.9M 2004
40% 44% Anything Else Harvey (Character) $3.2M 2003
75% 89% Big Fish Amos Calloway (Character) $66.3M 2003
64% 68% Camp Producer $1.6M 2003
35% 40% Duplex Director $9.7M 2003
No Score Yet No Score Yet Our House Director - 2003
42% 66% Death to Smoochy Burke (Character),
Director
$8.4M 2002
50% 35% Simone Executive Producer $9.7M 2002
66% 60% Heist Bergman (Character) $23.5M 2001
45% 52% The Caveman's Valentine Producer $687.1K 2001
10% 35% What's the Worst That Could Happen? Max Fairbanks (Character) $32.3M 2001
26% 79% How High Producer $31.2M 2001
29% 46% Drowning Mona Chief Wyatt Rash (Character),
Executive Producer
$15.4M 2000
13% 48% Screwed Grover Cleaver (Character) $7M 2000
84% 81% Erin Brockovich Producer $125.5M 2000
63% 79% Man on the Moon George Shapiro (Character),
Producer
$34.6M 1999
73% 71% The Big Kahuna Phil Cooper (Character) $3.2M 1999
77% 81% The Virgin Suicides Dr. Horniker (Character) $4.9M 1999
No Score Yet 86% The Pentagon Wars Executive Producer - 1998
59% 63% Living Out Loud Pat Francato (Character),
Producer
$12.9M 1998
93% 74% Out of Sight Producer $37.5M 1998
82% 77% John Grisham's The Rainmaker Deck Shifflet (Character) $45.9M 1997
99% 94% L.A. Confidential Sid Hudgens (Character) $64.6M 1997
82% 87% Gattaca Producer $12.3M 1997
84% 76% Hercules Philoctetes (Voice) $99.1M 1997
43% 63% Space Jam Mr. Swackhammer (Voice) $90.4M 1996
14% 27% Feeling Minnesota Producer $3.1M 1996
90% 73% Matilda Harry Wormwood/Narrator (Character),
Director
$33.1M 1996
54% 53% Mars Attacks! Rude Gambler (Character) $37.8M 1996
13% 83% Sunset Park Producer $9M 1996
88% 70% Get Shorty Martin Weir (Character),
Producer
$68.8M 1995
36% 22% Junior Dr. Larry Arbogast (Character) $36.7M 1994
66% 74% Reality Bites Producer $20M 1994
12% 53% Renaissance Man Bill Rago (Character) $24.2M 1994
92% 96% Pulp Fiction Executive Producer - 1994
0% 29% Look Who's Talking Now Rocks (Character) $9.4M 1993
52% 59% Hoffa Bobby Ciaro (Character),
Director,
Producer
$23.3M 1992
80% 73% Batman Returns Oswald Cobblepot/The Penguin (Character) $160.3M 1992
31% 46% Other People's Money Lawrence Garfield (Character) $24.2M 1991
29% 59% Jack the Bear John Leary (Character) $4.7M 1991
No Score Yet No Score Yet Amazing Stories: The Movie Director - 1989
85% 71% The War of the Roses Gavin D'Amato (Character),
Director
$84.1M 1989
43% 39% Twins Vincent Benedict (Character) $107.4M 1988
63% 54% Throw Momma From the Train Owen/Ned 'Little Ned' Lift/Cousin Paddy (Character),
Director
$54.4M 1987
77% 63% Tin Men Ernest Tilley (Character) $25.3M 1987
94% 72% Ruthless People Sam Stone (Character) $70.9M 1986
No Score Yet 73% My Little Pony Grundle King (Voice) $4.4M 1986
0% 28% Head Office Frank Stedman (Character) $3.4M 1986
31% 41% Wise Guys Harry Valentini (Character) $7M 1986
48% 37% The Jewel of the Nile Ralph (Character) $65.5M 1985
No Score Yet No Score Yet Amazing Stories: The Movie II Herbert (Character) - 1985
44% 63% Johnny Dangerously Burr (Character) - 1984
85% 69% Romancing the Stone Ralph (Character) - 1984
No Score Yet 33% The Ratings Game Vic De Salvo (Character),
Director
- 1984
78% 83% Terms of Endearment Vernon Dahlart (Character) - 1983
No Score Yet 23% Going Ape! Lazlo (Character) - 1981
71% 50% Goin' South Hog (Character) - 1978
15% 54% The World's Greatest Lover Assistant Director (Character) - 1977
No Score Yet 29% The Van Andy (Character) - 1977
93% 96% One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest Martini (Character) - 1975
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Money Bartender (Character) - 1975
No Score Yet No Score Yet Hurry Up, or I'll Be 30 Petey (Character) - 1973
No Score Yet No Score Yet Lady Liberty Fred Mancuso (Character) - 1972

TV

Credit
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Late Late Show With James Corden Guest 2020
No Score Yet 50% The Kelly Clarkson Show Guest 2020
No Score Yet No Score Yet Good Morning America Guest 2020
No Score Yet No Score Yet Jimmy Kimmel Live! Guest 2019-2020 2015 2013 2009 2007
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Talk Guest 2018-2019 2015 2013
No Score Yet No Score Yet Entertainment Tonight Canada Guest 2019
96% 93% It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Frank Reynolds (Character) 2015-2019 2006-2013
No Score Yet No Score Yet Couch Surfing Guest 2019
No Score Yet No Score Yet Pop Life Guest 2019
No Score Yet No Score Yet Dish Nation Guest 2019
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Jonathan Ross Show Guest 2019
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Social Guest 2019
No Score Yet No Score Yet Jamie & Jimmy's Food Fight Club Guest 2018
90% 93% The Kominsky Method Dr. Wexler (Guest Star) 2018
No Score Yet 26% Late Night With Seth Meyers Guest 2016-2017
No Score Yet No Score Yet Access Hollywood Live Guest 2016-2017
No Score Yet 58% The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Guest 2015-2017
No Score Yet 38% The Late Show With Stephen Colbert Guest 2016
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Graham Norton Show Guest 2016 2012
No Score Yet No Score Yet Access Hollywood Guest 2016
85% 77% The Simpsons Herb Powell (Guest Voice) 2013 1991-1992
No Score Yet No Score Yet Made in Hollywood Guest 2012
No Score Yet No Score Yet Anderson Guest 2012
No Score Yet No Score Yet Saturday Night Live Unknown (Guest Star),
Host
2011 1999 1993 1987-1988 1982-1983
No Score Yet No Score Yet Lopez Tonight Guest 2010
86% 78% RENO 911! Unknown (Guest Star),
Executive Producer
2009 2004
No Score Yet No Score Yet Inside the Actors Studio Guest 2009
No Score Yet No Score Yet Rachael Ray Guest 2007
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Guest 2006
30% No Score Yet Father of the Pride Unknown (Guest Voice) 2004
95% No Score Yet Karen Sisco Unknown (Guest Star),
Executive Producer
2003-2004
No Score Yet 94% Friends Roy, the Stripper (Guest Star) 2004
No Score Yet No Score Yet Ed Unknown (Guest Star) 2002
20% No Score Yet UC: Undercover Executive Producer 2001-2002
23% No Score Yet Kate Brasher Executive Producer 2001
62% No Score Yet Bette Unknown (Guest Star) 2000
No Score Yet No Score Yet Pearl Unknown (Guest Star) 1997
No Score Yet No Score Yet Sesame Street Guest 1994
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Tonight Show Guest 1986-1988
No Score Yet No Score Yet Amazing Stories Unknown (Character),
Director
1986
No Score Yet No Score Yet Mary Director,
Writer
1985
No Score Yet No Score Yet Taxi Louie De Palma (Character) 1978-1983
No Score Yet No Score Yet Police Woman Napoleon (Guest Star) 1977
No Score Yet No Score Yet Starsky and Hutch Unknown (Guest Star) 1977
No Score Yet No Score Yet The Associates Unknown (Guest Star)

QUOTES FROM Danny DeVito CHARACTERS

Volunteer Bimbo says: You are the coolest role model a young person could have!

The Penguin says: And you're the hottest young person a role model could have.

Sid Hudgeons says: It's off the record, on the QT, and very hush-hush

Sid Hudgeons says: It's off the record, on the QT, and very hush-hush.

Phil says: Yeah, I had a dream. I dreamed I would train the greatest hero there ever was. So great the gods would hang a picture of him in the stars for everyone to see. And everyone would say, "That's Phil's boy." That's right. Ah, but dreams are for rookies, kid. A guy can only take so much disappointment.

Gavin D'Amato says: My father used to say a man can never outdo a woman when it comes to love or revenge.

Amos Calloway says: Sure I do! You were hot shit in Hickville, but here in the real world, you got squat! You don't have a plan, you don't have a job, you don't have anything except the clothes on your back.

Ed Bloom (Young) says: I just saw the woman I'm gonna marry. I know it. But I lost her.

Amos Calloway says: Oh, tough break. Well, most men have to get married *before* they lose their wives.

Ed Bloom (Young) says: I'm gonna spend every day for the rest of my life lookin' for her. That, or die alone!

Amos Calloway says: Damn, kid. Lemme guess. Real pretty? Reddish-blondish hair? Blue dress?

Ed Bloom (Young) says: Yeah!

Amos Calloway says: I know her uncle. Friends of the family.

Ed Bloom (Young) says: Who is she? Where does she live?

Amos Calloway says: Forget it, kid, don't waste your time. She's out of your league.

Ed Bloom (Young) says: What do you mean? You don't even know me.

Gavin D'Amato says: There are two dilemmas that rattle the human skull: How do you hold on to someone who won't stay? And how do you get rid of someone who won't stay?

Gavin D'Amato says: There are two dilemmas that rattle the human skull; How do you hold on to someone who won't stay? And how do you get rid of someone who won't stay?

Man in Chair says: Why would somebody sell a million-dollar house for $200,000?

Gavin D'Amato says: Who knows--divorce, loan sharks, drugs, sudden death--the point is, you get to capitalize on a fellow human being's misfortune. That's the basis of real estate.

Owen Lift says: Momma, your alive! [turns to cops] Old people.... you have to reassure them.

Owen Lift says: Momma, you're alive! Old people...you have to reassure them.

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: Why is there always someone who brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech?

Owen Lift says: This is great! It's like the Flintstones car wash!

Amos Calloway says: You were a big fish in a small pond, but this here is the ocean and you're drownin'. Take my advice, go back to Puddleville; you'll be happy there.

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: You've gotta admit, I've played this stinking city, like a harp from hell!

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: I saw her first, got to fly.

Gavin D'Amato says: No. No, Oliver - you don't even deal with her. You avoid her: women can be a lot meaner than we give them credit for. Never underestimate her as an adversary. Don't even talk to her.

Gavin D'Amato says: "What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? An excellent start." I used to resent jokes like that. Now I see them as simple truths.

Ralph says: I'm about to have a close encounter with a cattle prod.

The Lorax says: Which way does a tree fall?

The Once-ler says: Uh, down?

The Lorax says: A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful which way you lean.

Matilda Wormwood says: (after TV explodes) I didn't do it

Matilda Wormwood says: [after TV explodes] I didn't do it

Harry Wormwood says: Of course you didn't do it, you little twit!

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: It's time... These are the names of the first born sons of Gotham City, just like I was. And just like me, a terrible fate awaits them. Tonight, while their parents party, they'll be sleeping in their safe cribs, their soft beds. And we will catch them, carry them into the sewer and toss them into a deep, dark watery grave!

Fat Clown says: Um, Penguin? I mean, killing sleeping babies... isn't that a little...

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: [shoots Fat Clown] No, it's a LOT! [kicks him into water]

Volunteer Bimbo says: Oh, Mr. Cobblepot... You're the best role model a young person could have.

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: And you are the best young person a role model could have!

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: It's time... These are the names of the first born sons of Gotham City, just like I was. And just like me, a terrible fate awaits them. Tonight, while their parents party, they'll be sleeping in their safe cribs, their soft beds. And we will catch them, carry them into the sewer and toss them into a deep, dark watery grave!

Fat Clown says: Umm, Penguin? I mean... killing sleeping children. Isn't that a little...

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: (shoots Fat Clown and kicks him into the water)

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: [shoots Fat Clown and kicks him into the water]

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: I believe the word you're looking for is "AHHHHHHHhhhh...!!!" (echoes)

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: I believe the word you're looking for is, AHHHHHHHhhhh! [echoes]

The Lorax says: So did you sell it?

The Once-ler says: Yeah, oh, no. Turns out it's ahead of it's time.

The Lorax says: You did your best. Come here, I'll deal you in.

The Once-ler says: Oh, okay. What are we playing?

The Lorax says: I'm playing poker. He's playing Go Fish. And I think he's hungry.

The Lorax says: That's a woman?

Julius Benedict says: I was trying to distract him so you could escape.

Vincent Benedict says: I was already escaping! By the time you got here, I was already halfway to Brazil!

Vincent Benedict says: I was already escaping! By the time you got here, I was halfway to Brazil when I felt you.

Vincent Benedict says: Yeah, tell your brother, that if he messes with me, he messes with my whole family!

Julius Benedict says: We're non-identical.

Vincent Benedict says: Oh yeah, 'cos as soon as I walked into this room, I felt like I was looking into a mirror.

Vincent Benedict says: Holy smoly...now that's a guy with a LOT on his mind.

The Lorax says: A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful which way you lean.

Max Shreck says: (Looking at the umbrella)What's that for, to hypnotize me?

Max Shreck says: [looking at the umbrella] What's that for, to hypnotize me?

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: No, just to give you a splitting headache.

Vincent Benedict says: You gotta talk through the phone bozo!

Chief Wyatt Rash says: [talking to Mona] when life gives you potato's, make potato salad.

Chief Wyatt Rash says: [talking to Mona] When life gives you potato's, make potato salad.

Mona Dearly says: life gave me a handful of shit. what do I make with that Chief?

Mona Dearly says: Life gave me a handful of shit. what do I make with that Chief?

Phil Dearly says: shit salad?!

Phil Dearly says: Shit salad?

Max Shreck says: Imagine... A place for a new mayor in Gotham, and Oswald Cobblepot filling the void...

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: (looks at hot chick) I'd like to fill HER void!

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: [looks at hot chick] I'd like to fill HER void!

The Lorax says: i speak for the trees

The Lorax says: I speak for the trees.

The Lorax says: So you're telling me you didn't magically appear from the stump....with all the lightning and stuff

The Lorax says: So you're telling me you didn't magically appear from the stump... with all the lightning and stuff.

The Once-ler says: Exactly and sleeping is the body's way of telling other people to go away!

The Lorax says: I know but you looked so cosy!

The Lorax says: Nice mustache.

The Lorax says: I'm going to eat this but I am highly offended by it.

The Lorax says: I'm playing poker, he's playing gold fish, and I think he's hungry

The Lorax says: I'm playing poker, he's playing gold fish, and I think he's hungry.

The Lorax says: That's a woman?

The Lorax says: I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees!

The Lorax says: Yes, I am the Lorax who speaks for the trees, which you seem to be chopping as fast as you please.

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: Why is their always someone who brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech?

The Lorax says: Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.

The Lorax says: A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful which way you lean.

The Lorax says: I'll go strait up your nose!

Ted says: Wow wow you wouldn't hit a woman?

The Lorax says: That's a woman?

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: [while being bombarded by food] Why is their always someone who brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech?

The Lorax says: "You have been warned!"

The Lorax says: You have been warned!

Randle Patrick McMurphy says: You like to look at other people's cards, huh?

Martini says: Yes.

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: You're just jealous I'm a natural freak and you have to wear a mask

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: You're just jealous because I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask!

The Lorax says: Did you chop down this tree?

1st Terrifying Clown says: Hey penguin!

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: I am not penguin anymore, my name is Oswald Cobblepot.

1st Terrifying Clown says: Oswald, somebody came to see you.

Owen Lift says: I don't want them to take you away!

Momma says: Yes, you do!

Owen Lift says: Owen loves his momma!

Momma says: "Owen loves his momma!" [Sing-song] Owen loves his momma! Owen loves his momma! Owen loves his.....

Momma says: 'Owen loves his momma!' [sing-song] Owen loves his momma! Owen loves his momma! Owen loves his...

Momma says: You sit there typing all day like a fat little pigeon!

Owen Lift says: You won't ever hear it again, Momma. I promise.

Owen Lift says: Momma!

Momma says: OWEN! OWEN! OWEN! OWEN! OWEN!!

Owen Lift says: WHAT?

Momma says: Get me a soda with some ice in it! Owen, hurry up!

Owen Lift says: Momma...

Momma says: Chop-chop, Owen! Come on!

Owen Lift says: Alright!

Momma says: Your friend had an accident! He's dead! You go bowling and leave a corpse to take care of me!

Owen Lift says: He's dead?!

Momma says: See for yourself!

Owen Lift says: Larry! My friend! My friend, Larry!

Momma says: "My friend, my friend!" You little crybaby! Go bury him in the yard before he stinks up the place.

Momma says: 'My friend, my friend!' You little crybaby! Go bury him in the yard before he stinks up the place.

Momma says: Oh you saved me, Owen!

Larry Donner says: Mrs. Lift, are you okay?

Momma says: Beat it, chump! [She kicks him off the train]

Momma says: Beat it, chump! [she kicks him off the train]

Owen Lift says: Bye, Larry!

Owen Lift says: Larry! You're alive!

Larry Donner says: You killed her.

Momma says: HOLY SHIT! [Owen and Larry get startled] What a dream I was havin'! Louis Armstrong was tryin' to kill me!

Larry Donner says: Mrs. Lift?

Momma says: Get away from me, you horse's ass! [She hits him in the crotch with her cane; Larry groans and collapses]

Momma says: Get away from me, you horse's ass! [she hits him in the crotch with her cane; Larry groans and collapses]

Larry Donner says: [To Owen] She's not a woman... she's the Terminator.

Larry Donner says: [to Owen] She's not a woman... she's the Terminator.

Momma says: Hurry up with that soda!

Owen Lift says: Coming, Momma.

Momma says: "Coming, Momma!" I'm choking to death, you moron! You're too damn slow!

Momma says: 'Coming, Momma!' I'm choking to death, you moron! You're too damn slow!

Owen Lift says: I'm sorry, Momma.

Momma says: "I'm sorry, Momma!" Why didn't you get me the salted nuts?

Momma says: 'I'm sorry, Momma!' Why didn't you get me the salted nuts?

Owen Lift says: The salted ones are no good for ya.

Momma says: The unsalted ones make me choke!

Momma says: Who are ya talkin' to?! Who's in there with you?!

Momma says: Who are ya talkin' to?! Who's in there with you?

Owen Lift says: Nobody, Momma!

Momma says: [Sees Larry] Who's this?

Momma says: [sees Larry] Who's this?

Owen Lift says: This is Cousin Patty! He's gonna be stayin' with us for a while. Isn't that nice?

Momma says: You don't have a Cousin Patty!

Owen Lift says: You lied to me!

The Lorax says: That's a woman?

The Lorax says: You have been warned!

Rude Gambler says: You are Tom Jones!

The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot says: You didn't invite me, so I crashed!

Sid Hudgeons says: Off the record, on the Q.T. and very hush-hush.

Sid Hudgeons says: Off the record, on the QT, and very hush-hush.

Dr. Hornicker says: "What are you doing here honey? You're not even hold enough to know how bad life gets."

Dr. Hornicker says: What are you doing here honey? You're not even hold enough to know how bad life gets.

Cecilia says: "Obviously, Doctor, you've never been a 13-year-old girl."

Cecilia says: Obviously, Doctor, you've never been a 13-year-old girl.

Amos Calloway says: Tell me, Karl, have you ever heard the term "involuntary servitude"?

Al says: The whole point of love is to put someone else's needs above your own

Al says: The whole point of love is to put someone else's needs above your own.