Johnny Depp

Johnny Depp

Highest Rated: 100% Runnin' Down a Dream: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers (2008)

Lowest Rated: 0% London Fields (2018)

Birthday: Jun 9, 1963

Birthplace: Owensboro, Kentucky, USA

Initially known as a teen idol thanks to his role on 21 Jump Street and tortured pretty-boy looks, Johnny Depp survived the perils of adolescent heartthrob status to earn a reputation as a respected adult actor. His numerous collaborations with director Tim Burton, as well as solid performances in a number of critically acclaimed films, have allowed Depp to carve a niche for himself as a serious, if idiosyncratic performer, a real-life role that has continuously surprised critics intent on writing him off as just another photogenic Tiger Beat casualty. Born in Kentucky and raised in Florida, Depp had the kind of upbringing that would readily lend itself to his future portrayals of brooding lost boys. After his parents divorced when he was 16, he dropped out of school a year later in the hopes of making his way in the world as a musician. Depp fronted a series of garage bands; the most successful of these, the Kids, was once the opening act for Iggy Pop. During slack times in the music business, Depp sold pens by phone. He got introduced to acting after a visit to L.A. with his former wife, who introduced him to actor Nicolas Cage, who encouraged Depp to give it a try. The young actor made his film debut in 1984's A Nightmare on Elm Street (after attaining stardom, Depp sentimentally played a cameo in the "last" of the Elm Street series, 1991's Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare.) His climb to fame was accelerated in 1987, when he replaced Jeff Yagher in the role of Officer Tom Hanson, a cop assigned to do undercover duty by posing as a student in crime-ridden Los Angeles-area high schools, in the Canadian-filmed Fox TV series 21 Jump Street (1987-90). Biding his time in "teen heartthrob" roles, Depp was first given a chance to exhibit his exhausting versatility in the title role of Tim Burton's fantasy Edward Scissorhands (1990). Following the success of Edward Scissorhands, the actor made a conscious and successful effort never to repeat himself in his subsequent characterizations. He continued to gain critical acclaim and increasing popularity for his work, most notably in Benny & Joon (1993), in which he played a troubled young man who fancies himself the reincarnation of Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton, and What's Eating Gilbert Grape (1993), which cast him as its title character, a young man dissatisfied with the confines of his small-town life. Following Gilbert Grape, Depp outdid himself in Burton's Ed Wood (1994), with his outrageous but lovable portrayal of the angora-sweater-worshipping World's Worst Film Director. The same year, he further exercised his versatility playing a 19th-century accountant in Dead Man, Jim Jarmusch's otherworldly Western. With his excellent portrayal of the titular undercover FBI agent in Mike Newell's 1997 Donnie Brasco, Depp continued to ascend the Hollywood ranks. After a starring turn as Hunter S. Thompson's alter ego in Terry Gilliam's trippy adaptation of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998), Depp tried his hand at sci-fi horror with The Astronaut's Wife in 1999. That same year, he again collaborated with Burton on Sleepy Hollow, starring as a prim, driven Ichabod Crane in the remake of Washington Irving's classic tale of gothic terror. Appearing the following year in the small but popular romantic drama Chocolat, Depp jumped back into the big time with his role as real-life cocaine kingpin George Jung in Blow (2001) before gearing up for roles in the Jack the Ripper thriller From Hell (2001) and Robert Rodriguez's Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003). In what was perhaps his most surprising departure since Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Depp shed his oftentimes angst-ridden persona for a role as flamboyant pirate Jack Sparrow in 2003's Pirates of the Caribbean. Essaying the crusty role in the manner of a drunken, debauched rock star -- Depp publicly admitted Keith Richards was his inspiration -- the actor added a dose of off-kilter fun to an above-average summer thrill ride, and found himself with his biggest hit and first Oscar nomination ever. By this point in his wildly varied career, even Depp's most devoted fans would be hard pressed to speculate on the trajectory of his future, and the only certainty seemed to be that whatever role he accepted, it would be chosen on his own terms. Shortly after making his maiden voyage into the horrific world of Stephen King with an amusingly disheveled performance in Secret Window, Depp warmed to a wider audience with another Oscar-nominated performance, as author J.M. Barrie in the critically acclaimed Finding Neverland. A tale of wonder based on the friendship that inspired Barrie to pen the classic tale Peter Pan, Finding Neverland earned wide praise from audiences and critics alike. After once again re-teaming with director Burton for both a vocal performance in the animated feature The Corpse Bride and a role as mysterious candy magnate Willy Wonka in 2005, Depp reprised his popular role as Jack Sparrow in the first of the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, which shattered box-office records. He also made plans to again work with Tim Burton, this time on an adaptation of Sweeney Todd, which was released in 2007 -- a year that would also see the release of the third Pirates movie, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. The former earned him his second Academy Award nomination for Best Actor, and the latter maintained his status as a formidable box-office force. Following the death of Heath Ledger in 2008, Depp was one of three actors--along with Jude Law and Colin Farrell--that stepped in to play variations of Ledger's character, Troy, in Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus (2009), in order to finish the film. The actors donated their salaries from the fantasy film to Matilda, Ledger's daughter. That same year, Depp gained accolades for portraying Depression-era bank robber John Dillinger in Michael Mann's Public Enemies, a role which had him facing off against Christian Bale's FBI agent Melvin Purvis. The following year, Tim Burton cast Depp as a garishly creepy incarnation of the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland, resulting in a world-wide smash hit, earning over a billion dollars at the box office. Also in 2010, Depp found modest success opposite Angelina Jolie in The Tourist, a romantic thriller that did not thrill many critics. Although it had been earlier stated that Dead Man's Chest would be the final film in the Pirates series, the franchise's previous success made a sequel inevitable, and for his part Depp was paid $55 million to return for another lucrative installment, On Stranger Tides (2011). Although the first three film's director, Gore Verbinski, was not involved, Depp worked with him the same year, lending his voice to the titular chameleon in the 3D animated NickeIodeon film Rango. In addition to his acting, Depp has also gained a certain amount of fame for his romantic involvements with several starlets and celebrities, including Winona Ryder, Sherilyn Fenn, and Kate Moss. In 1999, he fathered a daughter with French singer/actress Vanessa Paradis, as well as a son in 2002. He was also the owner of the Viper Room, a popular L.A. nightspot which gained notoriety when actor River Phoenix died of a drug overdose on its doorstep in 1993. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

Photos

Highest Rated Movies

Filmography

Movies

Credit
33% Minamata Producer W. Eugene Smith 2020
10% The Professor Richard 2019
50% Waiting for the Barbarians Actor 2019
36% Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald Gellert Grindelwald 2018
No Score Yet London Fields, The Director's Cut Chick Purchase 2018
0% London Fields Chick Purchase 2018
27% Sherlock Gnomes Actor 2018
No Score Yet Nice Girls Don't Stay for Breakfast Actor 2018
No Score Yet Brothers in Arms Actor 2018
No Score Yet Brothers in Arms Actor 2018
No Score Yet City of Lies Actor 2018
61% Murder On The Orient Express Ratchett $101.6M 2017
30% Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales Capt. Jack Sparrow $172.6M 2017
23% Yoga Hosers Guy Lapointe 2016
29% Alice Through the Looking Glass Mad Hatter $77.1M 2016
No Score Yet Funny or Die Presents: Donald Trump's The Art of the Deal: The Movie Actor 2016
73% Black Mass Whitey Bulger $48.8M 2015
12% Mortdecai Charles Mortdecai Producer $6.9M 2015
72% Into the Woods The Wolf $89.8M 2014
45% Tusk Guy Lapointe 2014
20% Transcendence Dr. Will Caster $23.1M 2014
No Score Yet LaDonna Harris: Indian 101 Executive Producer 2014
31% The Lone Ranger Tonto Executive Producer $89.3M 2013
No Score Yet The Thin Man Actor 2013
36% Dark Shadows Producer Barnabas Collins $79.8M 2012
No Score Yet My Valentine Actor 2012
No Score Yet Sunset Strip Actor 2012
93% Hugo Producer $73.9M 2011
51% The Rum Diary Executive Producer Kemp Producer $13.1M 2011
33% Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Captain Jack Sparrow $241.1M 2011
88% Rango Rango/Lars $123.2M 2011
20% The Tourist Frank Tupelo $67.7M 2010
61% When You're Strange Narrator 2010
51% Alice in Wonderland The Mad Hatter $319.4M 2010
64% The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus Imaginarium Tony #1 $7.6M 2009
68% Public Enemies John Dillinger $97.1M 2009
100% Runnin' Down a Dream: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers Actor 2008
87% Gonzo: The Life and Work of Hunter S. Thompson Narrator $1.1M 2008
85% Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street Sweeney Todd $53M 2007
89% Joe Strummer: The Future Is Unwritten Actor $0.2M 2007
86% When the Road Bends: Tales of a Gypsy Caravan Actor $0.2M 2007
44% Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End Captain Jack Sparrow $309.5M 2007
No Score Yet Brando Actor 2007
53% Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest Jack Sparrow $423.1M 2006
33% The Libertine John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester $4.8M 2006
91% Deep Sea 3D Narrator $42.1M 2006
84% Tim Burton's Corpse Bride Victor Van Dort $53.4M 2005
83% Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Willy Wonka $206.2M 2005
57% Happily Ever After L'inconnu $0.2M 2005
83% Finding Neverland J.M. Barrie 2004
46% Secret Window Mort Rainey $47.8M 2004
95% Charlie: The Life and Art of Charles Chaplin Actor 2004
No Score Yet Buried Secret Of M. Night Shyamalan Actor 2004
67% Once upon a Time in Mexico Sands $56M 2003
79% Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl Jack Sparrow $305.4M 2003
94% Lost in La Mancha Actor 2003
63% Breakfast With Hunter Actor 2003
57% From Hell Insp. Frederick George `Fred' Abberline $30.7M 2001
55% Blow George Jung 2001
73% Before Night Falls Lt. Victor/Bon Bon $2.8M 2001
No Score Yet A Tour of the Inferno: Revisiting 'Platoon' Actor 2001
62% Chocolat Roux 2000
35% The Man Who Cried Cesar 2000
No Score Yet Portrait of Leonardo: The Kid Who Took Hollywood Actor 2000
43% The Ninth Gate Dean Corso 1999
68% Sleepy Hollow Ichabod Crane 1999
15% The Astronaut's Wife Spencer Armacost 1999
88% The Source: The Story of the Beats and the Beat Generation Jack Kerouac 1999
50% Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas Raoul Duke 1998
No Score Yet L.A. Without a Map Himself 1998
No Score Yet Top Secret: Scotland Yard Narrator 1998
88% Donnie Brasco Joe Pistone/Donnie Brasco 1997
33% The Brave Raphael Director 1997
32% Nick of Time Gene Watson 1995
50% Cannes Man Himself 1995
71% Dead Man William Blake 1995
92% Ed Wood Edward D. Wood Jr. 1994
69% Don Juan DeMarco Don Juan DeMarco 1994
90% What's Eating Gilbert Grape Gilbert Grape 1993
87% Arizona Dream Axel 1993
71% Benny & Joon Sam 1993
20% Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare News Announcer 1991
90% Edward Scissorhands Edward Scissorhands 1990
72% Cry-Baby Wade Walker 1990
No Score Yet 21 Jump Street Officer Tom Hanson 1987
88% Platoon Lerner 1986
No Score Yet Slow Burn Actor 1986
17% Private Resort Jack 1985
94% A Nightmare on Elm Street Glen 1984

TV

Credit
No Score Yet Jimmy Kimmel Live
2003
Guest 2017
2016
2015
2014
2013
2012
No Score Yet The Ellen DeGeneres Show
2003
Appearing Guest 2017
2015
2014
2012
No Score Yet 20/20
1978
Appearing 2016
2012
No Score Yet The Graham Norton Show
2007
Guest 2016
2011
No Score Yet Late Show With David Letterman
1993-2015
Guest 2013
No Score Yet CBS This Morning
2012
Guest 2013
2012
No Score Yet Sunday Morning
2011-2018
Guest 2013
2012
71% Family Guy
1999
Voice 2012
53% Life's Too Short
2011
Himself 2012
No Score Yet American Masters
2001
Narrator 2010
No Score Yet SpongeBob SquarePants
1999
Voice 2009
100% This American Life
2007-2008
Voice 2008
No Score Yet King of the Hill
1997-2010
Voice 2004
No Score Yet The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
1992-2014
Guest 2000
1995
No Score Yet 21 Jump Street
1987-1991
Off. Tom Hanson 1990
1989
1988
1987

QUOTES FROM Johnny Depp CHARACTERS

Mad Hatter says: I Love Him And Johnny,They're Amazing

Mad Hatter says: I Love Him And Johnny, they're amazing.

Mad Hatter says: I love him and Johnny, they're amazing.

Willy Wonka says: You can't run a chocolate factory with a family hanging over you like an old, dead goose. No offense.

Grandpa George says: None taken. ...Jerk.

Will Turner says: This is either madness... or brilliance.

Jack Sparrow says: It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide.

Whitey Bulger says: What did you marinate this steak in? Because it's out of this world! You're killing me with it!

John McIntyre says: Now, now, it's a family secret.

Whitey Bulger says: Oh, come on! You got to tell me that! What's the secret? Come on, you can do it, come on. That is one of the best goddamn steaks I have ever had in my life ever. What's the family secret recipe?

John McIntyre says: It's ground garlic and a bit of soy.

Whitey Bulger says: That's it?

John McIntyre says: Yeah, that's it. That's it.

Whitey Bulger says: I thought it was a family secret.

John McIntyre says: It's a recipe.

Whitey Bulger says: No, no, you said to me 'this is a family secret,' and you gave it up to me, boom, just like that. You spill the secret family recipe today, maybe you spill a little something about me tomorrow, hmm?

John McIntyre says: I was just saying that.

Whitey Bulger says: You were just saying? Just saying gets people sent away. Just saying got me a nine-year stretch in Alcatraz, you understand? So, just saying can get you buried real quick... Look at his face!

Lindsey Cyr says: Jimmy, he's six. You really think that's the best thing to be telling you kid?

Whitey Bulger says: Yeah.

Lindsey Cyr says: Jimmy, he's six. You really think that's the best thing to be telling you kid?

Whitey Bulger says: Yeah.

Whitey Bulger says: You didn't get in trouble because you punched the boy in his face, you got in trouble because you got caught punching the boy in his face

Whitey Bulger says: Take your shot, but make it your best. I get up, I'll eat you.

Whitey Bulger says: We get the FBI to fight our wars, and we get to do whatever we want to do!

George Jung says: We had the world by the short and curly's. We were young, rich, and in love. Nothing could stop us. It was perfect.

John Wilmot Second Earl of Rochester says: You will not like me.

Gilbert Grape says: Why will I take care of it?

Arnie Grape says: Gilbert...

Gilbert Grape says: Hmm?

Arnie Grape says: 'Cause you're Gilbert.

Gilbert Grape says: 'Cause I'm Gilbert.

Dr. Will Caster says: We're not going to fight them we're going to transcend them.

Sweeney Todd says: There's a hole in the world, like a great black pit. And the vermin of the world inhabit it. And it's morals aren't worth what a pig could spit. And it goes by the name of London. On top of the hole sits the privileged few, making mock of the vermin in the lower zoo. Turning beauty into filth and greed. I too, have sailed the world and seen it's wonders. For the cruelty of men is as wondrous as Peru. But there's no place like London.

Jack Sparrow says: Me, I'm dishonest, and you can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, 'cause you can never predict if they're going to do something incredibly stupid.

Elise Clifton-Ward says: I'm Elise.

Frank Tupelo says: I'm Frank.

Elise Clifton-Ward says: That's a terrible name.

Frank Tupelo says: It's the only one I got….

Elise Clifton-Ward says: 20 million dollars worth of plastic surgery. And that's the face you choose.

Frank Tupelo says: You don't like it?

Elise Clifton-Ward says: It will do.

Elise Clifton-Ward says: Invite me to dinner, Frank?

Frank Tupelo says: What? Would you like to have dinner?

Elise Clifton-Ward says: Women don't like questions.

Frank Tupelo says: Join me for dinner.

Elise Clifton-Ward says: Too demanding.

Frank Tupelo says: Join me for dinner?

Elise Clifton-Ward says: Another question.

Frank Tupelo says: I'm having dinner, if you'd care to join me.

Evelyn says: It is you.

Dr. Will Caster says: It always was.

Evelyn says: I’m sorry I didn’t believe.

Dr. Will Caster says: You’re surprised to see me, Joseph?

Joseph Tagger says: Hmmm, that depends. Can you prove that you are self-aware?

Dr. Will Caster says: Well that’s an interesting question. Can you prove to me that you are?

Evelyn says: There is no better person to answer this problem than our next speaker. Of course, I may be biased. Please welcome my partner in science as well as life, Dr. Will Caster.

Dr. Will Caster says: My lovely wife wants to change the world. I'll settle for understanding it first.

Dr. Will Caster says: They're trying to destroy me.

Evelyn says: You're destroying them.

Miserable Student says: So you're trying to create a god? Your own god?

Dr. Will Caster says: That's a very food question. Um, isn't that what man has always tried to do?

Dr. Will Caster says: That's a very good question. Um, isn't that what man has always tried to do?

Max Waters says: Are you sure about this?

Dr. Will Caster says: Good enough for the monkey.

Dr. Will Caster says: I don't understand this is the future.

Dr. Will Caster says: I need more power get me online.

Dr. Will Caster says: For one hundred and thirty thousand years, our capacity to reason has remained unchanged. The combined intellect of the neuroscientists, mathematicians and engineers pales in comparison to the most basic A.I. Once online, a sentient machine will quickly overcome the limits of biology; in a short time, its analytic power will become greater than the collective intelligence of every person born in the history of the world. Some scientists refer to this as the Singularity. I call it Transcendence.

Ichabod Crane says: The millennium is almost upon us. In a few months, we will be living in the nineteenth century. But our courts continue to rely on medieval devices of torture

High Constable says: Stand down.

Ichabod Crane says: I stand up for sense and justice.

Reverend Steenwyck says: Their heads weren't found severed. Their heads were not found at all.

Ichabod Crane says: The heads are... gone?

James Hardenbrook says: Taken. Taken by the Headless Horseman. Taken back to hell.

Brom Van Brunt says: We haven't heard your name yet, friend.

Ichabod Crane says: I have not said it.

Ichabod Crane says: Doctor Lancaster, Reverend Steenwyck, Notary Hardenbrook, and Magistrates Philipse, who tried to cut and run, and lost his head. Four frightned men, arguing on the very night Magistrate Philipse was killed. There's a conspiracy here. The doctor, the reverend, the notary, and the magistrate. What is the secret that unites them? Magistrate Philipse knew there were five bodies to four graves, knew the widow was pregnant, but would not tell me the name of the father. What does this point to? We must proceed by a process of elimination. I shall make a list of every man and woman in Sleepy Hollow, starting with their chief citizen, Baltus Van Tassel. I feel we're getting very close.

Tonto says: Don't ever do that again

Tonto says: Don't ever do that again.

Sweeney Todd says: Look at me, Mrs Lovett! Look at you! No, we all deserve to die... Even you, Mrs Lovett, even I! Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief. For the rest of us death will be a relief. We all deserve to die...

Corpse Bride says: Pardon my enthusiasm.

Victor Van Dort says: I like your enthusiasm.

Barnabas Collins says: Ahhh, music... Yes, I'm rather fond of the music of the day. "I'm a picker, I'm a grinner, I'm a lover and I'm a sinner. I play my music in the sun."

Sweeney Todd says: At last my arm is complete again!

Dan Reid says: What's your crime boy?

Tonto says: Indian!

Tonto says: Eight men rode into canyon… I dug seven graves. Horse says, you are spirit walker, a man who has been to the other side and returned, a man who cannot be killed in battle.

Tonto says: From the Great Beyond a vision told me a great warrior would help me on my quest.

John Reid/The Lone Ranger says: The horse can fly?

Tonto says: Don't be stupid.

Tonto says: Good shot!

John Reid/The Lone Ranger says: It was meant to be a warning shot.

Tonto says: In that case, not so good.

Raoul Duke says: My attorney had never been able to accept the notion, often espoused by former drug abusers, that you can get a lot higher without drugs than with them, and neither have I for that matter.

Raoul Duke says: I'm a relatively respectable citizen. Multiple felon perhaps, but certainly not dangerous.

Raoul Duke says: All energy flows according to the whims of the Great Magnet. What a fool I was to defy him.

Raoul Duke says: Nothing. Never mind, it was all a big joke. Actually, I'm poolside at the Flamingo right now, talking though a portable phone some dwarf brought out from the casino. I have total credit here. DON'T come anywhere near this place, you bastard. Foreigners aren't welcome.

Raoul Duke says: Nothing. Never mind, it was all a big joke. Actually, I'm poolside at the Flamingo right now, talking though a portable phone some dwarf brought out from the casino. I have total credit here. Don't come anywhere near this place, you bastard. Foreigners aren't welcome.

Raoul Duke says: [driving the white Caddy] Now this was a superior machine. Ten grand worth of gimmicks and high-priced special effects. The rear windows lit up with a touch like frogs in a dynamite pond. The dashboard was full of esoteric lights and dials and meters that I would never understand

Raoul Duke says: Now this was a superior machine. Ten grand worth of gimmicks and high-priced special effects. The rear windows lit up with a touch like frogs in a dynamite pond. The dashboard was full of esoteric lights and dials and meters that I would never understand.

Raoul Duke says: Total control now. Tooling along the main drag on a Saturday night in Vegas. Two good old boys in a fire-apple red convertible. Stoned. Ripped. Twisted. Good people.

Raoul Duke says: You people voted for Hubert Humphrey, and you killed Jesus.

Raoul Duke says: You people voted for Hubert Humphrey and you killed Jesus.

Raoul Duke says: In some circles, the Mint 400 is a far far better thing than the Superbowl, the Kentucky Derby, and the lower Oakland roller derby finals all rolled into one. This race attracts a very special breed.

Raoul Duke says: Jesus, bad waves of paranoia, madness, fear and loathing - intolerable vibrations in this place. Get out. The weasels were closing in. I could smell the ugly brutes.

Raoul Duke says: I was right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo, and somebody was giving booze to these goddamn things. Won't be long now before they tear us to shreds.

Raoul Duke says: But our trip was different. It was to be a classic affirmation of everything right and true in the national character. A gross physical salute to the fantastic possibilities of life in this country. But only for those with true grit.

Raoul Duke says: Well, you'll go straight to the gas chamber for this one. And even if you manage to beat that, they'll still send you back to Nevada for rape and consensual sodomy. She's got to go.

Raoul Duke says: Panic. It crept up my spine like first rising vibes of an acid frenzy. All these horrible realities began to dawn on me. There I was. Alone in Las Vegas, completely twisted on drugs, no cash, no story for the magazine, and on top of everything else, a gigantic god damned hotel bill to deal with. How would Horatio Alger handle this situation? Stay calm. Stay calm.

Raoul Duke says: Bazooko's Circus is what the whole hep world would be doing Saturday nights if the Nazis had won the war. This was the Sixth Reich.

Raoul Duke says: With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he'll never know.

Raoul Duke says: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.

Gilbert Grape says: Where's Arnie?

Arnie Grape says: You can't find me!

John Reid/The Lone Ranger says: What ta hell is that for?

Tonto says: Err bird..angry...

Tonto says: Err bird angry.

Raoul Duke says: Panic. It crept up my spine like first rising vibes of an acid frenzy. All these horrible realities began to dawn on me. There I was. Alone in Las Vegas, completely twisted on drugs, no cash, no story for the magazine, and on top of everything else, a gigantic god damned hotel bill to deal with. How would Horatio Alger handle this situation? Stay calm. Stay calm.

Raoul Duke says: How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?

Raoul Duke says: We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.

Raoul Duke says: Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. A normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow. But he won't know what to make of your blinker signal that says you are about to turn right. This is to let him know you're pulling off for a proper place to talk. It will take him a moment to realize that he's about to make a 180 degree turn at speed, but you will be ready for it. Brace for the g's, and fast heel-toe work.

Raoul Duke says: If the pigs were gathering in Vegas, I felt the drug culture should be represented as well. And there was a certain bent appeal in the notion of running a savage burn on one Las Vegas hotel, and then just wheeling across town and checking into another. Me and a thousand ranking cops from all over America. Why not? Move confidently into their midst.

Raoul Duke says: [at a bizarre circus-themed casino] Bazooko's Circus is what the whole hep world would be doing Saturday nights if the Nazis had won the war. This was the Sixth Reich.

Raoul Duke says: One of the things you learn from years of dealing with drug people, is that you can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug. Especially when it's waving a razor-sharp hunting knife in your eye.

The Lone Ranger says: What does Kemosabe mean?

Tonto says: It means I chose the wrong brother!

Tonto says: Don't ever do that again.

John Reid/The Lone Ranger says: Hi Ho Silver, away!

Tonto says: Don't ever do that again

Tonto says: Don't ever do that again.

Rango says: You want something to believe in? Believe in me!

Rango says: For as long as we have water, we have a town.

Mayor says: Mr. Rango is right, as long as we have water we have some hope.

John Reid/The Lone Ranger says: If we ride together, we ride for justice.

Tonto says: Justice is what I seek, Kemosabe.

Raoul Duke says: Quick, like a bunny!

Jack Sparrow says: There'll be no living with her after this.

Kim Boggs says: Hold me

Kim Boggs says: Hold me.

Edward Scissorhands says: I can't.

Hitchiker says: Hot damn! I never rode in a convertible before!

Raoul Duke says: Is that right? Well... I guess you're about ready, then, aren't you?

Raoul Duke says: Is that right? Well I guess you're about ready, then, aren't you?

Dr. Gonzo says: We're your friends. We're not like the others, man, really.

Raoul Duke says: No more of that talk or I'll put the fucking leeches on you, understand? (Dr. Gonzo chuckles as the Hitchiker looks nervous) Get in.

Raoul Duke says: No more of that talk or I'll put the fucking leeches on you, understand? Get in.

Raoul Duke says: (to Dr. Gonzo) Quick, like a bunny!

Raoul Duke says: Quick, like a bunny!

Dean Corso says: Come to think of it, I'm not even sure I trust you.

Rodero Bernie says: You know I wouldn't screw you unless there was a good reason: money, women, business. Other than that, you can relax.

Liana Telfer says: Don't fuck with me!

Dean Corso says: I thought I already did.

David Collins says: [opening the coffin in which Barnabas has been chained] Uncle Barnabas, why do you have ladies underwear on your head?

David Collins says: Uncle Barnabas, why do you have ladies underwear on your head?

Barnabas Collins says: Never mind that..

Barnabas Collins says: Never mind that.

Barnabas Collins says: [Barnabus stares at a lava lamp] What is that thing?

Barnabas Collins says: What is that thing?

Dr. Julia Hoffman says: It's a lamp.

Barnabas Collins says: It looks like a pulsating blood urn!

Elizabeth Collins Stoddard says: Fight on, Barnabus, Fight on for us.

Barnabas Collins says: And fight i shall!

Captain Barbossa says: You know Jack, I thought I had you figured out. But it turns out you're a hard man to predict.

Jack Sparrow says: Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you never know when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.

Jack Sparrow says: Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you never know when they're going to do something incredibly stupid.

Jack Sparrow says: We're not free yet, love.

Captain Jack Sparrow says: Did everyone see that? Because I will not be doing it again!

Bela Lugosi says: GODDAMN, it's cold!

Ed Wood says: It'll warm up once you're in it.

Bela Lugosi says: FUCK YOU! You come out here!

Ed Wood says: Listen, I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime, grab some dinner, maybe?

Vampira says: You mean a date? I thought you were a fag

Ed Wood says: No, no, I'm just a transvestite.

Georgie Weiss says: Why would Lugosi wanna do a sex-change flick?

Ed Wood says: Because he's my friend!

Ed Wood says: Boy, Mr. Lugosi, you must lead such an exciting life! When is your next picture coming out?

Bela Lugosi says: I have no next picture.

Ed Wood says: You gotta be joking, a great star like you? You must have dozens of them lined up!

Bela Lugosi says: Back in the old days, yes... Now, no one gives two fucks for Bela.

Ed Wood says: But you're a big star!

Bela Lugosi says: No more. I haven't worked in four years. This business, this town, it chews you up, then spits you out. [pauses] I'm just an ex-boogeyman

Bela Lugosi says: No more. I haven't worked in four years. This business, this town, it chews you up, then spits you out. [pauses] I'm just an ex-boogeyman.

Ed Wood says: [Bela Lugosi casts a love spell on Vampira who is on TV while moving his fingers like Dracula] My Gosh, Bela, how do you do that?

Bela Lugosi says: You must be double-jointed. And you must be Hungarian

Bela Lugosi says: You must be double-jointed. And you must be Hungarian.

Barnabas Collins says: I have another proposition. It reads thusly: You may place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly!

Carolyn Stoddard says: Are you stoned or something?

Barnabas Collins says: They tried stoning me, my dear. It did not work.

Barnabas Collins says: [Looks at Alice Cooper] Ugliest woman I've ever seen.

Barnabas Collins says: [looks at Alice Cooper] Ugliest woman I've ever seen.

Barnabas Collins says: They say blood is thicker than water. It is what defines us, binds us together...

Ichabod Crane says: [Stands covered in blood] Gentlemen, we are dealing with a mad man.

Ichabod Crane says: [stands covered in blood] Gentlemen, we are dealing with a mad man.

Victor Van Dort says: With this hand...I will take your wine...no...

Elizabeth Swann says: This is madness.

Jack Sparrow says: This is politics.

John Dillinger says: My ass.

Jack Sparrow says: Gentlemen! You shall always remember this as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!

Anthony Hope says: Mr. Todd you have to help me! Mr. Todd, please!

Sweeney Todd says: Out.

Anthony Hope says: Mr. Todd!

Sweeney Todd says: OUT!!

Sweeney Todd says: No I had him! His throat was bare beneath my hand. No I had him! His throat was there and now he'll never come again

Mrs. Nellie Lovett says: Easy now, hush love hush I keep telling you - Whats your rush?

Sweeney Todd says: When? Why do I wait? You told me to wait - Now he'll never come again. There's a hole in the world like a great black pit And it's filled with people who are filled with shit! And the vermin of the world inhabit it. But not for long... They all deserve to die. Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why. Because in all of the whole human race Mrs. Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two There's the one staying put in his proper place And the one with his foot in the other one's face Look at me, Mrs Lovett, look at you.