Steve Martin

Steve Martin

Highest Rated: 100% Steve Martin and Martin Short: An Evening You Will Forget for the Rest of Your Life (2018)

Lowest Rated: 6% Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (2005)

Birthday: Aug 14, 1945

Birthplace: Waco, Texas, USA

Working as a Disneyland concessionaire in his teens, comedian Steve Martin's first experiences in entertainment were of the party performer variety -- he picked up skills in juggling, tap-dancing, sleight of hand, and balloon sculpting, among other things. He later attended U.C.L.A., where he majored in philosophy and theater before moving on to staff-writer stints for such TV performers as Glen Campbell, the Smothers Brothers, Dick Van Dyke, John Denver, and Sonny & Cher. Occasionally allowed to perform as well as write, Martin didn't go into standup comedy full-time until the late '60s, when he moved to Canada and appeared as a semi-regular on the syndicated TV variety series Half the George Kirby Comedy Hour. As the opening act for rock stars in the early '70s, Martin emulated the fashion of the era with a full beard, shaggy hair, colorful costumes, and drug jokes. Comedians of such ilk were common in this market, however, so Martin carefully developed a brand-new persona: the well-groomed, immaculately dressed young man who goes against his appearance by behaving like a lunatic. By 1975, he was the "Comic of the Hour," convulsing audiences with his feigned enthusiasm over the weakest of jokes and the most obvious of comedy props. His entire act a devastating parody of second-rate comedians who rely on preconditioning to get laughs, Martin became internationally famous for such catch phrases as "Excu-u-use me!," "Happy feet!," and "I am...one wild and crazy guy!" It was fun for a while to hear audiences shout them out even before he'd uttered them, but it wasn't long before Martin was tired of live standup and anxious to get into films. Though Martin had roles in Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1977) and The Muppet Movie, Martin's true screen bow was The Jerk (1979), in which, with the seriousness of Olivier, he portrayed a bumbling, self-described poor black child-turned accidental millionaire. Had he been a lesser performer, Martin could have played variations on The Jerk for the remainder of his life, but he preferred to seek out new challenges. It took nerve to go against the sensibilities of his fans with an on-edge portrayal of a habitual loser in Pennies From Heaven (1981), but Martin was successful, even if the film wasn't. And few other actors could convincingly pull off a project like Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (1983), wherein, and with utter conviction, he acted opposite film clips of dead movie stars. After a first-rate turn in All of Me (1984), in which he played a man whose body is inhabited by the soul of a woman, Martin's film work began to fluctuate in quality, only to emerge on top again with Roxanne (1987), a potentially silly but ultimately compelling update of Cyrano de Bergerac. Though he participated in a fair amount of misses in the '80s and '90s (Mixed Nuts (1994), Housesitter (1992), Leap of Faith (1992), and Sgt. Bilko (1996), to name a few), Martin was unarguably full of surprises, as witnessed in his unsympathetic portrayal in Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1989), his hilariously evil dentist in Little Shop of Horrors (1986), his angst-ridden father in Parenthood (1989), his smooth-talking Italian in My Blue Heaven, and his callow film producer in Grand Canyon (1991) -- though the public still seemed to prefer his standard comic performances in The Three Amigos (1986), Father of the Bride (1991), and L.A. Story (1991). Martin then went out on yet another artistic limb with A Simple Twist of Fate (1994) -- a film update of that high-school English-class perennial Silas Marner. After starring in a very dark role in David Mamet's The Spanish Prisoner (1997) and an unsuccessful return to comedy in The Out-of-Towners (1999), Martin again won acclaim for Bowfinger, a 1999 comedy-satire that cast him as its titular hero, an unsuccessful movie director trying to make a film without the aid of a real script or real star. Martin -- who also wrote the film's screenplay -- played the straight man aga

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Highest Rated Movies

Filmography

Movies

Credit
94% Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind Actor 2018
100% Steve Martin and Martin Short: An Evening You Will Forget for the Rest of Your Life Actor Screenwriter 2018
No Score Yet The American Epic Sessions Actor 2017
43% Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk Norm Oglesby $1.8M 2016
52% Live From New York! Actor 2015
50% Home Capt. Smek $157.9M 2015
No Score Yet Almost Home Actor 2014
No Score Yet Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! Live Actor 2013
No Score Yet Give Me The Banjo Narrator 2012
41% The Big Year Stu Preissler $7.2M 2011
58% It's Complicated Adam $112.8M 2009
13% Pink Panther 2 Screenwriter Inspector Jacques Clouseau $36M 2009
65% Traitor Executive Producer $23.6M 2008
63% Baby Mama Barry $60.3M 2008
No Score Yet Make 'Em Laugh: The Funny Business Of America Actor 2008
No Score Yet Slednecks 11 Actor 2008
88% Young@Heart Himself - Young@Heart Chorus $3.8M 2007
6% Cheaper by the Dozen 2 Tom Baker $82.5M 2005
60% Shopgirl Ray Porter Producer Screenwriter $10.1M 2005
22% Jiminy Glick in Lalawood Himself $26.2K 2005
No Score Yet Queen Latifah: Unauthorized Actor 2005
No Score Yet Saturday Night Live - The Best of Tom Hanks Actor 2005
No Score Yet The Rutles 2---Can't Buy Me Lunch Actor 2004
24% Cheaper by the Dozen Tom Baker $138.6M 2003
56% Looney Tunes: Back in Action Mr. Chairman $21.1M 2003
34% Bringing Down the House Peter Sanderson 2003
No Score Yet Comedy Central Presents: The N.Y. Friars Club Roast of Chevy Chase Actor 2002
38% Novocaine Dr. Frank Sangster $1.6M 2001
No Score Yet Monty Python Live! Actor 2001
73% Remember the Titans Heckler $114.3M 2000
No Score Yet Dish Dogs David 2000
81% Fantasia 2000 Narrator 2000
65% Joe Gould's Secret Charlie Duell 2000
81% Bowfinger Screenwriter Bobby Bowfinger 1999
27% The Out-of-Towners Henry 1999
No Score Yet Saturday Night Live: The Best of Steve Martin Actor 1999
80% The Prince of Egypt Hotep 1998
89% The Spanish Prisoner Jimmy Dell 1997
31% Sgt. Bilko Sgt. Ernie Bilko 1996
48% Father of the Bride: Part II George Banks 1995
10% Mixed Nuts Philip 1994
43% A Simple Twist of Fate Michael McCann Screenwriter Executive Producer 1994
No Score Yet Saturday Night Live - Best of the Coneheads Actor 1994
100% And the Band Played On Brother 1993
62% Leap of Faith Jonas Nightengale 1992
37% Housesitter Newton Davis 1992
No Score Yet Shelley Duvall's Bedtime Stories Actor 1992
77% Grand Canyon Davis 1991
29% Hudson Hawk Ook 1991
94% L.A. Story Executive Producer Harris K. Telemacher Screenwriter 1991
70% Father of the Bride George Banks 1991
71% My Blue Heaven Vinnie Antonelli 1990
91% Parenthood Gil 1989
No Score Yet Monty Python's Parrot Sketch Not Included Host 1989
89% Dirty Rotten Scoundrels Freddy Benson 1988
91% Planes, Trains and Automobiles Neal Page 1987
90% Roxanne Screenwriter Executive Producer C. D. Bales 1987
90% Little Shop of Horrors Orin Scrivello 1986
46% Three Amigos! Lucky Day Executive Producer Screenwriter 1986
No Score Yet Movers & Shakers Fabio Longio 1985
No Score Yet The History of White People in America Actor 1985
88% All of Me Roger Cobb 1984
48% The Lonely Guy Larry Hubbard 1984
76% The Man with Two Brains Screenwriter Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr 1983
79% Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid Screenwriter Rigby Reardon 1982
82% Pennies From Heaven Arthur 1981
100% The Kids Are Alright Actor 1979
81% The Jerk Screenwriter Navin Johnson 1979
88% The Muppet Movie Insolent Waiter 1979
12% Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band Dr. Maxwell Edison 1978

TV

Credit
No Score Yet The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
2015
Guest Appearing 2020
2017
2016
No Score Yet Late Night With Seth Meyers
2014
Guest 2019
No Score Yet The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
2014
Guest Performer 2019
2018
2016
2015
2014
No Score Yet Jimmy Kimmel Live
2003
Guest 2018
No Score Yet Sunday Morning
2011-2018
Guest Appearing 2018
2016
No Score Yet Today
2017
Guest Performer 2017
No Score Yet Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee
2012-2019
Appearing 2016
38% Maya & Marty
2016
Appearing 2016
No Score Yet CBS This Morning
2012
Guest 2016
2014
No Score Yet American Masters
2001
Appearing 2015
No Score Yet Charlie Rose
2013-2017
Performer 2015
2014
No Score Yet Late Show With David Letterman
1993-2015
Guest 2015
2013
No Score Yet Great Performances
2000
Performer 2014
No Score Yet Inside Comedy
2012-2015
Guest 2013
No Score Yet The View
1997
Guest 2013
No Score Yet Conan
2010
Guest Performer 2013
2012
2011
No Score Yet Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
2009-2014
Performer 2013
2011
No Score Yet The Ellen DeGeneres Show
2003
Guest Performer 2013
2011
2007
2006
No Score Yet The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
1992-2014
Guest 2012
2011
2000
No Score Yet Colbert Report
2005-2014
Guest 2011
2010
2009
No Score Yet Saturday Night Live
1975
Host Guest Appearing Performer 2011
2010
2009
2006
1994
1991
1989
1987
1986
1980
1979
1978
1977
1976
No Score Yet Independent Lens
1999
Appearing 2010
45% The Academy Awards
1978
2010
2003
2001
85% 30 Rock
2006-2013
Gavin Volure 2008
No Score Yet The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
1999-2015
Guest 2008
No Score Yet Art in the Twenty-First Century
2001-2018
2001
85% The Simpsons
1989
Voice 1998
100% The Muppet Show
1976-1981
Guest 1977

QUOTES FROM Steve Martin CHARACTERS

Car Rental Agent says: May I see you rental agreement?

Neal Page says: I threw it away.

Car Rental Agent says: Oh boy.

Neal Page says: Oh boy what?

Car Rental Agent says: You're fucked.

Car Rental Agent says: May I see your rental agreement?

Neal Page says: I threw it away.

Car Rental Agent says: Oh boy.

Neal Page says: Oh boy what?

Car Rental Agent says: You're fucked!

C. D. Bales says: Keep that guy away from my cocaine!

Lucky Day says: In a way, all of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be *the actual* El Guapo!

Lucky Day says: Not so fast El Guapo! Or I'll pump you so full of lead you'll be using your dick for a pencil!

El Guapo says: What do you mean?

Lucky Day says: I don't know.

Jefe says: I think he means that if you...

El Guapo says: Shut up!

Roger Cobb says: Tell the truth, I kind a miss the old girl.

Edwina Cutwater says: Who are you calling old?!

Roger Cobb says: That's not funny, Ty.

Edwina Cutwater says: It is not Mr. Wattell. It is I.

Roger Cobb says: ...Edwina??

Tyrone Wattell says: Yeah. When you gave me that pitcher & told me to take care of it, I thought it was gin & drank some.

Roger Cobb says: Edwina, I gotta kiss you!

Tyrone Wattell says: That's MY side, stupid!

Davis says: That's part of your problem you know, you haven't seen enough movies; all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.

Davis says: I think if you talk about stuff, then maybe that takes the place of doing it.

Davis says: You're always talking about X but you're thinking about Y. Learn to talk about Y, forget about X. X is going to take care of itself.

Del Griffith says: I know you don't I? I'm usually very good with names, but I'll be damned if I haven't forgotten yours.

Neal Page says: You stole my cab.

Del Griffith says: I never stole anything in my life.

Neal Page says: I hailed a cab on Park Avenue this afternoon and, before I could get in it, you stole it.

Del Griffith says: You're the guy who tried to get my cab. I knew I knew you! You scared the bejesus out of me. Come to think of it - it was easy to get a cab during rush hour.

Neal Page says: Del, what are you still doing here? Why aren't you going home?

Del Griffith says: I... I don't have a home. Marie's been dead for eight years.

Screaming Driver says: Put your window down!

Neal Page says: He wants something.

Del Griffith says: Ah, he's probably drunk.

Screaming Driver says: You're going the wrong way!

Neal Page says: What?!

Del Griffith says: We were robbed!

Neal Page says: Do you think so?

Neal Page says: You're messing with the wrong guy!

Freddy Benson says: Go stand over there.

Janet Colgate says: Here?

Freddy Benson says: No, over by the bed. I want to see how far I can go.

Harris K. Telemacher says: [talking about the weather] This is L.A. What's gonna change?

Harris K. Telemacher says: This is L.A. What's gonna change?

Lucky Day says: We have a plan.

Carmen says: Yes, what is it??

Lucky Day says: First we break into El Guapo's fortress.

Carmen says: And that you've done, now what?

Lucky Day says: ...well we didn't really expect the first part of the plan to work so we really didn't think much about what we were going to do next. You really can't overplan these things.

Rigby Reardon says: Here's three bucks if you can get this cab to 46 Bay Court in ten minutes. [watches as the taxi speeds off]

Rigby Reardon says: Here's three bucks if you can get this cab to 46 Bay Court in ten minutes.

Rigby Reardon says: [running to another taxi] Follow that cab!

Rigby Reardon says: Follow that cab!

Rigby Reardon says: I always carry my harmonica: it's lighter than an accordion and more powerful than a sleeping pill.

Rigby Reardon says: Where'd you learn that?

Juliet Forrest says: At camp.

Rigby Reardon says: You learned that at girls' camp?

Juliet Forrest says: It's really for a snake bite, but I find it works for everything.

Vinnie Antonelli says: Nice day for a mow.

Harris K. Telemacher says: '"Is this the new cruelty?"'

Harris K. Telemacher says: Is this the new cruelty?

Freddy Benson says: I know somebody here! I met him on a train! His name... is... his name is... James. No. His name is... James Josephson. Lor. No, no, no. James Lawrence. LAWRENCE... Lawrence. Lawrence Fells. Lawrence Feings. Forest Lorenston. Low. Lars. LARS. Lawrence. Lawrence. Luch. Lawrence. Tuh. His name is James Jesenthon. Lawrence Fell. Lawrence Jesterton. LAWRENCE

Freddy Benson says: I've got culture coming out of my ass.

Freddy Benson says: [in a childlike voice] Oh, Lawrence! This is the happiest day of my life! I think my testicles are dropping!

Freddy Benson says: I didn't steal any money! She just saw me with another woman! You're French, you understand that!

Inspector Andre says: To be with another woman, that is French. To be caught, that is American.

Gil Buckman says: What say later, after the kids are asleep, I wear this outfit?

Car Rental Agent says: How may I help you?

Neal Page says: You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can get me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick, four fucking wheels and a seat!

Car Rental Agent says: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.

Neal Page says: And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car...right...fucking...now.

Del Griffith says: You play with your balls alot.

Del Griffith says: You play with your balls a lot.

Neal Page says: I do not play with my balls

Neal Page says: I do NOT play with my balls.

Del Griffith says: ha ha ha. Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball handling in one night as you do in an hour.

Del Griffith says: Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!

Neal Page says: Are you trying to start a fight?

Neal Page says: Are you trying to start a fight?

Del Griffith says: No. I'm simply stating a fact that's all. You fidget with your nuts alot.

Del Griffith says: No. I'm simply stating a fact. That's all. You fidget with your nuts a lot.

Acme VP Nitpicking says: What about the duck?

Mr. Chairman says: Extra crispy. (Bum bum bum)

Mr. Chairman says: Extra crispy. [bum bum bum]

Orin Scrivello D.D.S. says: What did I ever do to you?

Seymour Krelborn says: Nothing. It's what you did to her.

Orin Scrivello D.D.S. says: Her who?

Seymour Krelborn says: . . . . .

Seymour Krelborn says: ...

Orin Scrivello D.D.S. says: Oh, her.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau says: What?

Gilbert Ponton says: Nothing.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau says: You mean you didn't just say, "AAAHHHHHHH"?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau says: You mean you didn't just say, 'AAAHHHHHHH'?

Rigby Reardon says: My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face, and the slowly move her to the next room, maneuver her next to the bed, marry her and start the whoopee machine.

Neal Page says: ...Del? Why did you kiss my ear?

Del Griffith says: ...Why are you holding my hand?

Neal Page says: ...Where's your OTHER hand?

Del Griffith says: ...Between two pillows...

Neal Page says: ...Those aren't pillows!

Del Griffith says: Aaaaaahhh!

Del Griffith says: Neal: [riding in back of pickup truck in freezing cold] What do you think the temperature is? Del: One.

Neal Page says: [riding in back of pickup truck in freezing cold] What do you think the temperature is?

Taxi racer says: One.

Del Griffith says: One.

Navin Johnson says: Truck Driver Picking Up Navin: St. Louis? Navin R. Johnson: No, Navin Johnson.

Navin Johnson says: No, Navin Johnson.

Rigby Reardon says: My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face.

Rigby Reardon says: I hadn't seen a body put together like that since I'd solved the case of the Murdered Girl with the Big Tits.

Rigby Reardon says: Carlotta was the kind of town where they spell trouble T-R-U-B-I-L, and if you try to correct them, they kill you.

Orin Scrivello D.D.S. says: Aw shut up!Open Wide! Here I come!

Orin Scrivello D.D.S. says: Aw shut up! Open wide! Here I come!

Patty Bernstein says: [provocatively] You know what I wanna do?

Navin Johnson says: What's that?

Patty Bernstein says: Guess *your* weight. [starts squeezing on him everywhere]

Navin Johnson says: Hey, you're really trying to be accurate!

Navin Johnson says: Good Lord - I've heard about this - cat juggling! Stop! Stop! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Good. Father, could there be a God that would let this happen?

Navin Johnson says: [Navin recites some wisdom] Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.

Navin Johnson says: For one dollar I'll guess your weight, your height, or your sex.

Ned Nederlander says: Chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip... LONNEEEEEEEE! [fires pistol]

Lucky Day says: Farley-farley-farley-farley-farley-farley... Hafurrrrrrr... [fires pistol]

Dusty Bottoms says: Kinut, hoooooola widdle! Tas, habble... sohn. [accidentally shoots the Invisible Swordsman]

Lucky Day says: Oh, great. You killed the invisible swordsman!

Ned Nederlander says: [runs over to check] He's dead, all right.

Dusty Bottoms says: How was I supposed to know where he was?

Lucky Day says: You were supposed to fire up. *We* both fired *up*. [aside] It's like living with a six-year old.

Navin Johnson says: He hates these cans!

Dave says: But movies cost millions of dollars to make.

Bobby Bowfinger says: That's after gross net deduction profit percentage deferment ten percent of the nut. Cash, every movie cost $2,184.

Bobby Bowfinger says: Now that you and your colleagues here at Mindfu - , head have had a chance to think, what do you say?

Bobby Bowfinger says: [Interviewing Jiff for the movie] ... Would you be willing to cut your hair?

Bobby Bowfinger says: [Interviewing Jiff for the movie] Would you be willing to cut your hair?

Jiff Ramsey says: Well, yeah, but it would probably be better if someone else did it. I've had a few... accidents.

Brad Harris says: Of all courtship rituals in the animal kingdom, the most spectacular by far is that of the bald eagle. The male and female climb to dizzying heights and then ...join in free fall, plummeting toward earth, locked in each others embrace, separating only at the very last moment.

Stu Preissler says: God, I miss Edith.

Kenny Bostick says: Yeah, I kind of miss Jess.

Mr. Chairman says: [talking to DJ Drake] Now!,..This my friend, is the ACME train of death, which is not good news for your father!

Damien Drake says: [on TV screen] Don't worry about me son, I've gotten out of worse scrapes than this one!

Mr. Chairman says: You see, if the train of death doesn't kill him, then those crates of TNT will, not to mention the two ton anvil hanging over his head, and oh!,..Look, there's the pendulum of doom! What's the pendulum of doom doing there?! I did not order the pendulum of doom!? It's overkill! Get rid of it! [Wile E. Coyote quickly draws up the pendulum from above Damien Drake]

Navin Johnson says: You mean I'm going to stay this color??

Navin Johnson says: You mean I'm going to stay this color?

Navin Johnson says: Stan Fox: Damn these glasses. Navin R. Johnson: Yes, sir. [to the glasses] Navin R. Johnson: I damn thee.

Navin Johnson says: That Patty must be a sweet girl.

Navin Johnson says: First I get my name in the phone book and now I'm on your ass. You know, I'll bet more people see that than the phone book.

Navin Johnson says: The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here!

Navin Johnson says: Theses cans are defective!

Stu says: "I can't miss the flight. There's not another one for a week."

Stu says: I can't miss the flight. There's not another one for a week.

Stu says: "January 1st I'm out of here."

Stu says: January 1st I'm out of here.

Hannah Stubbs says: And where did you learn to jump start a car?

Vinnie Antonelli says: I learned it in the army.

Barney Coopersmith says: You dont tip FBI men!

Vinnie Antonelli says: Sure you do!

Navin Johnson says: Speaking to Marie in bed while she sleeps] I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.

Navin Johnson says: [speaking to Marie in bed while she sleeps] I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.

Stu says: Am I nuts Edith?

Edith says: Are you asking me as a therapist, or as a wife?

Stu says: Which one is cheaper?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau says: What? What did you say?

Gilbert Ponton says: Nothing.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau says: You mean, you didn't just say: Stop the car, dear God, I beg of you, stop the car?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau says: You mean, you didn't just say: 'Stop the car, dear God, I beg of you, stop the car'?

Dolores Benedict says: Get those assholes off the porch! (about the hired-help, standing next to potted plants, awaiting the couple at the door to the Doctor's mansion.. )

Dolores Benedict says: Get those assholes off the porch! [about the hired-help, standing next to potted plants, awaiting the couple at the door to the Doctor's mansion]

Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr says: huh! (laughs naievely).. They're called azeliahs...

Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr says: Huh! [laughs naively] They're called azaleas.

Freddy Benson says: "May I go to the bathroom?"

Freddy Benson says: May I go to the bathroom?

Freddy Benson says: Excuse me. May I go to the bathroom first?

Lawrence Jamieson says: "Of course."

Lawrence Jamieson says: Of course.

Lawrence Jamieson says: Of course you may.

Freddy Benson says: "Thank you."

Freddy Benson says: Thank you.

Freddy Benson says: [after a pause, and with relief] Thank you.

Neal Page says: He says we're going the wrong way...

Neal Page says: He says we're going the wrong way.

Del Griffith says: Oh, he's drunk. How would he know where we're going?

Del Griffith says: Oh, he's drunk. How would he know where we're going?

Neal Page says: where's your other hand?

Neal Page says: Where's your other hand?

Del Griffith says: between two pillows.

Del Griffith says: Between two pillows.

Neal Page says: those aren't pillows!

Neal Page says: Those aren't pillows!

Orin Scrivello D.D.S. says: *yells* Is somebody talkin' to you?!

Orin Scrivello D.D.S. says: [yells] Is somebody talking to you?!

Audrey says: *says nervously* Oh, no....excuse me.

Audrey says: [says nervously] Oh, no...excuse me.

Orin Scrivello D.D.S. says: Excuse me what?!!

Orin Scrivello D.D.S. says: Excuse me what?!

Audrey says: Excuse me.....docta'.

Audrey says: Excuse me.....doctor.

Navin Johnson says: I was born a poor black child.

Orin Scrivello D.D.S. says: Your gonna be a Dentist!!