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Critics list

Keith Uhlich

Tomatometer-approved critic
Biography:

I don't know Butchie instead.

Critics' Group:
Official Website:

http://www.toxicuniverse.com

Reviews

Movies TV Shows
Take This Waltz (2011) 79% EDIT “There’s so much that’s right about the film: the Altman-like hustle and bustle of its party scenes, … the most pathos-infused use of "Video Killed the Radio Star" ever. Yet Polley’s dialogue is often unbearably clumsy.” – Time Out May 12, 2026 Full Review Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012) 34% EDIT “Four score and seven years a-whoa!” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) May 11, 2026 Full Review Hokum (2026) 89% EDIT “The gloomy pretensions are given a pointed and potent meta-textuality, despite the lingering sense that McCarthy may have had certain emotional and psychological script beats ordained by keepers of the coin.” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) May 4, 2026 Full Review The Devil Wears Prada 2 (2026) 78% EDIT “A prime example of "Let Them Eat Cake (And Have It Too)" cinema, a poisonous confection that pleasantly passes tastebuds and time, damn all the moral and ethical gallstones to follow! ” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) May 4, 2026 Full Review Exit 8 (2025) 93% EDIT “No appearance by the game’s sprinting White-Tile monster, but I made well-do enough with the Picasso-like monstrosities that creep their way from the Lost Man’s AI-slop-overrun social media feed into his labyrinthine arena of anguish.” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Apr 24, 2026 Full Review Project Hail Mary (2026) 94% EDIT “It runs two hours and thirty-something minutes. Feels like it lasts forty-six years. And among the many things I didn’t need in my life was a stealth sequel to Half Nelson…in space.” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Apr 6, 2026 Full Review O' Romeo (2026) 46% EDIT “The copious pleasures of the nearly three-hour journey between the first hazy-dawn images and the crackpot grand finale set in a Spanish bullfighting arena opposite a very Zangief-looking/M. Bison-attired motherf***** can’t be overstated.” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Feb 27, 2026 Full Review Midwinter Break (2026) 65% EDIT “Feature-debuting theater director Polly Findlay keeps things gentle and dutiful, with even the should-be-revelatory scenes (Manville’s teary to-a-stranger confessional, particularly) curdled by senescent sentiment.” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Feb 27, 2026 Full Review Scream 7 (2026) 31% EDIT “Campbell is still treating the proceedings like Greek tragedy. Bless her, she’s wonderful, turning Williamson’s irksomely above-it-all dialogue into resonantly world-wearied wisdom while the rest of the cast "goes all Dawson’s Creek."” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Feb 27, 2026 Full Review Cold Storage (2026) 81% EDIT “A fourth-wall-breaking regurgitative stinger followed by a basso-grunge cover of "(Don’t Fear) The Reaper" and a deep-in-end-credits "Special Thanks" to, uh, wha, Jacques Tati?!? are the cherries on top of a s*** sundae that I quite relished devouring.” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Feb 21, 2026 Full Review Kokuho (2025) 95% EDIT “Koan-ically: If a movie compels in the moment but fades in recollect, does it make a sound?” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Feb 21, 2026 Full Review Scare Out (2026) EDIT “It often feels like Zhang is being yanked between rah!-rah! copagandistic affection and vomitous moral revulsion…holding a mammoth, Munch-ian howl at bay.” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Feb 21, 2026 Full Review Blades of the Guardians (2026) 97% EDIT “Yuen Woo-ping knows how to direct wuxia action sequences, shocker, and additionally how to navigate a dizzying array of characters and locales so that any relational befuddlement becomes bliss.” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Feb 21, 2026 Full Review How to Make a Killing (2026) 44% EDIT “The bastard offspring of a Mad Libs-’n’-Chat GPT prompt: Kind Hearts and Coronets remake set in the world of Succession and starring Glen Powell. Result: Not terrible!” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Feb 21, 2026 Full Review Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die (2025) 81% EDIT “Buddha wisdom from the Budweiser: Frogs guy, who’da thunk?” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Feb 15, 2026 Full Review Wuthering Heights (2026) 57% EDIT “It often feels like we’re watching a mo-pic incarnation of the smutty scratchings doodled in the margins of a science textbook by a bored middle-schooler.” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Feb 15, 2026 Full Review Dracula (2025) 68% EDIT “A Godardian essay film in the vein of Jackass with a Henry James-esque tendency to forever orbit its ephemeral points.” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Feb 6, 2026 Full Review Dracula (2025) 54% EDIT “An engagingly sanguine if still too-digitally-scrubbed Yves Saint Laurent-ian fashion extravaganza that pompously purports to be about capital-‘L’ Love,” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Feb 6, 2026 Full Review The Moment (2026) 66% EDIT “Charli XCX's strenuous attempts to cheekily bury both herself and her Vroom Vrooming pop-tart anxieties six-feet metaphorically under add up to little more than Doomscroll Spinal Tap.” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Feb 6, 2026 Full Review Iron Lung (2026) 62% EDIT “Markiplier’s lugubrious mo-pic is vanity project Tarkovsky with a soupçon of early Ridley Scott, and hell’s bells if that hodgepodge isn’t more-often-than-not impressive and effective.” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Feb 6, 2026 Full Review Send Help (2026) 93% EDIT “As evinced by a fakeout moment of gory emasculation that should really have gone full castrato, Send Help too often pulls its punches, testicular and otherwise.” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Jan 30, 2026 Full Review Mercy (2026) 25% EDIT “Is this movie more interesting than a YouTube recording of Chris Pratt extolling RFK Jr. on Club Random with Bill Maher?” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Jan 24, 2026 Full Review Dust Bunny (2025) 85% EDIT “Dust Bunny thrives for a good while on Fuller’s fertile imagination, which here asks "What if Leon: The Professional but with a ravenous oversized leporid?” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Jan 24, 2026 Full Review Return to Silent Hill (2026) 18% EDIT “Has a digi-augmented chintziness on the one hand. On the other, the thought "Lady and the Duke-era Eric Rohmer doing Hellraiser" came frequently to mind.” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Jan 24, 2026 Full Review Cover-Up (2025) 98% EDIT “When it comes to the darker shades of Hersh's personality and pursuits, Poitras and Obenhaus tend to pull a Homer Simpson-style hedge retreat rather than probe deeper into the behavioral and psychological verdure.” – (All (Parentheses)) (Substack) Jan 18, 2026 Full Review
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