The Tooth Fairy Reviews
A disgrace to the art of film making, The Tooth Fairy is a disaster of a film and a complete waste of time and money. The Rock stumbles again as he continues to pick movies to be in that are awful.
Employing the reliable box office cast-against-type gag, the hulking smile machine Ex-WWF superstar Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has taken another flying leap of the ropes into comedy.
Removed from his preferred action comfort zone, Johnson follows in the muscled foot steps of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Hulk Hogan in attempting to rebrand himself as a highly likeable family film actor.
Continually churning out frivolously cutesy puff products, The Samoan Rock delivers yet another ideological and predictable journey into sobering revelation. Flashing his pearly whites through a myriad of obvious set-ups dressed in a blatantly ridiculous costume delivering clichéd lines in a formulaic fashion, the Tooth Fairy is a flimsy and humourless saccharine fantasy.
Over-the-hill enforcer Derek Thompson (Johnson) is nearing the end of his career as the most violent player in the Los Angeles B-grade Ice-hockey league. Nicknamed the Tooth Fairy; for his rough habits on the Ice of knocking out opponents' teeth, Derek is disillusioned in his role model position, advising idealistic fresh-faced fans to lower their expectations as dreams don't come true.
When Derek takes his egotistical cynicism home to his long-suffering girlfriend Carly (Ashley Judd); taking her six-year-old Tess's (Destiny Whitlock) but forgetting to leave money, then attempts to fix it by almost bursting her bubble of belief about the "real Tooth Fairy", Derek is destined to receive his comeuppances.
That night; after being sent to his own home, Derek receives a summons stating that he has broken fairy law and must pay penance for his habit of killing dreams. In what seems a nightmare, Derek is whisked away to the magical Fairyland, where a secret society of fairies lead by the manners-driven matronly boss Lily (Julie Andrews) advises him of his peculiar cosmic punishment.
To his horror, Derek is sentenced to two weeks on-call community service as a tooth fairy and under the supervision of his new case worker Tracy (Stephen Merchant) he must attend the homes of freshly toothless children, collect their teeth and leave money beneath their pillows without detection.
With the help of his little bag of magic aids including shrinking paste, invisible spray, dog bark mints, cat repellent, amnesia dust, magic wand and of course his bad attitude the hulking muscled-mass continuously flouts fairy law and causes a series of prickly situations.
Will he learn the error of his ways? Will his girlfriend start to question his bizarre behavior and mysterious disappearances? Can he find his own forgotten dreams? Will he ever get out of his tutu again?
Comedic director, Michael Lembeck's pedestrian offering has a handful of nice enough ideas but simply doesn't work. A goofy crowd-pleaser for all of five minutes, this sugary distraction employs a distinguished supporting cast but is hollower than a cavity.
The chastising Mary Poppins-esque Andrew's and the trash-talking lanky Merchant look like their having extreme fun giving a man three times their size (Johnson) a calculated verbal smack down. Young Chase Ellison plays a mean guitar and impresses all round, however the total chemistry mismatched Judd is barely able to look interested.
The best part of this film is its cameos. Seth MacFarlane (the creator of Family Guy) briefly flies in as the fairy equivalent of a drug dealer and the wise-cracking fairy storeman Billy Crystal is a welcomed distraction to the life suction that is Johnson.
The verdict: As Johnson indignantly states "you can't handle the tooth", I think we can all handle the tooth but too much sugar can result in tooth decay, and like Johnson I was ready to sprout wings and fly away.
Published: The Queanbeyan Age
Date of Publication: 05/02/2010