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      Tom Beasley

      Tom Beasley

      Tomatometer-approved critic
      Biography:

      Tom Beasley is a London-based freelance film critic and journalist who writes regularly for Yahoo Movies UK, Gizmodo, Flickering Myth and VultureHound. He is also a podcaster and interviewer.

      Publications:

      Movies reviews only

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      Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
      4/5
      Fast X (2023) Fast X uses its straight-faced tone as a cudgel, battering the audience into comedic submission and almost daring you to take it seriously, even for a second. No one on screen is laughing, and that just makes it funnier. - The Digital Fix
      Read More | Posted May 17, 2023
      2/5
      Book Club: The Next Chapter (2023) Certainly, the bottles of vino stack up more quickly than the laughs. - The Digital Fix
      Read More | Posted May 09, 2023
      3/5
      The Pope's Exorcist (2023) There’s nothing you haven’t seen before, but Avery puts it together with so much aplomb that you can’t help but have a good time. - The Digital Fix
      Read More | Posted Apr 08, 2023
      3/5
      The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023) A completely satisfying kids movie with a thoroughly nostalgic core that will delight those who have spent many happy hours in the company of this particular Italian plumber. - The Digital Fix
      Read More | Posted Apr 05, 2023
      4/5
      Pearl (2022) Pearl exists primarily as a savage and silly showcase for the utterly luminous Goth, who sinks her acting teeth into the myriad tones and vibes of the character. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Mar 17, 2023
      3/5
      Shazam! Fury of the Gods (2023) It moves through its relatively hefty two-hours-plus with an admirable zip, which is doubly impressive given the fact it’s almost impossible to work out what’s going on half the time. - The Digital Fix
      Read More | Posted Mar 16, 2023
      4/5
      Creed III (2023) A hell of a calling card for its director, who flexes every muscle as both actor and filmmaker to construct a movie that, by excluding the Stallone-shaped elephant in the room, sees Creed break out on its own. - The Digital Fix
      Read More | Posted Mar 07, 2023
      3/5
      Knock at the Cabin (2023) It’s not Shyamalan on top-drawer The Sixth Sense form, but nor is it one of his infamous disasters. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Feb 07, 2023
      4/5
      Attachment (2022) It’s steeped in folklore and contains some solid scares but, most importantly, it delivers a romance we really want to succeed despite its challenges both natural and supernatural. - Flickering Myth
      Read More | Posted Feb 07, 2023
      3/5
      Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022) There aren’t many original ideas at play in Christmas Bloody Christmas, but director Joe Begos – who recently made VFW and the celebrated Bliss – certainly knows his way around a gory set piece. - Flickering Myth
      Read More | Posted Dec 12, 2022
      4/5
      Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022) "The fact Wakanda Forever works at all is impressive. The fact it almost matches its exceptional predecessor is nothing short of a triumph." - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Nov 09, 2022
      Weird: The Al Yankovic Story (2022) The movie is absurd, ridiculous, silly and, without question, the stupidest movie of the year. It's also one of the funniest. - Yahoo! Movies
      Read More | Posted Nov 04, 2022
      2/5
      Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022) It’s easy to laugh at Gen Z. But they deserve something a whole lot sharper than this. - Flickering Myth
      Read More | Posted Sep 07, 2022
      4/5
      Tomorrow Morning (2022) When there’s this much charm at play, it’s impossible to stop your toes from tapping or deny the waterworks when they come. - Flickering Myth
      Read More | Posted Sep 07, 2022
      2/5
      Crimes of the Future (2022) Even the old master of the macabre runs into a self-imposed brick wall this time around. - Flickering Myth
      Read More | Posted Sep 07, 2022
      4/5
      Mr. Malcolm's List (2022) Sharp, perceptive and as perfectly frothy as a fancy cappuccino. If this movie were a suitor, I’d consider myself utterly wooed. - Flickering Myth
      Read More | Posted Sep 07, 2022
      3/5
      Anaïs in Love (2021) There’s a pleasant nuance to the way Anaïs in Love depicts the burgeoning romance of its second half. - Flickering Myth
      Read More | Posted Aug 18, 2022
      3/5
      Eiffel (2021) There’s something irresistible about this ridiculousness, with the movie joyously waving farewell to realism or credulity and revelling in its fantasy portrait of a man driven to build a 300-metre slice of over-compensation. - Flickering Myth
      Read More | Posted Aug 17, 2022
      3/5
      The Gray Man (2022) The film knows its mission objectives and has the clinical, vicious skills required to meet them, but occasionally over-stretches itself by virtue of its attempts to be as big and bombastic as possible. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Jul 19, 2022
      A Love Song (2022) Deliberately eschews big dramatic beats and revelations, understanding that these actors and these characters are the real draw. - Flickering Myth
      Read More | Posted Jun 22, 2022
      We Met in Virtual Reality (2022) It serves as an utterly moving ode to the very real relationships that can be built across geographical and cultural borders within a bizarre, surreal fantasy environment. - Flickering Myth
      Read More | Posted Jun 22, 2022
      Fire of Love (2022) An engrossing and ultimately emotionally overwhelming portrait of these two remarkable people. - Flickering Myth
      Read More | Posted Jun 22, 2022
      Hatching (2022) This is a film packed with ideas and entirely committed to its bizarre, heightened world. - Flickering Myth
      Read More | Posted Jun 22, 2022
      Good Luck to You, Leo Grande (2022) Given the habit of cinema to depict the sex industry as nothing more than an exploitative hellscape, it’s very welcome to see it used as the backdrop for a genuinely sweet comedy. - Flickering Myth
      Read More | Posted Jun 22, 2022
      3/5
      Lightyear (2022) Lightyear sadly might not have the capacity to fly to new heights for Pixar, but at least this character still knows how to fall with style. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Jun 14, 2022
      2/5
      Elvis (2022) If you’re after revelation and intrigue, that’s in short supply in this Wikipedia odyssey through the career of the most successful recording artist to ever walk the Earth. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Jun 09, 2022
      4/5
      Men (2022) Like much of the best horror cinema over the years, Men marries intellectual stimulation and psychological terror with full-blooded, grotesque thrills. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted May 26, 2022
      4/5
      Chip 'n' Dale: Rescue Rangers (2022) It’s a fast-moving adventure story that delivers enormous dollops of meta humour while also cartwheeling with self-aware elan through the tropes of the detective tale. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted May 18, 2022
      2/5
      Downton Abbey: A New Era (2022) This is Sunday evening froth which seems ill at ease on the big screen and doesnt have the tools to justify its presence there, refusing to shed its listless primetime feel. - WhyNow (UK)
      Read More | Posted Apr 28, 2022
      5/5
      The Northman (2022) The Northman, with its vicious blend of blood and ice, feels like the crowning achievement for one of the most idiosyncratic and unique filmmakers working in Hollywood today. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Apr 17, 2022
      4/5
      The Lost City (2022) In terms of pure fun, this might just be one of the most joyous cinema experiences of the year so far. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Apr 12, 2022
      3/5
      Followers (2021) An efficient and fast-paced chiller that manages to do more with the idea of influencer culture than viewers might expect. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Apr 07, 2022
      2/5
      Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (2022) This is a movie afflicted by every conceivable curse of being a thankless middle instalment, unfolding through a lot of noise and CGI sparkle but without anything in the way of real storytelling magic. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Apr 05, 2022
      4/5
      The Phantom of the Open (2021) The film makes a virtue of simplicity and praises those who are willing to give things a try above those who seem to achieve without ever having to break a sweat. - WhyNow (UK)
      Read More | Posted Mar 31, 2022
      1/5
      Morbius (2022) Even the action scenes are rendered as pig-ugly blotches of dull pixels, with the climactic scuffle so colourless as to be entirely incomprehensible. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Mar 31, 2022
      2/5
      The Nan Movie (2022) It feels like the movie has arrived from a wormhole, having been produced 15 years ago when this sort of catchphrase-based comedy was at its peak in Britain. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Mar 19, 2022
      3/5
      Cyrano (2021) You might not fall head over heels in love, but it makes for an enjoyable serenade. - Flickering Myth
      Read More | Posted Feb 24, 2022
      2/5
      Studio 666 (2022) Those who dont know their Everlong from their Monkey Wrench may struggle to get behind this particular thrill ride. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Feb 24, 2022
      3/5
      Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) In many ways, a film like Texas Chainsaw Massacre is ideally suited for a streaming platform an undemanding and entertaining gore-fest which clocks in at a group-watch-friendly 85 minutes. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Feb 20, 2022
      3/5
      Uncharted (2022) When it embraces the potential to be silly and spectacular, it's an absolute delight. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Feb 11, 2022
      4.5/5
      Nightmare Alley (2021) An intoxicating noir epic that has cigarette smoke on its breath, blood beneath its fingernails and terrifying blackness in its heart. - metro.co.uk
      Read More | Posted Jan 13, 2022
      4/5
      Scream (2022) A joyous and triumphant return for one of the most inventive franchises in horror history. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Jan 12, 2022
      4/5
      West Side Story (2021) Spielberg looks like a man who has been directing musicals for his whole life. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Dec 16, 2021
      3/5
      Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) It almost collapses under the weight of fan speculation and internet theories, but keeps its heart going via a bloodstream packed to the gills with white-hot fan service. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Dec 16, 2021
      4/5
      Pirates (2021) It overflows with charm and deserves to find an audience who will chime with its time capsule approach and relish the opportunity to once again party like it's 1999. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Dec 16, 2021
      4/5
      Paris, 13th District (2021) This film steams through its action in a blur of sex, silliness and surprising heart. - Flickering Myth
      Read More | Posted Dec 16, 2021
      2/5
      The Hand of God (2021) Enjoyable vignettes aren't enough to sustain the movie through its ambling two-hour running time, leaving it looking desperate for a direction of some sort. - Flickering Myth
      Read More | Posted Dec 16, 2021
      2/5
      A Boy Called Christmas (2021) It's a film that leaves you yearning to delve into the riches of its unknown worlds, but lacks the propulsion to actually get the audience there. - Flickering Myth
      Read More | Posted Dec 16, 2021
      4/5
      Silent Night (2021) Griffin takes the Richard Curtis template and sticks it in a blender with a load of Lars von Trier sad-athons. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Dec 11, 2021
      3/5
      Tick, Tick... Boom! (2021) It's intriguing for a movie with such an explosive title that it really finds its voice when it's at its quietest. - Film Stories
      Read More | Posted Nov 18, 2021
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